Trial date set

[is there justice?]

A bit harrowing yesterday with hub's plea hearing that took just over 2 hours! They had to establish that in the event of a guilty verdict, the magistrate's had sufficient sentencing powers. The prosecution said more than adequate. There was a lot of questioning by magistrates about whether there had been ANY touching, sexual or not, and even prosecutor laughed and said 'it's an office with people, of course there is touching'. Some of the prosecutor's base facts were inaccurate but Sol said let it unravel. Lots of discussion about allotting time to examination and cross examination. They all agreed it is lowest level but even so has a max of 12 months' imprisonment.

They relaxed bail conditions a bit. Sol came to see office layout which was helpful to him.

Hub was a wreck despite 2 diazepam. I was so angry in the court that it took every ounce of willpower to stay quiet.

At 3 this morning I had a bit of a eureka moment and I'd like anyone who knows anything about the scope of a private investigator to PM please. I have sent an enquiry to one. I may be able to get the info another way but would prefer a professional report.

Not looking forward to the trial, second week in September. Hoping the Barrister that Sol wants is available and she is away so won't know until Monday.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi ITJ .... Sorry you both had such a harrowing day,( it's b*****y awful isn't it???) at least that's one ordeal over and you've now got a time-frame. Also good that it's considered lowest level.
As far as a PI is concerned, I'm sure they come in all shapes and sizes... - have you thought of asking your sol if he knows of one?

I don't have any personal experience of using one but I did come across the Association of British Investigators which list members. http://www.theabi.org.uk/
There may be others.

Keep strong, and try and enjoy the summer (if we get any!)

[is there justice?]

Hi ITJ .... Sorry you both had such a harrowing day,( it's b*****y awful isn't it???) at least that's one ordeal over and you've now got a time-frame. Also good that it's considered lowest level.
As far as a PI is concerned, I'm sure they come in all shapes and sizes... - have you thought of asking your sol if he knows of one?

I don't have any personal experience of using one but I did come across the Association of British Investigators which list members. http://www.theabi.org.uk/
There may be others.

Keep strong, and try and enjoy the summer (if we get any!)

Thanks WGO, will ask Sol, why didn't I think of that?

Also looking for back up Barrister in case the one recommended can't do it.

Then it's off to the butchers for a pound of guts because mentally I feel I'm back to square one and I need to get a grip!

[whatsgoingon?]

Also looking for back up Barrister in case the one recommended can't do it.

Again, I think it's probably best to ask your solictor who he would use /recommends if the prefered one can't do it. Sometimes there are last minute delays because a prior case is going on longer than expected, so a hearing has to be delayed for a day or 2 . Sometimes a change of barrister is inevitable because he's/she's simply unable to represent you at the last minute.
When I was looking for a barrister, the one we wanted (and got in the end as we changed team completely), didn't reply to our messages, because she only takes on cases through a solicitor.

Then it's off to the butchers for a pound of guts because mentally I feel I'm back to square one and I need to get a grip![/QUOTE]
Enjoy! Bar-b-q-ed?

[can it get worse]

Hi,

Just wondering how you are going on with your solicitor? and your case? Has there been any developments? I hope you are both feeling better and managing to cope with it all. Is your partner getting more strength?

I am pretty new (and sad) on here - My partner is currently on bail due to a FA and the feeling is worse than anyone can ever imagine. Life has just come to a dreadful halt but we have to carry on. Sleeping is poor and I constantly go thru things.

The fantastic news for 'erin' is encouraging but it is heart breaking to think how far it went for him and other people......very scary.

[is there justice?]

Hi CIGW

It's great to see someone like Erin be exonerated and he richly deserves it but as you say others aren't so fortunate and it's as scary as hell.

Hub isn't really coping at the moment - his head is firmly in the sand and I can't get him to go through statements etc. He says they are just lies anyway but I think he needs to be fully prepared. To be honest he's worse the nearer we get but it isn't a time where a good old fashioned nagging will help to get him motivated.

The legal team have been active because I have feedback from friends and supporters. I am considering talking to them behind Hub's back to see where we are up to.

I fully understand what you are going through - the sleeplessness is a killer at a time when you most need good sleep. Try not to let things 'run on' in your head by imagining the worst case scenario. I think there are more correct verdicts than not though even one wrong verdict is too many. I hope you get good news soon

[can it get worse]

Hi ITJ,

My husband is just so sad (can't think of a better word). He's normally a confident, chatty person but now has had all the life taken out of him by this nasty allegation.
Yes I agree with you that there must be more correct verdicts but it nevertheless is such a horrid place to be. And nobody really can recognise this unless they have experienced it.

I hope your husband will take action once you've nagged him! And you will be able to generate some fierceness in to his fight back with your accuser.

[myhome]

Hi ITJ and CIGW - the disturbed sleep and sleeplessness is awful and just adds to the difficulties of getting through each day....

