Police interview ?

[Kjg]

Hi all
Need advise as I am going through family court at mo now my ex has gone to police and made false allegations that I have raped her once 9 years ago and another 3 years ago. I have had a police interview under caution and was let go not being charged yet? This has not every happened and the allegations that she has made are from harassment to assault to rape how come it takes till I take her to court over welfare of my children for this to be alleged. I am worried about what's going to happen now and will this effect my family court case over custody of my children? I feel sick and low I've lost 3 stone over the last 6 months and this was before these stupid allegations. How can I defend myself over something that never happened? And will I now have to face another court case over lies my ex has told

[is there justice?]

Welcome Kjg even though I am sorry to see yet another new person here.

My best advice is to read through some of the threads on here and someone with similar experience will no doubt reply over the weekend. It seems to be a familiar story but that's no consolation to you.

It could take several weeks even months to find out if you are being charged or not and her motive definitely seems to be to thwart you over custody of your children.

Being on the receiving end of FAs is a real shock and body blow but stay calm and put your thinking cap on. Over the years you probably have a collection of birthday or Christmas cards, photos, etc to show you were both once happy together. Keep them safe in case you need them. Ditto for emails, texts etc.

If you have been having contact with your kids she can't have been very concerned. You will find a few other things that go in your favour.

Hopefully you had a solicitor with you when questioned but if not, make sure you do in the future.

Your GP can help you and they are often sympathetic. It sounds like your health is already suffering so it may be worth a visit.

You will get lots of support here and some sound advice so come back as often as you need to.

Think of your children and stay strong.

[lawlessone2009]

You are far from alone in what is happening to you.

This appears to, in the present day, simply be a part of the process whenever there is a family court issue on the horizon.

I wouldn't be surprised if this course of action has been recommended to her either through friends or in an online information chatroom type setup.

It WILL be mentioned in family court. It'll form part of her reasoning for you not being granted any access at all to your kids. You need to be brave and stand up and object to her stance and accusations when they are mentioned in family court.

As for criminal court. You could find yourself in the dock. I am by no means certain as the Police/prosecutors must by now have enough common sense to realise when someone is shouting something in their pursuit of keeping their kids. Women will do ANYTHING to keep custody. It's a shame that she sees fit to unleash this on you but attempt to be a little understanding of her position. Of course, it DOES NOT justify what she has done.

I only mention it as when you can finally understand her motives you can begin to pick her claims apart. It kind of gives you and inner strength and understanding and removes some of the fear.

Don't stop fighting for your kids. The last thing you want is for them to be brought up by a woman who thinks it is okay to shout 'rape' any time things don't appear to be going her way. It's a bad atmosphere for children and does not teach them the correct way of approaching situations which may not be favourable.

[Kjg]

Just can't believe she could do this, I can't defend some thing that's never happened not only do I have stress of waiting for family court outcome but now to see if I am going to be charged with something I haven't done just through her giving a false statement to the police. And now will this effect my family court case, all I have ever done is try to protect my children.
Is this common for false statements to be made to police to gain legal aid in family court ?
I feel like I am alone and worried how this will effect my kids future, will the judge in family court see what she's trying to do now

[grababadger]

Hi,

Dont worry you're not alone, im going through the same thing. Been falsely accused of rape, interestingly only since I started family court proceedings against my ex. The family court have something called a 'fact finding hearing' to acertain whether they think the offence took place, this is seperate to the criminal court. Try not to get to worried, it should be obvious to the police and family courts why she is doing this. Letting it ruin you is letting her win. Keep a calm head and dont let anyone see your anger, especially social services. It's all a game my friend, one which you have no choice but to win if you want normality. I promise you It get 's easier to accept and deal with, just takes time.

[Kjg]

It's just the worry about being charged with some thing I haven't done and how it will effect family court can't understand why no charge when interviewed but may have to go back for second interview after they have spoken to children and I expect they have been poisoned as well to say what ever it takes so the mother can get legal aid. Really having a bad time at mo feel so alone

[Boys don't cry]

Welcome to the forum Kjg.

