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Sapped my will to live
In 2009 another girl from my religion contacted me online and we casually chatted. I went to a ball the previous week and she was there, never spoke to her though, we were in different circles. She was 16, (or so she made out)*. I was an immature and naive 27 year old
So she added me on MSN. It was just a friendly chat about casual stuff, music etc. i still have the logs.
These chats became frequent, and soon enough she made it clear that she liked me more than a friend. I heard from her friends too she'd been telling them this. Over time our friendship grew stronger and I fell for her too.
She'd ring me all the time, text and chat loads, go out with friends etc. To us and our friends we seemed a perfect match.
She told me she wasnt able to date until she hit 18, and asked I wait for her. For this reason her relationship was kept from her parents. I'd often encourage her to tell them that she likes me but she was adament that her family knowing at this stage was a bad idea.
This relationship carried on under the guise of friendship for three years, past her 18th birthday, past her 19th. Still hadn't told her parents.
Finally things got weird. Mid 2012 she started acting distant (funnily enough she said she'd told her mum she liked me around this time). Her mum is for lack of better words a tyrant and has a history littered with conflicts and accusations. The rest of her family are very loud and opinionated also.
I dropped contact with her several times during this period, feeling that she was moving on, She begged for me back each time. Dec 2012 though I find out she's been with another lad for the past 6 months. I dump her and expose her as a cheat to her boyfriend (who ignored me).
I was heartbroken at this betrayal. It got worse.
A few days later my church ministers tell me she's claimed i raped her when she was 14. I nearly died. I didn't even know her when she was 14. I assumed she'd been coerced into this by her manipulative family as well as to get revenge on me for exposing her cheating.
During the next few weeks I could hardly sleep and my life was messed up. I noticed people I knew disowning me, although my true friends who've known us both over the years knew I never did this. I couldn't concentrate on my work either, deadlines coming and going and me dropping behind.
I collected together evidence I had showing I didn't meet her till 2009, and that there's been a strong relationship going for the past 3 years. This was presented to her and her family and she simply dismissed it as being made up. Under scrutiny though and weeks later she admitted the evidence was true, but upheld her claim of rape???
Over the next couple months more of her family got involved and as it stands now apparently they claim I groomed her. It's like since the rape claim didn't wash they moved onto another. They twist things to fit their story, eg. I bought her gifts now and then (she did me too), like any courting couple would, but they're now deciding them gifts were all part of the grooming process.
As far as I'm aware nothing has been reported to police (presumably because they know a lot of it is fabricated). I just worry that although I know I'm not a rapist or a predator, could the story be spun to show I am, and end up with me locked up. I'm not rich, I can't afford a good defense.
Right now I feel sick, disgusted, lonely, and without will to live. I just don't know what to do at all or what my future- if any- holds
* Since she's been proved a compulsive liar since, I don't know her exact age. Whenever I asked it was always in riddles or alluded to but never answered simply. Responses like "11 years younger than you" (I was 27) or "when I hit 15/16 i started looking like i was 20!" (implying she was at least 16). I just assumed this was one of her little silly games. Looking back now she could have been a couple months shy of 16 when we first started speaking, I just don't know anymore.
So she added me on MSN. It was just a friendly chat about casual stuff, music etc. i still have the logs.
These chats became frequent, and soon enough she made it clear that she liked me more than a friend. I heard from her friends too she'd been telling them this. Over time our friendship grew stronger and I fell for her too.
She'd ring me all the time, text and chat loads, go out with friends etc. To us and our friends we seemed a perfect match.
She told me she wasnt able to date until she hit 18, and asked I wait for her. For this reason her relationship was kept from her parents. I'd often encourage her to tell them that she likes me but she was adament that her family knowing at this stage was a bad idea.
This relationship carried on under the guise of friendship for three years, past her 18th birthday, past her 19th. Still hadn't told her parents.
Finally things got weird. Mid 2012 she started acting distant (funnily enough she said she'd told her mum she liked me around this time). Her mum is for lack of better words a tyrant and has a history littered with conflicts and accusations. The rest of her family are very loud and opinionated also.
I dropped contact with her several times during this period, feeling that she was moving on, She begged for me back each time. Dec 2012 though I find out she's been with another lad for the past 6 months. I dump her and expose her as a cheat to her boyfriend (who ignored me).
I was heartbroken at this betrayal. It got worse.
A few days later my church ministers tell me she's claimed i raped her when she was 14. I nearly died. I didn't even know her when she was 14. I assumed she'd been coerced into this by her manipulative family as well as to get revenge on me for exposing her cheating.
During the next few weeks I could hardly sleep and my life was messed up. I noticed people I knew disowning me, although my true friends who've known us both over the years knew I never did this. I couldn't concentrate on my work either, deadlines coming and going and me dropping behind.
I collected together evidence I had showing I didn't meet her till 2009, and that there's been a strong relationship going for the past 3 years. This was presented to her and her family and she simply dismissed it as being made up. Under scrutiny though and weeks later she admitted the evidence was true, but upheld her claim of rape???
Over the next couple months more of her family got involved and as it stands now apparently they claim I groomed her. It's like since the rape claim didn't wash they moved onto another. They twist things to fit their story, eg. I bought her gifts now and then (she did me too), like any courting couple would, but they're now deciding them gifts were all part of the grooming process.
As far as I'm aware nothing has been reported to police (presumably because they know a lot of it is fabricated). I just worry that although I know I'm not a rapist or a predator, could the story be spun to show I am, and end up with me locked up. I'm not rich, I can't afford a good defense.
Right now I feel sick, disgusted, lonely, and without will to live. I just don't know what to do at all or what my future- if any- holds
* Since she's been proved a compulsive liar since, I don't know her exact age. Whenever I asked it was always in riddles or alluded to but never answered simply. Responses like "11 years younger than you" (I was 27) or "when I hit 15/16 i started looking like i was 20!" (implying she was at least 16). I just assumed this was one of her little silly games. Looking back now she could have been a couple months shy of 16 when we first started speaking, I just don't know anymore.
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