2 days Into this hell.......

[smokiejo]

Hi ghostbiscuit nly just seen this what great news hope you can rebuild your life and thanks again for the support you gave me with my son:::

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi everyone

Thankyou all soo much. Bit of bad news the other day the landlord is selling his house and we have to be out by the end of June. So we are panicking finding somewhere to live. Not easy when you have pets and are looking for a 4 bedroom house. So if anyone knows of any private landlords in the greater Manchester area or close to up Bury Rochdale or Oldham let me know.

Also the children's guardian is due this week not looking forward to this. Oh well.

Once again a big thankyou to everyone supporting me and I really wanted those bananas.

Regards
Ghost....B

[Ghost biscuit]

Quick Update

Hi Everyone,

I have not been on for a while because I have moved. I the other day fell off a pair of ladders and broke my elbow also a couple of weeks ago I had to put my dog to sleep after 16 fantastic years together. He had throat and lung cancer came on rapidly. I took Chubbs to be cremated. Not a good time for me. Last Friday I learnt from the ISW that My ex is appealing the decision of the CPS and has sent a letter for the case to be reviewed to see if I can be rearrested for the crime I did not commit. I have now have to make a 10hr train journey to have one hour supervised visit a week on Saturday with my children and have to pay the cost of this as well. The ISW will be there taking notes. I just feel peed off that I have done nothing wrong and yet I have to make a long journey and to be supervised with my visits with the kids when I have done nothing wrong. So maybe I am second guessing but the ISW and Cafcass report will not be favourable to me but to her.

Regards,

Ghost....B

[Southwestaccused]

Sorry to hear this is still continuing for you. I have also experienced first hand how by just keeping your commitments and doing the right thing by your kids seems to put you in a worse position whilst FAs and manipulating children seem to put the other party in a position of strength. Give your kids a big hug, tell them you love them and don't ever give up. You're not alone in experiencing this.

[Ghost biscuit]

Update on family proccedings.

Hi Everyone,

Just thought I would update you all know that I finally have an internet connection and a decent laptop. It was horrendous trying to update from my phone so I didn't bother and to be honest nothing worth while to update. Where do I start..... looking out the window as the sun is sitting in a cloudless sky spreading its golden arm upon the earth... happiness kind of.... hope yes and saddened for everyone going through what I and others have been through.

I am now having regular once a week contact by phone with my children. My eldest one hates me and my youngest does not say she loves me like she used to. The calls are sometimes ok and sometimes bad. I have been allowed to see my youngest at a contact centre in Scotland twice as my eldest refuses to see me. The second time my youngest did not want to see me as she felt uncomfortable so I had to drive back to England tired and dumbfounded with my heart in pieces. 7 half hour round trip getting up at 5 in the morning all for nothing.

Had to go back to court after the Children's guardian and ISW did there reports..... again not in my favour by that I mean, not that they had anything bad to say against because they didn't..in fact there was a several pages on me and one said I could not cope with being a dad. Most were about X and husband.... let me explain.....

X is in a wheel chair because of all the stress I have put her through which was stated in earlier solicitor's report's of hers. However having learned that she has Somatization disorder mix with possible personality disorder and fictitious illness syndrome I asked for a physiological assessment of her in court. According to the ISW and CG X has coerced and manipulated the children to such a degree that them returning home would be more harmful than good. So they recommended the children live with X and had contact with me. They also mentioned they do not know what the long term outlook would be living with X as they do not understand her illness however because one is nearly a teenager and the other will be a teenager in a few years, the ISW and CG said it is the wishing and feelings of the children and the length of time they had been with X and NOT anything to do with they way I would be with the children that has brought about this conclusion. I questioned this report as ludicrous how can you say in the short term the children would be harmed by coming back home and yet on the other hand say that the long term of the children living with X may be harmful to them. To me it is paradoxical.

I met with the CG in court we had a discussion in fact he wanted me not to ask for a psychological review as this would not benefit the children and would not make a difference in the immediate future about where they are living nor change his mind as he wanted the order made so the children lived with mum so he could do some work with them and contact for me could be sorted out. He wanted it finished that day. I turned round to him and said...how can you say in your report that it would be toxic for the children to come back home when you know and reported that there wishing and feeling s have been manipulated and coerced to such a degree that they don't want to even see me. I said this to me is systematic child abuse on an emotional level and you call yourself a professional. He did not like that he raised his voice to me. I polity said do not raise your voice to me as far as I am concerned I want a psychological report on X because as far I am concerned she is a danger to those children and you even question that yourself which is contradictory to your report.

He refused to listen to me and said we will let the judge decide that then wont we..I smiled and said yes we will. He left the room in such a huff.
We entered court and to cut a long story short the morning session did not go well.. I cannot help keep my opinions to myself and interrupted the judge on many occasions. He did not hold me in contempt of court as he said I understand your frustration however it would be advisable if you bring along a pen a paper and write down what you want to say and give it to your solicitor.. so I was reprimanded in a nice way from the judge.

