Need some advice :/

[Cookie Monster]

I think it's horrible how far and serious lies can get. I don't know all the details about what his sister told the police yesterday but surely they would think its strange that one minute she doesn't want him in the house and then next she wants no further action. It's got way out of hand- had social workers question my ability of being a mum when my baby is born and my boyfriend isn't allowed at my house. Think it's unfair that they have got involved when it hasn't got to court yet. It's also annoying how soon as she made the accusation they took it seriously but when his sister wants no further action they take their time x

[is there justice?]

I'm glad she has taken that step but I seriously think she needs psychiatric help. Hopefully SS will catch up soon and life can get back to as normal as possible

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Cookie Monster, I've just been reading your thread. Poor you.
Hopefully you're b/f will get NFA (no further action) though it may take some time. Just a word of warning .... although you're probably both dying to see each other etc, it's really important for you both to abide by the rules social services have laid down until it's officially over and you have their go-ahead.

Look after yourself and your baby

[Cookie Monster]

I've got my fingers crossed! He has to go to court or something tomorrow morning (I'm not entirely sure) so ill let you know how that goes, also we are allowed to see each other, he is staying at a family members so I visit him there, he just isn't allowed at my house due to there being younger children in the house. Don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see him- it probably sounds stupid but he is like my best friend, I have social anxiety disorder so I struggle talking to people and making friends, he's always helped me with my issues so I want to be there every step of the way for him and help him get through this. On the bright side we can now feel our baby kick with our hands- that cheered him up a lot thanks for all the support xx

[Beagle]

Hello Cookie Monster, it sounds as though you've had some good news recently and hopefully all will be well for you and your other half.

I have been reading the posts with a lot of interest as this is an area I have a lot of exposure to. There's lots of really good advice here and support and I thought the questions you asked were very representative of what people in your families situation need answering. It sounds as though you're now in capable hands but for other people out there who are a bit flummoxed by these types of proceedings you might find the following helpful.

You asked what would happen at the court hearing. I assume you meant the first court hearing. This hearing is called the Plea before venue and mode of trial, this is where the charge is read to the accused and the accused has the opportunity to enter a plea, however its quite usual for the accused to indicate they are not in a position to plea at that that time and the plea be entered at a later court date. The magistrates court will formally send the matter to the Crown Court and set a date for the next hearing, called a Preliminary Hearing.

You mentioned that one of the sister's friend's will be acting as a potential witness. Based on what you have said about this, this is very doubtful as it is all hearsay and would be very difficult to use as evidence against him.

Once the matter goes to court the investigation stage has ended and the proceedings stage begins; therefore if the police were going to no further action the matter they should do so before the first court appearance. However, the CPS can 'discontinue' against your partner at any stage during the proceedings.

There was also a mention of showing your boyfriend's good character. Good character is not shown through witnesses standing up in court or written statements saying how good your partner's character is but though a lack of previous relevant convictions. So if he has no relevant convictions he's of good character. Character witnesses are 99% of the time only used during the sentencing stage of the proceedings, so only if he admits guilt or is convicted.

I sincerely hope that this has cleared a few things up for you going forward and and for others in this story situation just starting on this long road.

Good luck

Beagles

[Cookie Monster]

Hi beagles- thanks, you seem to know a lot of valuable information today we have some bad news, he has to go to crown court in may. I'm not sure what that is, do you know what might happen there? Any information is greatly appreciated x

[tiger mum]

Hi Cookie Monster - although his sister has asked the police to drop the charges I suspect there will be a time lag before the police take this to the CPS and the situation is resolved. When my son's FA did the same thing the senior officer denied she had done so, and it was a month before we got confirmation the police weren't sending the case to the CPS. In your case the sister has changed her mind later in the process, maybe its harder to stop the prosecution in its tracks - but that doesn't mean it wont be dropped! When we were in the position you are in now my son's solicitor explained that the CPS has to re-evaluate the case without the support of the FA. I asked if my son could be prosecuted without the FA giving evidence- he said yes if the police felt the crime had been committed and others could bear witness to it. I have heard that often the police put pressure on the FA to keep to her story - I hope that's not the case for you guys. I'm sure you'll get your NFA - but you might have to wait a bit longer for the process to chug along. Hope you and your bump are doing okay xx

