need advice or reassurance.

[scared sh!tless]

Hi. This is my first time on this site.
I've done something stupid. I cheated on my fiancee with another woman. This happened twice in January and once in June. (same woman), I know that was wrong and I ended it with the other woman as I wanted to fix my relationship. This other woman started to send me Facebook messages accusing me of raping her in July, 3 weeks after the last time I slept with her, these messages went on for a few days then nothing for 2 week's. I thought she had dropped the issue as I told her I was terrified, not of a conviction but of loosing my family. Last weekend I finally worked up the courage to block her from my Facebook then on Wednesday she had me arrested. I am completely innocent, it is her word against mine, I have not denied sleeping with her and she claims I got her too drunk to remember the night. No one else was there. luckily my fiancee is standing by me.
I live in Scotland and there is a law about corroboration. I need to know if anyone else has Been in this situation and do you have any advice?

[frightened spouse]

Hi

Really sorry to hear what's happened to you, you must still be in a state of shock and disbelief. There are many members of this forum that have been in or are in similar circumstances so you are not alone, though it feels very lonely at the moment. I will leave the advice to others who will be along shortly more experienced than I and will be able to give insight into the process in Scotland.

It is good to hear that you have the support of your fiancee, you will need to be strong to get through this but you will And this is the best place I have found to gain support and draw on the experiences of others who understand the fear and panic.

Very sad to see another new face but welcome to the forum

[is there justice?]

Hi SS

Sorry to see you here but welcome anyway.

I'm not familiar with the Scottish process but LL1 may be along later to give advice.
Some things matter wherever you are - back up copies of all FB pages (screenshots), texts, emails etc. If there are discrepancies in dates and times, keep that info for your sol, not plod who will only ask the FA to change her statement. Start looking for a good legal team in case you need them.
Lastly, this will be a rollercoaster for you and your loved ones. Insomnia, crying, anxiety, anger etc are all par for the course and in the first few weeks it is almost unbearable. It does ease up though.
Make notes of every little thing that comes to mind. Everything is for your sol NOT the plod.
Lastly, you are lucky your fiancee is standing by you. She will need lots of reassurance from you which won't be easy to give whilst you are going through this. Speaking from experience, supporting you doesn't mean she's totally forgiven you and when the FA is dealt with, you have a lot of work to do.(sorry, lecture over)
Keep coming back as much as you need to, there will be lots more advice coming from more experienced people.

[Izzy]

Sorry to read what's happened SS.

You've already been given the good advice of taking screenshots of any correspondence - especially as the dates don't tally. Keep them for you and your solicitors eyes only.

I'm unsure from what you've said if you've been charged or not and if you had a solicitor at the interview?

The arrest is pretty standard once the accusation has been made and it seems like the police like to pass it on to the PF office where it can sit for quite a long time. If you haven't been charged there will be no bail dates and it will be just become a waiting game.

In the meantime don't speak to the police without a solicitor in the unlikely event they get back in touch and don't be tempted to contact the accuser under any circumstances.

Your fiancée sounds lovely, I can understand her standing by you - the accusation and fall out from it is punishment enough.

[scared sh!tless]

Hi. Thanks for the support. I have been charged but I didn't have sols at the interview. The police told me I was a "person of interest" and that they wanted a statement. They offered me a chance to speak to a solicitor but it would take hours to get one, I just wanted in and out so I gave a statement without one, after which they formally charged me.

[lawlessone2009]

Hi. Thanks for the support. I have been charged but I didn't have sols at the interview. The police told me I was a "person of interest" and that they wanted a statement. They offered me a chance to speak to a solicitor but it would take hours to get one, I just wanted in and out so I gave a statement without one, after which they formally charged me.

Hey,

RELAX.



What 'region' are you in in Scotland?

If you're near Glasgow/Edinburgh then I could give a recommendation for a solicitor.

From what I have read so far it is a case of 'contested consent'. There is nothing to corroborate either parties story as far as you have detailed HOWEVER if you have Facebook messages which could be of value then keep them to yourself, DO NOT GIVE THEM TO THE POLICE (as kindly already mentioned but being restated).

Corroboration is incredibly complex. Legal advice prior to interview would most likely have been the best route as I would've thought a 'no comment' interview would've been the route advised.

It would really be for a solicitor to advise clearly on this BUT there really should be enough evidence to substantiate a 'charge'. I was charged in the 'hope' that DNA would provide the evidence but also with the alternative of past conduct being used, via the Moorov Doctrine, to corroborate the charge. If you haven't got any previous allegations against you then it leaves some question marks as to how they will corroborate the allegation against you...

