I was falsely accused and it has made a massive impact on my life, what can I do?

[89iceman]

Hi everyone,

I was falsely accused for raping a girl back in April 2011. The girl and I had not even slept together.

I was arrested and taken into custody where I was held for 18 hours. I was made to strip down to no clothes and had swabs taken from my genitals, fingernails, mouth etc. This made me feel absolutely terrible.

Ever since, it has had a massive impact on my life. I have become very insecure with girls and struggle to be able to have a relationship with the fear of something like it happening again. I have also got myself into financial difficulty because I have turned to drinking quite alot to be able to build any confidence and now that has made a massive problem to my life too.

If I'm honest, I don't know what to do anymore.

Is there anything in place where I can get help or apply for compensation to be able to get my financial situation back on track etc as if this hadn't happened my situation could be completely different.

Thanks for you time.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Ice man

It is unclear from your post how your case was resolved, did you get an NFA ? Many members of this forum have struggled after experiencing an FA , it can destroy your trust and confidence in anything and everything.

Have you approached your GP for help, many people myself included have found them to be very sympathetic and may be able to refer you to counselling or other therapy available.

Being falsely accused undoubtedly changes you for ever but it is important that you don't let it define you or else the FA has won. As for compensation I will leave the answer to this to more knowledgeable members, but I doubt this will be an option. I suppose it's a silly question to ask what happened to the girl that falsely accused you, I would imagine nothing.

Best wishes

Frightened Spouse

[myhome]

Hi 879Iceman - welcome but sorry you have had to find us...

Have you had a resolution to your situation or is it on-going?
So many people who have had a resolution are still suffering from the trauma of it all...have a look on google for signs and symptoms of PTSD ....Also I would advise that you seek professional help in the form of a Talking Therapy. Your GP should be able to refer you to your Community Mental Health Team....
Best Wishes.....MH

[can it get worse]

Hello,

Sorry to hear of your awful experience........... there are far too many people in our society on the receiving end of FA's. The impact it has on our lives is indescribable.

As previously asked...... please would you tell us your current situation.


It is so terrible that your life is still being affected by your experience & I really hope you will begin to feel better soon.

Kind Regards

[89iceman]

I was accused in April 2011 and had the accusation dropped in September 2011. I therefore had to deal with this for 5 months before it was dropped.

I currently work doing what I was doing at the time.

I seem to only be able to get happy when I drink. I always feel like I am never going to be able to get out of this habit because I don't feel confident enough when I don't drink.

Drink has seemed like the only way and has now left me with major financial problems.

[myhome]

I seem to only be able to get happy when I drink. I always feel like I am never going to be able to get out of this habit because I don't feel confident enough when I don't drink.

Drink has seemed like the only way and has now left me with major financial problems.

Hi iceman - using alcohol as a coping strategy is a common one at any stage in this awful process - there probably are very few members who haven't done this....(I have and still do sometimes...)

But, I am sure you know alcohol is a depressant and in the long term will do much more harm than good - not only mentally but physically too (financially you have already discovered...) It is also a vicious spiral - a few glasses would first bring the solace you needed then your body gets used to that and so it's half a bottle then a full bottle then onto spirits and so on - but I am sure you know this.

I must repeat my earlier post and urge you to go and see your GP. S/he will be a very good starting point to helping you to begin your recovery. After 2 years it seems you are unable to do this yourself and there is no shame at all in seeking help - in fact, admitting you need help is a very strong thing to do...there are people who are professionally trained to help folks who are experiencing what you are going through... here's some hugs coming through the ether for you.....
Hugs ....MH

[welshgirl]

Hello Iceman, so sorry to hear of your experience and I can identify with where you are comin from. I too only feel happy and confident after a drink and know how this can take over your life. It is terrible to want to drink to be able to sleep at night. Wishing you all the very best Welshgirl x