Tired.... :(

[Innocentguy1983]

Hi guys

I hope everyone is well, I'm really deflated at the moment. Life is stagnant, I'm saving every penny and my wife and I are feeling low.

We got the cost of the barrister back and it's 8k plus vat for a fixed fee. Trial is 3-4 days and not till next April...We have a QC and are paying privately. We paid the solicitor already, which was 3100. So what ever happens.. We're 12k worse off...

Money is such a stress.... And you worry how you are going to pay for bills if the worst happens..

Whatever happens, my life feels forever changed.. My wife and I had dreams of a family and they seem forever gone...

I'm tired.. Stressed.. and I don't know how much of this I can take...

Really... The stressful part has yet to come...

I feel for everyone going through this experience and who Are truly innocent!

IG

[tinkerbell]

Hi IG

Sorry that you are feeling down, I can understand where you are coming from, my partner has been charged and in court in Feb for trial. He has had to pay 6k so far but what I find the hardest is that my ex was told by social services and then he kept my children 8 weeks and 13k later they are back with me but now my ex is not allowed to have anything to do with them.

When the trial is over we now need to go back to court to see if we can get the court order removed so that we can try to re build our lives and try to be a family but I have been told that this is very unlikely. How can anyone still see you as a risk when a jury find you innocent its crazy.

Try to stay positive the truth will come out in the end, money can be saved again and you and your wife can get your lives back on track

[myhome]

Hi IG - I'm so sorry to read how you are feeling - though it is really understandable...

You have said, "I don't know how much of this I can take..." so many of us - me included - have, or are feeling this.

I'd like to share with you how I am coping at the moment....I used to say, "I can't do this any more.." So then I asked myself what the alternatives would be. There were 3.... 1 - suicide - yep - sorted out someone to take my dogs then got very drunk and wrote the note.....fortunately the tiny rational bit took control and I rang the CMHT..... 2 - sitting dribbling in a corner while someone looks after me - nope - not an option... so 3 - breathing in and out and putting one foot in front of the other......and the way I do that is to change the question a bit and ask myself, "HOW am I going to do this?" and then I started to find and develop answers

It's only a small change of words but it has really helped me. So I wonder if you could change your question to yourself, and say, "HOW am I going to keep on taking more of this?" and like I did, start to answer your question.......

I really hope this helps - don't give up hon - you've come a very long way.......hugging:

[Coltay]

I feel for you please hang in

Hi IG

I have just read your thread and need to give you a big hug x

It is so hard but you have a loving wife that is by your side and where there is a will there is a way... I have my son waiting to hear if he is going to be charged and I have had my lows lately but for his sake I have to stay strong. My heart goes out to you both and one day what she has done will come around to her two fold xx

[mumneedinghelp]

Hi IG

Sorry to hear you are so down but keep positive and I hope it all turns out ok as it did for my son just over a week ago. Are you still working and if so have you managed to keep what you are going through from them?

When I read how much people are having to pay for solicitors and barristers I am thankful that my son was able to get legal aid because otherwise I don't know what we would have done.

My son is still coming to terms with the fact that his ordeal is all over. He says he can't believe it. I just hope he is more careful with the women he chooses to go out with now and I hope his FA gets what she deserves one day. She showed in court what a liar she is and it annoys me greatly that she has probably claimed compensation for her lies

Take care

[Innocentguy1983]

Thank you all for the kind words. After a good sleep I feel much better.

I have been lucky enough to get through 8 months without any alcohol or medication.. Don't ask me how..

Luckily, got through preliminary without no mention in the paper so I have my job still.. I have plea at end of jan, so a few days before, I will tell work. As it is essentially 3 months before my trial.. Which is my notice period. I have seeked out advice from an employment lawyer and acas, and my company can't dismiss me till after a conviction. In theory they should suspend me on full pay, which would be good.. but that won't happen, I have an important role. Interesting times ahead...

@myhome, I love you xxx you are such a good egg, thank you for the advice and your right... I am going to fix it and fight fight fight!! Xx

@mummingneedinghelp, I'm so pleased your son is on the road to recovery! Congrats for you I did get legal aid, I had to pay 13k before they would help and I could only get a junior barrister. My solicitor got me a qc for less money, so paying private was a no brainier.. Only slight catch is I can't claim costs back. Oh well..

