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Constantanxiety - I have just signed up to this forum to reply to you as what happened to you is almost identical to what happened to me on Friday 17th May, and I've been out my mind with worry so much that I haven't even been able to search google for help.
Let me tell you my story. I went out Friday the 17th, was in a pub in the smoking area with a couple of friends and there was a massive american contingent outside. I got chatting to one of the american girls, and after about 20 minutes of chatting she took me to the bar and bought us both 2 shots each (sambucca I think). I was already pretty battered at this stage, and these 2 shots hit me quite hard. My friends left me as she was buying the shots to go on to another bar, so it was just us 2 (and her american lot) and we sat in the smoking area chatting. She told me she was visiting for 11 days as a teacher/student at the college studying religion, where she was also staying. I live literally 2 minutes from the college, so when I finished my drink, I offered to go somewhere else or go back to mine. She was obviously really into me, so said back to mine. We walked back to my house hand in hand, whilst walking she would suddenly stop me in my tracks and stick her tongue down my throat. On the walk I mentioned that I would go down on her when we got back to mine, to which she replied 'I will go down on you too'.
We got into mine and went straight into my room, which is immediately to the left when you enter the house on the ground floor. She undressed herself and I underdressed myself, then I started giving her oral sex from behind (to try and get myself 'up'). She was moaning and enjoying it. She then briefly gave me oral but I wasn't into it as I still wasn't hard, so I went down on her again. After a couple of minutes I started to get hard (but it was a semi at best), so I went inside her, thrust for a few seconds but realised I still wasn't really hard enough and really needed the toilet, so I pulled out then went upstairs to the toilet - passing my flatmate on the way as I had to walk through the living room to go to the toilet. After emptying my bladder, I walked back into my room and this girl suddenly had her jeans on and was putting her top on. I was confused, and asked what she was doing. 'I have to go. I have to go' she said. I asked why but she just kept saying 'I have to go...I'll see you tomorrow'. Confused, but seeing she clearly wanted to leave for some reason, I walked her to the door and directed her back to the college (end of the street, turn left and it's right infront of you). I went back to my room, got into bed, extremely drunk and had a phone call from a girl I'm sort of seeing but it's nothing too serious. Chatted with her then passed out.
I woke up at 11.30am and looked around my room and noticed at the end of my bed was this girls knickers, handbag, a cardigan and a top. I was confused, she said 'see you tomorrow', was she planning on coming back? I was worried for her as she clearly needed her stuff, so I checked her bag for her mobile phone and none was in there, but her credit card which she paid for our drinks for was in there, so I knew she needed it. Knowing she was only staying round the corner at the college, I jumped out of bed, threw last nights trousers and shoes on and a t shirt, put all her stuff in a plastic bag and asked my flatmate where the college halls were, and also phoned a mate I was in the pub with and told him how she came back to mine, barely had sex due to my inability to get an erection due to being so drink,and that she left pretty quick and I've now woken to find her stuff and need to return it to her. I walked to the halls and went to the reception area, to which I spoke with a young girl working. I asked if some Americans were staying because I have one of their's stuff. She said she was an aware of an incident during the night but it was a different guy working the night shift. She had some notes scrawled down with this girls name written on it, so I knew she had been there. It turns out she wasn't staying at this particular college, and there was another college about 15 minutes walk away where she was actually staying. I didn't know this last night and obviously wouldn't have let her leave without a taxi if I realised she was staying at this other college. The guy who dealt with her who worked the night shift came in and we all chatted, and he phoned the other college and said an ambulance had been called, and there's police there. They are on their way over to get her stuff and ask me a few questions. I thought it odd that an ambulance had been called, but they said she had no money so I guessed it was because she had no other way of getting home. The police arrived and told the receptionists to leave the room, to which they then arrested me for rape... It was the worst moment of my life and the world went through my feet. I couldn't believe it, I feel sick typing this and anyone who knows me knows I would never do anything of this sort.
