Confused and Scared

[ScottishScared]

Hi All, I have been reading many of these threads in the last week since I was questioned regarding a false allegation made against me but thought it was time to share my story, hopefully some of you guys will have some answers to the many things that keep going on in my head.

I received a message to contact a police officer and when I called I was told that they wanted to speak to me about an allegation that had been made against me. Naturally I went along and that was where my hell started:

I was arrested and thrown into a cell with no idea what I was accused of. After a couple of hours I was interviewed and told that a girl had recently reported that I had raped her some 4 years previous :S

The girl was someone I was dating at the time and hadn't heard a peep from her in all that time and I certainly never had non-consensual sex with her. Confused and having nothing to hide I answered all the questions as best I could without seeing the need for a lawyer present. I later learned that had I stayed silent in the interview I would most likely be in the clear as the case is in Scotland where there is a requirement for corroborative (2 sources) of evidence for anything to go to court. I had a brief understanding of this as it has been in the newspapers that there is some talk of changing the requirement. I am a little confused as to how my statement can corroborate hers as mine is what actually happened and in stark contrast to hers?! I suppose in some way I am happy as I want this to go away for good and have my name cleared rather than worrying that it may crop up sometime in the future again.

So her story is that I raped her in a public place after we had spend the day out together having a few drinks (we weren't particularly drunk, I'm not sure what her story says with regards that). In actual fact she suggested the public place and although we fooled around a bit we didn't actually have sex largely due to the many people in the vicinity (why didn't she call out to them if she was being raped???). After deciding that the public place want ideal we went back to my flat, catching a bus from opposite a large police station to my flat about 40mins journey away. Her story is that I raped her again back at my flat. I have no idea what excuse she gives for coming back to there if I had already raped her as she suggested (am I entitled to ask that at this stage?). I drove her home in the morning where all seemed well and I expected we would continue dating. The texts that followed implied that we would go out again but after a couple of weeks she stopped replying (can the police obtain the contents of text messages that old? that would certainly be helpful to me if they can!). I was disappointed but moved on thinking she had lost interest. Then 4 years later this nonsense, why????

So I was released without charge pending further investigation. I understand the police now file a report to the Procurator Fiscal and they decide whether court action is to proceed. Does anyone know the probability of this given her unlikely story? Or what happens when they do (will I be arrested again? or given a date to appear in court?). I understand they don't inform me if they decide to drop the case, but I am entitled to ask if I can get the police reference number?) Can anyone confirm this? I understand it can take many months?

I have not yet told my girlfriend as she is going through a bit of a hard time at the moment, I'd much rather tell her once it's all over but couldn't live with myself not telling her if it drags on for ages She will also start to question why I have a constant state of worry and am struggling to eat

Why is the girl doing this? Is she trying to gain financially? Does she just resent me for some other reason? Why now?

I have tried not to think about court because I really hope she sees sense and drops this lie long before this, surely no jury would convict based on her farcical story? Doesn't bear thinking about. I feel if it goes to court I just cant win, even a unanimous acquittal will affect my family hugely

thanks for reading,

Confused and Scared

[myhome]

Hi and welcome to the forum but so sorry you had to find us and to read yet another case of historical allegations.

lawlessone is our resident expert on the Scottish law side of your questions and no doubt will be along shortly to answer your questions, though it may be difficult to answer the "will this get thrown out" ones.....

With regard to "why has she done this now?" - the only person who really knows this is her. We can only speculate but a financial compensation is very attractive to many.

As far as telling your girlfriend goes, only you can decide that, there are arguments to both sides. I feel though, that as your behaviour has changed already, she will have already noticed and will be wondering what is wrong (us girlies are very intuitive) and will begin speculating - has he found someone else? has he had an affair? is he seriously ill? is he in debt/gambling/drink problem etc etc etc. "Gaps in knowledge are filled by assumptions." She will be anxious and hurting because she doesn't know what's wrong and she doesn't know how to help and will quite possibly be blaming herself. The longer you don't tell her the more distressed she will become and the more difficult it will be to tell her. If, during this time she finds out from someone else, she is going to be very hurt indeed that you didn't feel you could confide in her. She may also think that you haven't told her because you are guilty. She may think if you had nothing to hide, why didn't you tell her?

