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  • Accused of rape???

    I was just lying in bed up until an hour ago when someone knocks at the door.

    When i answer, it is a police constable, and says he is part of the 'rape team' do i know such and such a person, he asked a few questions before asking me to attend an interview tomorrow at 1pm.

    So now a little more details.

    He hasn't told me exactly what has been said, or what i am being accused of but it's pretty obvious.

    so, first up.

    I am 17, i would of been 16 at the time, and so would she.

    we was kind of FWB and was on and off for a few months, because of situations like this, i keep all of my texts from any girls i have 'been' with.

    Now, since the conversation was back and forth facebook and texts, a lot of the messages are missing but i did manage to find the most obvious part where i had said

    me: "You make me feel like a dick"

    her: "How does that make you not trust me though and how do i make you feel like a dick"

    me: "you let me **** you, then tell me you didn't want it? if you just said it's not what u wanted seriously, i wouldn't of ****ing minded! Instead you wait until it's too late, then make feel like a right dickhead for doing it! And you saying it was hurting so we couldn't, you couild of just said you don't actually want it! rather than lie.

    her: I didn't lie, that was the truth and i didn't say i didnt want it, i just said i wish we could of talked more instead of talking over facebook and getting duck all sorted as usual, and then we end up like this and im sick of it, and you can't say nout you said you wanted a relationship then ****ed me and decided you didn't want a relationship and go on about liking someone else.

    then it just went on about me and my ex.

    at the interview, what is going to happen? is there anything i shouldn't say?

  • #2
    Hi and welcome although it's not a nice situation to welcome naybody here.

    Am not good on the legal stuff, other are, but I can offer you my support whenever you need it.

    Take care!

    PS: Do not contatc her under any circumstances!
    Last edited by Don'tbelieveit!; 5 June 2013, 02:14 PM. Reason: Added text

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Don'tbelieveit! View Post
      Hi and welcome although it's not a nice situation to welcome naybody here.

      Am not good on the legal stuff, other are, but I can offer you my support whenever you need it.

      Take care!

      PS: Do not contatc her under any circumstances!
      I would like to add that i'm in the UK, just incase someone is unsure.

      And upon checking the dates, the first time we had sex was a couple of weeks are i turned 16, and about 2 months before she would of turned 16 - but i don't know if the allegation is about that one time, or after she was 16 when we had sex on a regular basis.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hello and welcome.

        -Make sure a solicitor is present with you during the police interview.

        -Be polite, humble and only tell the truth.

        -Do not go into details and answer briefly.Do not talk about all these texts and facebook conversation you had with her.

        -Get a usb key and copy and paste all the texts from your phone, facebook or emails asap.
        Print screen would be even a better option but you must keep this key somewhere safe.

        You will have excellent support from this website and other members will soon give you extra advice.
        Non,je ne regrette rien.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Boys don't cry View Post
          Hello and welcome.

          -Make sure a solicitor is present with you during the police interview.

          -Be polite, humble and only tell the truth.

          -Do not go into details and answer briefly.Do not talk about all these texts and facebook conversation you had with her.

          -Get a usb key and copy and paste all the texts from your phone, facebook or emails asap.
          Print screen would be even a better option but you must keep this key somewhere safe.

          You will have excellent support from this website and other members will soon give you extra advice.
          The facebook conversations were deleted months ago, all i have is texts which i could screenshot on my phone and put on a usb, but why would i not just show them the texts?

          does this give them reason to take my phone and look at everything on it, and what has been on it?

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi WTF .... Sorry you've found yourself on here, but welcome -

            BDC is spot on (as usual!).
            - Make sure you have a solicitor with you, preferably one that specialises in these matters. Is there's someone older and more experienced who can help you with this? Can you talk to your parents about it?

            - If you look under 'specialist solicitor' in the search engine, there are several there. If there isn't one listed in your area, just give your county or nearest large town, someone may be able to recommend one.

            - You really need to call them before the interview , and you may be able to have the interview put off till the solicitor can accompany you.

            - You are also entitled to have an adult with you and I would strongly recommend you do.

            - If arrested, you are entitled to make a phone-call to a family member or other adult to let them know where you are - again, do it.

            -They may well take your phone and computer if you are arrested, so copy everything down you want to keep (phone nos, photos, messages etc).

