HELP! My partner has been accused of sexually assualting a minor.

[Dave]

babygal, please do tell your other half that suicide is NOT an option, from someone who knows and cares. Its going to be a difficult road ahead but all he has to remember is he is the innocent one, the FA is the wrong un.

[babygal2014]

Since Saturday night my partner has not mentioned anymore talk about having suicidal thoughts. He has some very good friends who are supporting him and they have stepped up and made sure that he is not on his own after work and have even cooked him meals. With regards to support for me, my mum has been a great help and despite not being to church for a long time, I found going to church yesterday a positive experience. I was even surprised that when I first opened the Bible given to me, that it was Psalms 35: A prayer for help. I felt this prayer was very relative for what we are enduring and I have passed this prayer on to my partner. I suggest to anyone who is Christian and enduring a similar situation to me or my partner to read this prayer and it may give you some positive strength that I have found in it.

My mum visited me today and we shopping at the local shops. On the way home we bumped into the FA and her friend at a road crossing. She was on the opposite side of the road. When she noticed us she completely panicked. She avoided complete eye contact with anyone of us. She put her head to the complete left so you could only see the back side of her hair and walked across the road. She tried walking as much left as possible to put distance between us. She completely left her friend behind who looked lost about why her friend did that. To me this girls body language was so clear of a child that had done something wrong and I know liars normally will do anything to avoid eye contact. Even if she walked past me and my mum, I would have just ignored her like I did her mum.

[aussieone]

Hi BG,

I have just read through your thread, and had to comment. Our cases are so similar. Just like you we welcomed a troubled teen into our family, only to have these horrible allegations made against my husband. Just like FA, ours came from a troubled family, and has expressed jelously of the relationship between my daughters. She has also made similar allegations against another 2 sisters father, but never reported it.

Regardless of what the DNA comes back as, trust your gut and your motherly instinct. And given that she was in your home, there is the likelihood that there will be some touch DNA.

You will have good days and really bad days, but the coping gets easier. Just like you my husband went through a sucidal stage.

You will recieve plenty of advice and lots of support here.

My advice.

Get a damn good solicitor, screen shot everything from facebook. Keep an eye the daughter who was her friend, as FA stalked our daughter for 6 months causing her to have a breakdown and leave school. She was also seen loitering around the primary school classroom of our youngest daughter.

Take Care
A1 xxx

[myhome]

hi babygal - wanting to PM you but you can't receive them yet...will send you one when you're a full member....

[babygal2014]

Hi myhome, will be looking forward to receiving the PM when I'm able to receive it.

Hi Aussieone,
Thanks for your support. I went and read your posts about your situation and I too agree that we are in a very similar situation. Its unfortunate and I wouldn't want anyone in my situation but also comforting to know that I'm not on my own. I'm confident that my partners forensic results will be fine. They are back on the third week of September and he might possibly know the results when he answers his bail. Hopefully it will be a NFA but I know theres a big possibility he might be rebailed again. I have started building as much evidence as possible that could help with his defence through facebook, and keeping a diary and have even compiled a list of defence witnesses who can comment on the character of the girl before and after the allegation.

[babygal2014]

Last Monday, my partner answered his bail and he was rebailed until November. Hes now allowed to see our daughter twice a week for supervised contact as the forensics came back clear. However, the case has now been passed to the CPS to decide whether to charge or NFA. Apparently there are inconsistencies in her and his statement, to which he hasnt be told.
Just before he was rebailed the girls best friend told her mum that this girl had confided to her that he never touched her but justified her allegation by saying he might have done it to my other two daughters. The girls sister approached me and told me this and this was also confirmed by the friends mum. Well I notified the police as he said he would go and see the mum about this. However, he didnt go see the friend but told the girl and the girls parents.
Saturday the girls best friend came to my house shaken and told me, the girls father had shouted at her and told her off. Telling her she shouldnt have told her mum that, thats shes caused lots of trouble for his daughter with the police and had a right go at her. He made the girl tell her what shes accusing him of. That apparently, he climbed on top of her while she was sleeping and raped her. So now shes changed from him touching her to now raping her.
Then, today I was approached by a school friend of my daughter and she told me that the girl told her that my partner had raped her. So shes started telling kids in the school that he raped her. Which is completely ludicrous cause me and my daughter were in that room that night, we heard nothing, forensics are clear and you could say my partner is blessed and theres no way he could have done that without leaving forensics or causing physical injuries to the girl.
Im going to notify the school tomorrow, the OIC and social services about this as its clear the girl is very confused and is constantly changing her story. I wish there was a way to get this girl and her family to stop spreading this around the neighbourhood and school. The girl has told all of my daughters friends in school now and the mum has phoned up and told the wives of my partners friends. Its so worrying as mud sticks and this kind of rumour fuels all sorts of harassment and violence if it gets in the hands of some local gangs looking for trouble.

