Desperately needing support!

[Kaz8671]

Hi Everyone,

My partner has been falsely accused of raping a woman he had a shortlived affair with almost 2 and a half years ago! The police raided our house at 7am one morning back in May and took him out in handcuffs!! in front of my 15 year old son. I fully believed in his innocence and he was released on bail the following day from the local sherrif court. The police meanwhile took away computers and cameras and mobile phones and proceeded to then contact everyone on my partners old e:mail accounts (being an ex squaddie) and a bit of a lad in the past their were many!! At the start of August the police then turned up at our house in an other dawn raid to arrest him again as apparently 3 more women had came forward as part of their investigations?? Yet another charge of rape and two of Voyeurism!! He was given police bail to appear in court 3 weeks later where he was then remanded into custody for 7 days! After the 7 days his lawyer went back to court to put in a bail appeal and my partner was remanded for a further 140 days and moved to a prison over 60 miles from where we live. The police have been busy interviewing ex wives etc (one of whom is a complete fantasist) and they have all apparently made statements to them.I myself have been asked quite aggressively by the police to make a statement to them but have in fact refused! I have lived with my partner for the last 2 years and have never met a more mild mannered non aggressive person who would bend over backwards to accomodate you or give you his last penny if it would make you happy! I just cannot bear to think what the end outcome for all of this will be and have reached the end of my tether. We have had to change solicitors in the meantime as my partners first solicitor felt it appropriate to send me an e:mail at 7pm on a Friday evening to let me know he had been remanded into custody. I'm just so lost and don't know where to turn for help!

[Dave]

Sorry to hear you are in this terrible situation, someone will be alone soon to give wise words of advice.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Kaz

So sorry to hear what you and your partner have been through over the last few months. Am I right in thinking you are in Scotland as this will obviously affect any advice you are given about the legal processes.

There are many of us on here in a similar position to yourself supporting our husbands and partners through an FA. It does make it slightly more bearable and less mystifying knowing that you are not alone.


Best wishes and virtual hugs

FS

[Casehardened]

Hi,

I've moved your post to the falsely accused section where it is more appropriate to seek and receive advice

[myhome]

Hi and welcome to the forum but so sorry you had to find us.
You and your partner are at the start of an awful traumatic journey during which you will experience such a range of emotions you never knew existed - so - my advice is to seek help and support for both of you - your GP is a good first point of contact. S/he will be able to give you sympathetic advice and if necessary signpost you on to other counselling/therapy organisations....
keep stron, keep posting and we'll help all we can......

[Kaz8671]

Hi and welcome to the forum but so sorry you had to find us.
You and your partner are at the start of an awful traumatic journey during which you will experience such a range of emotions you never knew existed - so - my advice is to seek help and support for both of you - your GP is a good first point of contact. S/he will be able to give you sympathetic advice and if necessary signpost you on to other counselling/therapy organisations....
keep stron, keep posting and we'll help all we can......

Thank you for your support and yes we are in scotland! I'm verging at the moment on just chucking it all in and walking away to breaking down every 10 minutes and desolate hysterics. I have never felt so lost or so alone.

[Kaz8671]

Hi,

I've moved your post to the falsely accused section where it is more appropriate to seek and receive advice

Thank you I'm not very good at all this computer stuff!

[Kaz8671]

Hi Kaz

So sorry to hear what you and your partner have been through over the last few months. Am I right in thinking you are in Scotland as this will obviously affect any advice you are given about the legal processes.

There are many of us on here in a similar position to yourself supporting our husbands and partners through an FA. It does make it slightly more bearable and less mystifying knowing that you are not alone.


Best wishes and virtual hugs

FS

Yes we are in Scotland!Where the law sees fit to imprison you before trial??? Never mind that you have a job or family or obligations in the outside world! and although having found this site I know I'm not alone - I dont think I have ever felt more alone in my life!!

[lawlessone2009]

Yes we are in Scotland!Where the law sees fit to imprison you before trial??? Never mind that you have a job or family or obligations in the outside world! and although having found this site I know I'm not alone - I dont think I have ever felt more alone in my life!!

Hey,

England seems to have a better system of justice whereby the Police actually take their time before jumping in with charges... This of course can be detrimental to those accused...

I am finding it a little difficult to quite understand what's happened in your case.

Remand, bail, remand....... Charges thrown about in the middle and such. It seems to me to be a complete mess.

Has your freshly instructed legal team been brought up to speed? What is their opinion?

What county of Scotland are you in? (Dumfries & Galloway/Strathclyde/Highlands)?

[Kaz8671]

Hey,

England seems to have a better system of justice whereby the Police actually take their time before jumping in with charges... This of course can be detrimental to those accused...

I am finding it a little difficult to quite understand what's happened in your case.