If you do tell her now, you may probably find that she is a great source of support and help to you and that you are no longer facing this alone.
A secret as deep as this is a very difficult one to live with without showing any physical signs and symptoms; it is difficult enough to live with, let alone trying to hide it from everyone.

As for support for you, apart from us, I would suggest confiding in your GP - many of us have found them to be a great support both inn terms of medication and referring on to qualified therapists

keep strong keep posting and we'll help all we can MH

[ScottishScared]

Thanks MH, it does bring a fair bit of comfort to know there is support out there. Yes I agree with your thoughts re-girlfriend. I think I shall call the police this week to find out if indeed they have sent report to PF. I live in hope that the girl will withdraw the allegation, but i can't decide what her motivation was in the first place- if it is spite or financial there is probably little chance of that, but was she drunker than I thought and can't remember exactly what happened and has filled the blanks with this (i.e. does she genuinely believe she was raped), perhaps the specifics in my statement will jog her memory but I guess that is wishful thinking. I have read a fair bit about attrition in rape cases so hopefully either a correction by her or the PF will save me from the ordeal of court. Oh yeah telling the GF- I think I will do this after I find out what the police are doing- assuming she hasn't dropped it and the report is sent to PF that would seem like a sensible time to tell her as there will be a long wait involved.

Oh does anyone know what kind of publicity a case like this might attract should it go to court?

[tigertiger]

Thanks MH, it does bring a fair bit of comfort to know there is support out there. Yes I agree with your thoughts re-girlfriend. I think I shall call the police this week to find out if indeed they have sent report to PF. I live in hope that the girl will withdraw the allegation, but i can't decide what her motivation was in the first place- if it is spite or financial there is probably little chance of that, but was she drunker than I thought and can't remember exactly what happened and has filled the blanks with this (i.e. does she genuinely believe she was raped), perhaps the specifics in my statement will jog her memory but I guess that is wishful thinking. I have read a fair bit about attrition in rape cases so hopefully either a correction by her or the PF will save me from the ordeal of court. Oh yeah telling the GF- I think I will do this after I find out what the police are doing- assuming she hasn't dropped it and the report is sent to PF that would seem like a sensible time to tell her as there will be a long wait involved.

Oh does anyone know what kind of publicity a case like this might attract should it go to court?

Try not to beat your self up too much over the fact you spoke to police. Its a sad fact the average person has no clue about the police interview process in these cases and only really find out as you have after what would have been best to do.

In terms of publicity I know its easy to say but really put that at the back of your mind and ignore the papers, I know most of us will live in fear of being painted as a monster by the media but really just dont think about it or your going to make your self ill with worry.

Text messages they are not going to be able to get years old texts from phone networks as far as I'm aware they dont keep text back ups for long due to the amount of data it would take to store. There may still be records of phone calls made and text messages made but not the actual contents. The easiest way they obtain them is from forensics from the actual phone. Id imagine that phone has since been lost / sold ? If you still have the phone it its possible the messages could be recovered but really to have a chance of doing that the messages would need to be not over written too many times by new messages if they were deleted. If they were over written many times recovery of the messages would be very dificult / impossible.

Get some food down you, becoming a bag of bones is no use to you or anyone. If you cant stomach huge amounts of food get eating high fat / callorie things to make up for the shortfall. I lost stupid amounts of weight and really it did me no favours.

Im not going to lie and say all the things you fear and worry over is probably is going through / has gone through everyones mind who comes here but your not alone here. You will find many going through this unfair ordeal.

Up to you if you tell your gf but I at least think you should confide in someone you trust to just get things off your mind. Or / and as MH said your GP for help / talking therapist to get things out.