            Keep coming back on when you have questions or just when you want to chat about it.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi and welcome to the forum - but sorry you had to find us. You will get loads of great advice and support on here and you have been given some already...

              I can only echo this advice and add, plod are NOT your friends, they will be looking for enough evidence to make a conviction cos it makes their targets look good....
              Anything you show them or say to them during your interview will more than likely not stop them trying to get enough evidence to convict you. if you give it to them without anyone having seen it - they have been known to "lose" stuff like that or "forget" they have been given it.

              Only answer questions you are asked - don't elaborate or give them info they haven't asked for. You must have a solicitor with you to advise you and make sure the interview is carried out correctly, and take a parent with you too....

              This could be a long bumpy journey, or it could be over in a matter of weeks....keep strong....MH
              "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

              Comment


              • #8
                So what happens after the interview? do i just go home? get arrested, or do they decide on what to do during the interview?

                I was told if i can't make it for any reason, to just tell them - so i'm assuming it's a voluntary interview, what happens if i don't attend?

                really i just want information on the outcomes, and what can happen, because i am clueless.

                I have read through my texts over a over, and took screenshots of her writing me a long paragraph on how "she didn't care about me as much as she made out" that "I was **** in bed" and she "Only wanted me for sex"

                on several occasions during the texts, i do tell her i don't want to be with her, because she isn't my type, and just not my kind of girl 'in bed' to which she replies she will be however i want her to be, and i had at that point replied that i don't mean that, and regardless of how she 'acts' it won't be good enough, because she isn't doing it because 'she wants to' and i just tell her to find someone else and be herself.

                note, that these texts are all after the last time i ever saw her, and been doing some searching and what matches what kind of thing she would do are as follows

                Making the allegation to get attention, not understanding how serious it actually is.

                Making the allegation out of spite, because i no longer wanted to be with her (which doesn't make much sense, since this is over 6 months ago, and she has been with a different guy for a few months since, and i haven't spoken to her at all for around 5 months)

                Making the allegation seeking compensation - which isn't something i think she would do, but money is the root of all evil, and i didn't know her too well, so i suppose it is possible.


                upon closer inspection at the dates, she tells me she is "16" in 3 months around june, and the first time we had sex was end of november, to the start of december (as i said, i don't have the facebook conversations, so i am missing a lot of information) i am unsure when, but i know it was before the 16th of december, and after the 30th. so she would of also been 16.

                How does the text from her previously mentioned about her 'wanting me for sex' stand? or is it irrelevant?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hello again,
                  It's difficult to say what'll happen at the interview or after it, but you really shouldn't go to it on your own and without a solicitor present. The chances are you are are entitled to legal aid, so I strongly recommend you contact one tomorrow morning, ask to speak to the solicitor directly and tell him or her what is happening, how you should proceed and whether they would accompany you to the interview. They might suggest you get in touch with the police station to put it back.

                  - Here is the link for specialist solicitors: http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...list+solicitor

                  - If you live in the London area, I can recommend someone excellent who represented my own son when he was falsley accused.

                  - If you can't get hold of one, then put the meeting off until you can. There may be a small charge to have a solicitor with you at this interview as you haven't been arrested.

                  The trouble is, that the police do sometimes distort things, or make things seem other than they are, or jump on something you've said which is totally innocent and make it monstreous. MH is absolutely right, they have a tactic of leaving pauses in the conversation, knowing that most people feel they have to fill them in - Yes/NO no, that's not right, no, that's not how it happen, that didn't happen etc is plenty - DON'T EXPAND!

                  Has she put in a formal claim to the police? Was she interviewed by them?
                  Last edited by whatsgoingon?; 5 June 2013, 09:44 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by WTF... View Post
                    So what happens after the interview? do i just go home? get arrested, or do they decide on what to do during the interview?

                    I was told if i can't make it for any reason, to just tell them - so i'm assuming it's a voluntary interview, what happens if i don't attend?
                    After the interview they will either arrest you and either release you on bail or remand you in custody (though this seems very unlikely in your case); or they will thank you for coming and say they need to make further investigations; or they may say thank you for coming there is no case to answer......it's impossible to tell.........

