My 16 year old son arrested for rape

[Scared Mum]

Hi - at 6am this morning, two police officers arrived on our doorstep and arrested my 16 year old son on suspiscion of rape! We spent the next 10 hours at the station having interviews, swabs, combings and so much more! I can't begin to tell you how harrowing this whole experience was as I have never been in a Police Station let alone a Custody Suite!! The whole case appears to rest on forensic evidence from the bedding, clothing, laptop and mobile phone they took away with them. No forensic match, no case! But if there is a match, he will be charged! Messages between my son and the girl show she suggested the meeting and the reason for it. Will this be admissable if the case goes to court? My son doesn't deny they intended and started to have sex but before full intercourse took place, he says he became nervous and said they should stop. This they did and the girl left shortly after. At no point before, during or after did she say no or stop or suggest in any way she was unhappy, unwilling or upset! No more was heard from her until today, 4 days after the alleged incident! Now I discover that the age on consent is not 16 as I thought, it is 17. This means the girl was too young to consent therefore, even though she was a willing participant, it is classsed as rape! I am so frightened! He's due to start college in September but he doesn't return to the station until the end of August! Will he still be accepted at college? Should I tell them? He's also heavily involved in our local football club - should I say something to them? Is there a chance this girl will retract her story? Has anyone heard or had experience of that happening? I truly don't know what to do and am so scared this is going to end with him being convicted and at the mercy of a judge! His whole life could be ruined! What do I do?

[lonley place]

Hi & welcome to the forum, but so sorry that you had to find us.
Your mind is working overtime at the moment, its an awful shock to find two police officers on the doorstep, and as you say a harrowing experience ! You have so very many questions with no answers.
As the police have collected forensic evidence, be prepared for the investigation to take quite a while, The wheels turn very slowly and a lot of people on here have had the horror of FA hanging over them for months.
Use the time wisely and gather as much of your own evidence as you can, screen shot Facebook conversations and make copies of them to disc, give a copy to a trusted friend or family member. You have said the police have taken your sons mobile so you can't make copies of texts from it, you can though request copies of texts sent and received from the network provider. Ask your son to write down everything her can remember while its fresh in his mind and add things if he recalls more as time passes. Don't though share this with the oic they are not interested in anything which will prove the innocence of your son.
You are on the rocky road, its a roller coaster of emotions, be assured we are here to help and support in anyway we possibly can, The wonderful folks here know how you are all feeling and theres always someone around when you need help.
I am sure some one will be along soon who can better advise you. Lp

[whatsgoingon?]

Hello Scared Mum, welcome to the forum. You've already been given some great advice by Lonely Place - obtaining a record of messages and calls from your network provider could prove to be essential to his defence.

What a nightmare for you. I also supported my son through false allegations and it can be very difficult at times. Well done for being present at the police station with your son - however harrowing , he needs all the support you can give him. Was he attended by the duty solicitor at the police station? If charged, he will need to be represented by a specialist solicitor, preferably one who's used to dealing with young people, this is extremely important. There is a link 'specialised solicitors' under 'Useful information'.

Are you sure about 17 being the legal age of consent? I've had a quick look on the CPS site and to me it reads that it's only in certain cases (eg breach of confidence by an older person )it's a bit heavy reading, but here's the link http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/r...index.html#a30

So far as college, football clubs etc..... I personnaly wouldn't tell them - he's been accused, he hasn't been tried and found guilty. People are all to keen to judge and the old adage 'no smoke without fire' is a very popular one, you need to limit the potential damage to your son in the long term. Infact, I would keep the information to a very restricted circle of people who you know you can trust.

You and your son need to try and carry on your lives 'as normal'. Going to college is going to be a great distraction for him. Don't be tempted to put this off as it's likely to take several months before you hear if he's going to be charged or not. Expect several re-bails, results from forensic test typically take up to 6 months.

Don't forget to look after yourself too. A friend or family member you can trust and confide in at times like these can be a god-send.
Take care.