Remand, bail, remand....... Charges thrown about in the middle and such. It seems to me to be a complete mess.

Has your freshly instructed legal team been brought up to speed? What is their opinion?

What county of Scotland are you in? (Dumfries & Galloway/Strathclyde/Highlands)?

Sorry maybe didn't make all that very clear! He was charged initially in May with one offence (dating back two years) then kept in police custody made an appearance in the sheriff court the following morning where he was bailed! Police investigated and apparently 3 more "victims" came forward and made statements he was then charged again in Aug and realised after questioning with a date to appear back in the sherrif court 3 weeks later - was then remanded in custody for 7 days bail appeal was heard in the court after 7 days and remanded into custody for 140 days!! We are in the Edinburgh area! And the new lawyer is currently being brought up to speed!! And yes its definitely a complete mess!!!

[lawlessone2009]

Hey,

No need to apologise.

You have made it all crystal clear though.

Seems as if the Police have went 'looking' for 'victims'....

When you go looking for things and calling them certain descriptive terms you generally find those things within those descriptive terms. Everyone is a 'victim' these days and of course the money on offer is kinda hard to turn down.

I would let your solicitor get up to speed and then see where it's all at. Not a lot can really happen after the initial bail hearing and subsequent remand. I suppose an appeal could be potentially lodged but then you would need advice on it, whether it is worth pursuing and what it would mean.

The clock started ticking on the initial charge. One year to get it into court. The remand period is speeding that time up...

What I would say though is that it will not be beneficial to your man to be led into court FROM custody in front of a jury. I am not certain how it works now but it IS something that will need to be discussed with your solicitor. Sitting in handcuffs doesn't create the correct impression, if that's what could happen.

Don't get too caught up in all the interviewing and statements and the bleakness of how it all looks. It's one giant game of intimidation and harassment. I know everything is brutally raw and real at the moment but take a little time to chill and then sort through things from the beginning keeping everything logical and methodical.

Seek help from the doctor if required. Some happy pills to lift the stress and mood a little.

[Kaz8671]

Hey,

No need to apologise.

You have made it all crystal clear though.

Seems as if the Police have went 'looking' for 'victims'....

When you go looking for things and calling them certain descriptive terms you generally find those things within those descriptive terms. Everyone is a 'victim' these days and of course the money on offer is kinda hard to turn down.

I would let your solicitor get up to speed and then see where it's all at. Not a lot can really happen after the initial bail hearing and subsequent remand. I suppose an appeal could be potentially lodged but then you would need advice on it, whether it is worth pursuing and what it would mean.

The clock started ticking on the initial charge. One year to get it into court. The remand period is speeding that time up...

What I would say though is that it will not be beneficial to your man to be led into court FROM custody in front of a jury. I am not certain how it works now but it IS something that will need to be discussed with your solicitor. Sitting in handcuffs doesn't create the correct impression, if that's what could happen.

Don't get too caught up in all the interviewing and statements and the bleakness of how it all looks. It's one giant game of intimidation and harassment. I know everything is brutally raw and real at the moment but take a little time to chill and then sort through things from the beginning keeping everything logical and methodical.

Seek help from the doctor if required. Some happy pills to lift the stress and mood a little.

Thanks for that but all this is so difficult and raw at the moment and as for intimidation your spot on!! Tactics coming into play here I think having expended so much energy on this investigation or maybe the female oic is in for promotion!! The first lawyer of course didn't help - duty solicitor in court at the time - not too sure about the new lawyer to be honest!! Adams whyte & co !! They have applied for full disclosure but as yet nothing has been forthcoming - wonder why?? Surely after all this time they either have evidence or they don't and if they do have it why not bring it forth?? Questions I know no one but the police can answer!!!

[lawlessone2009]

Thanks for that but all this is so difficult and raw at the moment and as for intimidation your spot on!! Tactics coming into play here I think having expended so much energy on this investigation or maybe the female oic is in for promotion!! The first lawyer of course didn't help - duty solicitor in court at the time - not too sure about the new lawyer to be honest!! Adams whyte & co !! They have applied for full disclosure but as yet nothing has been forthcoming - wonder why?? Surely after all this time they either have evidence or they don't and if they do have it why not bring it forth?? Questions I know no one but the police can answer!!!

Do not under any circumstances believe that they have any evidence at all let alone the capability of disclosing it to your legal team... I had the indictment in my hands and a court appearance a week away and we had a 1/4 of the DNA results, few statements and little else... A lack of disclosure is a good thing to be honest and can be played in your favour at a later date.

If your solicitor has indicated that they have sought disclosure then I would say that that is indicative that they are at least 'good' and organised. You could do a hell of a lot worse... Until such times as the prosecution start handing out the information sought there is little that your legal team can do. Everything slots together like a jigsaw and the 'evidence' is the main part and decides the course for any potential trial.

