Falsely accused, to get even! :(

[panda]

I have been falslely accused off rape, and after around 18 hour in custody, and all the procedural stuff, i was bailed out to a friends house, since I am only a tourist visiting UK.

I am going through hell, at the moment.

I had been in contact with this girl from Aberdeen, who I met online. We became facebook friends, and spoke a lot on whatsapp. We also spoke a lot of sexual stuff, and she even indirectly agreed to sex. She also did sent me a nude photo of herself, with her face showing clearly.

After couple of weeks of chatting, she agreed to fly down to London, for just 1 night, and "go wild" (in her own words), if I booked her flight tickets, which I did.
When she got here, I picked her from the airport, and she moved into my room. She changed, we had couple of drinks, and she took some MDMA before we left to a club. Things were definitely very flirty, and she even removed her panties and stockings for me, at the club, since this was a previously discussed kink. She even let me finger her, and fool around a bit, at the club.

When the club shut at 3, we wanted to head to an afterparty club, which opened at 3.30, but since the afterparty club doesnt pick up till after 4, we came to my room, had CONSENTUAL sex, and then, went to the 2nd club. During sex, she is the one who opened the condom, and put it on, with her mouth (in her statement, she seems to claim she dint blow me.). After putting on the condom, she gave me a blowjob for a while, and then, turned around onto her stomach, and we had penetrative sex, me entering from behind.. We finished up quick and left to the after party club.

At the second club, we had an altercation about another girl (who seemed shady, and mostly a hooker) who she had befriended, and I believe she even took some cocaine with her. I got fed up off her drama there, and I left back to my room, at about 5.30, and did not pick her calls after. We exchanged several messages, some off them not very pleasant.

At about 6.30, when the club shut, she sent me a message saying, "i am coming to your hotel. i am walking becuse I have no money. What is your address?". I refused to entertain her. While I was back, I also saw some documents which seemed to show that she was a hooker, or wanting to become a hooker, and thats the reason she was so friendly with the other girl, who, in all probability was a hooker. She then left the club with another guy, who was probably hooked up with her, by the other girl. Before I fell asleep, she sent me another text at about 7 saying "I am going to stay with family at old street. see you tomorrow.". This was again probably a lie, and she was probably with some other guy. I am not sure.

Then, at around 12, she came to my room, and I dint open it because I was sleeping. She went to the hotel manager (who she told that she had an altercation with me. and that she needed to collect her bag to catch her flight.) and came along with him, to wake me up and take back her luggage. She was very cold and rude when she came.

After she left with her luggage, I felt really bad and felt used at her behaviour, and went ahead and cancelled her flight. When she was turned away from her flight, she went to gatwick police station, and alleged rape against me, and she says I drugged her, and raped her, altho she kept saying no! she says she was not in her sense when we were at the first club, and when we came to my room for sex, and she fought with me, at the 2nd club because she came to her senses by then. She was broke and barely had 10quid on her (which she had told me herself. this is why I took the train to gatwick to bring her down.), which means she was probably stranded at the airport with nowhere to go and no money. Reason to be pissed, YES! Reason to cry rape, NO! I still cant believe she could stoop so low, as to cry rape, over this.

I am out on bail and am scheduled to present myself on Feb 5th. This has been very traumatic for me, and unbelievably stressful.

I have done no wrong, but I dont know how to prove all this. Forensics should be able to disprove her story partly (they found her glass, and wouldnt find any drugs in it), and CCTV footage from club and hotel should prove that she was normal and not 'drugged" beyond her senses. Also, she put on the condom herself, so forensics should be able to find her finger prints on it. Then there is the sexting and nude pic she sent me, and the fact that she flew down to london EXCLUSIVELY to spend 1 night with me, to "go wild" and "do crazy things"! Altho I am into rough sex & bdsm occassionaly (again discussed on whtsapp with her), fortunately we had just vanilla/tender sex, since thats what she wanted, it being the first time. So, no marks or anything off that sort stuff on her. (Forensics even confiscated many of my sex/bondage toys, but none of them were used on her. She probably dint even know they were there.). Also, she has most probably taken cocaine too, at the 2nd club, so will that go to prove that she is a recreational user of drugs, and that the MDMA she took was probably on her own, and not spiked by me, as she claims.


1. Based on these facts, can anyone experienced with such cases, tell me what are the chances that CPS will press charges?

2. And if charges are pressed, will these above points, help me in court?

3. If charges are pressed, will I still be out on bail, or do I get remanded to custody?

4. Also, I dont think she is crazy enough to proceed with this case, since she probably did it to get even, in a fit of rage. So, when do the investigating officers decided whether to press charges, and when do they ask her if she wishes to proceed?