You are now a 'pawn' in a game. You will be thrown from pillar to post on a whim. You will be regarded as 'immaterial' in the proceedings that will follow, if they follow. You need a legal team and you need one quick. You need a good one!

One other thing... Do not take for one minute that the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscals Office will play fair or by the rules. They messed up horrifically all the way through my case and it wasn't until my foot was virtually in the door for trial that they were stopped and even then they were preaching that they were correct. Avoid any further contact with the Police, it shouldn't happen but if it does then request your solicitor present and insist on saying nothing until they arrive.

Do you have any bail conditions? Are you on 'petition' (involves a private court appearance)?

[scared sh!tless]

The only bail conditions I've been given are to avoid communication with the accuser and stay away from her. I have a court appointed solicitor but he has been highly recommended. I am in the Glasgow area.

[lawlessone2009]

The only bail conditions I've been given are to avoid communication with the accuser and stay away from her. I have a court appointed solicitor but he has been highly recommended. I am in the Glasgow area.

http://www.mccluskeybrowne.co.uk/?page_id=398

This is the man you want...

He's the man that represented me. So thorough that it is scary. The Advocate that he uses is second to none.

By a 'court appointed' solicitor I am assuming that you have appeared in court? Entered a plea of: No plea or Declaration?

[myhome]

Hi SS and welcome to the forum but so sorry to see yet another new member....

sadly your story is an all too common - hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (I'm a woman btw) and that is a motive for a great many unscrupulous women. LL1 will be able to give you lots of advice as he has already - he's been to hell and back twice unbelievably - he speaks very highly of his defence team and although I don't understand the Scottish system I do understand that his team took the prosecution and system apart very successfully.

You are at the beginning of what can be a long but definitely very unpleasant and upsetting journey. Your emotions will be in turmoil and consequently your physical health will probably suffer too - nausea, crying, shaking, lack of sleep, falling asleep during the day, loss of appetite and unhealthy sudden weight loss. I advise you to have a chat with your GP who will be able to offer you advice and support right from the start...

I'd echo the advice you've already been given - note everything you can think of and store it somewhere other than your own pc in case plod take it - similarly your phone re text/voicemail messages etc, and don't talk to the police without a solicitor. You know you have nothing to hide but they have conviction targets to meet and aren't interested in innocence, and giving them info at this stage which could back up your story will just give them the opportunity to lose it or deny they ever had it or take to the FA'er so she can change her story to fit.

Good on your fiancée for standing by you - this will hopefully make your relationship stronger....
Keep strong and keep posting.....

[scared sh!tless]

I had a meeting with my employers today. (I work in a call center) and due to the nature of the offence and that the complainer also works in the same building (not in their same department) I had been suspended until this matter is resolved. At least it's on full pay though and there is nice weather coming up. Trying to keep positive :-)

[is there justice?]

Hi SS

Sorry you have been suspended but if you work in the same place, I can somewhat understand it from your employer's pov.

Hopefully the Scottish system moves a lot faster than down here. Have you any very trusted friends at work? Is she dating, socialising, happy? Do you have any emails, handwritten notes etc that you need to retrieve?

I hope you are coping with the shock, it will ease off a bit.

[scared sh!tless]

My employers allows me to retrieve certain messenger conversations dated after the alleged incident that shows we were speaking as friends and that she helped Me rewrite my cv. In fairness my employers have been great and I can understand there position. We don' have any mutual friends in work but she was still going there even though there was a chance she could bump into me, no complaint was made through through work an. According to her Facebook page she is still going to the gym every week and still socialising normally.

[frightened spouse]

Hi SS

Glad to hear you are trying to be positive but I would imagine that you're still in shock so don't be suprised by the extreme emotions that you may feel. We've all been there or still are, some days full of fear others when you feel volcanic anger at the injustice of your position. It is all normal given the circumstances you find yourself in, are anything but normal.

Apart from your work emails and contact records do you still have any personal email or text communication with your FA throughout the period and after your contact with her ? If you deleted any texts or emails they are still in theory retrievable from a phone. I have recently sent my phone away to retrieve texts sent by my husband's FA which I think will be relevant. I haven't had the results back yet so I hesitate to recommend the service I am using but should know more by the end of this week.

Best wishes
FS

[lawlessone2009]

Sounds like you have a decent employer.

Probably best not to be at work just now anyway, will no doubt be near impossible to concentrate on much other than the allegation. Be careful it doesn't take over your life, I fell into a false sense of belief that I had control over it but it sneaks in and takes over. It's a nasty whirlpool of emotions and thoughts which will leave you exhausted and angry.

A yo-yo of emotional abuse.