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Where to start? The saga takes an unexpected turn..

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  • #46
    I would actively encourage the appeals.

    Never give up. I know that it merely adds to the stress but it could bear fruit.

    I'm sorry it never went your way. I am actually genuinely flabberghasted that the appeal was not successful!

    I'd take time out this weekend and attempt to cheer yourselves up but come next week sit down and discuss all that has happened. Get back in touch with legal eagle and get a genuine opinion after he's had time to turn it over in his head also.

    Wow... A signature option!

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    • #47
      If you do intend to appeal and hubby undertakes Community Group SOP this could well negate any attempt to appeal. If he does to such a course he needs to make it clear from the outset that he is doing this as a 'denier' (not 'in denial') and he must protest his innocence whenever the subject comes up during 'meetings'.

      You never know, fresh evidence could also crop up at a later stage should the accuser make another false allegation and the victim is found not guilty of it.
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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      • #48
        I think the way we feel, coupled with the very realistic opinion of Mark, hub is just going to let it settle.
        He has decided that he will be a 'denier' and will preface every response with a statement to that effect. He is more than capable of stubborn, passive denying.

        A conviction doesn't mean you are guilty of the charge but, in his case, guilty of not standing his ground on the day, something he bitterly regrets. In the end, the trial couldn't have been any worse nor could the outcome.

        I believe that one day there will be a huge backlash to all this and there may be a chance, even after sentence is served, to clear his name.

        Meanwhile I will still be around and if I can ever help one person to avoid the same mistakes, it will be worthwhile. Family and friends have been amazing and for anyone who has a problem with it, I really don't give two figs what they think. Not caring what others think is a great side effect of getting older!

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        • #49
          That's a great attitude you have there hon!
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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          • #50
            Hey,

            If that's what you guys are thinking then go with it.

            You're 100% correct regarding 'convictions'. The state hands them out for all kinds of things and the general belief in their meaning is some what misguided. A conviction doesn't make you guilty of anything, hell you might even have been in a different country at the time of whatever it is that the conviction is to do with...

            Implied guilt is different from real guilt.

            I suppose the worst type of conviction is one handed down by a jury as they're a reflection of societies views on the alleged offending however even then there need not be the slightest piece of actual guilt. The Government might call you guilty but it may just be that your legal team was pants, the evidence was incorrect, the wind was blowing from the east, the temperature in the courtroom was too high, a celebrity got kicked out of the jungle or something............

            Only the accused and accuser know if there is any guilt and also to what level. Witnesses would also know what they had 'seen' but not necessarily the reasoning.

            It can actually get that bad that you go looking for hints that you are guilty. Anything at all in your entire life that in some way justifies what has been alleged and happened as a result of the allegation(s). I picked my entire life to pieces and tried to find where it all went wrong, I can see plenty of things that weren't as good as they should have been but nothing that was in anyway truly bad. It's then that you attempt to make things that are good into signs of bad... Then everything is bad and depression takes over...........

            You guys look as if you're going to put it behind you, get on with things and enjoy life.

            Wow... A signature option!

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            • #51
              I agree with your words LL1

              A strange sort of peace has taken hold this weekend since returning home. Sure there are moments of tears generally sparked by family and friends' kindness but we are relaxed, something that I haven't felt for a long time.

              We aren't forgetting about it though and hopefully we still have many years left to clear hub's name starting with the polygraph. I feel we must have something very definite before trying to get an appeal whether that be through media or due process and the time must be right.

              I've been reading about the offenders' programme and personally I'd tell them to stick it but hub is a different person to me and would find the alternative very hard. He can always change his mind by dropping out, maybe over winter!

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              • #52
                I forgot to add, I'm sorry, that through all this, the only thing that has given me strength is the unconditional belief of everyone on here, coupled with good advice and sharing of experiences.

                It hasn't gone well for everyone and sadly some supportive members are now absent, hopefully not for too long but there have been plenty of bananas.

                We've had to sell our business and move away so we are virtually retired with just a summer season venture now but life is great when we are walking our puppy along a 4 mile sandy beach just 5 minutes from home. Our previous life was pressured and hectic and my blood pressure was a real problem even with meds.

                Now with a better lifestyle, I am much healthier with time to cook and exercise and enjoy the simple things in life. Who knows why things happen?

                Through all this though, this forum has been my lifeline, my chance to escape and vent my feelings and concerns. Every time, there has been a response or three from the wonderful members here so thank you, thank you, thank you

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by is there justice? View Post
                  I forgot to add, I'm sorry, that through all this, the only thing that has given me strength is the unconditional belief of everyone on here, coupled with good advice and sharing of experiences.

                  It hasn't gone well for everyone and sadly some supportive members are now absent, hopefully not for too long but there have been plenty of bananas.

                  We've had to sell our business and move away so we are virtually retired with just a summer season venture now but life is great when we are walking our puppy along a 4 mile sandy beach just 5 minutes from home. Our previous life was pressured and hectic and my blood pressure was a real problem even with meds.

                  Now with a better lifestyle, I am much healthier with time to cook and exercise and enjoy the simple things in life. Who knows why things happen?

                  Through all this though, this forum has been my lifeline, my chance to escape and vent my feelings and concerns. Every time, there has been a response or three from the wonderful members here so thank you, thank you, thank you
                  Hell... That sounds like and amazing turnaround. Maybe it all happened to save yourselves from yourselves!

                  Continuing the stress and worry would seem pointless with all that you guys have. I wouldn't jeopardize it and can understand why your partner has done what he's done and you've supported him through it. I still feel angry about the legal rep doing what they've done, shocking and I would potentially consider putting in a complaint about them, at least.

                  4 mile walk sounds amazing! Very jealous. I have sand out my back door but it's of the building variety...
                  Wow... A signature option!

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                  • #54
                    Hi ITJ - you have certainly had to make some major changes to your lives which you may not necessarily have made in different circumstances. Some people believe that, "Everything happens for a reason..." and I used to; however the changes that we on her have been forced to make can never be worth the trauma that we have all gone through to get to that change - if you see what I mean... I hope that you can continue to draw strength from each other and the challenges that you are now making to 'the system.'
                    Through everything of your own you have always continued to be a great support to many on here
                    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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