5. Since it involved drugs AND rape, my duty solicitor advised me to go with a "no comments" interview, and thats all I did. Should I stick to this, or give a prepared statement before the due date of 5th Feb?

6. In your opinion, who are some good lawyers who I could discuss my case with? The ones who have experience in such cases?

Any advice will be appreciated.

Regards,
The Real Victim!

[panda]

Sexting helps to show consent?

Does sexting prior to the sexual encounter, prove consent, to some extent?

[grababadger]

It does not prove that 'rape' did not happen, but obviously it will coo berate your story and show that there was an intent on her behalf to have sex with you. Alot will depend on what she has told the police, for example if she has told them that she didn't know you etc, then obviously you can disprove that from the texts etc.

If I were you I would be making sure you get proof of the cancelled flights, If she has made the allegation after being told her flight was cancelled then it look's more suspicious. On the surface, it looks like you had a drug fueled sexy night which has turned sour for the reasons you stated. The final straw was you cancelling the flight, for which maybe she felt used and angry-hence the allegation. However innocent you are, I would now start case building so you can put as much doubt over her story as possible.

For example, would you really cancel the flight of someone you had raped? I would think you would want do everything in your power not to piss her off if a rape had took place. Maybe, ask the hotel how long they keep their CCTV so you can collect evidence yourself. Seeing you both walking into the hotel together etc, seeing her walking back to collect her bag. On that point, would she really come back for her bag if she had been raped, these are the kind of questions that you need to write down.

I'm second guessing here, but the chances are she has told the police she was drug raped. But considering she went to the police station the next day they may have asked for a urine sample-which would only show up MDMA if anything at all. Even, is she had been spiked there is no way of proving it was you that spiked her. Plus, if she had been sending messages of a sexual nature, would you need to spike her? probably not.

Anyway, you seem switched on enough to start finding fault with her story. You have a very short bail date....maybe that is a good sign.

If you want to talk some more let me know, I am going through a similar hell!!

[tiger mum]

Jeez what a nightmare. I have the number of a VERY GOOD lawyer in London who is helping me defend my 14 year old son. I don't think he will do legal aid work but I think you need a specialist firm who take on rape defences as a matter of course. He will ask for a down payment before defending you but he took us on with no notice and jumped on a train. Really nice guy who instantly built a rapport with a scared 14 year old lad. Do you want their details?

[RFLH]

<wanders in wondering what happened to old fashioned dating>

Sometimes I think that people bring all this onto themselves - you paid for her to have sex with her by paying for her flight - you didn't get what you expected to get and out of spite you cancelled her flight home. I'm not saying that in anyway it was right what she did by accusing you, but I hope you've learned from this - you get what you pay for.

Be prepared for the bail to be renewed, possibly for many months - be prepared for other charges that could be put against you. If there seems to be a flimsy case then they will throw everything at you to secure a conviction.

I suggest you get a decent legal team.

[panda]

It does not prove that 'rape' did not happen, but obviously it will coo berate your story and show that there was an intent on her behalf to have sex with you. Alot will depend on what she has told the police, for example if she has told them that she didn't know you etc, then obviously you can disprove that from the texts etc.

If I were you I would be making sure you get proof of the cancelled flights, If she has made the allegation after being told her flight was cancelled then it look's more suspicious. On the surface, it looks like you had a drug fueled sexy night which has turned sour for the reasons you stated. The final straw was you cancelling the flight, for which maybe she felt used and angry-hence the allegation. However innocent you are, I would now start case building so you can put as much doubt over her story as possible.

For example, would you really cancel the flight of someone you had raped? I would think you would want do everything in your power not to piss her off if a rape had took place. Maybe, ask the hotel how long they keep their CCTV so you can collect evidence yourself. Seeing you both walking into the hotel together etc, seeing her walking back to collect her bag. On that point, would she really come back for her bag if she had been raped, these are the kind of questions that you need to write down.

I'm second guessing here, but the chances are she has told the police she was drug raped. But considering she went to the police station the next day they may have asked for a urine sample-which would only show up MDMA if anything at all. Even, is she had been spiked there is no way of proving it was you that spiked her. Plus, if she had been sending messages of a sexual nature, would you need to spike her? probably not.

Anyway, you seem switched on enough to start finding fault with her story. You have a very short bail date....maybe that is a good sign.

If you want to talk some more let me know, I am going through a similar hell!!

Yes. CCTV footage at the hotel, and clubs, and even the airport check in counters have been retained. So, it should show that she was sober thro out, and not "out of her senses" and in a "everything-was-hazy" condition as she claims in her statement.

