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  • Please help me...

    Hi all, I'm new here and I found this website by chance.

    I have been accused of raping a girl when she was sleeping. Basic facts are I met her, her sister and a friend of theirs (all female) when I was on a course with work - I was in the pub getting some food (I was staying overnight as working in the same area the next day).

    They came and sat near me whilst I was looking at the menu and reading a book I had taken with me, she said something quite odd and I laughed as I had overheard her - she asked what I thought, we all started chatting and I was invited to join them at another pub later, which I did, for a drink

    I met up with them, was invited to another pub and back to this girls Mum's house (who was in the third pub)

    A lot of toing and froing went on between the girl, her sister and Mum, some other guy was floating around like a taxi, and the sister asked when I said I was going to get a taxi back to my digs "Do you want me to come with you?". I said no, as I had to be up early.

    She left for home with the other guy - my accuser was desperate to get her sister out of the way, and he asked what the sleeping arrangements would be, as when he came back he "didn't want to disturb anyone".

    I asked her for a taxi number, and she said to come and give her a cuddle which I did (with no intent other than leaving - I'm in a long term relationship) and she started to kiss me and make sexual advances.

    She pulled me to her and we had sex for a minute or so, when she suddenly changed her mind and said "What are you doing, that's rape".

    Stupidly I panicked and ran.

    There were people in the house (her mum and her lover) this guy was due back anytime, and she had her daughter asleep in the same room.

    I could never do anyhting like that to anyone, however she has told the police all manner of lies (like she slapped me, I digitally penetrated her etc.) and as yet I have only been questioned on tape and bailed til later on, pending CPS advice.

    This allegation is untrue, what I am worried about is that I have forgotten some points about the night (I was questioned five weeks after the night in question) and I feel if I contact the Police to say these things they will think I am the liar.

    Please can someone help me. I told my partner everything as I thought it would be best - The Police suggested that I only tell her I have been accused of a serious assault (Quote "You wouldn't be lying") and the female DC said that there was no guarantee I would be charged - they would make their report and the CPS would make the decision.

    They traced me through DNA on her - I was cautioned in 2003 and a sample was taken then, and I have never been in any trouble other than that - I spent 10 years in the Forces with exemplary conduct. The Poilce wanted to seize some of my clothes but didn't, and they wanted a pubic hair sample, but didn't take one.

    This girl has ruined my life - I'm so worried about what might happen.

    Please can anyone help???

  • #2
    stay calm

    hi there
    Like my son who has been accused you have got to try and stay focused, unfortunately my son is in a bail hostel and cant come to the area we live, which kills me, he has freedom but has to be in for 9pm, im sure you family and friends are there for you.
    You have to start writing everything down... everything about the incident you can remember, im doing that everyday when i see the girl in question.... its worse for us because she lives 4 doors away, try and stay calm and remember to log everything down you see or happen and anything people tell you.

    take care Marie

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    • #3
      Hi Brodie_76,

      The best advice I can give you is to get a good solicitor, tell him everything, even the bits you forgot at your initial statement, and write everything down as and when you remember it, no matter how trivial you think any of your recollections are, put them down.

      Hope this advice, even tho short, helps.

      Take care.

      Ali

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      • #4
        I agree with Ali, you need to get yourself a seriously good solicitor, don't rely on the Duty Solicitor. Choose one who specialises in sex crimes. this may sound mad, but if you don't get a specialist solicitor you may live to regret it! we took exceptionally poor legal advice when my husband was accused, and it was our downfall....FASO can direct you to one in your area.

        I would also say that you need to question everything - don't just take your solicitor's word for things. this sounds like a classic case of drunken, post-coital regret....ask for your accusers medical records, think about BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (type it into google and ask your solicitor to chase it).

        never post details of your case on an open forum, even one like this, as it could come back to haunt you.

        this could seriously affect the rest of your life: if you ever apply for a job which requires enhanced CRB clearance, even the fact that you were arrested for rape will show up. do everything you can to stop this now.

        good luck. please do contact FASO: i wish we had.

        message me if you want to talk.

        Saffron

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