[BlackLantern]

Hi - at 6am this morning, two police officers arrived on our doorstep and arrested my 16 year old son on suspiscion of rape! We spent the next 10 hours at the station having interviews, swabs, combings and so much more! I can't begin to tell you how harrowing this whole experience was as I have never been in a Police Station let alone a Custody Suite!! The whole case appears to rest on forensic evidence from the bedding, clothing, laptop and mobile phone they took away with them. No forensic match, no case! But if there is a match, he will be charged! Messages between my son and the girl show she suggested the meeting and the reason for it. Will this be admissable if the case goes to court? My son doesn't deny they intended and started to have sex but before full intercourse took place, he says he became nervous and said they should stop. This they did and the girl left shortly after. At no point before, during or after did she say no or stop or suggest in any way she was unhappy, unwilling or upset! No more was heard from her until today, 4 days after the alleged incident! Now I discover that the age on consent is not 16 as I thought, it is 17. This means the girl was too young to consent therefore, even though she was a willing participant, it is classsed as rape! I am so frightened! He's due to start college in September but he doesn't return to the station until the end of August! Will he still be accepted at college? Should I tell them? He's also heavily involved in our local football club - should I say something to them? Is there a chance this girl will retract her story? Has anyone heard or had experience of that happening? I truly don't know what to do and am so scared this is going to end with him being convicted and at the mercy of a judge! His whole life could be ruined! What do I do?

I thought the age of consent was pretty much always 16 or 18 depending on where you live. The bad part here is, her inviting him, consent, none of that matters in your sons situation. its all down to whether they participated in sexual activities together, seeing as by law in your jurisdiction she is considered incapable of giving consent. Remember that neither you nor your son should talk to the police, only talk to his lawyer. by law he has the right to remain silent. If he has admitted to any sexual contact involving a minor incapable of giving consent then he is in a world of hurt, and at least by the books, technically guilty.

For now keep your mouths shut and don't tell anyone, not even family. If this spreads around his reputation will be ruined, no matter what the outcome. and I'm serious about not telling family, because then they tell their closest friends who they trust, who tell their friend who they trust, until it gets to the point that everyone knows. just keep it between you, your husband, and your son. Hope for negatives on the tests, and get the best lawyer possible, preferably someone who has handled similar cases and is willing to go to trial. good luck.

[myhome]

Hi scared mum - so sorry you have had to find us and are going through harrowing ordeal - sadly yours is not an isolated story. You've been given great advice already and will get more I'm sure along with loads of support too...this can take a very long time so the best advice I can give (echo) is to get some support systems in place for you and your son - GP is a great place to start. You will need support for yourself too, because you will find it is as draining and traumatic for you as for your son, and you won't be able to help him if you have no-one to help you......
As the others have said, the police are definitely NOT your friends and are not interested in your son's innocence - they have conviction targets to meet and will love to get a conviction. That said, there is a very good success rate of FA'd people being found NOT GUILTY (search "bananas" on here to see)..

Be prepared for the rockiest rollercoaster of emotions you have ever experienced - but rest assured what you experience is "normal" in a very abnormal situation and we will help you all we can........keep strong.........MH

[Scared Mum]

Thank you! Reading your responses has helped so much! Knowing I can 'talk' on here rather than bottle it all up!! I'm trying not to look any further than the next step! And I'm prepared for our bail date to be extended a few times! My son has closed up - won't talk to me at all. I'm keeping a close eye and hoping it's the shock! Thanks again to everyone for your help and support!

[whatsgoingon?]

Hello again,
You seem to have a really good approach to it - I think one step at a time is best. Closing up to you seems to be a natural reaction, that's what several Mum's on here have said and I experienced the same. No lad wants to talk to his Mum about his sexual relationships, especially not at 16 Plus he's in trouble and probably very frightened and wondering what this is going to mean for his immediate future. You're right to keep an eye on him. Don't forget... it might not come to anything, don't cancel anything.

[is there justice?]

Hi Scared Mum

Always sorry to welcome a new face

You will get lots of support and advice on this site but be prepared for a rollercoaster of emotions. You say your son has clammed up, I think that's normal. For almost everyone this sort of thing is way beyond their comprehension and it's a struggle to get a grip. Having said that it will take its toll on all of you but the first few weeks are the worst.