husband falsely accused of historic sexual assault by step daughter

[frightened spouse]

Hi Break my heart

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I hope that over the last few weeks you have been able to spend precious time together with your wife and children to begin the healing process.

I don't believe that I will be interviewed as the OIC has stated the investigation is concluding so I don't know whether to take this as a positive or not. She (OIC) knew from the outset that I was 100 % behind my husband as I accompanied him to the police station had a brief conversation and presented her with a lengthy statement detailing the background to the relationship breakdown with my daughter which we had run past the sol first. With hind sight and with what I know of the police now I don't know if that was a wise move

I don't know how you coped being prevented from seeing your children for such a protracted length of time, we have been relatively lucky I don't know if this may be due to the fact that my family has had extensive contact over the years with ss as we have a severely disabled child that requires constant 1:1 care, so we are not an unknown quantity. In fact I believe that my husband is the unwitting collateral damage in this false accusation as my daughter is trying to destroy me by removing my husband from the home to make what is a difficult situation in normal circumstances impossible to manage.

Anyway I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of destroying our happy family unit, no matter how much of a struggle it is. My kids enjoyed a supervised visit from their Dad today and he brought them a beautiful kitten to try and cheer us all up and provide some distraction. My son has been particularly hard hit and he misses his Dad hugely during the week but we are coping... just.

Best wishes

Frightened Spouse

[myhome]

Lovely post b.m.h

[myhome]

Hi FS - it's so much more difficult when children are involved....I'm sure the kitten will be lovely for them and will constantly remind them of their dad.....
"just" coping is very familiar for lots of us - but this gets stronger and stronger as times passes and you learn and find out many more coping mechanisms.....we've all got different ways of coping and can give you lots of them if you would like....MH

[is there justice?]

I just don't know how you cope with the added hurt and pressure of limited (or no) contact with children. Luckily mine are over 18 now but even they are affected.

FS, that little kitten is beautiful and I am sure it will prove a distraction even when climbing your curtains

Keep your chin up FS and BMH - hopefully all will be resolved soon.

[frightened spouse]

Hi MH and ITY

Thanks for your replies. The picture is a library picture as I'm not very techie and don't know how to upload from a camera but it looks like my kitten.

[breakmyheart]

Love the cat

Hi Break my heart

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I hope that over the last few weeks you have been able to spend precious time together with your wife and children to begin the healing process.

I don't believe that I will be interviewed as the OIC has stated the investigation is concluding so I don't know whether to take this as a positive or not. She (OIC) knew from the outset that I was 100 % behind my husband as I accompanied him to the police station had a brief conversation and presented her with a lengthy statement detailing the background to the relationship breakdown with my daughter which we had run past the sol first. With hind sight and with what I know of the police now I don't know if that was a wise move

I don't know how you coped being prevented from seeing your children for such a protracted length of time, we have been relatively lucky I don't know if this may be due to the fact that my family has had extensive contact over the years with ss as we have a severely disabled child that requires constant 1:1 care, so we are not an unknown quantity. In fact I believe that my husband is the unwitting collateral damage in this false accusation as my daughter is trying to destroy me by removing my husband from the home to make what is a difficult situation in normal circumstances impossible to manage.

Anyway I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of destroying our happy family unit, no matter how much of a struggle it is. My kids enjoyed a supervised visit from their Dad today and he brought them a beautiful kitten to try and cheer us all up and provide some distraction. My son has been particularly hard hit and he misses his Dad hugely during the week but we are coping... just.

Best wishes

Frightened Spouse

Hi fs,
I cant help but feel so much for you now I am aware of your terrible position , with two little ones wondering when daddy will be home.As you are aware my wife had the same problems and trying to do so much to hold things together and yet left to compose herself . She found strength even through her tears and us husbands rely on our loved ones to keep going. You too will find that courage and always no you are in this together and fight the pain and whatever is thrown at you until the end.