Some people find it helpful to keep and pen and notebook by their bed so that when the unwelcome thoughts and questions go racing round their head, they write them down. This helps in 2 ways - the most important is that by writing things down and seeing them written down, gets them out of your head; secondly it saves you trying to tell yourself, "I must remember to write that/ask that in the morning."

There are many different sleep aids from prescribed medication, to alternative remedies to self hypnosis and meditation. I have found a little material bag with dried lavender and hops in it by my pillow has a wonderfully calming and peaceful effect and is very relaxing. You can find links to self hypnosis and guided meditations on youtube which you can download..... Also make sure you aren't hungry when you go to bed because hunger will wake you up, so eating a slow release carbohydrate an hour or so beforehand may help, as will drinking a warm milky drink (no caffeine) such as a malted one. make sure you are physically tired (we're all emotionally tired but that sort of tired doesn't necessarily allow us to drop off) - being physically tired aids dropping off to sleep but do your activity a few hours before bed - not immediately before. If I have unwelcome thoughts I can't turn off, I play an "Alphabet game." I choose a subject - names, fruit, vegetables, mountains, composers whatever, and start at "A" go through the alphabet - ie Amy, Brenda, Carol, Doris etc etc. usually I'm asleep before "M".

Hope this helps......

[Stunned9]

A bit harrowing yesterday with hub's plea hearing that took just over 2 hours! They had to establish that in the event of a guilty verdict, the magistrate's had sufficient sentencing powers. The prosecution said more than adequate. There was a lot of questioning by magistrates about whether there had been ANY touching, sexual or not, and even prosecutor laughed and said 'it's an office with people, of course there is touching'. Some of the prosecutor's base facts were inaccurate but Sol said let it unravel. Lots of discussion about allotting time to examination and cross examination. They all agreed it is lowest level but even so has a max of 12 months' imprisonment.

They relaxed bail conditions a bit. Sol came to see office layout which was helpful to him.

Hub was a wreck despite 2 diazepam. I was so angry in the court that it took every ounce of willpower to stay quiet.

At 3 this morning I had a bit of a eureka moment and I'd like anyone who knows anything about the scope of a private investigator[/B][/B][/B] to PM please. I have sent an enquiry to one. I may be able to get the info another way but would prefer a professional report.

Not looking forward to the trial, second week in September. Hoping the Barrister that Sol wants is available and she is away so won't know until Monday.

Please stay strong. It will be over soon and hopefully to a correct conclusion!

Also you guys should go out maybe it will help? Helped a bit in our case

[is there justice?]

Thanks for your kind thoughts. We do go out now and again but I won't pretend it's easy. It's complicated because he and FA were very close so neither can deny they hugged etc. I'm also dealing with my feelings over all that.
Hey ho, worse things happen at sea so I have a little cry, dig deep and carry on

[Dave]

I was the same, took me ages before I was persuaded to read the bullpoop statements, eventually I did it in my own time, with NOBODY else around, hours of reading and re-reading with notes aplenty. Maybe suggest an afternoon on his own while you pop out when he can have a good read/write/rant/cry on his own?

The sleep thing isnt easy, I was self-medicating with large amounts of alcohol which is not to be recommended but as I was already a 'bit of a drinker' I could handle the morning after. One for the doctor maybe?

Good luck, any questions just drop us a line.

[is there justice?]

Thanks Dave

Hopefully we will get ready in time!

My son is finding an awful lot of inappropriate content on FB between her (FA) partner and her 12 yr old son (very sexually focused 'humour'). I'm pretty sure her partner is the driving force and as a family they seem to have a more explicit way of life. I wonder if this would be of any help at all? I know, check with sol

[Dave]

Thanks Dave

Hopefully we will get ready in time!

My son is finding an awful lot of inappropriate content on FB between her (FA) partner and her 12 yr old son (very sexually focused 'humour'). I'm pretty sure her partner is the driving force and as a family they seem to have a more explicit way of life. I wonder if this would be of any help at all? I know, check with sol

Keep detailed notes, sceenshots of fb pages and Yes check with Sol

[Boys don't cry]

Is There Justice?

Your husband can be proud of his son taking action to help his father against the FA.

I'll second Dave about the screenshots and I personally find inappropriate to divulge "very sexually focused humour" (from our own words) to a 12 year old child.

Solicitors and barristers do work hand in hand but sometimes one will be keen on presenting some evidence in court to the CPS meanwhile the other less.

Collect as much as you can and they will select the evidence which seems to be relevant.

Your support to others as it has already been mentioned is brilliant.

Take care.

[is there justice?]

Thanks Dave and BDC

My son (hub's stepson really but my son enjoys having 2 'real' Dads) is on a mission. He also works with us and Ms Flirty FA was very forward with him at times to the point that sol says he has grounds to report it, particularly one occasion when he was just 17 but don't want to say too much here at the moment. It will come out in hub's trial anyway.