Bail date brought forward- I feel sick

[Abaddream]

Around 2 months ago I had a drunken encounter with a female. 2 young people bumping into each other and messing around. There was no sex or even attempt but other stuff happened. We were caught in public and the girl for what I can only believe to be out of embarassment accused me of rape. My life ended in a moment. I cried for the first time ever and just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes once again. Before this I was a very outgoing strong optimistic person who saw the good in all people and situations. Now I feel deep depression and anxiety, I spend hours in bed just staring at the walls feeling no emotion at all. I feel so drained.

After 12 of the longest hours of my life in the custody cell my solicitor arrived he comforted me saying how common these allegations were and him speaking to me like a human made me feel better, I thought anyone accused of such a thing would be looked down on like scum by anyone. So I felt human for 10 minutes. Until I stepped into the interview with 2 female officers who grilled me for an hour and a half. I feel they genuinely thought I had preyed on this girl.

I was bailed to return 10 weeks later but today I heard from my solicitor for the first time and they have requested I come in sooner, what could this be for? As im sure you all understand every piece of news I recieve I think the worst of. I assume if it was nfa a letter would suffice and they wouldn't need to call me in. I can only assume they are ready to charge me with something? I am stunned, speechless, being sick, depressed - you name it

My girlfriend who I was on a break from at the time has stoof by me and her family and my family all know what kind of person I am and that there is no way I would do such a thing. The same for anyone who knows me that ive told but I am worried if if goes to court the jury will obviously not know me. They dont know im a nice kid and theyre the ones who decide

I always had some kind of faith in the world 'everything happens for a reason' 'karma' 'bad things dont happen to good people' but I cant believe any of this anymore. I cant believe this can happen. This girl is getting on with her life knowing everything that happened was consensual whilst she puts me through hell to the point if I didnt have the amazingd people around me I would just kill myself

My dads has told me your lifes never over until you die and I am holding on to that.

[is there justice?]

I'm sorry you had to find this forum but welcome anyway.

You sound like you are still in the initial stages of shock and it might be that your GP can help there. Most of us have found our GPs to be extremely understanding.

It's great that your family and girlfriend are 100% behind you and your Dad is right about life not being over though it can feel that way.

Unfortunately the police seem to have little interest in the truth or facts, preferring only to try and secure a conviction so you do have to help yourself as much as you can.

Might there be any CCTV footage showing you both together? Are there any witnesses from earlier to say that you two were close? Did you know her before, are there any texts? Is there anything on her fb page showing that she is behaving normally and happy?

Please don't consider suicide, everyone will then assume you are guilty and she will have won. Even if charged, that is a good way from a conviction. I think that the motive, having been caught in a public place, is definitely a plausible one to avoid condemnation from family, even possibly charges.

I'm not sure why they have recalled you earlier. It may just be for further questioning. Hopefully it won't be to charge you but even if it is, stay calm. There are people on here who have been bailed for an interminable amount of time, kept in a cruel limbo.

Karma? Well I can't wait for it to catch up with someone and her friend, both liars but the best revenge, when you get through this, is to get back on track and enjoy your life.

Let us know how you get on.

[Casehardened]

I was bailed to return 10 weeks later but today I heard from my solicitor for the first time and they have requested I come in sooner, what could this be for?

I can't really add anything to ITJ's excellent advice except to say there might be a innocuous explanation for the early recall; for instance new evidence may have come to light which throws doubt on the girl's initial statement (or she may have changed her statement entirely!) and the police therefore wish to reinterview you.

EDIT to add that I've just re-read IJT's reply and see that she had already mentioned this possibility.....

NB you mentioned that the girl was 'young'; in order that members may give the correct advice could you clarify whether she is over 16.

[can it get worse]

Hi,

Sorry to have you join this forum. However, you will find much support and you have already rec'd good advice.

I found that during the period prior to my partner being charged that we continually analysed everything. I trawled though this forum trying to find answers to our big question of whether he was going to get charged. Unfortunately, don't think you'll find the answer.

You just have to try to be patient. The police/CPS do not seem to care about this typically long waiting process and the impact it has on us and our families.

Take Care and I hope you get good news soon.

[Abaddream]

I can't really add anything to ITJ's excellent advice except to say there might be a innocuous explanation for the early recall; for instance new evidence may have come to light which throws doubt on the girl's initial statement (or she may have changed her statement entirely!) and the police therefore wish to reinterview you.

EDIT to add that I've just re-read IJT's reply and see that she had already mentioned this possibility.....

