PLEASE ADVISE! I'm innocent and baffled by ludicrous allegations

[INNOCENTman1]

Hi

I met this girl at work and we began texting each other quite a lot, flirting via text and sending pictures. She is like an assistant in another department. We met up for a walk one day and went back to hers for a cup of tea where we kissed. She wanted to meet up again two days later but i was busy. She suggested we meet up for dinner/drinks at the weekend and I agreed. She specifically said in the texts the word 'date.'

We had dinner at a restaurant and went to a bar and shared 2.5 bottles of wine between us (I had 2/3rds of it) over approx. 5 hours. She was constantly talking like she had some inferiority complex because she was an assistant and thought I had some high flying job. She was kissing me through the night/dancing suggestively (whilst I was sat down). We decided to leave and we walked to the taxi office (en route we kissed and in the taxi office we kissed). We got into the taxi and went back to hers. She paid for the cab (and even asked the driver for change back)

She told me her mum was (asleep) in the house. She took me upstairs to her bedroom. I didn't even know how to take her dress off! she took it off herself and we had consensual sex (nothing spectacular) and we fell asleep. I woke up at 6am and decided to leave and so got my clothes, said bye and left.

6/7 hours later police are at my door and say she is saying she woke up naked, she had no memory from the bar onwards and if anything happened it was without her consent. She said that the first time we met she specifically said that we were only friends and that is all and nothing would ever go further. She is lying! The texts show otherwise (e.g she texted; 'i have to keep you interested somehow'). I don't know what her motive is...was it her mum, did she regret it in the morning, did she want revenge for me leaving or that I would tell people at work?

I told the police everything that happened and in more detail

I cant believe this is happening. I have been arrested on bail. What is going to happen to me? Will they charge me? I literally feel the whole world crumbling around me...please help. I am an innocent man. Why is it so easy for a girl to make up a story?

[scaredwife]

Hi innocent

So sorry about your situation, there is a huge amount of knowledge and support here. Did you have a solicitor with you when interviewed?

First things is you need to write everything down that you remember about that night and previously, every detail no matter how insignificant it seems! You also need to find yourself a solicitor who specialises in these types of cases. If you could tell us your rough area (just county or nearest big city will do) and somebody may be able to suggest a suitable one.

Secondly make sure that any text messages, Facebook conversations etc are all backed up and stored safely AWAY from home - unfortunately the police are not your friends and are not there to help prove your innocence!

I'm sure others will be along shortly to help and advise, just try and be strong for now - we have all been through similar situations, either personally, or by supporting a friend or family member. Take care xx

[INNOCENTman1]

thanks scaredwife

i did have representation and have sought a solicitor since.

what do you think about the situation?

[edinguy]

Sorry to see you here my friend but we all know how you are feeling. I have been there and came through the other side.

Ok so looking at your story it's good you have had a solicitor in the interview so that means they won't have tripped you up with questioning the way they can if you are alone.

You say you have texts which is also good because this will be looked at. Another things is CCTV in the resteraunt and the taxi driver statement, these will show the girl kissing you and the Taxi driver can say if the girl appeared 'out of it' or normal.

There are lots of things in your story so far that make me think you have a good solid case here.

[edinguy]

Another thing to think of here is what you touched on "was it her mum"? ....Why did she make this up?

Well there are many reasons but if you went back to hers and her mother saw she had been drinking and had a man over she may have panicked and just made this all up...I have heard of this kind of think many times over my reading of cases in the past 2 years.

[INNOCENTman1]

Another thing to think of here is what you touched on "was it her mum"? ....Why did she make this up?

Well there are many reasons but if you went back to hers and her mother saw she had been drinking and had a man over she may have panicked and just made this all up...I have heard of this kind of think many times over my reading of cases in the past 2 years.

thanks edin guy

do you think there is enough there for them to charge me? i don't want to go through the turmoil of a trial. what was your experience?

[edinguy]

thanks edin guy

do you think there is enough there for them to charge me? i don't want to go through the turmoil of a trial. what was your experience?

I'm from Scotland so I know it's not all the same process and what not but from what you have provided so far I think you have a fair chance of no charges but again I can't say for sure (I was charged on her statement alone and the fact I said we had sex).

The texts will be vital as will the restaurant cctv and taxi driver in a case like this. If these back up your version and show glaring holes in hers then you have a solid platform.

My experience was meeting a girl at a club and having consensual sex outside (not the brightest idea of my life). I went into my interview with no sol either as I didn't know what was going on. In the end I was charged and went to trial where I was found not guilty unanimously.

[INNOCENTman1]

it's horrendous going through this ordeal. to be accused of this heinous crime is just crippling.

i really do hope they don't charge me. it's not holes in her story, it's more the fact that she completely denying any memory of it from the bar onwards. the texts will show she is a liar, but i have read that people are charge with little or no evidence.

why were you charged?

[edinguy]

it's horrendous going through this ordeal. to be accused of this heinous crime is just crippling.

i really do hope they don't charge me. it's not holes in her story, it's more the fact that she completely denying any memory of it from the bar onwards. the texts will show she is a liar, but i have read that people are charge with little or no evidence.

why were you charged?