The morning session went all X's way to the fact she was smiling and chuckling to herself. Pissed me off no end knowing the only reason why we was here in the first place was because she lied to the police. My solicitors time came and as the other side argued against the finding of fact and psychological report and with the full back of the ISW and CG behind them we was fighting an uphill struggle...

We argued the fact about certain parts of the reports are contradictory and the we took segments out of the to clearly demonstrate that. The Judge took into consideration what we said but stated he did not see a need for the reports not the finding of fact. He did ask the children's solicitor to ask the CG if this would have any long term affect on the children. He basically said he knew nothing about this illness but he does not see it would. I blurted out that the ISW and CG are not in there professional capacity able to determine the psychological effects of the children instead see a sugar coated of how X wanted them to see the family.

The judge said we need to come back after launch to say why we needed the reports and argue why they would be necessary now as the ISW and CG said they would not be needed. We said ok we broke for launch...At launch my solicitor said it does not look good for any reports to be asked for. I went away saddened.

After launch for some reason X decided that the children would want to see me and made a new contact arrangement every other weekend once near where I am and once in Scotland for a few hours... Better than nothing so I took that. She also said that she would not be going any further with the rape allegation because she received a letter stating that the first two reviews of the rape allegation were correct for the CPS not to prosecute the case. She gave no reason why.

Now today I have learnt that the reason why they did not prosecute was because she had made so many false allegations before they knew the jury would take that into consideration and on that point they knew they did not have a strong enough case for a conviction because of her past. This was a letter wrote to her but handed to us for our case notes in the family courts.

We went in the court room to wait for the judge.. the usher said he would be 15 minutes as he was reading some of the notes. 15 minutes pasted by. The usher went into the judges chamber came back out and said he would be another 30 mins..... this came and went so another 10 minutes...finally the judge came out. We was ready with our arguments for a psychological report...but the judge sat there and started to speak and summed up his findings so far. He went through his findings and his concerns... as he was speaking my heart was in my mouth was we actually going to get the report we had asked for...

The judge looked over to the CG and said.. with all due respect to your report... I knew we had gotten the report our way when the Judge said that... The judge continued your report is detailed clear and of importance and I understand why you feel that a psychological is not in the best interest of the children however I disagree and these are the grounds I disagree on...The judge went on to say why.. I looked at X and her face dropped so low that the wheels in her wheelchair would have jammed fast in her flesh.

The judge also refused to hand X the residency order and again did not go with the CG or ISW recommendations. The judge did point out that the only real concern was the children's wishing and feelings and their ages as well as length of time the spent in Scotland. The judge asked if we still wanted a finding of fact he gave me and my solicitor 10 mins to discuss this outside the court room... I decided not to as if we have a final hearing I can voice my concerns then and the fact that we was now getting the psychological report I was happy with that.

We went back in court and said no we don't want I finding of fact. The judge then went on to direct and order of what had been discussed etc. The judge left to his chambers.. the CH guardian held out his hand shook mine and said well done you got what you asked for.. I said no its not about me its about my concerns for the children and you not doing your job properly in the first place.

So the children and I and X have to have a report done... I don't think it will get the children back home but it may get to the root of X and her lies also the children will be able to have a say with X being there.

Now to deal with my complaint against the officer and the incompetence way the police handled my case... I have waited 5 months roughly since I was suppose to hear back from the police about seeing someone about making a case for the NC instead of the NFA. I have not heard anything since then. I phoned the OIC up today and spoke to her. I got a lot of things of my chest and yes it felt good. I told her that as she was young she may not have the experience of a fully seasoned officer dealing with rape allegation cases. Also pointed out the incompetence of the police handling the case. Even said that the CPS wanted the family papers and it took 3 months for the police to get them. She said its their legal team did not have permission from the judge. I said rubbish no it was not, the judge gave them permission months earlier. She said the judge did not. I said I have the evidence in front of me now that the judge did and therefore it was the OIC incompetence that she did not get the family paper's which not only lengthened the amount of time it took for my NFA but my children not seeing me as well in the mean time. She never replied kind of mumbled. Anyway I gave her facts about the case, also missing information the police had but failed to act upon and pointed out what the CPS had said about previous false allegations and the police neglectfulness of not acting upon them sooner. Maybe I would still have my children living with me now. That is what the ISW and CG both have said.

I told her how the police failed to act up on information I gave them even when my bail conditions were not related to the crime I had allegedly committed. Again she couldn't answer that one. There was a load of other stuff that was said as well. I then said I will see my MP go to the media and mention your name and others if I have to as I have evidence that this matter should be a NC and not an NFA... She blurted out what is it you want an NC I said yes amongst other things she said she will get someone to phone me I said what in another 5 months.. she said no next week sometime. I said I will go to the police commissioner if this has not happened as I have waited long enough already. She said I cannot promise you anything but will try my best for you. Let me think I've heard that somewhere before ohhhh yesss when I was first arrested.

So lets see what happens. In the meantime I have an appointment with my MP next week.