When she came back to collect her bag in the morning, she even spoke to the manager and said "i had an altercation with him and hes not opening the door, but I have a flight to catch and I would like to get it back ASAP."

Also, in the morning, I found a few sheets in a file she had left on my bed.. one of them - http://bit.ly/1dlcXHz
So, she was probably an escort already, or wanting to become an escort, which was why she was so interested in this other girl, who we argued about.
In our conversation prior to her visit, I had already told her, that am never comfortable with hookers, and etc. Thats the reason why I felt really used and cancelled her flight.

@RHLH.. I did have sex with her, so it wasnt about not getting what I wanted, and it was not only about the sex anyway. Besides, cancelling the ticket got me ZERO REFUND, since it was an easyjet flight. So, it wasnt about the money either. The only reason to cancel the flight was because of how used I felt, at her behaviour.

@tiger mum.. Yes. It would be great if you could pass on the contacts off the lawyer handling your case. I am considering multiple options and need to finalize on one. Though, am still not sure if I can pay privately since am only visiting UK and have limited resources here. I have not even informed my parents yet.

[myhome]

can't see what she did wrong to deserve to have her flight home cancelled especially as she told you she had no money. That was just a mean and nasty thing to do especially as you were probably never going to see each other again. IMO if you dabble in this kind of encounter then there is bound to be unpleasantness which you should have anticipated, but that does not excuse you leaving someone stranded hundreds of miles from home.
Similarly, crying rape if it wasn't, as retribution is inexcusable.
As has been said by others, get a good defence team and be prepared for a very rocky ride from the police and cps.

[whatsgoingon?]

My sentiments too. It's unfortunate that she's chosen this way to get back at you, but I think you gave her plenty of reasons to get annoyed. I also think that although yousay you're wary of hookers, in the present climate, perhaps that would be a more straight forward relashionship for men who want one night stands.

I just want to pick up on one of your questions:

4. Also, I dont think she is crazy enough to proceed with this case, since she probably did it to get even, in a fit of rage. So, when do the investigating officers decided whether to press charges, and when do they ask her if she wishes to proceed?

Once she has made a complaint the police have to investigate. The crime that she says she has been a victim of contravenes the law of the land and therefor becomes a crime against the Crown (the kingdom). They don't ask her if she wishes to proceed, they are not her private army. It's the Crown Prosecution Service that decides whether or not they will charge someone if they feel it's in the public interest and if they feel they have a 51 % chance of obtaining a conviction.

If she has lied and admits to it , she could be charged with making a false allegation or something similar.

[whatsgoingon?]

My sentiments too. It's unfortunate that she's chosen this way to get back at you, but I think you gave her plenty of reasons to get annoyed.

I'd just like to clarify my first sentence - It is understandable that she was really annoyed by your behaviour towards her but this in NO WAY justifies her making a false allegation against you.

[panda]

unbelievably depressed..

4. Also, I dont think she is crazy enough to proceed with this case, since she probably did it to get even, in a fit of rage. So, when do the investigating officers decided whether to press charges, and when do they ask her if she wishes to proceed?

Once she has made a complaint the police have to investigate. The crime that she says she has been a victim of contravenes the law of the land and therefor becomes a crime against the Crown (the kingdom). They don't ask her if she wishes to proceed, they are not her private army. It's the Crown Prosecution Service that decides whether or not they will charge someone if they feel it's in the public interest and if they feel they have a 51 % chance of obtaining a conviction.

@whatsgoingon.. I get that. But, without retracting her statement, she can still choose to not support the case in court, right? in that case, will CPS still want to take me to court?

Also, since there was no rape, there obviously is not going to be any evidence.
1. They found her drink in my room, and wouldnt find drugs in it.
2. They took CCTV footage from the 1st club, probably to check if I spiked her there. That also I dint do.
3. They took the condom cover which had her finger prints on it. She put on the condom herself, with her mouth.
4. She claims she never gave me a blowjob, tho I tried pulling her face onto my crotch. Truth is she willingly gave me a blowjob. They took the condom. Is forensics elaborate enough to find her saliva, in additional to her vaginal fluids on the condom and on my crotch?
5. Proof of cancelled ticket, and the fact that she went to Gatwick police station to file the case, AFTER being turned away. Its unlikely the police know about this, because I dont think she has mentioned it to them in her statement.
6. CCTV footage off us entering the hotel, before sex, and exiting the hotel after sex. CCTV footage of us entering the 2nd club, after the alleged rape. She claims she has no idea what was going on, and I was just dragging her everywhere. In the CCTV footage, it should show clearly that she was completely in her senses and walking ahead of me, or behind me, with absolutely no help from me. These help?
7. Of course. She will have no bodily injuries or any sign off a struggle.

