Son accused of rape

[Firstly]

Any advice would be great,my 15 year old son is accused of raping a girl of the same age back in April,the first I'd heard of it was when my sons friends mum rang me and said she had the girls mum screaming down the phone to her that my son had raped her daughter,from his moment as a mum my world fell apart,it apparently happened at my sons friends house in his bedroom with the girl her female cousin and 2 other friends in the same room all of which after questioning even her cousin are saying it didn't happen,my son admitted having sex but the girl was on top this was confirmed by the other witnesses,it is at the moment with the cps and my son is on bail,my son is completely oblivious as to how serious it is and just says dont worry mum they will find the truth but I'm terrified for him the girl also stay the night It allegedly happened and even me with my son after this,she apparently had a falling out with her friend just before she made the allegation,she left it a month after the night before reporting it and my son was arrested after being asked to the station a week later,two weeks after the allegations she has a new boyfriend and is apparently loving life how cruel is this girl!

[cantgiveup]

Hi Firstly,

Sorry you had to find us, but there is lots of lovely people her who can offer a lot of support and good advice. I know very little of the legal system but know how you are feeling as the supporter of someone who has been accused. The first few weeks are the very worst, shock, disbelief, and pure fear...it does ease off a little as time goes on and you learn to life in a very surreal kind of normal, unfortunately until you are charged and your sol receives all copies of statements etc there is little you can do but wait.

In the meantime though, ask your son to write as detailed as he can remember statement of what happened before, during and after the incident. Record all texts, screenshot any social media posts..anything you can find or think of that may support your sons statement or discredit the accusers. This needs to be kept very safely, ideally backed up on your PC and copied to an external hard drive, copies also given to your sol for safekeeping. It also seems to be the general advise not to give any evidence to the police but to pass it to your sol who can decide what to do with it. General thoughts seem to be that the police can and will give the accuser the opportunity to change his / her statement if there is evidence provided that proves her original one to be inaccurate

Take care of yourself and your son, you need to look after yourselves in order to fight this. Keep posting here, it has been a lifeline for me.

xx

[whatsgoingon?]

Hello Firstly, welcome to the forum - I'm so sorry you're in this awful situation. Most of us on here have either been through it, are going through it , or supporting someone else. My son went through it and is now living his life on the other side of a 'not-guilty' verdict! The advice I obtained from reading the 'stickies', other peoples threads and from individuals and their support was invaluable. So take a look around the site... it's a gold-mine!

The fact you're on here shows that you are keen to support your son through this - well done! He's going to need you , even if he doesn't show it, he pretends it's not happening, etc etc. How can he know how seriously this may be considered? He needs you to believe him, to be supportive towards him but also to give him space.

From what you've said and what the other kids have told you, it does sound like whatever your son and this girl were up to (in a room full of other kids) was completely concentual and that he DIDN't rape her, doesn't it? I would keep reminding yourself that your son is NOT GUILTY.

What you'll need to do is the brain-work for him. The first step making sure he has an excellent, legal team who are well-experienced in this sort of allegation and dealing with young people should he be charged. Although you may feel it's unecessary right now, have a look in the specialised solictors thread for one in your area. Was one present when he was arrested and during his interview with the police?

Next you need to get him to gather every single bit of information regarding that evening:

-Who was there, that night? (name, age, address)
- Were there any adults in the house?
-What was the exact relashionship between this girl and your son prior, during, and after that night?
-Was there any correspondance before or after the event (text, messages, facebook etc)? If so, if it's possible to do so, it must be screen-shot/ recorded and saved on a USB key and kept in a safe place.
- What do you know about this girl? Do you know what her attitude since the alleged rape has been ? Has she made any postings regarding him or the allegations she's made on FB? Is there anyone that can find out for you and take screen-shots etc ?

By doing the above, you will be gathering evidence 'just in case', but more to the point , while it's still available.

WARNING: Your son's bail conditions probably state that he's not allowed to get in touch with her or interfere with her in any way. If that's the case, I would assume it also applies to you and members of your family. It is extremely important that he sticks to his bail conditions. Also, particularly as she's a minor, you have to be very careful not to do anything that could in any way be construed as 'harrassment'.

At what point did his friend's mother phone you? Was that just after the party or at the same time it was reported?

In your role as supporter.... don't forget, it's not you that's being acused even though it may feel like that or worst. Try and keep a bit of balance. Life has to go on whatever, you shouldn't neglect the rest of the family or other important issues, though you'll gain a better appreciation of what's important. It helps to find ways to let off steam and relax on a regular basis (walks, hobbies, meditation , whatever) so as not to let things build up too much.

You'll also need to develope frank speaking with him and he's going to have to grow up.

If school's going to be an issue, then you need to explore all the possiblilities open to him so that he doesn't lose out in the long run.

There're several Mums on here at the moment, I'm sure some more will make themselves known to you and add things they've found useful and give their support.
Keep coming back when you need to.

WGO

[mumneedinghelp]

Hi, I too am the mother of a son falsely accused of rape and 2 sexual offences. He has his plea hearing at crown court next Friday and I have been quite emotional this week while my son acts as if nothing is happening. We don't live in the same town as her or know anyone who lives there but from the pictures on Facebook she is getting on with her life as normal and is in a relationship and has a new house. Her lies are bad enough but her mother has recently made a statement. She is not a witness to the alleged rape but her account of what was supposed to have happened is worse than her daughters and then she states how depressed her daughter is, how often she cries and can't sleep. It makes me so angry that there are people who can be so cruel.
keep posting to get help and support. I find that just putting down how I am feeling helps through the bad times.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi MNH - I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad... I'm about to post on your thread.

This is the link for the specialist solicitors: http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...sed+solicitors

I can't emphasise enough how important it is to have a competent, experienced legal team to defend your son.

[Firstly]

Thankyou so much for all the advice and support you are all showing me,we are due back to the police station on Sunday 7th july this will be the second time they rebailed him last time.i had a phone call from the police saying my son had been seen breaking his bail conditions by the girls family which was completely untrue and I think th police also thought it was untrue,they are just a vile family,I have a really good solicitor for my son who I'm reporting all this nonsense of breaking his bail to although there is nothing that can be done! Can't believe how wicked people can be,luckily my son has great circle of friends and most of them kno the situation and are behind him 100% I will let u all know how we get on

[is there justice?]

I think we are all surprised and shocked at how vile and vindictive people can be.

Hopefully your son has someone with him most of the time so any claims of bail violation can be disproved.

I hope this is sorted quickly - there is just so much in the media that seems to encourage similar allegations. Bad times but they will pass.