Well if she's claiming that and you have the texts, taxi driver ect then I can't see her story standing up in a court room.

Every case though is different but you have done everything you can thus far and that's good, it's sadly just a waiting game to hear what they will do next. (hopefully nothing)

I was charged as after we walked home and I left her at her door she phoned the police. I was interviewed then released but a report was sent to the procurator fiscal (Scotland) and was charged a year later.

I was charged on the basis I said the sex was consensual and she said it was not.

[scaredwife]

thanks scaredwife

i did have representation and have sought a solicitor since.

what do you think about the situation?

It's difficult to say, as somebody else has said, looks like you have a fairly solid case, hopefully there will be some CCTV evidence. The taxi driver is a good witness as he is impartial, since he didn't know either of you. However cases can and do go to trial on the accusers statement alone - my husbands did!

[INNOCENTman1]

It's difficult to say, as somebody else has said, looks like you have a fairly solid case, hopefully there will be some CCTV evidence. The taxi driver is a good witness as he is impartial, since he didn't know either of you. However cases can and do go to trial on the accusers statement alone - my husbands did!

Thanks scaredwife

Thats horrible to hear about your husband. But in this case, she has no memory of it (or any memory of the night from the bar onwards), so how can one go forward with that? i'm slightly confused

[is there justice?]

Sorry to see you here innocent man but welcome anyway.

You would have to be quite intoxicated to have no memory and with any drugs, surely there would still be traces in her blood the next day? Don't know if samples would be taken but if so it can rule out dae rape drugs though someone would have to be very stupid to do that at the person's home.

Be prepared for a wait, it often seems no decision is made for a while. It is a horrid situation and the shock is monstrous.

Hopefully you will find witnesses to support you. The texts are really helpful. As for why, well maybe it was due to her mum finding out, maybe she feels snubbed, maybe she expected a declaration of undying love. Maybe she's just an attention seeking crazy person.

Keep an eye on her fb account and screenshot anything of interest. It's amazing what comes up.

Best of luck

[INNOCENTman1]

Sorry to see you here innocent man but welcome anyway.

You would have to be quite intoxicated to have no memory and with any drugs, surely there would still be traces in her blood the next day? Don't know if samples would be taken but if so it can rule out dae rape drugs though someone would have to be very stupid to do that at the person's home.

Be prepared for a wait, it often seems no decision is made for a while. It is a horrid situation and the shock is monstrous.

Hopefully you will find witnesses to support you. The texts are really helpful. As for why, well maybe it was due to her mum finding out, maybe she feels snubbed, maybe she expected a declaration of undying love. Maybe she's just an attention seeking crazy person.

Keep an eye on her fb account and screenshot anything of interest. It's amazing what comes up.

Best of luck

thanks is there justice

exactly, i think you hit the nail on the head. trying to rape someone at their house with their mum there. like wtf?!!!

[frightened spouse]

thanks is there justice

exactly, i think you hit the nail on the head. trying to rape someone at their house with their mum there. like wtf?!!!

Hi Im1

Sorry you find yourself here, it is a horrible thing to be falsely accused and for the first month or so very shocking. The waiting for developments is very hard, the loss of control is awful.

I wrote everything down regarding contact we had with my husband's fa in the run up to her making the allegation. I'm really glad I did, as it is now proving invaluable as we approach trial nearly a year later. When it first happened I truly believed the police would fully investigate both sides, in many cases they don't, so it is best to protect yourself by preparing your defence and hopefully you will never need it.

Have you considered tracking down the taxi driver ? I know it's embarrassing but such an independent witness to the girl's behaviour and whether she was totally intoxicated as she states could prove invaluable. I would do it now so his recollection would be fresher than if left for some considerable time. Be prepared for this to take months rather than weeks, the police do not work quickly and have no empathy for those on bail left in limbo.

Best wishes

FS

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi IM - Welcome to the forum and sorry you find yourself on here. Alcohol and 'can't remember syndrome ring a very bitter bell with me. This could just blow away, but it might not, so without wishing to alarm you, I believe forewarned is forearmed.

Be prepared to be re-bailed several times and for it to be some time ( several months) before you know whether you're going to be charged or not.

One of the things the police will be waiting for now are the results from forensic tests. Presumably they will have taken a urine and blood test from the other person. Your BAC (blood alcohol concentration) should also have been tested. Were you given a blood test? If so how soon after your last had a drink was it?

If this is done soon enough, BAC can be traced back to a specific time eg the time sex took place giving an estimation of how drunk the person was at that time. This will indicate whether the person was in a fit state to consent at the time and whether it could be the cause of her memory loss. If both parties have been tested it will show whether you were equally pissed or not and deductions can be made from that.

If you weren't tested soon enough or not at all, it could be said that you weren't pissed but she was and this is something you MUST discuss with your solicitor when the tests come back.

Don't underestimate the deviousness of plod and make sure you have someone ace defending you.

This is a useful link - there are others .... a definitive BAC is actually quite difficult to calculate as individual metabolisms differ and can be influenced by other issues, but it is used as a guide.

http://www.rupissed.com/ I suggest you use the calculator then look at 'Effects on the Body'

In the mean-time... try not to become obsessed with it all and live as normal life as possible including enjoying yourself.

Good-luck!