Will the CPS still proceed to press charges, if there is not much evidence, to corroborate her story? Infact, most of the evidence disproves her story.

Also, most importantly, I have give only a "no comments" interview so far. Does it make sense to give them a prepared statement, with enough evidence to show them motive, and proof that she could have lied? Or is it best to not tell the police anything, at this stage?

This is all so traumatic. Like most of the people here, its just impossible to lead a normal life, while this is still hanging above your head.

[RFLH]

you felt used??

I feel as if I live in a parallel universe sometimes.

And sometimes its hard to feel any sympathy for people.

You both knew what you were doing - you were both hateful in your own ways.

Its the price you have to pay these days for retribution - read the forum. You're not the first you won't be the last, sad to say.

[panda]

you felt used??

I feel as if I live in a parallel universe sometimes.

And sometimes its hard to feel any sympathy for people.

You both knew what you were doing - you were both hateful in your own ways.

Its the price you have to pay these days for retribution - read the forum. You're not the first you won't be the last, sad to say.

I dont get your point of view. You seem to be in support off girls using a False Rape Allegation, as a tool to get even?

[lawlessone2009]

I dont get your point of view. You seem to be in support off girls using a False Rape Allegation, as a tool to get even?

I think maybe things aren't coming across in the correct context.

Virtually everyone is trying to tell you that by cancelling the flight you more or less forced her to accuse you. What else could she do? She had no means to get home.

We're here to help you but sometimes we identify things which we feel quite uneasy with. Leaving someone stranded is one of those things. If you were, for a moment, to reverse the situation and find yourself stranded then what would you do?

It's also a matter of how things sit with a jury. It's a jury of your peers, they may well find you guilty simply to teach you a lesson. The way the world works is incredibly strange and if you are going to defend yourself then you are going to need to change your attitude and stop attempting to justify your position.

I am not implying that you are completely wrong and I certainly am not saying that what has happened was what was deserved. I am attempting to put forward that you will need to 'more subtly' clarify your position, maybe even be apologetic for cancelling her flight. Explain it off as a very silly and short sighted thing to have done but at the time you did it because of the way you felt 'used' but expanded on some more than that.

I read your first posting and side stepped replying. Obviously with some further details I can begin to see your story. This may take some time and quite a bit of help to put forward in an organised manner which shows you in a better light. Time will give the details. Keep the letter for your solicitor, do not give it to Police.

What has happened to you is in no way correct but it has happened. You now need to figure out a defence. Your defence at the moment creates the wrong impression, it's not beyond belief but it does need to be softer. We can all understand your feelings and relate to them we just need to encourage you to be more subtle with those feelings and convey them in a manner that a jury will actually consider fairly rather than taking a negative reaction too.

Welcome to the forum. You may be getting a slightly hard time but remember these are 'words' with no hatred or malice intended. We're trying to help you even though, at first, it may not seem that way. You've already processed a lot of information and typed it out, if this is easy then keep on typing. You don't need to share every detail with us but feel free to ask questions as and when you feel the need.

[Casehardened]

I have refrained from commenting on this thread but now feel I need to put across a few bullet points;

Everyone who has replied to you so far has either been accused of rape or has supported a close relative who has. No-one who has been through this experience would ever wish it to happen to anyone else so please don't suggest this.

Very likely there is a similar forum to this one with advice as to how females can wreak revenge on a male that has 'wronged' them and, as you have found out, an easy way is to claim rape (she will still have to jump through a few hoops to do this so you must have really wound her up)

However there is a lot of difference between an accusation being made and it being prosecuted in court, (check the statistics) the CPS are supposed to base their decision on a 51% likelihood of winning the case (but if you do study their website, note that presumed guilt or innocence does not come into the equation, only quality of evidence and/or witnesses, and for sexual offences a statement is all the evidence needed)

If the matter went to trial (and I'm not trying to panic you, it is indeed a very big if) you will be judged not by the police, not by the CPS, but 12 members of the public and they are not legally trained. Please consider that if the folks that have responded to you on this thread have condemned your behaviour towards this girl (but without condoning her accusation) that jury members may well have the same reaction.

I've not met you or the girl but any potential jury will; they may well form an opinion on the case based on both of your relative attitudes and demeanour in the witness box, as well as the strength of the legal arguments and the quality of representation, so it's time for you to take a reality and attitude check, and consider your actions towards this girl and learn a lesson for any future liaisons.

Edit to add that my post overlapped with Lawlessone's and there was no collusion!

[RFLH]

thanks Lawless and Casehardened for your clarification - rather than my poke with a sharp stick in the eye approach. I shall now bow out of the thread and leave it to others.