husband falsely accused of historic sexual assault by step daughter

[worriedgirl]

thanks FS I will definitely hold my head high will be very hard though. thank you for posting your experience with the school I feel a little better. those people who let you down should feel uncomfortable for there behaviour and I guess I will find out who my friends really are.

[breakmyheart]

going back to school

Had a terrible day yesterday as the phone forensics company returned my husband's phone with no data and didn't even have the courtesy to inform us why, very unhelpful. I am not a very techie person at the best of times but it has been left to me to contact the phone company about pass codes to access the data and I really feel out of my depth, all the jargon goes right over my head ! Haven't a clue what I'm asking them about. But determined not to give up.

Husband was on the ceiling , he was so frustrated, I kept pointing out that as he hadn't been charged there was no urgency and that he may not be charged ( fingers crossed ) but didn't really get through to him as he is feeling very negative.

Mixed feelings about the children returning to school next week. Before I found this site I never realised how long these matters drag on for so I had assumed there would be some resolution by the end of the summer holidays. I confided in a friend that I occasionally meet for coffee today and she was astonished at the length of time we are meant to struggle on in limbo.

I am very fortunate that I am very anonymous at one of the schools attended by my children so it is not a concern but at another school it is a completely different story. For a couple of years I had employed on a private basis a number of members of staff to help me in the home with my disabled daughter at very attractive rates of pay, I literally had staff queuing up offering to work. When the storm that is FA broke, I had hoped that they would be able to facilitate supervised visits during the week to enable my children to see their Dad, the social worker was more than happy with this.

However they all refused and walked out on me. Just goes to show you can't buy loyalty. I hate having to go into that school building and face people that let us down , but I think they are more uncomfortable than me knowing how badly they have behaved. One girl was so embarrassed she tried to climb into a stationery cupboard when she saw me enter the classroom.

Even the headteacher has turned into an ostrich and prefers scribbled notes as a form of communication rather than phonecalls or face to face conversations and they call themselves professionals ! Having said that one of the nurses that oversees my daughter's care has been fantastic she comes out to see me every few weeks to see how we are coping.

To Can't Give Up, Babygal, worriedgirl and all the other Mum's doing the school run next week, hold your heads up high and be strong sending and virtual hugs

Hi,

Feeling for you as you face even more agony and torment. Isnt it amazing how others are already passing silent opinion and have no consideration for you all as a family and passing judgement on your hubby without knowing the truth and facts. It is terrible that your daughter now faces certain neglect from those whom she had begun to be familiar with and trusted and thank goodness the care lady has kept up her role and continues the support that you all need .
Even with family or close friends that support you , im sure you have felt so alone with your inner worries and fears and still so many thoughts that echo in your mind day and night. You are so proud of your family and never let others beat you or feel shame and find that little extra to battle on .Perhaps telling your self "what the hell do you know about our problems" might help you through next week and beyond.A cruel lesson to discover who your friends are and shame on them for persecuting you in such ways.

My wife was fortunate with our little girls playschool (ss told her that she has to inform them about me) an the leader who has childcare capacity was very supportive and outraged as to the allegations and offered the highest opinion of me and what a great dad I was .Then within a matter of weeks my wife moved away from the area to be close to me , with the determination that one day I could see the children and I would be free to be together .....

I am no expert on data and would I be correct in thinking the police have examined the mobile phones , as they certainly confiscate them and pcs from almost everyone? thus having obtained any relevant evidence should there be any, and despite the phones im sure your legal team must have started to build up a collection of defence details in the event the worse could happen.

Out hearts and kindest thoughts are with you and never lose sight of who and what you are . This journey has shown your courage and spirit and im sure you have that extra fight and there is plenty here that will help you through.
Take care and keep us posted ,
B.m h

[frightened spouse]

Hi BMH

Lovely to hear from you as always. I'm not too worried about my disabled daughter I am sure she will be well cared for at school, as if they didn't, they know I would be down on them like a ton of bricks.

My daughter's condition means she is totally oblivious to everything that is going on around her so she is totally unaffected. She lives in the moment and has no mental capacity to dwell on things, she has no anxiety which is in some ways an inspiration to me. I find it much harder to cope with the affects on my other children who can't help being aware of how things are different.

The police never took our computers or phones and I realise they are not going to waste their scarce resources on helping the defence to expose the liar, so we are taking it upon ourselves, should we ever need such evidence.