                    Yes it is a "voluntary" interview. However, if you don't attend and don't tell them why, they will arrest you anyway and you'll have to go, so it's best to go as a Voluntary Attender (VA). It shows you're co-operating with them...
                    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi WTF

                      I would not simply not attend the interview because they could take that wrongly. If you can't get a solicitor in time, I would phone them and ask for postponenemt. I did that for my hubby too and it was no problem at all1

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by whatsgoingon? View Post
                        - If you can't get hold of one, then put the meeting off until you can. There may be a small charge to have a solicitor with you at this interview as you haven't been arrested.
                        My solicitor told me that everyone was entitled to free legal representation at the first interview...I haven't been arrested and he knew this when he came with me (nearly 7 months ago) and he hasn't sent me an invoice so I guess it was free.................??????????????
                        "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by myhome View Post
                          My solicitor told me that everyone was entitled to free legal representation at the first interview...I haven't been arrested and he knew this when he came with me (nearly 7 months ago) and he hasn't sent me an invoice so I guess it was free.................??????????????
                          I always thought solicitors cost a lot? I'm 17 and haven't had any dealing like this, never been arrested, no cautions no dealings with the police or any authority at all, so have no idea.

                          I was going to stick with the duty solicitor, can't be all that bad?

                          I wasn't not going to attend, i just want to know my options.

                          and can they really arrest me on what she has said? there is 100% definite no evidence, except her word - and this being the town and the people so uneducated, one of her friends may 'claim' they saw it, but as said, no one in this town is really educated, and this will bring big holes into stories.

                          I'm not sure it was a formal complaint, or if she has had an interview or not, this is basically what happened.

                          I was lying in bed, and i heard the door so i threw on the closest pair of jeans and went down stairs, i answered the door and the guy asked if i was such and such a person, i replied that i was, he said do you know such and such a person and i replied that i did, he said that he wants me to go to an interview over a matter concerning both me, and her so i said just let me get ready then, he then mentioned that it's not right now and it will be tomorrow at 1pm.

                          I asked what it was about and he said a complaint has been made, shortly followed by that he is with the rape team, and hasn't really told me anything else, so i have no idea what to do.

                          and rather than postpone, i would rather just get it over with - right now since the guy left, i have had a million thoughts going through my head from the lack of information i was given, and really just want something to grasp onto so i can get my head around it.

                          If it's just a complaint she has made, and not had an interview etc, what would happen if i attend and interview and then when she is asked she withdraws what she has said, or simply doesn't attend?
                          Last edited by WTF...; 5 June 2013, 10:02 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'm sorry, that you have to experience something like that at your age.
                            Gather as much of your communication with her as you can. From facebook to phone messages, everything. Make backups and so on.
                            I hope you won't face a long investigation, but I can tell you, that the law enforcement tries to twist everything you say and said. (At least that's what I can tell). So it might be better for you to speak to a lawyer (solicitor apparently seems to be the UK word for it?) before handing anything over to the police or even speak to them.
                            I would never speak to the police without legal support.
                            I hope you are okay and keep your head up!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              - If she has, they have to investigate it. This can be a really heavy business... please get someone close to you to help you through this, preferably someone older and wiser .
                              - During the interview, they may decide whether to release you or to arrest you. By arresting you, they can also confiscate your phone and computer and I think, search your home.
                              - If they arrest you, you will be told your rights (listen carefully) you will be held in a cell , possibly for several hours, the you will then be formally interviewed. If you are, this will be recorded. You will be told that you are entitled to be represented by the solicitor of your choice, and failing that the duty solicitor.
                              - As I said before, you are entitled to have a responsible adult present (at 17, you are actually considered as an adult by plod but everyone is entitled to this) Again, I would recommend everyone takes advantage of this. You are also allowed to make a phone-call to inform someone of where you are - do it. This will alert someone at what time you were arrested, where you are whether they can come and meet you etc. It's really important.

                              On no account should anyone not be represented by a solicitor if they find themselves in this position

                              - They will probably want to take DNA samples - blood test, a little swab from the inside of your cheek and maybe pubic hair.
                              - If arrested, it may be several hours before they release you. Make sure that before you go, you have money to get home, even if it means getting a cab.

                              - They should , then release you and give you a date to return, they might give you bail conditions then (eg not to get in touch with her) or sometime later.

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