Help me, am in hell

[Frankie]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply, to be honest with you i don't know how you manage to spend such a long time without seing your kids. If i understood properly, if they are witnesses, i won't be allowed to see or talk to them. Is there a way that i can appeal and see them with someone to supervise the meeting??My wife told a friend few days ago (without me asking anything) that the boys were missing me and that i would be able to see them (???). Does she know anything i don't???..she also said to another friend that she knows what will happen but can't say no more (that was 5 days after i was arrested!!)..once again how come she seems so sure about these 2 comments???
This afternoon i'm going to see my divorce solicitor to keep pushing for a fair divorce, i also had an offer accepted for a flat few weeks ago (before my arrest) and i don't want to give up on it. I am moving forward but also i am expecting the worst.
How on earth can i be charged with rape with no evidence (as i did NOT do it), only her words against mine....well i will find out on the 15th or may be before, i find it really unfair that the police or whoever is able to charge someone when it is so obvious it is only a messy divorce and that she wants more that i offered to her.

Frankie

Hi frankie

I can fully understand the emotions you are going through. My now discontinued case has many similarities to yours. My ex wife (not divorced yet) was my FA. We have two young children together.

I have been prevented from seeing my children (now 6 months) & it is torture. I will tell you that the only thing that helps me get through this, is what my solicitor told me and that is to think of this a just a small phase in their life and eventually you will be reunited with them.

I am in family court and you will probably get furher outrageous allegations made about you. This is a ploy for time delays so CAFCASS get involved and write reports.

Its is sickening really. However fight for the truth and try not to despair you are only at the very beginning and may not even get charged.

Good luck.

[Boys don't cry]

Hello Frankie and welcome to the forum.

I have been following your thread but didn't manage to answer until now.
You have been given excellent advice by everyone so far.

The only solution, I think, possible to see your children would be to ask your solicitor to change your bail conditions.Unfortunately and it seems unfair that they are considered as witnesses probably due to the verbal arguments,so I guess you can only try.

Bittersweet is right about the Cafcass and family court.From my experience they only want what is beneficial for the children but it can take a long time and you might have some other nasty surprises from your wife.
The good news:They are oviously missing you and it is a good point.

Your "wife" cannot know what will happen.It is not possible or maybe she has a gift?
I have been in your position,went to trial and is currently ending a divorce...

You wrote that you want a fair divorce but I suppose your wife claimed for rape to win it.
To get a greater share of your house if you are owner.
She will have the custody of the children which means: CSA.
(Mine even asked for spousal maintenance.)

As CH wrote: Don't be upset by your solitor's comments as long as you trust her.
My barrister was a real shark but God bless him.
They work to defend you and you must tell them only the truth.

Regarding the email from your wife's friend,just be careful with this.
I had a word with another senior member regarding emails and I still consider them as dangerous evidence if you understand what I mean.

The only advice I can give you at the moment is to keep busy and remain patient.

[BitterSweet007]

Hi frankie

unfortunately just browsing this forum you will find that people do get charged on the word of the accuser only,especially in historical cases when their usually is very little if any 'evidence' at all. This does not mean yiu will be charged but it is best to prepare yourself mentally. I was on bail for many months prior to been given a NFA. Also try to remember even if you are charged it is the jury not the police or cps who make the final decision. 12 members of the public.

It is extremely difficult to cope in the first few weeks and throughout the process especially like us when we are stopped from seeing our children. But it is because of the love we have for our children we must keep calm and fight.

if your children are considered witnesses it may be quite difficult to get access but I dont know the legal system. Do not give up though. Unfortunately the family court proceedings are drawn out & expensive whilst the other side gets legal aid.

take one day at a time, go the doctor's if need be to help with the shock & trauma, it is very likely you will be rebailed on the 15th.

good luck

[Frankie]

Hi, sorry got no access to PC so it's gonna b short. To answer
One of ur question, no she did not mention the rape on the
Divorce document!!!!! Just few unreasonable behaviours
While she is the one who cheated on me!! B
Unbelievable isn't it????
Frankie

Hello Frankie and welcome to the forum.

I have been following your thread but didn't manage to answer until now.
You have been given excellent advice by everyone so far.

The only solution, I think, possible to see your children would be to ask your solicitor to change your bail conditions.Unfortunately and it seems unfair that they are considered as witnesses probably due to the verbal arguments,so I guess you can only try.