OIC in for a little promotion... Make sure you guys ensure she doesn't get it by taking it on and winning. You can be faced with the most horrendous probability of loosing and then be gifted with a get out of jail free card, things can equally work the other way. Keep an eye on the solicitor, keep an eye on the disclosure and do not be afraid to ask for a little assistance on here...

[Kaz8671]

Do not under any circumstances believe that they have any evidence at all let alone the capability of disclosing it to your legal team... I had the indictment in my hands and a court appearance a week away and we had a 1/4 of the DNA results, few statements and little else... A lack of disclosure is a good thing to be honest and can be played in your favour at a later date.

If your solicitor has indicated that they have sought disclosure then I would say that that is indicative that they are at least 'good' and organised. You could do a hell of a lot worse... Until such times as the prosecution start handing out the information sought there is little that your legal team can do. Everything slots together like a jigsaw and the 'evidence' is the main part and decides the course for any potential trial.

OIC in for a little promotion... Make sure you guys ensure she doesn't get it by taking it on and winning. You can be faced with the most horrendous probability of loosing and then be gifted with a get out of jail free card, things can equally work the other way. Keep an eye on the solicitor, keep an eye on the disclosure and do not be afraid to ask for a little assistance on here...

Thanks for that! Just been to the Big Hotel!! for my second allowed 30 minute visit to find the old lawyer had sent a letter over a week ago (forwarded on from the previous delectable establishment) referencing evidence and saying disclosure would be in the next few weeks!! Possible likelyhood of indictment in November and Trial in December!! Guessing at this point that at least one way or another we get closure!! The funny thing is listed on this "evidence" is my mobile phone ( how do they propose using that against him) he never had any access to it!!! And I know what is on the phone and what has previously been on the phone - and although I'm sure the plod have thoroughly enjoyed looking through our private pics and vids that was between 2 consenting adults and for noones viewing but our own. Just so confused now - surely somewhere along the line they actually have to establish ownership of the property they saw fit to steal from the house ( no list been given or receipt either)????? Questions questions thats all I have at the moment - new lawyer still trying to be brought up to speed at the moment - made more difficult by limited access - prisons are not the best place for booking visits!!!!!! And I know all this goes to the procurator fiscal - will it already be there or does that happen with disclosure - Answers anyone ??????????????????????

[lawlessone2009]

The prosecution are the ones that make all the decisions after the Police are finished and presented the charge.

There will be various external bodies analysing various pieces of potential evidence (DNA, computers, phones etc) and the work can generally take up to 6 months to complete. As it's all fed back the prosecution will generally spend their time looking at it before passing it through to your legal team. By 'spending time' I am indicating that they will be in no hurry at all and may well leave stuff til the very very last minute.

Listing the evidence is really just like listing what they have, they'll cherry pick what they wish to use. Because something is listed doesn't necessarily mean it will be used. There is also scope for agreement before trial in so far as certain pieces of evidence are concerned, this can be a good thing but your solicitor would be the one to advise on this.

Remember, your interpretation of 'evidence' is most likely the same as mine and is completely opposite from the prosecutions. Their idea of evidence beggars belief and to any normal person would not be called evidence...

As for 'property' that was taken... I would keep that one quiet and not go raising any questions. Save it for your solicitor and if possible provide them with a list of what is clearly yours. To me, they've made quite a mistake via 'assumption' and this could, at trial, be used to show how incompetent the actual prosecution has been.

As for the personal stuff on the phones etc. I wouldn't get too wound up about it. I'd imagine some consenting stuff between adults is reasonably 'light' in the wider scope of what some of the digital analysts have seen. Bear in mind they deal with horrific child abuse images and sadistic rape images. You might be, strangely, reminding them that there are normal decent folks out there!

Prisons are horrendous places. The guards seem to forget that visiting people aren't actually accused or convicted... They are all on some form of power trip and seem completely detached from reality. There is the odd occasion when there is a gem though. As for what's happening in your own circumstances, remember that there are legal 'clocks' ticking away. The fact that he is on remand means that there is limited time to get things to trial and do not for one moment believe that the prosecution can simply have extensions granted, it happens but if it happens in your case it needs to be fought and fought hard.

It's hard to see it but it became crystal clear to me. The prosecution and the actual court workers are completely seperate people. Everyone is on a ledge and nobody is given anything for free. The prosecutor can plead 'in the interests of justice' as much as they like but it is increasingly falling on deaf ears. A Sheriff is a walk in the park as they generally allow stuff but if that's the case you HAVE TO get an appeal in before the High Court to anything that happens that shouldn't happen be it extensions to time, lack of disclosure, abuse of process etc.