[Casehardened]

Apparently there are inconsistencies in her and his statement, to which he hasnt be told.

I wonder if the 'inconsistencies' are that she said he did & he said he didn't?

It is good news about the forensics being clear and the bail conditions being relaxed but sadly the problems the girl's friend is experiencing is a classic example of what happens if conflicting evidence is given to the police instead of to the solicitor: The OIC re-interviews the accuser who then changes their statement!

On the positive side, the deeper the web of lies, the easier to disprove!

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi, it must be hell having her tell everyone at school and her mother also spreading the rumour. Your husband , like everyone else, is innocent until proven guilty, what they're doing is slander. There was a case of a girl putting around such rumours of a boy in her own school. I can't re-call the exact outcome but it wasn't pleasant for her. In view of the potential damage to your daughter (as she's first in line) and to your whole family, it has to be stopped and if it doesn't it may be that you need to be helped to re-locate.
One member has posted a thread on slander, I'd have a look at it, talk about it to the the people you've already mentioned as well as your sol and consider making a complaint to the police.
Good luck!

[babygal2014]

Hi, it must be hell having her tell everyone at school and her mother also spreading the rumour. Your husband , like everyone else, is innocent until proven guilty, what they're doing is slander. There was a case of a girl putting around such rumours of a boy in her own school. I can't re-call the exact outcome but it wasn't pleasant for her. In view of the potential damage to your daughter (as she's first in line) and to your whole family, it has to be stopped and if it doesn't it may be that you need to be helped to re-locate.
One member has posted a thread on slander, I'd have a look at it, talk about it to the the people you've already mentioned as well as your sol and consider making a complaint to the police.
Good luck!

Hi thanks whatsgoingon?
I will have a look at that thread about slander and will look for a solicitor to see what can be done about stopping these rumours. Well I spoke to the headteacher today and he said he will have a word with all the kids in question. Then I spoke to the OIC but he just said he's in court all week and there's not much he can do as the file is now with the CPS. He asked me to pass him the names of the girls and he will speak to them. So I told him the names on the phone but he didn't write them down but asked me to pass them on to him and ended the call. So how am I supposed to pass him the names if he don't write them down? and surely he has the first girls address? He's not taking this serious and I'm starting to see the sad state of affairs of the British police force. The police don't care about whether the accuser is telling the truth or not. All they want is to try and prosecute without the thought that they might actually be innocent. Anyway lets hope these rumours stop being spread very soon!

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi thanks whatsgoingon?
I will have a look at that thread about slander and will look for a solicitor to see what can be done about stopping these rumours.

If you're partner hasn't yet got a solicitor, he needs to find someone who specializes in false allegation and who has a proven track record. I can't emphasise how important that is. Some work on legal aid if he's entitled to it but even if he has to pay one, he needs to get the best he can. Have a look at the thread Specialised solcitors under General Information for one in your area. He'd also be the person to speak to about the rumours etc. I wouldn't bother with plod (except through a solicitor). I'd also keep an eye on your daughter... she must be going through hell.

All the best.

[babygal2014]

My Partner was charged today!

Things have been quite quiet for the past few weeks and abit of normality was coming back and I was beginning to feel numb about the situation we are in. We found out that we are having another baby girl and I even started shopping for xmas for the kids.
Supervised access between my partner and our youngest daughter were going well. He was increased from one to two visits a week. Yesterday on one of his visits his solicitor rang to say the police have come to a decision and that he must go to the police station tomorrow to be charged. He asked how come he was being charged. He was told that the police need the forensics to go to a higher authority in order to be analysed and he needs to be charged in order for this this.
Anyway as the solicitor had failed to reply to any of our messages for weeks now. I told him to change to a specialised solicitor, which he sorted out yesterday after the call. Now today he went to the police station with the old solicitor first and received his charge sheet and has been told he is to go to the Magistrates in 2.5 weeks. The solicitor said that a low level of dna was found in his cuticles but not to worry as this is most likely from contanimation from furniture, clothing or from brief touch, or even from other people and their clothing

OMG all the old emotions have come back and I feel so out of control again. I can't believe that I'm going to have to go through a court trial and be heavily pregnant at the same time. Now my mum no longer wants to do the supervised visits as she thinks hes guilty because he has been charged. She feels they must have something on him to charge him and that the book will be thrown at him as juries will discriminate him for being black. But I know being charged does not mean your guilty. I know 100% that my partner is innocent and that the behaviour of this girl since the allegation has proved this to me even more. Im gutted for my partner, my daughter and our unborn girl. I feel their lives have been ruined by these lies.

I'm so disappointed in the police they never followed up other lines of enquiry until too late, withheld new information from the CPS that weakens the accusers case and have not even taken the statement of my daughter who was asleep next to the girl at the time. They dont even know half the story as my daughter knows a much bigger picture of that night than I do and which is key to his defence. All they care about is their targets and they are just as bad as traffic wardens. They don't care about the truth and I feel no jury is gonna see a black man, with dreadlocks as innocent. They going to assume he looks like a drug dealer when in fact hes a hardworking family man. This world is so cruel!