Again thank you all so much for your advice and I wish you all good luck!

Xxx

[Dave]

Sending positive vibes chum. This will be over soon although not soon enough obviously.

When you win, which you will, the feeling will be worth every penny of the money, which you will be getting back anyway.

Stay strong.

[mumneedinghelp]

Hi IG

I know you are really worried about the press being involved but they were nowhere to be seen at my son's plea hearing or at the trial. His barrister said his case would be of no interest to them.
I was surprised that the FA's family weren't there throughout. Her mum, sister and auntie were only there on the first day which the barrister said is usually what happens. The only other person there was one of the arresting officers who my son said was the nice one. At the end of the trial he came over to my son and said if he wanted to follow him back to the police station he would sort out the return of his clothes and phone so he didn't have to travel back to that town to pick them up.

I would like to point out to everyone who cannot afford to pay for a solicitor and barrister that the right result can be achieved on just legal aid alone although I agree that it does depend on who you get and how complicated the case is. My son's barrister was only a junior barrister but I had read his cv and was impressed because he is a high flyer in the Midlands and had previously been a CPS prosecutor for 3 years on rape cases and when we met him he just put us at ease. He had a wonderful manner and assured us that they would work as hard on my son's case as they would for someone paying up to £45000 for their services. My son only had one meeting with the solicitor and one meeting with the barrister before the trial and there wasn't a lot of communication between them and my son but that suited my son because he is so laid back and was quite happy to put his trust in the experts. A couple of times I forced him to email them with questions and they always gave a prompt reply and stated that they could be contacted at any time. When they sent him the final defence statement and a list of further information they required I could not fault it and at the trial things came out about the FA that we were unaware of but which proved that they had been working hard in the background.

[smokiejo]

Hi ig sending hugs to you please stay strong you can beat this x

[myhome]

Hi IG - mwah.........so pleased you are sounding more upbeat to-day..... these roller coastering ups and downs are so hard to cope with.....keep battling and remember we're all here for you.....

[lawlessone2009]

Hold on in there, it'll all be over before you know it.

I'm actually finding it more difficult now that my upset is over. I have this deep rooted feeling that I have been denied something. Some may say 'justice' but I don't relate that to what happened to me. Nothing that happens in this country with regards 'the law' has anything to do with JUSTICE. For them to call it that beggars belief.

Anyway, IG, everyday is indeed a new day. Every single day that passes fills you full of new experiences and new knowledge. Do not let the buggers get you down!

You don't need to fight. You don't need to do anything apart from relax, breath deeply and remember that you will never be beaten.

You may be feeling over powered and cornered but please realise that the idiots running the system HAVE NO POWER. They feed off fear and intimidation. Don't bow down to them, stand up and face them. There may be a million of them but there's ONE of you and you are more than capable of facing them and walking away (probably for a pint in the pub to celebrate!).

It only takes one person to change an entire nation. You may not be willing to change the world quite yet but don't underestimate the power that you have.

[Innocentguy1983]

Hi guys

I was sat out in my lounge this morning and heard a massive thump through the letter box. Lucky me, it was the prosecution paperwork from my solicitor.

7 statements to go through. Including mine.

After the first read, I was in so much shock and disbelief with some if the things that have been said.. Especially at the age I would of been...

However after the second read... I can see massive holes in it!

I am going through highlighting and taking notes and contradicting what's been said..

I can't wait to rip this ***** a new a hole.... Grrrr

On a positive, I am going for an epidural next Friday for my sciatica... Pain relief..here we come!

Just a quick vent, going back to watch a film.

Bye for now, IG

[myhome]

Hi IG - now at least you know what you are up against. As you say, and to be expected, lots and lots of holes in her statements. That's because liars have to have a good memory, to remember what lies have already been told... good luck and don't leave a syllable unturned....

[can it get worse]

It's good that you showing fighting spirit now you have received more information.

We were exactly the same when we received some info. After the first read - we saw many points that appeared poor.

I hope this will continue for you and you will feel empowered with the help of your team to prove your innocence.

[accused1234]

Hi Innocentguy1983, I am glad your feeling more optimistic now. It may cost 12K but to hear her stutter through all the lies will be priceless. Hang in there lad. Not long to go now.