NB you mentioned that the girl was 'young'; in order that members may give the correct advice could you clarify whether she is over 16.

Ive been called in for re-interview so not the worst news I was expecting but I am curious as to why they want to do it now instead of waiting a couple more weeks. But the sooner I find more out the better

She is around the same age as me. Early 20s

The thing is with this whole thing I am not concerned about myself. I know I haven't done anything wrong so whatever happens I dont care at the moment. I am just concerned about the harm it will have on my family. My mum will not be able to cope with this kind of thing and she will be distraught. Sometimes im so exhausted because not only do I have my own fear towards the situation I have everyone whos supporting me being worried for me and I dont feel its right.

If this has taught me one thing it is that some people can be so evil, and some people you have always called friends are nothing of the kind. But your family and loved ones are who that matters

[is there justice?]

It's good to know why you've been called in and it makes sense to have your solicitor with you. You know you haven't done anything wrong but the police will still try and incriminate you. However friendly they appear, they only have one aim.
I can see why you are worried about your family, especially your Mum, but they are probably saying the same thing about you. Mums are so very resilient where their children are concerned, just read a few threads on here and you will see. Her main frustration will be that she feels helpless to resolve it straight away.
Situations like this do sort out who your friends are quite quickly. We found we had strong support from unexpected sources and others have politely faded away but hey ho, no great loss though it was a bit hurtful. You are lucky to have family support as we are but some don't even have that. Make sure you don't bottle things up or they will worry even more and yes, they are going to be very protective of you now.
Try to go out to trusted friends at least and keep some normality going.
You sound very young to have such an awakening to how callous people can be but it's a learning curve. I'll add my granny's saying to your Dad's saying, she always said 'this too, shall pass' and it will.
Keep returning here as much as you need to, whenever you need to.

[breakmyheart]

bail

Ive been called in for re-interview so not the worst news I was expecting but I am curious as to why they want to do it now instead of waiting a couple more weeks. But the sooner I find more out the better

She is around the same age as me. Early 20s

The thing is with this whole thing I am not concerned about myself. I know I haven't done anything wrong so whatever happens I dont care at the moment. I am just concerned about the harm it will have on my family. My mum will not be able to cope with this kind of thing and she will be distraught. Sometimes im so exhausted because not only do I have my own fear towards the situation I have everyone whos supporting me being worried for me and I dont feel its right.

If this has taught me one thing it is that some people can be so evil, and some people you have always called friends are nothing of the kind. But your family and loved ones are who that matters

Sorry to hear the place you find yourself in.

It might be of some help that depending on the area location that you are summoned that the officers may have a co-operation policy to be a little informative prior to your attendance, Ask your sol to contact them , and might offer you some direction.

We all know the many fears and endless hours of worrying this creates , and never be alone to share that with the many understanding members hear that will support you through what ever.

Dad is so right and never lose sight, and their is always high hopes .

Take care and we are all for you,

Regards ,b,m,h

[IRB777]

Hi some good advice on here, i too am in the same place as yourself, i am on bail for the rape of my former partner,and am completely innocent. I know each day is an endless drag and emotionally draining for anyone. All you can do is fight. Find whatever evidence you can to free yourself of these accusations. Your emotions will be all over the place, you will feel angry , worried and victimised. You have the support of a good family by the sounds of it, be thankful of that they will help you through this. Use this terrible experience , tell yourself everyday "they will not beat me they will not win, this is my life and im taking it back". There is real evil in this world believe me i know. but if you stand up and fight and get through this you will be so proud of yourself, you will be stronger, stronger than the ******* that did this to you. They are weak and have damned thereselves forever. But you can transform into someone amazing tough, strong, resiliant. Dont worry too much your on the side of truth. This week i answer the pre charge bail ive been on for 6 months, if charged they can put my name in the local paper and call me rapist without even a trial, but **** em they can print what they like ill buy 50 papers and put em in the bathroom to wipe my arse on. Good Luck anyway I can tell your only young but stay tough you will get there in the end.

[can it get worse]

Thank you for returning to this forum to update us of your trial.

Your account of the trial is so real. It brings back awful memories of my partner's trial - especially the ordeal with the prosecution barrister.

It sounds like you conducted yourself very well and your innocence was clearly evident.
Well done for maintaining your strength and focus throughout this ordeal.

Best Wishes to you, your girlfriend and wider family and friends for their support. I hope you can all move on and put this behind you with minimal scars............

[Tony1]

Is she claiming force or intoxication?

Keep going mate