[can it get worse]

Hi BG,

So sorry to hear the dreaded news. You & your partner must feel totally shocked. Until we experience this, we would never believe this could happen.

I am absolutely shocked that so many charge decisions are being taken in what seems to be so little real evidence. I am confused why they are doing this as surely it cannot come to a guilty verdict. And then this will reflect poorly on the police/CPS. Does anyone have the answer to this?

So disappointed for you both and your children. It makes me so sad for all us on here. Your wonderful news of a new baby is dampened by this whole stupid mess up.

Take care

[babygal2014]

Update

Hi all,
Just wanted to update on how my partners case is going. The news of my partner being charged is started to sink in but the flood of emotions from the first month after the allegation is coming back all over. I'm trying to be positive for him but I'm quietly preparing for the worst. I have told him to write a bucket list of things to do before the trial. In case the jury believe her and he gets sent down. I have read the CPS sentencing guideline and he is looking at minimum 5 - 8 years custodial and being on the register for life.
We went to see his solicitor two weeks ago and I handed over my diary of events including my statement of the night to them. I had Facebook screenshots of the girl the day before the allegation where she has put a picture up of herself with sexy and swagga on it. Then another picture of herself with the word gorgeous a few days after the allegation. But, his solicitor said that Facebook stuff is not really admissible in court and he will probably not use it. This confuses me as I think this is really important in showing this girl thinking shes gorgeous after a supposed sexual assualt.
The solicitor is not concerned about his old solicitor saying low level dna on his cuticles as he said there is no such thing and that its expected some of her dna to be on his hands if she stayed in our home. As it can be transferred from anything in the home that she has touched previously. The important thing is that none of his DNA was found on her body and on her underwear.

Well last Tuesday my partner attended Magistrates for about 15 minutes. The prosecution told the judge their reasoning for the charge was because the nurse that examined her said that its possible she could have been penetrated but to me thats not a definite. They didnt mention dna and I think they would have if they did have anything like that on him. So his trial is going to be based on this girls statement and a nurse saying she POSSIBLY could have.

He has to go to Crown on Tuesday coming and I have received a letter today saying that I'm going to under the witness care of the prosecution. That's fine with me I can only tell the truth of what happened that night but I supposed I can no longer help with the defence part. So I hope his solicitor uses the evidence I have built up for him over the last few months.

One thing that concerns me is that I have read up the PACE ACT and about abuse of process. I found that if a police officer withholds information from the CPS that it can cause a judge to throw out the case or pass it back to the CPS for review. They have not interviewed my eldest daughter who was in the same room that night. Plus they were supposed to do a joint investigation with SS. Yet they have failed to keep in touch with the SS and only when the SS chased up to see what was happening they were told he was charged. so they have not passed to the CPS my childrens statements saying they have never been hurt to the CPS. Plus all the incidents since the allegation that were logged to the police have not been passed on. The OIC said to me that he couldnt pass it on the CPS but he lied as even a suspect or a witness can get in touch with the CPS directly. So when he interviewed a little friend of the girl who was intimidated by the girls father to keep quiet about her disclosing he hadn't done anything he did not pass this on the CPS before they decided to charge him.

The worst thing is that the solicitor believes we are looking at a trial in February and I'm due to give birth in February. So no Christmas with him, him not being able to be at his first daughters 2nd birthday, then me giving evidence at 38 - 40 weeks pregnant and then possibly giving birth alone and having to raise our children on my own for the rest of my life. I just dont see no light at the end of the tunnel and I pray that this don't make it in the papers as thats all I will need on top.

[Casehardened]

He has to go to Crown on Tuesday coming and I have received a letter today saying that I'm going to under the witness care of the prosecution. That's fine with me I can only tell the truth of what happened that night but I supposed I can no longer help with the defence part. So I hope his solicitor uses the evidence I have built up for him over the last few months.

I'm taking this to mean that you will be called to give evidence for the prosecution. There is no reason why you cannot be recalled to the witness box by your partner's barrister and questioned by him about the evidence you have collated, (assuming that this is in fact admissible)

Rights Fighter, one of our senior members and a legal expert always says "there is no property in a witness"!

[babygal2014]

I'm taking this to mean that you will be called to give evidence for the prosecution. There is no reason why you cannot be recalled to the witness box by your partner's barrister and questioned by him about the evidence you have collated, (assuming that this is in fact admissible)

Rights Fighter, one of our senior members and a legal expert always says "there is no property in a witness"!

Hi Casehardenend, I wish that was the case with my partners solicitor. He seems to think that he can't call me as a defence witness if I was summoned as a prosecution witness. Also, that I would not be able to get involved in helping my partner build up his defence from the point I am summoned. He said however, that in cross examination they can ask me leaning questions about the questions the prosecution put to me.