Marital Rape .. another side

[jjhowsley]

Hi all
I just found out last week that the guy i have been seeing for the last 6 month is being accused by his (wife) of rape. He thinks she is saying this to get everything in the divorce and to stop him from being able to see his kids (they mean the world to him and he hasn't seen them in a year) She is saying that he has been raping her for the last 8 year but they only married 3 year ago. He had accused her of having an affair and is pleading innocence for all the alleged offenses.
The big problem is that when he was a teenager he got married young to a woman who turned to drugs, she also said he had raped her and on advice of the solicitor he plead guilty. he served 5 years in prison. His wife knows of this and is saying the same things his previous wife said but the story doesn't fit. He has obviously been through this before although he is pleading innocence this time. I do not believe he has done this... but i do not no what to expect and he is reluctant to talk about it. his court date is in august. He has been wearing a tag for the last year while he has been out on bail.
Any advice or what to expect would be great thank you all

[is there justice?]

Hi JJ

Sorry to find you here - you must be frantic with worry.

This is way beyond my limited knowledge other than to say I hope he has a different legal team this time. Nothing in the world would make me plead guilty for something I hadn't done and your b/f was very ill-advised if that was the case.

All the normal things apply, look for any clues, evidence of being malicious etc on facebook, emails, texts. Look at her friends' fb, track through, take screenshots. Note discrepancies in dates and keep it all for the solicitor not the police.

Well not only can she claim everything and the kids re the divorce but also claim a hefty compensation too. Is she in debt?

You need much better advice than I can offer, hopefully someone will be along soon.

[jjhowsley]

worry is mild for what i am feeling
i have no idea what is happening, my b/f is waiting on her statements to come and is going to see his barrister next week to see the video made as he cant have it posted to him. he has his witnesses sorted and some friends are going with him to court at the end of Aug. he doesn't want me or his mum there as he doesn't want us to go through the ordeal in court. All he has said to me is that his mate can drive the car home if all does not go well.
It feels like it is just a waiting game now:-(

[myhome]

Hi JJH and welcome - what an awful ordeal for you both......one thing that leapt straight out at me from what you posted is..........Why oh why did she marry him 5 years after he allegedly started raping her????????????? beggars belief really.........you'll get lots of help and advice on here so keep posting and we'll help all we can. ITJ has given good advice about not pleading guilty to something you haven't done just to get a "shorter" sentence. In effect by pleading guilty you get a sentence for something you haven't done which you might not have got had you pleaded not guilty.........

[Rights Fighter]

Hi JJH and welcome - what an awful ordeal for you both......one thing that leapt straight out at me from what you posted is..........Why oh why did she marry him 5 years after he allegedly started raping her????????????? beggars belief really.........you'll get lots of help and advice on here so keep posting and we'll help all we can. ITJ has given good advice about not pleading guilty to something you haven't done just to get a "shorter" sentence. In effect by pleading guilty you get a sentence for something you haven't done which you might not have got had you pleaded not guilty.........

Excellent post MH. A good defence barrister will bring these massive discrepancies out but I must stress that MOTIVE is really important. If you have no motive to put then you basically don't have a defence in a case such as this (apart from the obvious nonsense that she married him five years after regular 'rapings'.

Motive of course in this case is the broken marriage and her refusal to allow him to see the children.

Hopefully he has a good defence team.

[jjhowsley]

Hi all thank you for the replies
well it about 4 weeks to court date ... she has eventually sent out divorce papers that arrived Saturday from September. The divorce papers completely contradict what she said about the rape she is saying that the court said he was not aloud near his kids which is untrue it is her he was told to keep away from she is asking for everything in the divorce (house car savings possessions). she has said the reason for the divorce is the alleged 4 minor counts of rape ... i don't even no what that means... is there such thing as a minor rape ?
Her ex appears to be back in the picture but no real proof just small indications like her newest friend been friends with him all of a sudden . She is not even allowing the kids grandmother to go and see the kids. well we have to get in touch with the solicitor tomorrow. Also due to his last conviction they had visits from social services and the police at least four times a year she is now saying she didnt no about his previous conviction. but the social workers discussed this with her as they were together around 10 year and previous conviction was around 20 years back
well things seem to be starting to move now fingers and toes crossed and wish eveyone the best luck ... they really need to get a grip on all these false allegations they just ruin far to many lives and alot of it has to do with the compensation why cant they see that :-(

[Boys don't cry]

well it about 4 weeks to court date ... she has eventually sent out divorce papers that arrived Saturday from September. The divorce papers completely contradict what she said about the rape she is saying that the court said he was not aloud near his kids which is untrue it is her he was told to keep away from she is asking for everything in the divorce (house car savings possessions). she has said the reason for the divorce is the alleged 4 minor counts of rape ...(

Hi jjhowsley.

Your "friend" if he hasn't done it yet must absolutely photocopy this evidence (divorce papers) and give it to his criminal solicitor asap.

Keep us informed and fingers crossed.

[jjhowsley]

Hi jjhowsley.

Your "friend" if he hasn't done it yet must absolutely photocopy this evidence (divorce papers) and give it to his criminal solicitor asap.

Keep us informed and fingers crossed.

hey thanks for that he has spent 2 days trying to get his solicitor on the phone but yeah he has photocopied them already and are in a file with pics messages on facebook ect it just seams to be dragging alot at the moment :-(

[Lucky]

hey thanks for that he has spent 2 days trying to get his solicitor on the phone but yeah he has photocopied them already and are in a file with pics messages on facebook ect it just seams to be dragging alot at the moment :-(

2 days to get get hold of his brief ?

change them.

[Boys don't cry]

2 days to get get hold of his brief ?

change them.

Sorry to interfere with your thread jjhowsley.

Welcome Lucky .

Would it be possible for you to create your own thread and let the members know a bit more about your or your story.
You have been posting to help people even in the specialist solicitor's thread but unfortunately and as you are aware this is a delicate matter .

Thank you in advance.

Thanks jjhowsley.

[Lucky]

Sorry to interfere with your thread jjhowsley.

Welcome Lucky .

Would it be possible for you to create your own thread and let the members know a bit more about your or your story.
You have been posting to help people even in the specialist solicitor's thread but unfortunately and as you are aware this is a delicate matter .

Thank you in advance.

Thanks jjhowsley.

I would like to be a contributing lurker, for a few more weeks or so, before I can say more. As you admit its a delicate area, and some of us are not as forthcoming. sorry mate, if you want i can stop posting

[Boys don't cry]

I would like to be a contributing lurker, for a few more weeks or so, before I can say more. As you admit its a delicate area, and some of us are not as forthcoming. sorry mate, if you want i can stop posting

I don't want you to stop posting and you are welcome.
Thanks already for your help and contribution.

[Lucky]

I don't want you to stop posting and you are welcome.
Thanks already for your help and contribution.

I can't PM yet, coz I am new, but i tried to let you know a bit more about me and my story. I know your a long time poster here.

Thanks again for the welcome though, appreciated.

[Boys don't cry]

jjhowsley.

If your friend can't reach his solicitor by phone,he must go to his office and drop the relevant documents.

If not : scan and email them then ask if he received them.

Solicitors and barristers are busy and members do know about this fact.

All the best.

[jjhowsley]

hey thanks
he has got hold of them now problem is is that his sol is about 3 hours drive away ... Close to his wife which he is not aloud near so he dont wanna chance things so close to court and about changing sol its a bit close to court date to be doing that i think but thanks for the advice