confused and scared

[broken man]

hi everyone, after splitting with my longterm girlfriend, i met a woman on pof dating site... we talked for a few weeks before we met up at a pub had a drink and we got on well, we arranged to meet up again and had a meal which was nice.. had a smooch in the car etc, a week later she invited me to a gig, her favourite band, i got a hotel and she decided she wanted to share it with me, we had a great nt and returned to the hotel... we made love...cuddled up and fell asleep. she left me a present and said what a great time she had... we walked out together hand in hand i thought everything was great. kissed her goodbye and went home... after that my ex came back into my life and i chose to try again. i didnt want to be unfair to the woman i met on pof so i messaged her to say im sorry but it wasnt what i wanted... she called me a few names and said she never wants to hear from me again,
4wks later i get a call to go to police station where i was causioned on suspition of rape!! after questioning she had told a completely different story... im now on bail.. i cant eat, sleep, think straight... ive got to go back in 10wks.. i cant cope and keep breaking down.. i cant believe someone would say that about me.. i dont know what to do... could any of you offer any advice on what i do next??? im confused upset and totally shocked.

[Casehardened]

Hi & welcome to the forum,

I've moved your post into a more appropriate section of the forum

This link may answer some of your questions:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[broken man]

thank you for the link and moving my post. the link has helped me understand the process. its the fact that someone would make up such a lie thats shocked me.... im totally numb and know i need to get on with life.

[Izzy]

I'm sorry you found yourself here Broken Man.
Unfortunately everyone on the forum will recognise the feelings you describe I can't use the word normal because there isn't anything normal about them.
Somewhere in it all you need to find a coping mechanism to deal with it, if you can't your Doctor might be a starting point.

I'm glad the link Casehardened gave you helped, it explains it to a tee and I think there is reassurance that the situation you have found yourself in isn't one that in unheard of.

If you still have the messages from pof screenshot them - they will show you were on good terms up to the point of you breaking up with her and gives a motive for the accusation.

You said you spent the night in a Hotel and left hand in hand and kissed goodbye - I would speak to your Solicitor about CCTV records from the hotel.

Take care

Izzy

[broken man]

thank u izzy... i have felt so alone since this has happened. this site has already helped just knowing im not the only one... tho i believe that nobody should be falsely accused.. i had deleted all pof and tex msg off my phone, the police have it and i pray they find the relevant messages to vindicate my innocence.. its only been a few days but am glad im at work to take my mind off it... got to book doctors as chest pains and lack of sleep are taking their toll.
good luck to everyone fighting there own corner... and thank u all for being here as i dont know wot id do..

[broken man]

evidence

can anyone tell if i can get the cctv footage from hotel?? or to get the text msg sent between the accuser and myself that have been deleted?? do i need to get solicitor now or wait to see what happens in 10weeks... my mind is still spinning as i try to understand why someone would do this. its hell...

[Izzy]

Did you have a Solicitor with you when you were interviewed? If not you need to get yourself an experienced one who has a proven track record of defending false allegations of rape. There is a sticky here http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

I think it is worthwhile to get one on board early - obviously they will only able to advise generally as there will be no disclosure at this stage but I would seek advice on how you go about applying for the CCTV footage.

[broken man]

5 days into this hell....

thanks izzy.. im going to ring one tomorrow... the text msg she had sent me should clear me... 5days into this hell and im getting worse... sleep is difficut and its right what the link Casehardened sent me.... this will change me and my life will never be the same again. all because i finished with her... i still cant believe she has done this.

[broken man]

i didnt have a solicitor present at the interview... i havnt had any experience of being accused before this..