Me and my boyfriend have been faulsely accused

[HellsBells]

Hello. I am 22 and currently at university. My boyfriend is 25.

3 weeks ago we were both seperately arrested.
The officers took me from my student house saying I was under arrest for indicent assualt. I was absolutely gobsmacked and thought it might be a joke! I have never assualted anyone in my life.

I couldnt tell my housemate and I left with them feeling utterly shocked and confused.
The police were reluctant to give me any further details although they did say it was an incident that happened when I was at home. (my birth town)

I knew straight away what this was about and knew my boyfriend could be in worse trouble.

At the police station I was told that actually the suspition was that I sexually assualted my best friend (at the time - femail, 21)I was searched and put in a cell for 3 hours while my local police drove up to question me. I just didnt know what to think. I refused to see a solicistor purely because I felt no need.

Finaly, my cell was unlocked and I was taken in to questioning for 2 1/2 hours about an incident that happened on September 17th 05. My statement was very messy. I didnt know where to start and I couldnt stop shaking. I couldnt remember every detail about the night because of the alcohol consumed and the fact that it happened 6 months prior.

I had know my best friend for 19 years (playgroup, primary school, attended different secondary schools but reunited whilst at uni in close by towns.)
We lived out of each others pockets! I never had any doubt to distrust her but looking back she was extremely manipulative over me and always seeked my attention. I would drop anything anytime she called.

We almost certainly went out every w.end!
Anyway, that summer she had met a guy (S) and become completely infatuated with him to the point that she didnt leave him alone. Completely obssesed she would turn up at his house in the early hours of the morning after a night out (with different friends) and expect to stay over. She text him numerously most days and especially when she was drunk. They started off being suggestive to the point that if he didnt reply or said he wasnt interested she became foul mouthed and sent abuse. There affair had only lasted a couple of weeks and she wasnt used to rejected. She was spoiled rotten ever since she was young.

Anyhow, S had a best mate (N) so the plan (her plan) was to set me up with him and then S had no way of escaping her.
Things went to plan - N was interested me and soon started a relationship.
6 months later - its September. My best friend went on holiday for 3 weeks with another girlfriend. She returned the 17th and I was aware that we would be going out to show off her new town and try her luck with S.

So she got back early evening and we went out. We both drunk a lot, champayne cocktails, wine, spirits! And we hadnt planned on how we were getting back. I had driven so we would probably leave my car. Time passed and we hadnt bumped in to S and N.

So I rang N. It went to voicemail. My friend took the phone off me and said 'I want you r massive c**k. Then we hung up. I thought it was a little bit odd that she would flirt with my boyfriend in front of me but didnt take it to heart. 10 minutes later we had found them downstairs in the same bar.

Anyway - after S continued to ignore her. She decided to buy 12 shots. I drank 1, N drank 1 and she drank the rest before stumbling at the bar.
N and I decided it was time to go home. We all linked arms and walked to my car. My friend took off her trousers saying she needed to wee. We got her in the car before she could even try and N drove us back to his mums as it was the nearest - 10 minutes away. Mine and my best friends house were both at least 25 mins away.
It was a stupid thing to do. We did not think about our safety at the time.

We crept upstairs when we got in. His house is very small. 2 up, 2 down. His mum was sleeping on the sofa and his dad was in 1 of the 2 bedrooms. We crept past his mum and upstairs to his bedroom. Me and my friend lay on the bed. N decided he would take the floor as his mum was on the couch.

Anyway - joking and giglging for a while- the idea of a 3-some came up. I cannot remeber who instigated but my best friend consented saying 'yeah - Id shag N'.
So thats how it started. Me and my freind started kissing and then N joined in. He had sex with both of us. He kept asking if we were ok with things and it continued for a while. Not sure how long but probably half hour or so.
My best friend apperared to be upset at one point. I asked if she was ok. In my statement I told the police that N got off immeditely after I had said that. She got up and went to the bathroom. When she came out in Ns dressing gown she said she wanted to go home. I went downstairs with her and out to her car where we cried drunkenly together and she phoned another friend to pick her up.

I knew it had been a mistake. She was my best friend and we were too close to have tried a 3-some. After she left I went to bed.

Next morning I picked her up from the other friends and we chatted. We joked about how aweful we looked. Our make-up and hair were wrecked. We went back to mine, got in to my bed, had tea and toast and chatted a little more and then slept off our hangovers. Things were ok for a few weeks. We agreed to put it behind us.
Then one day she turned and said if I didnt leave N she would have nothing more to do with me. More abuse followed. Initially I wrote back and tried to reason with her but she became horrid. She told me to tell N to stop spreading rumours around the village that he had had a 3-some. Her reputation was obviously the only thing on her mind.

I chose then to ignore her messages thinking she would cool and we would sort things out. However it only fuelled her. In January, she went to the police.