I was taken to the station, and asked to speak to my dad. I gave him a tearful phonecall to explain my situation but couldn't give details, just saying 'You know me, you know I wouldn't do this'. I was then locked in a cell for nearly 3 hours until a doctor arrived to take blood samples and swab me over for DNA. I was then placed back in a cell for a further 2 and a half hours until my solicitor arrived. I told my solicitor what happened, to which she stated the allegations. This girl alleged that we did get along and kiss in the pub, that story matched up. However she says when we got to mine, we first had consentual doggy style sex, to which I tried to put it in her bum (and therefore accused of attempted anal rape). After this we then had missionary sex to which she was telling me to stop, to which she said I replied 'hold on I'm nearly finished', then ejaculated. THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN! First of all, I gave her oral sex from behind, not sex, as I wasn't even hard at this point. I licked both her vagina and anal areas, with my hands and fingers around these areas too, but not my penis! The missionary sex is true, however she said nothing about stopping or didn't act at any point like she didn't want it, and I certainly didn't ejaculate! I barely had an erection, let alone was I possible of ejaculating! I then had the police interview, which last 1 hour and 30 minutes, as I had a lot to say, and I was grilled intensely but gave a truthful account of what happened. Whilst I was at the station the police came round my house and took my bedding and the jumper I wore that night, and interviewed my flatmate who was in the living room the whole time she was round. All he told the police was that he could hear her moans of pleasure, that the walls are paper thin and if she did struggle/shout stop then he would have heard it.
I was then finger-printed and had my mug shot taken, and then bailed for a month.
My solicitor says most rape allegations which start with consentual sex rarely make it to court, however I have now been waiting a week now and have barely eaten, had horrible anxiety and just feeling the worst I ever have done my whole life with worry. I had to tell the girl I'm sort of seeing about what happened, as the police took my phone so she knew something was up as I hadn't messaged her in a day, plus she was part of my explanation to the police as I spoke to her on the phone after the american girl left so I thought the police may contact her. This was one of the hardest and horrible things I have had to do. Tell her I slept with someone else and that person is now accusing me of rape. She knows I didn't do it, as she knows me and that I would never do anything like that, but it was one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life. The police still have my phone, they said they couldn't download it on Saturday and to phone back Sunday. I phoned back Sunday and was told they still hadn't downloaded it. Told the same thing Monday too. I went back Wednesday and I was then told they are now keeping my phone until a decision has been made. I need support from family and friends more than ever and not having a phone is extremely difficult. I don't understand how they said I will be getting it back once it's been downloaded, and have now changed their tune to say they are keeping it?!
Anyway I am now in limbo waiting to see what happens. I believe this girl returned to America this weekend, I'm not sure what bearing this would have had on anything. If you could please let me know how your case goes constantanxiety, as I am going through exactly the same thing as you.
Let me tell you my story. I went out Friday the 17th, was in a pub in the smoking area with a couple of friends and there was a massive american contingent outside. I got chatting to one of the american girls, and after about 20 minutes of chatting she took me to the bar and bought us both 2 shots each (sambucca I think). I was already pretty battered at this stage, and these 2 shots hit me quite hard. My friends left me as she was buying the shots to go on to another bar, so it was just us 2 (and her american lot) and we sat in the smoking area chatting. She told me she was visiting for 11 days as a teacher/student at the college studying religion, where she was also staying. I live literally 2 minutes from the college, so when I finished my drink, I offered to go somewhere else or go back to mine. She was obviously really into me, so said back to mine. We walked back to my house hand in hand, whilst walking she would suddenly stop me in my tracks and stick her tongue down my throat. On the walk I mentioned that I would go down on her when we got back to mine, to which she replied 'I will go down on you too'.
We got into mine and went straight into my room, which is immediately to the left when you enter the house on the ground floor. She undressed herself and I underdressed myself, then I started giving her oral sex from behind (to try and get myself 'up'). She was moaning and enjoying it. She then briefly gave me oral but I wasn't into it as I still wasn't hard, so I went down on her again. After a couple of minutes I started to get hard (but it was a semi at best), so I went inside her, thrust for a few seconds but realised I still wasn't really hard enough and really needed the toilet, so I pulled out then went upstairs to the toilet - passing my flatmate on the way as I had to walk through the living room to go to the toilet. After emptying my bladder, I walked back into my room and this girl suddenly had her jeans on and was putting her top on. I was confused, and asked what she was doing. 'I have to go. I have to go' she said. I asked why but she just kept saying 'I have to go...I'll see you tomorrow'. Confused, but seeing she clearly wanted to leave for some reason, I walked her to the door and directed her back to the college (end of the street, turn left and it's right infront of you). I went back to my room, got into bed, extremely drunk and had a phone call from a girl I'm sort of seeing but it's nothing too serious. Chatted with her then passed out.