Best wishes

FS

[dexterblue]

False Rape Allegation

I am so glad I found this forum. There is alot of information for people who are victims of crime but hardly any for people who have been accussed and then the CPS do not prosecute due to lack of evidence. My son was accused of rape of a distant family member who claimed he groomed her from the age of 10, he would have been 11 and a half then, but he didnt even know her then, and it carried on until she was 15, there is only 18 months age difference between the two, him being older. She even wrote a letter to us saying that in light of the saville enquiry and speaking to alot of people she felt she had to speak out about what had happened to her 10 years ago. The devastation this has had on our family is enormous. The claims she made were just fantasy, but she does have mental health issues, which she has now blamed on what supposidly happened to her. She gave names of people for the police to interview, some of which they did, but those who could dispute her claims were not interviewed which worried us. Anyway he was bailed, then rebailed but has been told that the CPS were not going to prosecute due to lack/no evidence. As he was told before he is due to answer bail what happens now. Will he get something in writing, the police rang to tell him that there would be no charges and his solicitor is on annual leave.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Dexterblue

Welcome to the forum happy to hear the CPS are not proceeding with your son's case but can appreciate the toll it has taken on your whole family. It is my understanding that you would normally get a letter but quite often they are in no rush to do so, I am sure that your solicitor will have answers when they return from A/L .But it sounds as if the matter is over as far as they are concerned so you are supposed to just get on with your lives which many members on this forum have found challenging as the impact of being falsely accused can not be underestimated. Out of interest how long did it take from the allegation being made to the CPS decision ?

Wishing you all the best in moving on with your lives

FS

[dexterblue]

False accusation

Thanks. As a new member its great to communicate with others who have faced the ordeal. You are right regarding the get on with your life because when my son was contacted by the police to tell him of the CPS decision he asked her what he could do now about the fact he was falsely accused and as a result is now on medication to help him cope, his life has been turned upside down, as has his immediate families, only to be told that he should just get on with his life. He then asked what recourse he had towards the person making the false claim and was told to get in touch with his solicitor if he wanted to pursue the matter. He told me that she seemed astonished he would want to address the issue. He was first bailed at the end of June to return August, which he did and was then rebailed to appear in October, so judging from this forum, fairly quickly. Like I said the police didnt even bother to interview people that she had implicated in her claim which we thought strang.

[myhome]

Hi dexterblue and welcome though sorry to welcome yet another new face....
Please would you open a new thread and we can reply on there and give you advice and support....MH

[cantgiveup]

Hi,

I relate to so much of what you are saying about the fear of the school run - to be honest i have always found it a little intimidating, but after what has happened it has been absolutely horrific. Our FA began during the Easter Holidays and although dreading going back to school I thought if I kept my head down (ie didnt get out of the car!!) people would realise i did not want to talk how wrong was I? The first day after the holiday the mothers surrounded my car and were firing question after question at me, these are people I only know to pass polite conversation at the school gates. It was horrific. I found the summer term very hard, I had a racing heart on the way to every pick up, sweats, it was awful. The main problem being I am not able to say anything and the accuser has been very vocal with her lies. I live in Scotland so we have been back at school for a few weeks, things are loads better, I managed to get myself together a bit and so much time has passed that people have moved on, there is some other poor soul the subject of their gossip.

Hold your head high, believe in your strength, and remember we should really only value the opinions of people who mean something to us....

Good luck and take care. xxx

[can it get worse]

Hi FS.............I've tried to PM you but think you need to 'delete' some of your messages as it is full.

Hope you are ok.

[cantgiveup]

Hi FS

How are you? Hope you and your partner are getting through this best you can, wishing you all the best.

CGU xxx

[frightened spouse]

Case thrown out

Hi just wanted to thank all those that have supported me over the last 11 months as today my husband's case was thrown out and we were informed he was to get a not guilty verdict and we won't have to go to trial next month as planned.

It has been an emotional rollercoaster from the day the police knocked on the door last May and ordered my husband to leave within an hour. We took another massive hit when he was charged in October and none of the defence disclosure came through until February time so for many , many months we had very little detail regarding what she had alleged. Chris Saltrese put together an excellent defence response for the pcmh at the end of Feb and it was from this point onwards that the case started to unravel. Our barrister Tania Griffith had a behind the scenes meeting with the CPS barrister who agreed to recommend the case should be discontinued but it wasn't until this morning that we got the news that it was finally over. Just huge relief feel like a deflated balloon and very disorientated so will leave it there except to say thank you again

[Cat]

Fantastic news. So pleased for you.

[Casehardened]

What great news and thank you for updating as this is good for members still going through the process

What a tribute to your legal team that they got the case discontinued after charge!

[is there justice?]

Fabulous news! I hope you can all get back to normal soon, whatever normal is. It should never have happened but I hope you can put it all behind you eventually. Best wishes for a happy future

[RFLH]

so pleased to read this great news! Its going to take a good while for it to sink in - so go with your emotions and be kind to yourselves.