[tiger mum]

Hi Confused and Scared - so sorry you find yourself on here. My son who was 14 at the time tried to bottle up his anxiety he felt regarding false accusations a girl at his school was making about him. It was so difficult for him to explain what was going on to his mum, but when he had he was able to sleep and eat again and he knew that I loved him unconditionally and he was not in this alone. Since that horrible morning 10 weeks ago I understand a lot more, but I was totally blindsided by his explanation of what was troubling him.

I know you must be scared about your girlfriend's reaction - that's understandable as you love her and you don't want to cause her worry. My big brother had died 3 weeks before this rape allegation nightmare started and my son felt the same. Didn't want to make a hard time worse for me. However, what pains me more than everything which has happened before or since is the thought of him in distress alone and confused. In my experience the male need to protect their loved ones can take over and make things worse. I totally agree with the advice already given, just tell her.

Expect her to be confused, maybe angry at first as she will be stressed and will be struggling to process. Also girls aren't great at hearing about our men's previous partners - in any context! But tell her when you have time to be together afterwards rather than rushing off to work etc. Even if she gets cross don't leave her - just go in another room and let her have a little melt down and be there when she gets over it. I'm sure she will get over the shock and you guys will probably come out of this stronger - I know the respect and love my son and I have for each other has deepened in the face of this adversity. However the relationship he has with his dad has taken a downturn - so if the relationship crashes and burns maybe there are cracks already.......

You're being brave by not telling her, but you need to be braver and share. Don't forget - you're innocent - this happening to you is as random as developing a cancer or someone injuring you by driving into your car! **** happens - sometimes it happens to us. Some problems are bigger than others to solve but when it comes down to it that all life's about - you're born, you solve loads of problems and survive/succeed the challenges life chucks at you then you die. Whatever other problems you guys are facing, this is the one which is priority now. Good luck x

[didithappen]

sorry to hear of your experience

I am so sorry to hear of your experience. All today I have been thinking about the issue of rape and false allegations, it makes me angry that after 4 years this girl makes this accusation against you. The only advice is Keep your strength up. Do not falter, for if you do then you allow her to win. Further, with each false rape allegation that occurs ensures that the police do not have time to catch real rapists, so think on that when you move forward. This is your chance to show others that false allegations have repercussions for all of us in this society, family, friends, communities and the resources within.

If any of your questions are still not answered I would suggest simply paying out a little bit of money and seeing if you can get some legal advice as to what may or may not happen.

All the best.





QUOTE=ScottishScared;46357]Hi All, I have been reading many of these threads in the last week since I was questioned regarding a false allegation made against me but thought it was time to share my story, hopefully some of you guys will have some answers to the many things that keep going on in my head.

I received a message to contact a police officer and when I called I was told that they wanted to speak to me about an allegation that had been made against me. Naturally I went along and that was where my hell started:

I was arrested and thrown into a cell with no idea what I was accused of. After a couple of hours I was interviewed and told that a girl had recently reported that I had raped her some 4 years previous :S

The girl was someone I was dating at the time and hadn't heard a peep from her in all that time and I certainly never had non-consensual sex with her. Confused and having nothing to hide I answered all the questions as best I could without seeing the need for a lawyer present. I later learned that had I stayed silent in the interview I would most likely be in the clear as the case is in Scotland where there is a requirement for corroborative (2 sources) of evidence for anything to go to court. I had a brief understanding of this as it has been in the newspapers that there is some talk of changing the requirement. I am a little confused as to how my statement can corroborate hers as mine is what actually happened and in stark contrast to hers?! I suppose in some way I am happy as I want this to go away for good and have my name cleared rather than worrying that it may crop up sometime in the future again.

