Lesson: Dont bother trying to get closure.

[tigertiger]

After my exgf falsely accused me of rape, retracted, I still got arrested and eventually given NFA.

Its been a week or two since the NFA and I was a little disappointed she never got in touch to say sorry or even a goodbye after our relationship. As my friends said there is no closure from that kind of person, evil / mixed up. (Why didn’t I listen).

Any way cue her messenger status saying shes in hospital having surgery. Me being the concerned idiot I sent 2 text messages asking if shes ok, followed by two phone calls with no reply or answer.

1 Hour later I have a Policeman at my door telling me shes reported me for harassment.

He said at this stage nothing is happening other than issuing me with a harassment notice and should I made contact again I could be investigated.
To be fair he was nice and just said said we issue these like confetti and people these days don’t bother to tell people themselves not to contact them and get us to do it instead. He said I realise she could have just blocked your number or simply told you not to contact her but shes done this instead so best just to steer clear of someone like that. It said the notice does not mean I am guilty of any crime but it will move a step up should I make contact again.

Just found out this notice may now also appear on an enhanced crb. Annoyed to say the least.

So the closure I now get is a harassment notice, and another black mark to my name.

[Heretowin]

After my exgf falsely accused me of rape, retracted, I still got arrested and eventually given NFA.

Its been a week or two since the NFA and I was a little disappointed she never got in touch to say sorry or even a goodbye after our relationship. As my friends said there is no closure from that kind of person, evil / mixed up. (Why didn’t I listen).

Any way cue her messenger status saying shes in hospital having surgery. Me being the concerned idiot I sent 2 text messages asking if shes ok, followed by two phone calls with no reply or answer.

1 Hour later I have a Policeman at my door telling me shes reported me for harassment.

He said at this stage nothing is happening other than issuing me with a harassment notice and should I made contact again I could be investigated.
To be fair he was nice and just said said we issue these like confetti and people these days don’t bother to tell people themselves not to contact them and get us to do it instead. He said I realise she could have just blocked your number or simply told you not to contact her but shes done this instead so best just to steer clear of someone like that. It said the notice does not mean I am guilty of any crime but it will move a step up should I make contact again.

Just found out this notice may now also appear on an enhanced crb. Annoyed to say the least.

So the closure I now get is a harassment notice, and another black mark to my name.

Oh dear. Where to start. You sound so like my son, that's the sort of thing he would have done. But in his case, despite suggesting she would retract she didn't and he went through the hell of a trial and acquittal.

After the acquittal his barrister told him never to contact her ever again or she would use it to get him behind bars again. I assured him he wouldn't and if he did then the barrister would be defending me in court for what I would do to him!

Please please see that women like this are out to destroy you. Don't give her another opportunity.

Stay safe.

HTW

[tigertiger]

Thanks for the reply HTW. Your right, sobering advice really.

[is there justice?]

It sounds like you had a lot of feelings for your ex gf.

Forget her now as a friend, acquaintance or even a human being. She isn't the person you thought she was, who you thought she was just doesn't exist.

Listen to your friends and get on and enjoy life!

[tigertiger]

Yeah I do which is why I guess I had the confusion over only trying to see the good in her.

"She isn't the person you thought she was, who you thought she was just doesn't exist."

Sums it up really, very true and need to remind myself of that.

Blocked and deleted all possible avenues for contact now. She doesnt live near either which is a bonus. Time to pull myself together and enjoy life now as your a long time dead!

[tiger mum]

Hi Tiger Tiger - sounds like you're a really compassionate person and you must have a lot of love and forgiveness in you if you have genuine concern for someone who has caused you such pain. It takes time to get over someone you really care about, I had years of nastiness and court battles with the father of my sons - as you are probably realising even bitterness and hostility is "contact" and however negative keeps the relationship alive - this false rape saga will have kept her in your thoughts.

Now try and put this nightmare behind you and one day you'll find someone super special who is deserving of you - someone out of a different mould with strong values and without the capacity for lies and game playing. My ex had such a big influence on how I viewed relationships it was only a couple of years ago I found a guy with the same outlook as me and its been so easy. Not all women are crazy loons - don't let this one spoil you for the next lovely lass who comes your way x

[myhome]

Hi TT - how dreadful for you - you sound like a lovely, caring and compassionate person She certainly doesn't deserve to have someone as thoughtful as you in her life, and you most certainly deserve to have someone who will really value you sensitive qualities. Someone out there is for you and she will be one very lucky lady!! I hope you find happiness you deserve in the rest of your life....

[tigertiger]

Thanks all, very wise words from experience all round, makes a lot of sense now. Just the little pep talk I needed to set me off the right path.