Petrified and confused

[sooty]

I cannot add much to this but just to say IGNORE sooty, who is just another typically sad internet troll.

Try to put it all into perspective and note everything that the FA has previously accused you of, you speak of a disagreement, this is your starting point. Stay strong together, your partner is having a bad time of it whether he will admit it or not, it wont be easy but try your best not to blame him (and hopefully he will do the same), the feeling of being pushed away is common, some of us blokes just arent very good at dealing with stuff.

I wish you all the very best.

No. Don't ignore Sooty!

There are times when one must be cruel to be kind. I too have been on the receiving end of umpteen malicious allegations so do know how it all feels and what is in store.

The lady and her husband have a relative who has joined forces with the powerful people. These are the police, the CPS, the Social Services and probably the family GP. Collectively, they are ganging-up to bury the accused one way or another.

There will be fabricated add-ons incorporated into statements all designed to persuade a Jury and a Judge if it all comes to that.

People who are the victims of all sorts of allegations should keep their mouths shut, stand their ground and make no comment, not even to social workers.

My advice to the lady and gentleman is to weather the storm howsoever they can. The very last thing that I would want to do is cause upset, confusion or anger. If I did then please accept my apology and I wish you well.

.

[RFLH]

then if you know how it feels to be on the end of malicious allegations - why do it to someone else? Nobody posted on your thread to say that you must have known what was on your computer and you're just saying that you didn't do it and are trying to put the blame on someone else did they?

If you can't say something nice or helpful - don't say anything at all.

[Casehardened]

People who are the victims of all sorts of allegations should keep their mouths shut, stand their ground and make no comment, *not even to social workers*.

This is erroneous or incomplete advice; it should be that if accused of an offence, make no comment about the accusation to the arresting officers during the arrest and booking in procedures (though there is no harm in an exchange of pleasantries; first impressions count and there is no need or point in getting the OIC's back up)

Do not consent to an interview without the presence of a solicitor; take the opportunity of a private discussion with the solicitor prior to the interview and take the solicitors advice as to whether to go no comment or respond to the questioning.

*I will make 'no comment' as to Sooty's advice regarding the advisability of not talking to social workers as I have no personal experience of this side of the equation and it is not advisable to offer advice to others on matters outside one's knowledge base (Sooty please take note of this)

[ScaredCouple]

Thank you everybody for the great advice. It is great to know that I have somewhere to come for support.
Dave, thank you! I know he is not dealing with all of this well and I'm trying so hard to support him and will continue to do so no matter how hard he pushes me away. I will not let this destroy us.
Frightened spouse, it is horrible, I'm having a relatively good day today but 'd day' is creeping up on us now. I think it's the not knowing that is getting me down. My husband just wants to know either way do we have to put a case together or buy a house 200 miles away! Unfortunately I keep getting my hopes up just to bring myself back to earth and I'm convinced that I will jinx it if I look on the good side. Our original social worker screwed up so drastically for us, they sent paperwork that had our children's medical histories in it plus the details of the allegations against up plus all names of those involved to a different number down our road. The bloke opened it and read enough to 1. Call ss and put a complaint in and 2. Call the police to complain too. I shall be writing down everything I can think off. We don't have access to her Facebook, I blocked her straight away and she un friended my husband a few days before our bail was extended. Something I find very strange as she has been using her Facebook since we were arrested yet kept her supposed rapist as a friend?!
Myhome, thank you, it does help knowing I'm not the only woman accused. Thank you. Do I contact specialist solicitors before our bail date or just pick one for if we are charged? We had a duty solicitor when we were arrested, I would never have an interview without one. Our social worker is really good, she has got info from the police - a lot more than the nothing our solicitors have done. This is how we know that all we are waiting for is the cps now. Thank you everyone for the continued support

[Boys don't cry]

Hello and welcome Scaredcouple.

I suggest you contact (or look for) a specialist solicitor just in case but they won't be able to help unless you are charged.
Some of the members have been wise to do it or to change as their provided duty solicitors were unreliable.
Try to know the CV of yours as well as he might be fine (mine in my area was).

Regarding your husband,I understand his feelings but do not condone his behaviour, everyone react differently to this situation.
You need to work together for your defence because together you will be stronger.

You have been given excellent advice so far and need to remember chronologically the development of this situation resulting in a complaint against you.
I am sorry for your children and family but I am sure you will both fight your innocence for them and will get out with pride.

[myhome]

can you go back down your FB walls and screenshot any communications from her? or any other social media stuff? if you can, store these electronically where the police cannot get it if they seize your electronic devices.

It will be useful if you start researching specialist solicitors now. It can be time consuming but it possibly the singular most important thing you can do. if you get it wrong (and some of our members have) then you won't get a decent defence and could end up being found guilty if it goes to court. Also, if (when) you get charged, you will find reading the lies told about you both very upsetting and it may be a while before you can think clearly. You will have a lot to do going through the "evidence" and won't be able to concentrate on this properly if you are also researching specialist solicitors. Similarly, you won't be able to concentrate on a solicitor search thoroughly with the lies and allegations in your head.

At the moment you have time to do this. When you have chosen your solicitor that will be a weight off your mind and a job done and can forget about it until or if they are needed. The solicitor won't be able to help you unless you are charged but at least you will have met them and spoken to them and talked about who they will use for their barrister and you will be able to check them out too......... keep strong and support each other. Could your hubby register on here too???