Never forget there are plenty of genuine people here to help you through dark times as well as just a chat. my wife has been so moved by this site and the all to many sad tales that she has offered to talk to anyone who wants support or advice .
Please be assured that any visits with the children will mean the world to your hubby and the children never forget and although it is far from normal home life it is better than going without. for me it was the hardest thing ever and so so hurtful being a father at a distance or a risk as the police phrase us!
The cat melts my heart .... we have 3 already so I sent the funds for them to get a puppy to remind them of me (I hardly have four legs and a tail )but we know the sentiment behind it.

We still send our prayers for you and many others and worry that you keep your health up and eat the right things as you need even more strength to cope with all that you do.

Sending you lots of cat treats and our sincere best wishes for a speedy and successful outcome,
regards b.m.h

[frightened spouse]

Hi having another shaky day paralysed by panic.

My husband received an email this morning stating his case was being passed on to the CPS even though the police have shown no interest in anyone prepared to make statements in his defence, it was what I was expecting but he has taken it really badly and is now convinced that the FA has been planning this for years, something I have my doubts about but his paranoia is really kicking in.

There is nothing I can say to reassure him, and the anxiety is totally crushing. Just feel terrible

[sparks]

Its a sad but TRUE fact the Police have no interest in looking for any evidence to support your husbands defence, their interests are in making a case against him, if you or your husband know of someone who may be able to offer evidence in your defence give your legal team their contact details, keep strong.

sparks

[frightened spouse]

Thanks Sparks, really appreciate the reply but you know only too well it really wears you down to the point you feel despair that you never thought possible.


How are you getting on ? Any developments ?

[Boys don't cry]

Sparks is right about the police.

Their priority is to convict and defence is a forbidden word.

The CPS might not find enough evidence to charge and if your husbands unfortunately gets charged,
you will receive the final disclosure and will be able to read all the statements.

You know your daughter more than anyone and will be a great witness for him.

Even if the dates are vague, you might remember that your husband was at work on a different shift or you were on holidays or somewhere different.

I am sure you will find some evidence.

Keep strong and faith.

[frightened spouse]

Hi BDC

Thank you for your reply. The injustice of the system is so frightening, surely if they were to look at evidence we already have that my daughter has fabricated this, it would make their jobs easier. But they just push ahead mindlessly following their procedures, there is nothing even handed about the way many cases are handled.

My husband's sol thinks the CPS will take around a month to make their decision but I think it will be considerably longer than that and that after three months we are probably at the half way point, which is a horrible prospect but I realise is nothing compared to the length of time some have to wait.

[sparks]

Thanks Sparks, really appreciate the reply but you know only too well it really wears you down to the point you feel despair that you never thought possible.


How are you getting on ? Any developments ?

it does wear you down, but you have to dig deep down and find hidden reserves, because why should we accept that that is not right, and some times you will find comfort when you least expect it, Ifelt like giving up so many times I had some dark days and wrote goodbye letters, but I take my picture of my two beautiful children from my wallet and look at it, and it gives me the little energy to take me to another day,
No news yet, its like sitting on death row I imagine, be strong God bless,

Sparks,

[HKM20]

Hello

I had this 10 months ago and my partner has now been charged today (again total fabrication) they didnt take the computers, phones or anything and even the social services didnt even come out to us. I know how you are feeling its like our lives are on hold, i have done nothing but cry today because the thought of losing my partner is too much to bear!

[HKM20]

Hi having another shaky day paralysed by panic.

My husband received an email this morning stating his case was being passed on to the CPS even though the police have shown no interest in anyone prepared to make statements in his defence, it was what I was expecting but he has taken it really badly and is now convinced that the FA has been planning this for years, something I have my doubts about but his paranoia is really kicking in.

There is nothing I can say to reassure him, and the anxiety is totally crushing. Just feel terrible

we had the same too they didnt want to talk to anyone we mentioned said it didnt matter!

[is there justice?]

At least it prevents them from getting the FA to change their statement but if they did their job properly in the first place, it would save hundreds of thousands of pounds of tax payers' money.