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In real need of some help

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  • In real need of some help

    Hey all, I could really use some help, I'm 18 years of age and after a fumble outside a club (which was consenting and did not involve intercourse) a girl accused me of forcing myself on her and raping her after which I was arrested and bailed on suspicion of rape.
    Since then my life is falling apart, I had been planning on moving to Germany to a new unit (I am in the military) and now I am not allowed by army law to leave the country, to add to this the stress of the allegations are tearing me up, I'd never been to a police station in my life before this. It's ruined my social life as a dread going out in my home town and the girl accusing me in front of friends, I have already been called a rapist on social media but managed to get it removed before damage was done. My home life is no better as the stress is harming my family, my mum is constantly in floods of tears and her and my dad always argue now. My solicitor is completely incompetent and even forgot about my bail hearings! I have had to lie to friends and family and I'm terrified of the accusations surfacing. I feel like I am powerless, After 5 months on bail I don't know how much more waiting I can take, my unit has welfare and although they try they don't understand. Can anyone offer ANY advice or help

  • #2
    Hi Crafty & welcome to the forum,

    Sorry to read of your situation but you will get understanding here as most members are or have been in your situation or supporting someone who is; your case is awful and unique to yourself but also very run-of-the mill to the police and legal profession (this doesn't excuse your solicitor's disinterest but may explain it, also unless you are charged with an offence he can only claim legal aid fees on your behalf for attending interviews, extending bail doesn't count)

    If you have not already done so have a read of:

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

    Unless the CPS decide to charge you there is no point in changing solicitors (for the reasons above) to someone who specialises in defending false allegations but there is no harm in researching firms local to where the allegation occurred and a good starting point is here:

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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    • #3
      Read all you can

      Hi there

      Sorry to hear about your case I am a mother of an 18 year old who has also been accused of rape from a former girlfriend and no exactly what you are going through. Try and ask your parents to read this forum it will help them to deal with everything too and hopefully you guys can unite don't let this person tear you apart it is an awful waiting game and you need your family to stay strong for you. There are some really great people on here that have or are going through their own experiences and have given me a lot of support.

      Please keep in touch and use this forum it will give you a lot of support I am sending you a big hug

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      • #4
        Hi and welcome though so sorry you have had to find us....you've been given great advice already. I would also add to have a look at her FB pages and screen shot anything and everything - no matter how insignificant they seem. a recent trial was thrown out part way through day 2 due to FB evidence painstakingly researched by RF. Keep these and any text messages you have stored electronically somewhere where plod won't get them. Don't give ANYTHING to plod - they are NOT your friends and are not interested in innocence or the truth - only in meeting conviction targets. Don't talk to them without a solicitor present, and then only answer what they ask you - don't volunteer anything extra especially if you think it will help you. They will distort it, lose it, deny they ever had it or tell the liar so she can change her story to fit.....

        Have a look at this link... http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

        Keep strong...
        "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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