Hope all is well with everyone and for those going through these testing times stay strong for one day it will be at an end....

Regards,

Ghost....B

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi GB - thanks for the update and glad you've kept your literary skills even if you are still banging your head! It strikes me as really tragic how families are completely messed up due to these allegation not being investigated properly at the onset. It must be a huge sadness for you that your eldest doesn't want to see you, I hope he will, in time. He must be pretty hurt by it all himself.
Some dads walk away from this sort of situation because it's just too hard, so your perseverance is a real credit to you. Glad to see the judge in the FC wasn't just skimming over things and backed you on the psychological report.

Well done also for being prepared to argue for a NC - seems like OIC was only too happy to blunder into this and would happily blunder out if it weren't for your tenacity.

[is there justice?]

I can't imagine how you are feeling re your children, you are all missing out on so much. It underlines that there are never any winners after these scurrilous false accusations.

You have great tenacity and I think in the end, you will be able to repair the connection to your children.
Well done for telling plod what the real score is, please update us.

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi

Thanks for responding. I don't think the children will come back home but as long as I know I have done everything legally in my power then to me that's good enough. I just do not understands how this woman has controlled everyone for such a long time.

Regards,

Ghost....B

[Southwestaccused]

I know how you feel, also on the receiving end of parental alienation syndrome. The mother is being horrible end controlling with the child bug it seems to work and she seems to be too scared to continue her relationship with me

If you want to exchange notes on the legal side of things feel free to get in touch.

[grababadger]

Hi GB,

Congratulations on not being charged, your situation sound similar to mine except the police are still investigating. Just out of interest how long were you on bail for and how long was it before the 'file' was passed to the CPS?

Thanks.

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi Everyone,

I have now got the letter from the CPS and reasons why they did not prosecute. Basicaly they go on to day that becuase of the issues from 2004 onwards they can see from the family papers and social worker records that in the past I have been co operative with the all proffessional bodies and some of the paper work has come to conclude that X has made false and malicious and fasle. They go on to say that I would have access to all the paperwork the trial and that they would not have a realistic chance of conviction because of the doubts raised by the histiry of the case and past alligations.

I am off to see my local MP to see if he can help me with getting a NC over my NFA.

Regards,

Ghost....B

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi grababadger and Southwest accused,

I was on bail for a day short of 8 months. The CPS wanted the papers from the family court October time and permission was granted in October however a change of OIC meant a delay. I was told that if this delay had not occurred my children would be home now, however they are not due to the length of tie the police took.

No problem southwestacused not sure what I can be of help with though.

Istherejustice and whatsgoingon I am not scared by authorities anymore never really had been but now they cannot take my children away nothing more they can do to me. So I am now going to the battle with all guns blazing so to speak and I will not leave any stone unturned. I will point out there mistakes I will tell them what I think and how I feel about the cock up. I will do this in a nice and polite full manner. Whilst doing this I ma getting on with my life and not just wasting it doing this. They will not take that away from me.

I will of course keep you updated.

[grababadger]

Thanks for the reply, I too am going through the family courts (whilst investigation is pending). I don't feel it is fair that the alleged victim get's an upper hand just because of an accusation-which should not be taken into account until proven guilty in court.

I have been on bail for 10 months now and the file is not even with the CPS! Its absolutely disgusting the police can conduct themselves in this manner to think that length of time is acceptable.

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi All,

I went to the Inspector yesterday... She was with another officer. Went in a room brought some paperwork. Basically they both were reeming off policing guidlines which I have no clue what they mean to me. To cut a long story short she said that I cannot give you an NC as we cannot prove that you did not commit this offence. Then I asked why did X not mention this as her defence after she stab me 3 years after the alleged rape. The other officer turned round and said becuse the abuse this woman has suffered in the past means that she may of only been able to come forward now. I was really confused I said she never suffered any abuse it was me. I then asked if you cannot prove I did not commit a crime then it should be NC. The officer said thats not going to happen. I said I will take this further to this she smiled and started laughing as if to say go ahaead but you will be wasting your time. I asked why are you laughing she said Im not but now i know your taking it further I will pass what we have spoken about on to the next level. She also mentioned saying I have two more appointments saying similar to you wanting an NC. Im just wasting my time here as far as I am concernd its pathetic they way police are and shambolic the way they investaigate. I said as proffessionals you can let someone sit there telling lies about being raped when she was not. You have her background with all the other false alligations and yet you cant see the truth.I also went on to say how vile X was etc. I could see myself getting more frustrated with these two police officers. i just eneded by saying she is a disgrace to women and that I feel discriminted by the police because of my gender and as these two were both female officers they also believed I was guilty of something I did not do. I said bye and left. I did mention that she would be getting a nice criminal injuries compensation award. The officer said she had never heard that before and its rubbish that she would be. I left deflated.

Regards,

Ghost....B

[can it get worse]

Hi GB - what a disgrace.

I am so angry for you. You made the right comments but up it's like wasting your time as it falls on deaf ears.

Bless you.