my patners trial starts tomoorow

[worriedgirl]

I was given hope when I found this forum that there is justice out there. I didn't think there was anyone else out there in the same situation. I am so worried for my partner his trial starts tomorrow after 2years and 4 months waiting we are both terrified. He was accused of raping his niece it has turned our lives upside down he had to move out as we have 2 young children together. He was on bail for 1yr and 7months before being charged. when he was charged his work suspended him and then made him redundant he has lost so much we are hoping this nightmare will be over soon. His case has been joined to another family members as they have been accused by the same person as well as his family member being accused by 3 other people. We are both worried that this will affect his case.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi worriedgirl, welcome to the forum. So sorry you find yourself on here, so late in the day. I just want to pick up on this:

His case has been joined to another family members as they have been accused by the same person as well as his family member being accused by 3 other people. We are both worried that this will affect his case.

Are the allegations against your partner supposed to have taken place at the same time as the other family member? Is this why they're being tried together? From what you say, his relative has other charges against him which are nothing to do with your partner. Is that correct? If it is, I would have thought there's a definate case for them NOT to be tried together as this could stem confusion in the mind of the jury. I think it's very important to discuss this with his barrister first thing in the morning.

I think the best advice I can give at this late stage is for your partner to be himself, believe in himself, speak the truth, and be determined to prove his innocence. If things are distorted by the prosecution , keep insisting that that's incorrect. The accused is allowed to consult with his barrister throughout the procedings and it's worth having some pen and paper with him in case he wants to take notes or write messages.

Have a look at the stickies on going to court etc under 'General Information'

It's going to be a gruelling few days, try to take time out and rest when you can. I wish all the very best.

[worriedgirl]

hi, he has one charge against him and the only connection to his family member is they have both been accused by the same person no connection in dates. There was a hearing this morning to seperate the case but the judge denied and said it has to carry on together one reason being it would be unfair to put the witness through 2 trials. Thank you for your advice.

[can it get worse]

Hello WG,

Awful to read about you and your partner's situation. I'm new here myself so cannot offer you much advice in respect of the allegation. I can only confirm that I will be thinking of you both tomorrow and trust that the truth will prevail. I have read other threads on this forum and it advises that it is important to look at the jury although I'm sure that your barrister has already given you plenty of advice. I wish that you get thru tomorrow and the next few days with success and that the jury sees the accuser to be what she is. She may well trip herself up?

[worriedgirl]

thank you its so nice to know there are people out there who understand. unfortunately my partner has to sit through all his family members charges before they get to his on the end. the trial is predicted to last 4 weeks which is a nightmare. his barrister seems confident that there is a lot of evidence to put holes in the witnesses statement and as the accusations are historic the only evidence is her statement. Im hoping my partner will cope the whole ordeal has knocked his confidence andhe has suffered with depression. it has been tough on us but we have got by trying to keep thing normal for the kids.

[whatsgoingon?]

4 weeks.... I feel so sorry for you. It seems grossly unfair that the judge refused to seperate the cases out. Hopefully your barrister he/she should be able to keep the two things seperate from the jury's mind, but it seems unbelievable that he should be made to sit in to the end when the first charges have got nothing to do with him.
You might find it helpful to take anti-anx or tablets for depression while this is going on. Do anything eg hot bath, massage, walks etc which are going to give you a bit of comfort and help you relax during this period. Keep coming back.

Keep strong

[brokenman81]

At least he's got his rock (you) to go through this with. Just be braced to be branded a monster at the beginning of the trial (there's always a down part of the trial as my barrister told me and that's at the start), you will feel helpless as they read out and play all of the evidence, but once that's over the fightback begins, especially when you are giving evidence. The Prosecution will twist things, but don't react hastily to the things they say. My prosecutor got totally wound up, as I stuck to the truth!!

Good Luck and stay strong!!!

[worriedgirl]

Thanks brokenman81. we are going to take one day at a time and get through this hopefully they will see he is telling the truth. We have kept going for the kids we have managed to keep the situation from them as they are only 4 and 6 but that has been stressful enough. I really hope this goes the right way as I don't want to have to tell them there dads in prison it would totally devastate them.

[is there justice?]

Hi WG

By the time you read this the first day will be over so you'll be shattered and drained. Four weeks sounds dreadful but if your partner is cleared at the end of it then you can start re-building your lives together. At least it's an end to the uncertainty. Take good care of yourselves mentally and physically

[is there justice?]

Meant to add, it's good that you are there right behind your partner though it's almost as bad for you so make sure you also have some support.

[myhome]

Hi Wg - a truly awful ordeal for you both and your children. asking to visit you for strength courage and justice....please keep us posted with how things are going and we can support you both.......MH

[worriedgirl]

Not had a good day today my partner attended his first day of trial only for it now to be postponed until march as one of the key witnesses for the other person on trial is no longer able to give evidence for health reasons. so disappointing thought we were at the last hurdle. One positive is the judge changed his bail conditions so he can now live with us as long as he is always supervised by me with the children although before he moves in we've got to get social services to agree and change our contact agreement. I feel so down by the time march comes this will have been hanging over us for 3yrs feels like it will never be over. Thanks for everyone's kind words and advice it is much appreciated.

[brokenman81]

You always have to take the positives out of the negatives!!

This is a real positive!! The Judge would have saw the evidence and has deemed, based on that (possibly?), that there's nothing to prove your partner a threat.

Looks very good, although another 7 months of torture to put up with. At least you are back together and can start to live normally until this debacle is over!!

The strength your partner will get from having you and the children under the same room will be immense.

Stay strong!!!

[is there justice?]

It must be awful once you are prepared for the trial to once again face delays but BM makes an excellent point and I hope you are re-united as a family soon.

[can it get worse]

Oh no - that's terrible for you all - another 7 months is a long time to wait but you have come this far & you will find the strength to get to March (even tho sometimes it must feel you're not finding strength).

This horrible waiting seems to be typical for all people in these situations. I would never really have described myself as strong & hate every minute of this. But we have no choice but to stay strong and carry on. Your children will get you thru this and you have no option but to focus on them and praise yourself greatly for each day.

Try to concentrate on other things. I know that's hard - I tell myself that but just want to scream as I feel I am having to go thru this ordeal due to the vindictive actions of another person.

Keep in touch with us.