Still crying

[Terry]

Hi people
It's been two weeks now of being accused of "r" it's still killing me the wife has changed the bank account and still thinks its me , I don't no how much longer I can handle this , waiting for DNA I hope , but I feel like everybody thinks its me , my youngest son is texting me now , at first I thought it was him , I've told him I would stand by him if he wanted to tell me anything , he's done two things before like this , forcing him self on girls , but I said I'd say nothing , and help him all the way , he keeps saying wait till the DNA is done.
I don't think this will help who ever done it in the long run ," what do you think".

[myhome]

Hi people
I don't no how much longer I can handle this ".

Hi Terry - dig deep and don't let them win

[Izzy]

The waiting is horrendous. There are things you can do to help yourself - see the Doctor if you haven't already done so, hopefully he will be understanding and give you something to take the edge off a bit.
Try and force yourself not to sit and dwell, sometimes easier said than done I know.
Try and get out of the house, a long walk can help a bit even though it's the last thing you will feel like doing but it does help to clear your head a bit.

I'm confused a bit by the last part of your post in which you wrote about your Son and DNA.

[Terry]

Terry

The waiting is horrendous. There are things you can do to help yourself - see the Doctor if you haven't already done so, hopefully he will be understanding and give you something to take the edge off a bit.
Try and force yourself not to sit and dwell, sometimes easier said than done I know.
Try and get out of the house, a long walk can help a bit even though it's the last thing you will feel like doing but it does help to clear your head a bit.

I'm confused a bit by the last part of your post in which you wrote about your Son and DNA.

Hi , I no it's not me , I've done some silly things in the parst but not this , if my DNA is clear do the police then go onto the other males in the house.

[Izzy]

I would think they would investigate the other people who were there..

I don't know if you have read Casehardeneds excellent sticky but it explains everything down to a tee, from the practical to the emotional.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[is there justice?]

I feel for you Terry. Hopefully the DNA will clear you sooner rather than later.
In terms of your emotional state, it's reckoned that it takes 4 weeks to get over the worst of a traumatic shock, which is exactly what a false allegation is, so don't expect to feel more relaxed too soon. What you are going through is a horrible 'norm'.
Even though we are on a more even keel after 6 weeks, there are still times I sit and have a good cry or when hub retracts to his shell.
As said, dig deep, and hold on to your inner strength

[Terry]

I feel for you Terry. Hopefully the DNA will clear you sooner rather than later.
In terms of your emotional state, it's reckoned that it takes 4 weeks to get over the worst of a traumatic shock, which is exactly what a false allegation is, so don't expect to feel more relaxed too soon. What you are going through is a horrible 'norm'.
Even though we are on a more even keel after 6 weeks, there are still times I sit and have a good cry or when hub retracts to his shell.
As said, dig deep, and hold on to your inner strength

I no it's hard I just need to toughen up , easer said than done, but I am just to find out who done all this .
Thanks for ya support , god I need it xx

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Hi Terry

You will toughen up to a certain extent with time and ITJ is right with the approximate 4 weeks, at least in my case. You do still have really bad days but you learn to cope. I'm not really the kind to cry, I sort of freeze up, turn cold, expressionless and unable to cope. But now, five months later, I have become a real fighter, googling, reading, collecting evidence, as well as working more than full time, doing the garden and usual household work. It was a very steep climb up the hill to get where I am now, and to be able to my best to cope more than just cope, but I'm there and I ain't budging, no matter what.

If you feel the need for one-to-one messaging, please feel free to contact me!

[lonley place]

Hi Terry & welcome...you have set foot on the hard path of FA and the shock of that is still with you.
In time you will find your inner strength and begin to think more logically .. you will begin to look for ways to fight back...
Try to remember as much as you can about where you were, who you were with ect
around the time the alledged rape took place.

Hang on in there, its a horrendous journey, we are here to help all we can. xx LP

[Izzy]

Hi Terry

You will toughen up to a certain extent with time and ITJ is right with the approximate 4 weeks, at least in my case. You do still have really bad days but you learn to cope. I'm not really the kind to cry, I sort of freeze up, turn cold, expressionless and unable to cope. But now, five months later, I have become a real fighter, googling, reading, collecting evidence, as well as working more than full time, doing the garden and usual household work. It was a very steep climb up the hill to get where I am now, and to be able to my best to cope more than just cope, but I'm there and I ain't budging, no matter what.

If you feel the need for one-to-one messaging, please feel free to contact me!

I think you've hit the nail on the head DBI, trying to keep busy is a way of keeping some kind of sanity.

It's such a traumatic shock, it's so easy to shut down with it all, I must admit it took me quite a bit longer than four weeks I'm ashamed to say.
Trying to find something to occupy your time does help, even if it just takes it out of your mind for a brief moment.

[myhome]

HI Terry - I'm able to write a bit more than previously - as I'm on this horrendous journey too - 6 months in and every time I think I'm coping ok and will move on whilst waiting (not even been arrested yet), something else comes up and smacks me in the face. I then reach what I think is rock bottom again and that I won't be able to get back up from this one - but somehow I do - with so much support from everyone - though I'm struggling this time having been told I'm likely to be dismissed from my job which I love and is the one stable thing in my life at the moment.

What I'm trying to say, is that, I think most people have a little tiny rational bit inside somewhere that despite all the sh*te and cr*p that is thrown at us, is still protected by the brain and helps us to start to come back up again, and the important thing is that we don't let that tiny little rational bit get smothered so it can't do its job any more. Lots of us - including me - say, " I can't do this anymore!" because that's what it feels like, but we also have ask - what are we going to do instead? To-day when with one of my counsellors, and I started to say that, I changed it to, "I don't know HOW I'm going to carry on doing this..." which is only a little change of words but is not so final as the other sentence..... Hope that makes sense and is helpful for you too....

Take care and keep fighting through your tears.......MH

[How did this happen]

In terms of your emotional state, it's reckoned that it takes 4 weeks to get over the worst of a traumatic shock, which is exactly what a false allegation is, so don't expect to feel more relaxed too soon. What you are going through is a horrible 'norm'.

Hi Terry
The above was true for me as well I was definitely calmer on the whole four weeks after my partner was FA'd it was almost like my brain and body couldn't maintain the high stress any linger.

Our nightmare is over but I found I knew my partner was innocent so I just HAD to believe it would be ok. It was the only way I could cope much as I tried to give myself a reality check.

Keep strong, as the other members have suggested try and get out see people and socialise and I hope it's all ok
x

[Rights Fighter]

Hi people
It's been two weeks now of being accused of "r" it's still killing me the wife has changed the bank account and still thinks its me , I don't no how much longer I can handle this , waiting for DNA I hope , but I feel like everybody thinks its me , my youngest son is texting me now , at first I thought it was him , I've told him I would stand by him if he wanted to tell me anything , he's done two things before like this , forcing him self on girls , but I said I'd say nothing , and help him all the way , he keeps saying wait till the DNA is done.
I don't think this will help who ever done it in the long run ," what do you think".

Is your son a suspect?

[Terry]

Is your son a suspect?

Well I've told them all about him now , but I'm not shaw who done it , I think it's down to DNA ,
When I'm cleared do they tell my who their going to investigate next , or am I no initialed to no that they mite no by the DNA , for it will be like mine if there family, !!

[whatsgoingon?]

Your DNA will resemble that of another blood relative. I would have thought that the closest to yours would be that of a sibbling - a brother or sister.