[Cookie Monster]

Hi tiger mum- yesterday my boyfriend had to go to the court to talk about what is going to be done, he has to go to crown court in may. However his mum says that his sister is basically willing to do anything to not go to court, so hopefully she will come clean or at court under the pressure she will admit her pathetic lie. Until she admits its a lie they are going to carry everything on. His mum seems very positive that she will admit its a lie so I have my fingers crossed. I'm doing fine thank you and so is bump in less than two weeks we find out if its a boy or girl so at least my boyfriend has something to look forward to x

[Beagle]

Hi cookiemonster

The Crown Court is where your partners trial will be heard. It sounds like he's just had his preliminary hearing, where they will determine what issues there are if any and what date they should be resolved so that the next hearing can go ahead without any issues. they will also serve additional evidence so that your partner can see at least some of the evidence against him if not all of it, before the next hearing, which is where your partner will enter his plea. If your partners case is to be discontinued by the CPS it would usually happen between the hearing he just had and the PCMH, but can happen later.

Good lock for the next hearing.

Beagle

[thisisinsane]

beware of the social worker

Hi CM I have been reading your thread. My friend who is FA is in a similar situation with his wife being 8mths pregnant only it is his daughter accusing him.
He also has to do a risk assessment and is not allowed anywhere near children. I don't know what kind of experience you have made with social services but be very careful when you talk to them. They might also assess your ability to be a good mother which basicaly means nothing else than they want to know that if you had to chose between being loyal to your bf or raising your baby you chose the childs best interest. It seems paradox though because a child needs its father especially because he didn't do anything.

Beware of the ss tactics they are rats and will use everything and anything against both if you. The child is not what they are concerned about it is their statistics. Sw are like the police trained to believe the victoms story so don't expect any sympathy or support or fairness from them. In my friends case they took advantage of his wife not being a native speaker and having difficulties in understanding their professional language. So they made her believe she wasnt allowed to see or even speak to her hudband on the phone for two months. It wadnt until after mx friend had his first ss interview they pretended nothing like that had ever been said or made her believe and rhat probably it wss because shes too stupid to understand thus her fault. They are disgusting and rotten to the core...

[Cookie Monster]

Thisisinsane- I completely understand where your coming from. Social services are so corrupt. Ny boyfriends sister is trying to admit he didn't do it but social services won't let her tell anyone, they are putting words in her mouth now and making the situation worse. I am being very careful with the social services- they have said they have to assess my ability as a mother which seems very unfair as the child isn't born yet, seems very strange. His sister has said she refuses to go to court and doesn't want anything else to happen apart from having her brother back but they are refusing to listen to her and drag it out as much as possible. I'm hoping she goes to police and just tells them she was lying :/

[tigertiger]

Hi CM, in my case the Police point blank refused to allow my ex gf FA to retract. She had spoken with the officer in charge telling her she wanted to retract and tell the truth but she changed the subject and refused to discuss why she wanted to retract. Some officers really have no interest in hearing the truth, they know its false but run with it at all cost as its the top points for them.

She only managed to retract by going to her own solicitor and making a statement there which was then forwarded on to the police and my solicitor. While this didnt stop the police from trying to push it through, the CPS did eventually give me an NFA.

If she wants to retract before he goes up in court, it may be worth her going into a different solicitors with an appropriate adult witness and making a retraction statement to forward on to the police / CPS and your partners solicitor. Her going to the police direct herself and telling them the truth from my experience will just be ignored or twisted and with her being young will more than likely try to scare her with threatining to prosecute her.

[tiger mum]

Hi tiger tiger - I knew I'd heard that about police refusing to accept a retraction from somewhere - glad you were able to comment. Isn't it ridiculous? The police told my son's FA told them she was scared to testify but her friends told my son it was because her lies would be exposed. The police seemed so reluctant to consider these girls/women lie because prosecution of liars doesn't get them the brownie points prosecuting sex offenders. Also I reported her for making a false accusation before she reported a rape - when I asked the police about this they told me she hadn't called him a rapist. Her mother rang in a rape and named my son! They believe what suits them and conveniently forget the rest.... These girls don't understand what they do when they make these vile accusations - and nobody thinks it's in their interests to point it out. They aren't victims of abuse - they are victims of their own stupidity - the police seem blind to this.