Accused of raping my partner 3 months ago

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Wilts, I know you must be very dissapointed to be re-bailed , but it really is early days yet, and you may be bailed several times before knowing whether you're going to be charged or NFA'd. (It was 7 months from arrest to charge in our case). You get to have a real love hate relashionship with them (love them 'cos then you'll know, hate them in case you get charged - then after... relief you didn't get charged/fraustration it's still not been dealt with).

Is there any point you getting in touch with the social worker or your wife and asking if you could have a special visit on your daughter's birthday or skype link? I can't see any harm in asking and I'm sure it would cheer you both up no end.

[is there justice?]

Hi Wilts

Oh dear, the waiting game seems all too common. I'm sorry that you can't see your children but hope you could at least arrange some sort of supervised access which would be good for them too. I'm not really up on that side of it.

Try not to be sentimental about your ex, you are missing what was and certainly not what she is right now - a malicious accuser.

You are in this for yourself, you are the number one priority and it's a time to be totally focused on yourself however lonely you feel (that is apart from your kids).

There's lots of support here for you.

[Wilts]

Thanks itj, wgo well the OIC did confirm that she felt I was not a threat to the children so thats a start. I guess its down to the kids and SS when they see me.

itj everything you said has been said to me by my Dad. I think your right I mourn the life I had rather than the woman i no longer know.

Will keep posting.

[myhome]

Hi wilts - good news the OIC thinks you're not a threat to your children so hopefully things can move forward a bit and you can get supervised visits.....

[Wilts]

Well got confirmed in the post today my bail is extended until 5th september. God knows why they need that long? They have both our iPhones so guess they will want to trawl them for texts. Problem is bail conditions still apply but there is a chance I will be able to move back to family home as the ex partner and kids have not moved back home and its been 2 weeks now. Living with parents at the moment they have been great but its not fair on them they are in their 70s and dont need the upset.

[is there justice?]

Hi Wilts

I hope you managed to get copies of texts etc before they took the iphones.

Your parents are probably quite glad they can keep an eye on you - a son's for life you know but it would maybe give you a sense of normality if you could get back to your home.

Sorry it's going to drag on for longer but that is common.

Stay strong

[myhome]

keep strong wilts, and be prepared for a long journey.......it seems to drag on and on.........

[Wilts]

Thanks folks, Never got chance to get copies of txts things moved so quickly. I am certainly coming to terms with the fact things are going to move slowly. Not sure I will ever trust another woman the frustrating thing is she is back at work like nothing has happen and I am left signed off for 2 months with acute depression. The law must change to stop this happening to so many innocent guys.

[myhome]

The law must change to stop this happening to so many innocent guys.

And us too ---------- I'm a girlie!!!!!! jointly FA'd with exbf by another girlie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Wilts]

And us too ---------- I'm a girlie!!!!!! jointly FA'd with exbf by another girlie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry myhome, wrong of me to assume its just blokes that go through this.

[myhome]

No apology needed - it's a common assumption and the vast majority are blokes anyway.......

[can it get worse]

In our case, it is my husband but we are both going thru hell. Whether we are man or woman, we still suffer. The consequence of one persons 'word' is unbelievable. And the fact that S.S. are involved - words cannot describe. What sort of people are there in our society? I just cannot comprehend how one individual can be so malicious.

[Wilts]

I was chatting today to a young woman that was assaulted by an ex partner, she reported it to police and was interviewed all that the police wanted to push her for was if he had ever forced himself on her. She said it was like they were trying to get her to up the stakes all through the interview. It was like 'oh yes there was a time when we had sex and i didnt smile at the end'. Great thats it we got him.

[is there justice?]

I was chatting today to a young woman that was assaulted by an ex partner, she reported it to police and was interviewed all that the police wanted to push her for was if he had ever forced himself on her. She said it was like they were trying to get her to up the stakes all through the interview. It was like 'oh yes there was a time when we had sex and i didnt smile at the end'. Great thats it we got him.

There couldn't be a more tempting time to lie, could there? And then having lied they daren't admit it. I'm not sure if ALL interviews are recorded or only with the accused. Pushing questions like this should be forbidden although I can see why they ask the question. Pushing someone down that road is different though, incitement to commit perjury?? No wonder it makes you angry.

[Wilts]

OIC called me today to say my ex partner was moving her and the kids stuff out of the family home today. My bail conditions have been amended to allow me to move back to the house from this Friday.
hope she is not clearing the place out. Its going to be hard going back to our family house, not sure how i will feel . Dont think I will live there long too many memories of the kids and the life we all had.