Help!!

[confused.com]

I am completely new to this so you may have to bear with me.... sorry.

My partner of 2 years has been accused of historical marital rape by the mother of his 2 children. She has said that this happened on 3 occasions but can only name one date and has also admitted that she was drunk at the time and can not remember the details of what happened.

The police turned up at 4 am 8 weeks ago and arrested him and held him for 12 hrs. They bailed him with the only condition of not contacting her. They have since re bailed him for another two months and today we have found out that the police have sent the file too CPS.

She made these allegations last November but the police did nothing until March. Since then they have interviewed his ex partner, her eldest four children (two have refused to give statements) and her best friend. No one else has been spoken too.

The reason that they split up was that she had a breakdown. When my partner moved out to stay with his mother she drove her car through her mother in laws house and has since been charged with criminal damage and dangerous driving.
He is the kindest, sweetest man on the planet and this is so very nearly destroying him. Innocent until proved guilty doesn't work in a small town.

Will they look at her previous behaviour? Will they take into account her craziness??

Our lives are falling apart and I don't know who else I can talk too?

I am sorry for rambling on.

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Hi and welcome although the circumstances are unfortunate.

You have come to the right place to rant, grumble, talk, ask questions and get advice. I for one am glad I found this site as it helped me get back my sanity. There are many of us in this awful situation and we are all glad to help each other.

DBI

[confused.com]

Thank you! It all just seems so unfair and surreal! : ( I am scared that justice will not prevail. There is no evidence, just her word against his and she is a superstar at playing the victim in all aspects of her life.

[sparks]

Hi and welcome though sorry you had to find us.

Take some time to read some of the other posts, you will find a lot of very good and extremely important advice, remember the Police are not looking to assist your partner in proving his innocence, so do not share information with them unless you have spoken to your solicitor first, you will get fantastic advice here and support so if you are unsure about anything please feel free to ask, and stay strong for each other remember there is strength in numbers, best wishes.

Sparks

[myhome]

Hi and welcome from me too though sorry you had to find us....

Sadly yours is an all too common story and you are both at the beginning of an awful process which could be over in a few days or could last up to 18 months - it's impossible to say. Your minds will do what they're doing already - asking lots of questions. Some can be answered now and others will be answered as the days go by...

That this FA was made in November and they did a dawn raid in March is unusual. My understanding is dawn raids are usually made to get DNA evidence as soon as possible after the event. It could also be said that the fact they waited 4 months before doing anything could be an indicator that they haven't put a great deal of belief in her story - however that then contradicts the dawn raid action......

You've been given some great advice already but I would like to re- emphasise what sparks said - plod are NOT your friends. They have conviction targets to reach so have little interest in finding out who's innocent. If your husband remembers anything that could prove useful in his defence - for example he was on a lads' weekend on the date she has mentioned and can prove that, don't tell plod. If you do, they will go back to the ex with this and she will change her statement and the date saying something like she was so traumatised/drunk etc she mistook the date and it was actually the following weekend or whatever. She is allowed to do this as often as she wants to and plod will accept it. Don't talk to plod without your sol being present and don't give them any more info than they ask for.......

Keep posting and we'll help all we can - it a truly horrendous thing you are experiencing and you may like to visit your GP for support or signposting to counselling......Keep strong....

[confused.com]

Hi,

Thank you so much for your support! We have had no contact with the police at all since he was arrested. Even the bail date was extended via a letter from them. The reason they gave for dawn raid was that we work from home but have meetings all over the country and she informed them when we were most likely to be there. (They also new that we didn't have the kids of which we have joint custody). It all seems strange to me. When the police turned up my other half said that they didn't even hand cuff him and were quite apologetic!

[myhome]

When the police turned up my other half said that they didn't even hand cuff him and were quite apologetic!

That could be a good sign or it might not be. Advice is always be on your guard up when they're around.......These things do go slowly most of the time....

[Don'tbelieveit!]

The police in our case still cannot understand what the whole thing is about. Obviously they have to follow allegations up but we now have 2 police officers and the CPS not understaning what the hell this is about!

[is there justice?]

I am really sorry you are on this site looking for help and advice although there is no better place to be.

My hub was also not handcuffed, was treated very well and sympathetically but I cannot endorse the above advice enough - they are not your friend and should not be given any information without your solicitor's approval.

The next thing you know they will say that the alleged behaviour caused her crazy behaviour! Don't make a case for them.

We have a lot against Hub's FA but it won't be revealed until Court hard though that is to cope with. Many times I have wondered if bringing it all up before would put an end to it but the truth is plod have been known to go back and 'guide' the accuser into changing dates, places, times etc.

[Faith]

The waiting for a CPS decision is the most difficult aspect as there is little way of controlling the thoughts in your mind.
Keep level.
Whatever the decision, there is an opportunity to fight this and, if necessary, all angles of the case including the accuser's previous form, will be taken into consideration with the help of a decent legal team.

In the interim, keep your heads above water, perhaps seek medical support and lets hope for a favourable decision from the CPS