I woke up at 11.30am and looked around my room and noticed at the end of my bed was this girls knickers, handbag, a cardigan and a top. I was confused, she said 'see you tomorrow', was she planning on coming back? I was worried for her as she clearly needed her stuff, so I checked her bag for her mobile phone and none was in there, but her credit card which she paid for our drinks for was in there, so I knew she needed it. Knowing she was only staying round the corner at the college, I jumped out of bed, threw last nights trousers and shoes on and a t shirt, put all her stuff in a plastic bag and asked my flatmate where the college halls were, and also phoned a mate I was in the pub with and told him how she came back to mine, barely had sex due to my inability to get an erection due to being so drink,and that she left pretty quick and I've now woken to find her stuff and need to return it to her. I walked to the halls and went to the reception area, to which I spoke with a young girl working. I asked if some Americans were staying because I have one of their's stuff. She said she was an aware of an incident during the night but it was a different guy working the night shift. She had some notes scrawled down with this girls name written on it, so I knew she had been there. It turns out she wasn't staying at this particular college, and there was another college about 15 minutes walk away where she was actually staying. I didn't know this last night and obviously wouldn't have let her leave without a taxi if I realised she was staying at this other college. The guy who dealt with her who worked the night shift came in and we all chatted, and he phoned the other college and said an ambulance had been called, and there's police there. They are on their way over to get her stuff and ask me a few questions. I thought it odd that an ambulance had been called, but they said she had no money so I guessed it was because she had no other way of getting home. The police arrived and told the receptionists to leave the room, to which they then arrested me for rape... It was the worst moment of my life and the world went through my feet. I couldn't believe it, I feel sick typing this and anyone who knows me knows I would never do anything of this sort.
I was taken to the station, and asked to speak to my dad. I gave him a tearful phonecall to explain my situation but couldn't give details, just saying 'You know me, you know I wouldn't do this'. I was then locked in a cell for nearly 3 hours until a doctor arrived to take blood samples and swab me over for DNA. I was then placed back in a cell for a further 2 and a half hours until my solicitor arrived. I told my solicitor what happened, to which she stated the allegations. This girl alleged that we did get along and kiss in the pub, that story matched up. However she says when we got to mine, we first had consentual doggy style sex, to which I tried to put it in her bum (and therefore accused of attempted anal rape). After this we then had missionary sex to which she was telling me to stop, to which she said I replied 'hold on I'm nearly finished', then ejaculated. THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN! First of all, I gave her oral sex from behind, not sex, as I wasn't even hard at this point. I licked both her vagina and anal areas, with my hands and fingers around these areas too, but not my penis! The missionary sex is true, however she said nothing about stopping or didn't act at any point like she didn't want it, and I certainly didn't ejaculate! I barely had an erection, let alone was I possible of ejaculating! I then had the police interview, which last 1 hour and 30 minutes, as I had a lot to say, and I was grilled intensely but gave a truthful account of what happened. Whilst I was at the station the police came round my house and took my bedding and the jumper I wore that night, and interviewed my flatmate who was in the living room the whole time she was round. All he told the police was that he could hear her moans of pleasure, that the walls are paper thin and if she did struggle/shout stop then he would have heard it.
I was then finger-printed and had my mug shot taken, and then bailed for a month.
My solicitor says most rape allegations which start with consentual sex rarely make it to court, however I have now been waiting a week now and have barely eaten, had horrible anxiety and just feeling the worst I ever have done my whole life with worry. I had to tell the girl I'm sort of seeing about what happened, as the police took my phone so she knew something was up as I hadn't messaged her in a day, plus she was part of my explanation to the police as I spoke to her on the phone after the american girl left so I thought the police may contact her. This was one of the hardest and horrible things I have had to do. Tell her I slept with someone else and that person is now accusing me of rape. She knows I didn't do it, as she knows me and that I would never do anything like that, but it was one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life. The police still have my phone, they said they couldn't download it on Saturday and to phone back Sunday. I phoned back Sunday and was told they still hadn't downloaded it. Told the same thing Monday too. I went back Wednesday and I was then told they are now keeping my phone until a decision has been made. I need support from family and friends more than ever and not having a phone is extremely difficult. I don't understand how they said I will be getting it back once it's been downloaded, and have now changed their tune to say they are keeping it?!
Anyway I am now in limbo waiting to see what happens. I believe this girl returned to America this weekend, I'm not sure what bearing this would have had on anything. If you could please let me know how your case goes constantanxiety, as I am going through exactly the same thing as you.
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