Not having a good day...

[Innocentguy1983]

Hi Guys

Not having the best of days,

My mother called me last night and informed me that my sister doesn't want to give a statement to the police. She's doesn't want to be involved as she is scared about the repercussions it may have on her son. The FA from 17 years ago was school friend of my sisters and there is a link on Facebook and apparently my nephew has been getting bullied..

My wife was furious as she thinks it looks bad to the police/cps that my own sister went help her brother. My sister has to put her son first and I can respect that, I would do the same. Children come first second and third..

Despite the above I have been getting more anxious, as my (first) bail date is approaching in just under 3 weeks and I still haven't heard from the OIC regarding if im being charged. (Been over 8 weeks now, he did say it would take 4-6 weeks..)

My wife has been amazing, putting on a brave front.. but we both broke down this morning and started crying... its tough going to work and acting like everything is ok...

I have been going through so much case law trying to figure out what may or may not happen to me. So far I got worst case of 5 years best case of non custodial sentence.... this is crazy I don't even know if im being charged.. the mind is a very crazy thing!!

Anyway... rant over..

Sorry!

[Casehardened]

My mother called me last night and informed me that my sister doesn't want to give a statement to the police.



Despite the above I have been getting more anxious, as my (first) bail date is approaching in just under 3 weeks and I still haven't heard from the OIC regarding if im being charged. (Been over 8 weeks now, he did say it would take 4-6 weeks..)

Don't worry about 'ranting' i.e. worrying, that's what the forum is for!

Sadly, if your sister's statement was going to be for you, the police might not have even been interested in taking it!

As regards no contact from the OIC, again sadly as your case is standard/basic, whilst you can think of nothing else, it probably won't come to mind until a couple of days beforehand when he checks his diary. It is more than likely that when you hear from him that it will be a rebail

[Innocentguy1983]

Don't worry about 'ranting' i.e. worrying, that's what the forum is for!

Sadly, if your sister's statement was going to be for you, the police might not have even been interested in taking it!

As regards no contact from the OIC, again sadly as your case is standard/basic, whilst you can think of nothing else, it probably won't come to mind until a couple of days beforehand when he checks his diary. It is more than likely that when you hear from him that it will be a rebail

My mother said exactly the same thing Casehardened, police will only pass on the negatives to the CPS not my innocence.

Why do you think my case is standard/basic? Is because at the end of it comes down to her word against mine..?

Thanks for the comment though

I think anyone who is found guilty of a crime should have the time on bail removed from their sentence.. its is definitely a punishment in its self....

[Casehardened]

Why do you think my case is standard/basic? Is because at the end of it comes down to her word against mine..?

Yes, sorry that was a bit of a blasé comment.....just that when the sexual offences units get another historical allegation with no DNA, no corroboration, no other victims, they must think exactly that....ok get the video statement, arrest whoever she's named, run his DNA through the system in case we get lucky, and check his PC & phone just in case, then pass it to the CPS.

Obviously this is life & death to you but in reality unless you are high profile or there is definite DNA proof you committed the offence, you will just blend into the rest of the OIC's workload. (I used to get the rebail phone call the day before, hence my comment about the officer checking diary!)

[mumneedinghelp]

I sympathize with you about the waiting. My son was on bail for 5 months before he was charged and he was told a couple of times that when a decision was made they would give him a call. Rubbish!! He used to report around midday each time then when he was charged the bail time changed to 8am and it was only 2 weeks after the last bail date so we suspected something was going to happen. When they actually charged him he fainted and because he hit his head on the hard floor he had to be taken to hospital.
The police wanted my son's facebook messagse to the FA. He gave them his logon details but they said they couldn't get on and to print them out. He did this and posted them off to them and they said they hadn't received them so he took them in on his next bail date but on the police statement they say they couldn't access them.

He is now waiting for his plea hearing which is supposed to be on July 5th but there is a strong possibility that it will be put back because the cps haven't handed over the evidence. That is 2 deadlines they have missed. I agree with you that even if you are on bail if you are found guilty then the time on bail should be deducted from your sentence.

[Innocentguy1983]

Yes, sorry that was a bit of a blasé comment.....just that when the sexual offences units get another historical allegation with no DNA, no corroboration, no other victims, they must think exactly that....ok get the video statement, arrest whoever she's named, run his DNA through the system in case we get lucky, and check his PC & phone just in case, then pass it to the CPS.

Obviously this is life & death to you but in reality unless you are high profile or there is definite DNA proof you committed the offence, you will just blend into the rest of the OIC's workload. (I used to get the rebail phone call the day before, hence my comment about the officer checking diary!)

Thanks for the explanation! Not thought of it like that. They haven't asked to look at my pc, I best backup my data as it has family photos and financial data etc. they took my phone during the interview, maybe they checked that then. I have nothing on them, maybe a few episodes of game of thrones I acquired through certain sources hah..

I don't think they think I'm interested in children as the accusation was when I was 11-16.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Innocent guy - a belated 'welcome to the forum'.

My son was bailed for 7 months , and sadly for some it's even longer, so be prepared to sit it out. The waiting is awful and I remember the mood swings before and after bail dates. It's a horrible thing to go through.

My advice is to try and live as normal a life despite this going on and make sure you have regular distraction and excercise. Laughter is really beneficial, have a look on youtube for Laughter Yoga .

Good luck

[is there justice?]

It certainly wears you down more than anything we have experienced in the most dreadful way. I think a good cry helps now and then.

Try not to imagine the worst case scenario, although I know hub does all the time.

[Innocentguy1983]

[QUOTE=is there justice?;41697]It certainly wears you down more than anything we have experienced in the most dreadful way. I think a good cry helps now and then.

I do feel much better after a cry, I cant remember the last time I cried!!

Just a thought, if they are going to charge you. Will they wait till the bail date? Reason being, surely I must be given some time to ensure my solicitor is available for when this happens.

Mumneedinghelp - I have been following your story and it is awful what you are going through. I really wish all the best for your son, he is lucky to have a supporting mother as you! You are just like my mum!!


Thank you all so much for you kind words

[Innocentguy1983]

Annoyed...

I thought I would called the OIC and find out if he has had any update from the CPS. I then find out my case has been assigned to someone else and only works Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.. Thanks for letting me know....

So I asked if a decision has been made.. "There doesn't appear to be anything hear to say that there has been."

How ambiguous can you be, is it a yes or a no?

Grrr *grumble grumble*...

Police are rubbish ...

[myhome]

Hi IG - one thing that plod seems to forget is that there are several human beings with lives, family and feelings on the other end of their indifference... and it seems also that there is nothing anyone can do to speed things up or to make them realise that changing bail dates/times etc screws people up even more.......
If you have any electronic evidence FB messages etc from the FA either to you or to her friends referring to this or your life before, take screen shots to preserve them; don't copy and paste onto a word document because there is no evidence thereof their authenticity....