So her story is that I raped her in a public place after we had spend the day out together having a few drinks (we weren't particularly drunk, I'm not sure what her story says with regards that). In actual fact she suggested the public place and although we fooled around a bit we didn't actually have sex largely due to the many people in the vicinity (why didn't she call out to them if she was being raped???). After deciding that the public place want ideal we went back to my flat, catching a bus from opposite a large police station to my flat about 40mins journey away. Her story is that I raped her again back at my flat. I have no idea what excuse she gives for coming back to there if I had already raped her as she suggested (am I entitled to ask that at this stage?). I drove her home in the morning where all seemed well and I expected we would continue dating. The texts that followed implied that we would go out again but after a couple of weeks she stopped replying (can the police obtain the contents of text messages that old? that would certainly be helpful to me if they can!). I was disappointed but moved on thinking she had lost interest. Then 4 years later this nonsense, why????

So I was released without charge pending further investigation. I understand the police now file a report to the Procurator Fiscal and they decide whether court action is to proceed. Does anyone know the probability of this given her unlikely story? Or what happens when they do (will I be arrested again? or given a date to appear in court?). I understand they don't inform me if they decide to drop the case, but I am entitled to ask if I can get the police reference number?) Can anyone confirm this? I understand it can take many months?

I have not yet told my girlfriend as she is going through a bit of a hard time at the moment, I'd much rather tell her once it's all over but couldn't live with myself not telling her if it drags on for ages She will also start to question why I have a constant state of worry and am struggling to eat

Why is the girl doing this? Is she trying to gain financially? Does she just resent me for some other reason? Why now?

I have tried not to think about court because I really hope she sees sense and drops this lie long before this, surely no jury would convict based on her farcical story? Doesn't bear thinking about. I feel if it goes to court I just cant win, even a unanimous acquittal will affect my family hugely

thanks for reading,

Confused and Scared[/QUOTE]

[ScottishScared]

Another question if anyone knows the Scottish system:

I was released without charge after being questioned by the police, I wasn't asked to sign a bail undertaking (I'm pretty sure I wasn't- it was a bit of a blur). I called the police to ask them if they would clarify the process- I was expecting they would file a report to PF but was told that wouldn't happen as I hadn't been charged with anything at this stage. They said they were investigating further.

I asked them if there wasn't enough evidence to charge me and they confirmed that this was the case (reluctantly). Given that they already had the girl's false statement I can't really see what other evidence could come to light. I asked them if they were waiting to see if anyone else complained about me and they said that was one example of what further evidence that could come to light. I am obviously sure that this will not happen so does this mean that I am in the clear? Although they keep the complaint open in case something else happens in the future?

I asked if the girl had perhaps withdrawn the complaint (my big hope was that would happen when she heard the true version of events from my statement) but they said that wasn't possible to retract (I presume they mean unless she admits that it was made up).

I didn't feel the police were too hard on me at the time and I got a bit of a feeling that perhaps her statement was vague and/or inconsistent. So perhaps its just parked for now? (or is that just wishful thinking?)

[Casehardened]

Another question if anyone knows the Scottish system:

Hi,

All I know of the Scottish legal is what I have gleaned from the forum so I hope that Lawlessone will confirm this when he next visits the forum, but I think you are correct in your views about the process.

In Scotland, unlike the UK, charging seems to be a normal part of the arrest procedure, so if you haven't been charged nothing is likely to happen.

As well as the corroboration issue (I'm not sure if this still applies!) they will have run your DNA through the system to check if there are any matches in cold cases, but I imagine that if any further such evidence turned up they would need to make a fresh arrest and then charge (as there is no current requirement for you to return to the police station?)

Lawlessone did tell us that if nothing happens within a year the case is definitely dropped but this is a long time for you to have it hanging over you.

[Kaz8671]

Welcome!

Hi All, I have been reading many of these threads in the last week since I was questioned regarding a false allegation made against me but thought it was time to share my story, hopefully some of you guys will have some answers to the many things that keep going on in my head.