Bittersweet is right about the Cafcass and family court.From my experience they only want what is beneficial for the children but it can take a long time and you might have some other nasty surprises from your wife.
The good news:They are oviously missing you and it is a good point.

Your "wife" cannot know what will happen.It is not possible or maybe she has a gift?
I have been in your position,went to trial and is currently ending a divorce...

You wrote that you want a fair divorce but I suppose your wife claimed for rape to win it.
To get a greater share of your house if you are owner.
She will have the custody of the children which means: CSA.
(Mine even asked for spousal maintenance.)

As CH wrote: Don't be upset by your solitor's comments as long as you trust her.
My barrister was a real shark but God bless him.
They work to defend you and you must tell them only the truth.

Regarding the email from your wife's friend,just be careful with this.
I had a word with another senior member regarding emails and I still consider them as dangerous evidence if you understand what I mean.

The only advice I can give you at the moment is to keep busy and remain patient.

[myhome]

many trials on here are on the basis of one person's word against the other. This apparently is "evidence" according to billykickass's trial judge. BKA got 2 Not Guilty so just because she says you did, and you may have to go to Crown Court, doesn't mean to say you will be found guilty. You might, but you might not....

[Frankie]

Hi,

Another thing i would like to add: they did not ask for my laptop, USB keys, external hard drive.
They took my phone the evening of the arrest, put an # number to see if it was a stolen one and put in in a sealed plastic envelop i got back the day after.
Got nothing to hide but can they have access to deleted files, pictures or videos?

4,5 days to go before my meeting at the police station, am panicking more and more everyday...

Frankie

[can it get worse]

So sorry to read yet another story. It has similarities to many other people's experiences on here.

All your feelings are normal but nevertheless very difficult to cope with. And on top of that you have the added upset of not being able to see your boys.

A re-bail unfortunately, is very common in circumstances like this. Please try to expect this as a possibility as the police do not seem to be in any sort of rush at any stage.

This is a very difficult time for you - where there are so many questions going thru your head. It feels that the lack of knowing what is going on is really impossible to bear. Please try to stay calm and keep your head straight.

Bide your time - your accuser seems quite open in her comments. Make a full and complete record of it all even if you feel it is not relevant.

Regards.

[Frankie]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply.
I think my wife is quite open with her comments as i think she realises she's gone too far and might regrets it now, but i guess it is too late for her to withdraw her accusation as she would be the one in trouble now. I am scared to death to be honest with you and still don't understand what is happening to me.
To summarise again, 18 years of wonderful life, then 2 years ago she started to look around for some fun, cheated on me 2.5 months ago (got the proof), started a messy divorce, with the usual verbal arguments (not physical) and went to the police accusing me of raping her over 2 years ago.....it is obvious she might be scared but also greedy for the divorce.
I do not remember what i did on the day of the so called rape and i'm sure no one on this forum does remember what he/she did on that date too.
All i can say is that our last intimate sex was in Jan 2012 because she enjoyed it for once and that's it...from then are relationship went downhill but we were still acting as a happy family for our boys.
In Dec 2012 we even shared the same bed again, had a cuddle but no sex as she was tired. 3 days later
i slapped my son (shoudn't have,sorry), she looked at me and told me to go back to the spare bedroom until the 28/12/13 the day i was arrested......
I am lost and confused and very very scared...

Frankie

So sorry to read yet another story. It has similarities to many other people's experiences on here.

All your feelings are normal but nevertheless very difficult to cope with. And on top of that you have the added upset of not being able to see your boys.

A re-bail unfortunately, is very common in circumstances like this. Please try to expect this as a possibility as the police do not seem to be in any sort of rush at any stage.

This is a very difficult time for you - where there are so many questions going thru your head. It feels that the lack of knowing what is going on is really impossible to bear. Please try to stay calm and keep your head straight.

Bide your time - your accuser seems quite open in her comments. Make a full and complete record of it all even if you feel it is not relevant.

Regards.

[Frankie]

Hi,

Got a text yesterday confirming that my son has booked 2 tickets (for him and me i guess) for a football match on the 9th of Feb at Old trafford (Manchester)....I work in the railway industry and got my son free pass for the train (which means my wife will have to buy his ticket), also my wife is a teacher (it is not half term) and i can't see her going there for one day, even so she is from Manchester.
Once again does she know something i don't, why does she let our son book 2 tickets for him and me knowing what is going on?.....once again i'm confused and need some advice if you can, thanks in advance for your priceless help....

