Scared to death by false claim

[scaredbyfa]

Hi all, I am glad I found this as it comes as some comfort I am not alone.

Very recently I have been accused of raping my younger cousin!

It started with a phone call, initially saying that my cousin had come out with this. when said incident happened i was a certain age, She found it strange that my dad should want to tell me and my mum. Initially saying they didn't want to hurt my mum.
Initially he didn't want it to go any further saying he only wanted me to know that what I had done was wrong.

They have given a date and a place but the dates don't match the house they were in at the time and my aunt reckons we are just picking holes. My dad also said about the drug use that goes on the household and now I have had a threat that if I phone him and appologise for what I had that would be the end of it... Really? Admit to something I haven't done. Also the threat contained that he would the next time he sees his therapist be hypnotised to remember more?

We have sought legal advice and they have told us not to phone and not to make any meeting to talk about it face to face.
I don't get why when I was there for him when he was bullied and he was never afraid to be alone with me. And his own dad told us he was having sex like a rabit. I was never brought up around sex and we never had internet untill I was much older!

[Innocentguy1983]

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Hi there

Im sorry to hear what your going through, you have already done the right thing and found legal representation who have offered you sound advice by not contacting the FA.

Have the police been involved yet?

One thing I know is.. its very difficult to remember historic events in great detail as I am going through something very similar... it is essential that you write down as much as you can remember around these times ready incase this goes further.

More people will be along shortly to give further advice.

Stay positive!

IG

[lawlessone2009]

Do not under any circumstance 'meet' to discuss anything.

Do not under any circumstances make any admissions or even apologise for something that never happened.

Take little else to do with the situation.

Do not encourage them to seek 'justice' "if they believe it to have happened". It's not that justice should not be sought IF they believe it to be true but more that you should not put ideas into their heads and more leave them to do what they want to do.

Your position should be one of 'no interest'. Do not clarify mistakes, attempt to justify beliefs or discuss the matter further. It sounds as though they have no clue about anything and you giving them info or correcting their mistakes simply improves their position whilst damaging your own.

As for therapy and hypnotism... Not entirely sure that'd work in a court of law... Bit of fantasy there...

[scaredbyfa]

Hi thanks, No involvement from police as yet but as you can imagine being threatened with action is scary, we have cut contact with the accuser so far but very difficult for my dad not to speak to his brother who doesn't live with said family anymore as they split up.
I have no intention of saying sorry for something that I didn't do so will definatly not be going down that route. I fear that his depression and the breakdown of the family has led him to his state of Mind as it is now, but why he has hit out at me when I was the one who was there for him is beyond me.
As for remembering I don't remember ever being at the house alone with him in any room, what I do know is at the time/place I'm meant to have done it (which is upstairs in a cupboard) they were living in an upstairs flat on a very different road name to the one given.
I fear his mental state, and use of canibis has severely impaired his judgment. I also don't think he would have put himself in a position of being alone with me going to concerts etc if this has bothered him so long?
I'd like to take no more interest as you say but it's going to rip a family apart.

[lawlessone2009]

It is incredibly difficult and I have no doubts that lasting damage will be done BUT you need to look after YOU at the moment. Don't divulge information or clarify anything to the 'other side'.

It could well be worth having a look at local legal firms and finding one that is specialised in sexual crimes. If you're unsure then post your region up and see if others could potentially help. Keep the number/details handy should anything ever happen and you get dragged into the cop shop.

IF you are dragged into the station then DO NOT answer any questions without you solicitor present no matter how easy or convincing the Police make things sound.

Attempt not to dwell too much on things just now or even over analyse things. It's easy to say but difficult to do. Try.

[myhome]

Hi and welcome to the forum but sorry yet another person has had to find us....

You've been given great advice so far. I would add to this by suggesting that you could start to write a Timeline of your life from birth to present noting memorable family/joint family events; what all your addresses have been - date you started living there date you moved; similarly for your cousin. Your dad should be able to help you with those addresses and dates and what type of property each was.

Keep multiples copies of this somewhere safe where the police will never find any of them. If you did have to go and give an interview and they found out that the addresses, ages, types of property didn't match your cousin's statement, the police would then "encourage" him to change his statement to fit what you had told them or what they had found out - yes that really does happen!!!

Keep away from your cousin - unfriend him on FB; block him from your emails/phone etc.....

Keep strong..... MH

[scaredbyfa]

Hi all thanks for the advice, Adams Whyte was a name that's come up?
Can anyone help with what may or may not happen? How do they go about proving my innocence?

[Casehardened]

How do they go about proving my innocence?

Really, the onus is on you to give them the ammunition to do this! You are the main witness to what did or didn't happen, so are best placed to write down a timeline of the alleged incident(s) with an accompanying explanation of why it could not have happened.

The solicitor's job (but bear in mind he cannot claim legal legal aid on your behalf unless you are charged so may not want do anything until then) will be to collate any witnesses, prepare the defence statement, and brief the barrister but obviously he will need information from you to be able to do this properly.

I know it seems unfair that you have to prove your innocence rather than they having to prove your guilt but sadly that seems to be the name of the game at the moment.

[scaredbyfa]

Really, the onus is on you to give them the ammunition to do this! You are the main witness to what did or didn't happen, so are best placed to write down a timeline of the alleged incident(s) with an accompanying explanation of why it could not have happened.

The solicitor's job (but bear in mind he cannot claim legal legal aid on your behalf unless you are charged so may not want do anything until then) will be to collate any witnesses, prepare the defence statement, and brief the barrister but obviously he will need information from you to be able to do this properly.

I know it seems unfair that you have to prove your innocence rather than they having to prove your guilt but sadly that seems to be the name of the game at the moment.

Thanks, I have all the ammo I need.
Extremely scary that anyone can turn around and say these things and not a second thought seems to be given to there current goings on at home etc.
it is also scary that it has been suggested by a solicitors website that therapists can falsely lead an accuser to believe that said incident is true.

[myhome]

it is also scary that it has been suggested by a solicitors website that therapists can falsely lead an accuser to believe that said incident is true.

There is a mental health illness called "False Memory Syndrome" in which a sufferer actually believes they experienced events which didn't happen to them - I wonder if this is what that website is referring to? If so then I would think that the therapist will be helping the sufferer to unravel their beliefs...

[can it get worse]

There is a mental health illness called "False Memory Syndrome" in which a sufferer actually believes they experienced events which didn't happen to them - I wonder if this is what that website is referring to? If so then I would think that the therapist will be helping the sufferer to unravel their beliefs...

I have done some reading up on this subject - It seems that some 'therapists' can 'plant' an idea in to someone's mind in order to get to the route of their mental illness/problems.

There was recently an article (September 2013) in the Washington Post about this which may be of interest to anyone.

There is also an organisation called British False memory syndrome organisation. It is very helpful.

[scaredbyfa]

Thanks had a look at it, scary isn't it. People you are meant to trust can plant small, seemingly silly seeds that manifest into full blown beliefs?

[Rights Fighter]

Please don't think that counselling and hypnotherapy will cause this allegation not to be believed by the police or CPS. I've known cases go to court after the accuser has claimed she or he had 'forgotten' about 'the abuse' until they went to a seance and were reminded by the medium!!

You need to start gathering material evidence from the time of the alleged assaults that will disprove, or help to disprove the claims.