I received a message to contact a police officer and when I called I was told that they wanted to speak to me about an allegation that had been made against me. Naturally I went along and that was where my hell started:

I was arrested and thrown into a cell with no idea what I was accused of. After a couple of hours I was interviewed and told that a girl had recently reported that I had raped her some 4 years previous :S

The girl was someone I was dating at the time and hadn't heard a peep from her in all that time and I certainly never had non-consensual sex with her. Confused and having nothing to hide I answered all the questions as best I could without seeing the need for a lawyer present. I later learned that had I stayed silent in the interview I would most likely be in the clear as the case is in Scotland where there is a requirement for corroborative (2 sources) of evidence for anything to go to court. I had a brief understanding of this as it has been in the newspapers that there is some talk of changing the requirement. I am a little confused as to how my statement can corroborate hers as mine is what actually happened and in stark contrast to hers?! I suppose in some way I am happy as I want this to go away for good and have my name cleared rather than worrying that it may crop up sometime in the future again.

So her story is that I raped her in a public place after we had spend the day out together having a few drinks (we weren't particularly drunk, I'm not sure what her story says with regards that). In actual fact she suggested the public place and although we fooled around a bit we didn't actually have sex largely due to the many people in the vicinity (why didn't she call out to them if she was being raped???). After deciding that the public place want ideal we went back to my flat, catching a bus from opposite a large police station to my flat about 40mins journey away. Her story is that I raped her again back at my flat. I have no idea what excuse she gives for coming back to there if I had already raped her as she suggested (am I entitled to ask that at this stage?). I drove her home in the morning where all seemed well and I expected we would continue dating. The texts that followed implied that we would go out again but after a couple of weeks she stopped replying (can the police obtain the contents of text messages that old? that would certainly be helpful to me if they can!). I was disappointed but moved on thinking she had lost interest. Then 4 years later this nonsense, why????

So I was released without charge pending further investigation. I understand the police now file a report to the Procurator Fiscal and they decide whether court action is to proceed. Does anyone know the probability of this given her unlikely story? Or what happens when they do (will I be arrested again? or given a date to appear in court?). I understand they don't inform me if they decide to drop the case, but I am entitled to ask if I can get the police reference number?) Can anyone confirm this? I understand it can take many months?

I have not yet told my girlfriend as she is going through a bit of a hard time at the moment, I'd much rather tell her once it's all over but couldn't live with myself not telling her if it drags on for ages She will also start to question why I have a constant state of worry and am struggling to eat

Why is the girl doing this? Is she trying to gain financially? Does she just resent me for some other reason? Why now?

I have tried not to think about court because I really hope she sees sense and drops this lie long before this, surely no jury would convict based on her farcical story? Doesn't bear thinking about. I feel if it goes to court I just cant win, even a unanimous acquittal will affect my family hugely

thanks for reading,

Confused and Scared

Sorry too see yet another story make an appearance on here! Fortunately as yet you haven't been charged - do not be fooled into thinking that the police are your friend or that a charge may not transpire in the near future!! I would suggest that you sit your girlfriend down and tell her the truth about all of this sooner rather than later because if the police are carrying out further investigations and you are charged they will ask her to make a statement ( she can refuse that is her right!!) Do not assume that all of this might just disappear. In Scotland any allegations of a sexual nature are investigated to the full extent of the law!

[ScottishScared]

Hi All. Thanks for your comments and help so far! Yes, I am not being too positive at the moment I know a charge may well follow. I suspect they may be working on a story to try to corroborate the the consent part of her lies by finding people who will say how distressed she was at the time (all those years ago). I would hope this would be as credible as the rest of her tale which sounds pretty nonsense to me (hopefully PF will share my view on the glaring inconsistencies if they get a report in the future). Oh I do believe the corroboration requirement exists in Scotland at the moment although there is debate about changing it. I understand it cant affect retrospectively but not sure how that would work with an open investigation.

Aside from that I can be confident that no other evidence would incriminate me. I wasn't asked for DNA or fingerprints when I spoke to the police so that doesn't appear to be part of their investigation. And I wasn't given a date to turn up again. From some research looks like it was a section 14 detainment when they spoke to me rather than an arrest/charge.

Biggest positive I've had so far has been the support from my girlfriend since I told her, that has given me a huge lift