Frankie

[Boys don't cry]

Hi Frankie

In your first post you wrote that you are not allowed to contact your wife or boys directly or inderectly.
Hopefully you will get NFA on the 15th and will be reunited or your bail condtions will change.

If unfortunately not :You will have to make a sacrifice and forget about this football match,otherwise you will get a single to HMP.

Fingers crossed.

[can it get worse]

Hopefully you will get NFA on the 15th and will be reunited or your bail condtions will change.

If unfortunately not :You will have to make a sacrifice and forget about this football match,otherwise you will get a single to HMP.

Fingers crossed.

Had to inappropriately chuckle at that BDC

Frankie - Again.......not sure what to make of the actions of your wife......... Hopefully she does know something ... Could I suggest contacting your sol in the morning to ask if he/she has been told by police to attend your bail on 15th. I think I'm correct in thinking they notify sol in advance if they are required to attend and if so, it indicates that a decision to charge is going to happen. However 'in advance' can mean 1 hour before!!! So again it's just that wicked waiting game.

Everything crossed for you..

[Frankie]

Hi,

That is correct i am not allowed to contact them or her directly or indirectly but because my son is using my membership log in to book tickets (like we have done for the last 4 years), all enquieries or confirmation of any booking is forwarded straight away to my personnal e mail adress, hence why i know he has done it. So as far as i am concerned i am NOT breaching the bail conditions. That football match or any other booking is the last of my priority, i am just surprised that my wife is letting my son doing it like: - she already knows what will happen or - she is assuming i'm not gonna be charged.
In any case it shows that my sons are trying to live a "normal" life and i hope they are not too affected with what is happening to me lately.
And like you said i hope to get an NFA or only a caution as i am INNOCENT.

Frankie [ QUOTE=Boys don't cry;46019]Hi Frankie

In your first post you wrote that you are not allowed to contact your wife or boys directly or inderectly.
Hopefully you will get NFA on the 15th and will be reunited or your bail condtions will change.

If unfortunately not :You will have to make a sacrifice and forget about this football match,otherwise you will get a single to HMP.

Fingers crossed.[/QUOTE]

[Frankie]

Hi,

My lawyer will be with me on the 15th (i know cos i gave her £250.00 to attend), she said to me she will do her best to find out the outcome as soon as she can, which might be the day before, an hour before or even 10 minutes before we go to the police station. She has the name of the detective who interviewed me, so we will definitly know if i am charged before entering the police station. Is it something normal or common???
So if i understand cleary your message it means that i'm going to be charged???....sorry to ask you these questions but as you already know i am scared to death.

Frankie

Had to inappropriately chuckle at that BDC

Frankie - Again.......not sure what to make of the actions of your wife......... Hopefully she does know something ... Could I suggest contacting your sol in the morning to ask if he/she has been told by police to attend your bail on 15th. I think I'm correct in thinking they notify sol in advance if they are required to attend and if so, it indicates that a decision to charge is going to happen. However 'in advance' can mean 1 hour before!!! So again it's just that wicked waiting game.

Everything crossed for you..

[Casehardened]

So if i understand cleary your message it means that i'm going to be charged???....sorry to ask you these questions but as you already know i am scared to death.

Frankie

Hi Frankie,

If I've understood you correctly you yourself requested your solicitor attend the police station to answer bail with you and as yet she doesn't know the outcome.

So the only real answer we can give you is that only the CPS know (and of course they may not have come to a decision yet and it may be a rebail)

[Frankie]

Hi,

That is correct, if it would not have been her it would have been the one i had at the police station the day of my arrest (free as i was entitled to). However i went for another one who i think will do her upmost to defend me. Who knows, the police might want to reinterview me on wednesday and i need her advice as, at the end of the day, she is a professional and i pay her to protect and help me.Never been in that position before and you might think i am paranoid but i want the best outcome for me and i'll do anything i can to clear my name.
From being a victim i am now almost the guilty one, there is too many holes in my wife story (already mentioned in my previous threads).....i know i might be a bit naive but if someone stole your car you would report it straight away to the police, so why on earth did it take her 2 years to report me for rape???....i know why and it's simple but would the police and the CPS have the same conclusion??

Frankie

Hi Frankie,

If I've understood you correctly you yourself requested your solicitor attend the police station to answer bail with you and as yet she doesn't know the outcome.

So the only real answer we can give you is that only the CPS know (and of course they may not have come to a decision yet and it may be a rebail)