In her statement she had twisted things I had said that night. Comments I had made about her perfume and suggested I basically fancied her. Certainly not the case. We had shared beds for over a year - only because we both had double beds at our parents houses so it was not out of the ordinary that we would share Ns bed.

I am not denying that the whole experience was regretable on all accounts. Im glad things stopped when they did.

Although she claims to have passed out and woke with N on top of her. She also mentioned that she thought she had been drugged.

I am at my wits end. I know I havnt done anything wrong and I can 100% say my boyfriend did not rape her because I was there. I saw and heard with my very own eyes and ears what happened that night.
The whole thing was completely consented, verbally before and through out as my boyfreind constanttly asked if we were ok.

There had been times in the past that she had tried to split us up. I 'wasnt allowed' to socialise at all with S, N's best friend and I was always feltin the middle. Although N didnt have anything against my best friend in the slightest.

I sometime wonder whether she had planned for that to happen. To cry rape would surley get us in trouble and split us up. Afterall, I got something out of her misfortune and she couldnt just be happy for me.

We are on bail until 20th April. The weeks are dragging and my boyfriend is changing for the worse. He could lose everything as he already has a criminal record.

I am so scared. I am already seeking counciling for depression and an eating disorder which led to self harming. With this hanging over my head I feel ever more helpless. I am scared for the both of us. There are such evil people in this world. I am so glad to have found this site now because I need support and advice all the way.

Please, if anyone can help I would appriciate it so much. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/helpsmilie.gif[/img]

[Saffron]

Hello Hells Bells

First of all, my sincerest best wishes for you. Many people who post here know the horror of what you are suffering, and you have our sympathies.

Right, i don&#39;t want to scare you, but the first thing you need to do is get yourself a solicitor. I completely understand why you didn&#39;t take one when you were first questioned, but this is potentially a big mistake. Choose one that specialises in sex crimes. Contact FASO (False Allegations Support Organisation) www.faso.org.uk and they will be able to give you a list of specialised solicitors in your area. Under no circumstances should you go back to the police without a solicitor, it is essential that you have representation.

unfortunately, the police/cps do not need any "proof" that you friend is telling the truth - if her story is strong and she appears credible, her word is enough for them to take it to court. once in front of a jury, it becomes incredibly difficult to persuade them she is being malicious....they will look at her and think "well, something must have happened otherwise she wouldn&#39;t be here..."

Have you kept any of the nasty messages your friend sent you? they could prove very valuable, and provide evidence that she has a grudge against you and your boyfriend. Unfortunately, cases like this boil down to who is the most credible in front of others, so if you have any evidence that she has lied in order to gain attention in the past, you must give it to your solicitor.

You also need to visit your GP, and be referred for counselling. you will need to be really strong to fight this one. My husband suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when he was accused, and he still (2 and a half years on) has not fully recivered from it.

Strange though it may seem, your depression and self harming tendencies will not , generally, help your defence.

if the "victim" has been self-harming, it is evidence if her "trauma", but as the accused, your self harm is likely to be twisted by the prosecution as evidence of your guilty conscience.

Good luck for bail later this month - lets hope there are no charges brought, but you do need to be prepared for either an extension of your bail, or for charges of some sort. If there is anything I can do, please feel free to email me.

Saffron

[HellsBells]

Thank you Saffron.

I will call the helpline tonight. I did explain to the police the reasons she has this vendetta over me and I told them about a reccent lie she wanted me to go along with in order to impress S.

I am completely compared for the worst. I think my statement might have let me down because I was so confused and shocked that i had been brought in that I forgot many things I should have said that would have explained a lot more. I dont think I thought it would be taken seriously until I read others posts.

I did not keep any messages and I barred her number from my phone so I could have been sent more I do not know about.

Luckily, my family and my boyfriend&#39;s are completely supportive and I do not have to cope alone. They will be behind us all the way if it does go to trial. Although they keep reassuring me things will be fine. I just hope they are taking it seriously.

In some ways, this is making me a stronger person. It has put my problems and fears into perspective. It sounds so silly, but the other day, I managed to pick up a big spider. The fear of my future being in the hands of someone else conquers all. I have realised that there is nothing more important than family and friends and we have become so much closer in a matter of weeks.

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger I guess. I cant even believe the words are coming out of my mouth. I have been so negative before. I thought my coursework was a struggle. I thought my weight was an issue. I hated myself.

But I know deep down, Im not a bad person. I havent done anything wrong and I can live with myself for that.

Anyway - back to reality. I have researched into the whole process and read article after post after essay&#33;
I cant see the police/cps charging one of us and bailing the other so I guess whatever happens, we&#39;ll be in it together. Im assuming sexual assualt is on the same level as rape - im not sure though.

Thank you for posting me though. I really appreciate it. It makes a difference that someone understands how much it hurts.
I hope one day you and your husband will finally recover.

There is so much to live for.
&#39;Dont let the b*****ds grind you down&#39; - thats what my dad keeps telling me.
Ill keep you informed on the latest.

Thanks again xxx