You haven't been charged at the first interview because you didn't admit what you are accused of and the police and family judge haven't enough evidence.

You are not alone and the members from this forum will bring you lots of support and advice.

If it is not to gain legal aid it might be to keep the custody of the children and for you to pay maintenance for them.

I have been falsely accused by my now ex,charged,went to crown court,been found not guilty and went to county court in order to see my son and have again been falsely accused...

Being falsely accused and charged is not the end of the world but is a mentally and financially draining experience.

Do you have common friends who could write character references for you?
I found them extremely helpful in my cases.

Did you have a solicitor present during your interview with the police?
Are you on bail?

[Kjg]

Yes had solicitor with me and no charge or bail just told they would speak to social services about speaking to children. My worry is that more lies will be told now just to get me charged with something. These allegations are call historic as told by police with a 9 year gap from allegations I am sure she will now get people to lie for her. My days are full of worry just waiting for police to call again as well trying to battle residency of my children in family court

[lawlessone2009]

Hi,

Dont worry you're not alone, im going through the same thing. Been falsely accused of rape, interestingly only since I started family court proceedings against my ex. The family court have something called a 'fact finding hearing' to acertain whether they think the offence took place, this is seperate to the criminal court. Try not to get to worried, it should be obvious to the police and family courts why she is doing this. Letting it ruin you is letting her win. Keep a calm head and dont let anyone see your anger, especially social services. It's all a game my friend, one which you have no choice but to win if you want normality. I promise you It get 's easier to accept and deal with, just takes time.

Couldn't put it any better than this. Absolutely spot on.

[Southwestaccused]

Hi Kjg

Have you had any further news? I am in a similar position with FAs being used to assist a family case and have also been voluntarily interviewed by the police and still waiting for an outcome.

If it helps, you are not alone. Don't give up!

[Rights Fighter]

.....................
Is this common for false statements to be made to police to gain legal aid in family court ?
........................

I can't see why she should make false allegations just to get legal aid. More like to get full custody/residence. This is not at all unusual.

As the police have NFA'd you (yes?) then you have to fight the SS.

http://www.fassit.co.uk/

You'll get specialised assistance on the forums on the above link

[Kjg]

No news

Hi Kjg

Have you had any further news? I am in a similar position with FAs being used to assist a family case and have also been voluntarily interviewed by the police and still waiting for an outcome.

If it helps, you are not alone. Don't give up!

I have had no news yet they have interviewed my children and I am sure that will say what she wants then to say. She is telling me she's going to send people round to get me and the nightmare continues
All over me trying to get custody of my children she's turned all her kids against me so looks like I have a battle I have been to the doctors and can't cope with work and try and look for info on Google all the time ( that don't help ) the worry if going to prison is always on my mind knowing I have not done anything wrong it could take weeks just waiting a second interview for more allegations

[myhome]

Hi KJG - the waiting in limbo while other people make decisions about your future is the worst thing about what's happening at the moment. I can understand why you are researching on google, but you've said you're not finding it helpful so maybe have a break from this for a while. All cases are different so I would guess that you're only finding general information?
Have you been signed off work? Have you thought about having counselling or one of the other talking therapies? many of us have found them very helpful. What other support do you have?
How do you spend your time? Do you do relaxation techniques, or have any hobbies you can get involved in? Exercise of any sort (including gardening, walking etc) is a great way of burning off the anxious energy you are experiencing now.
Keep posting on here and we'll help you all we can.....be strong - you have truth on your side....MH

[Southwestaccused]

Some useful information here for you or anybody else who is having to deal with parental alienation syndrome. I know how heartbreaking it is

http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/pas.htm

[can it get worse]

So sorry to hear of your sad situation.
Try to stay strong through this nightmare. It is hell and so difficult to find the strength.

The length of time that the police take seems unbearable on most days but you must try to focus on other things. Easy to say and I admit I got through most days fully functioning on the outside but in a blur on the inside.

I hope you receive some good news shortly.