A waiting game

[Terry]

Hi everyone , yes it's hard I sit here shaking with tears rolling down my face ,for the 3rd day running
Being acussed of rape is like having your soul taken . For me I find it worse cus it's a family member .the mother in law " yes you heard me right" noing it's not me is even worse , and the rest of the family thinks it me. The hardest bit is , i think I no who it was , and brakes my heart.

How this affects the hole family brings me to my knees , DNA can take forever but it will clear me for I am not guilty .

My life is like two hands held out apart at this moment , I just hope they come to gether like I'm praying
And I am . For my wife who I love so deeply, I think even when I'm cleared of all this s**t I won't live without her ,
I pray she will have me back, I end this now with more tears I'm swelling up & falling down at the same time .
Love to you all & and thanks for reading.xx

[erin]

Hi everyone , yes it's hard I sit here shaking with tears rolling down my face ,for the 3rd day running
Being acussed of rape is like having your soul taken . For me I find it worse cus it's a family member .the mother in law " yes you heard me right" noing it's not me is even worse , and the rest of the family thinks it me. The hardest bit is , i think I no who it was , and brakes my heart.

How this affects the hole family brings me to my knees , DNA can take forever but it will clear me for I am not guilty .

My life is like two hands held out apart at this moment , I just hope they come to gether like I'm praying
And I am . For my wife who I love so deeply, I think even when I'm cleared of all this s**t I won't live without her ,
I pray she will have me back, I end this now with more tears I'm swelling up & falling down at the same time .
Love to you all & and thanks for reading.xx

Hi terry,

Welcome i have been on trial for 3 years i am meant to go to trial on july 8. I know everything you are feeling right now you are Very traumatised for the first 6 months i went insane but a very good doctor put me on medication and it helped my mind relax as i felt like my head was going to explode . Unfortunately in our corrupt society if you are just a suspect of a sexual assault crime a man is unjustly stripped of most of his human rights. I would say I have been treated as an enemy of the state and an animal even with clear evidence i did not do what i was accused off. Look besides losing a child or getting cancer and dying this is the worst thing that can happen to a man. keep on coming to this forum there are a few smart and kind people on here who will help you. See a doctor because you are clearly suffering and now should be about you and about helping yourself begin the process of clearing your name. There is no point going crazy im stupid i should have gone straight to my doctor and gotten help sooner instead i have honestly aged 10 years in 3 years . I understand how bad your feeling if you have not spoken to a lawyer yet you should do so before talking more with the police.

[Dave]

stay strong chum it will end, go to the doc and see what they can do to help in the short term.

concentrate on proving your innocence, there will be others along soon with useful info.

DONT EVEN CONSIDER FOR ONE MILLISECOND DOING ANYTHING DAFT, this will end trust me.

[browndown777]

Hi Terry

I think what erin has said is 100% spot on, the first few weeks are the worst and if you can get something from your GP to help you along then go for it. I helped take the edge off things for me, all the emotions and the anger were still there but just not as bad and it made life bearable again.

Another really good bit of advice given to me by the kind people on here is to go back to work or do something you enjoy to take your mind off things........

Stay strong you will get through this

[tiftaf]

Hi Terry

I think what erin has said is 100% spot on, the first few weeks are the worst and if you can get something from your GP to help you along then go for it. I helped take the edge off things for me, all the emotions and the anger were still there but just not as bad and it made life bearable again.

Another really good bit of advice given to me by the kind people on here is to go back to work or do something you enjoy to take your mind off things........

Stay strong you will get through this

I was never a lover of Anti D's and I have always managed to avoid taking them, however, I just had to. I started taking them two months after the FA, without them I would have gone crazy. So I agree, go to your GP and get something. They will not take away the pain but slow you down enough so you are at least not a mental wreck. x

Chin up and heartfelt ((hugs))

[Terry]

I was never a lover of Anti D's and I have always managed to avoid taking them, however, I just had to. I started taking them two months after the FA, without them I would have gone crazy. So I agree, go to your GP and get something. They will not take away the pain but slow you down enough so you are at least not a mental wreck. x

Chin up and heartfelt ((hugs))

Hi people thanks for the advise, got doctors app next week if the police let me go,some close frends suggested going away with them ,somewhere hot Malta,etc for a couple of weeks , don't think the police
Can stop that it's not on my bail conditions we,ll see .

Happy days and another bottle of wine, god bless you all xxxxxx

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Terry, sorry you find yourself in this awful situation. A holiday in Malta sounds like a good idea - keeping your mind off this and finding a way to relax throughout this ordeal is really important. If it's not in your bail conditions, it shouldn't be a problem but you might consider checking with plod.

All the best;
WGO

[Terry]

Hi Terry, sorry you find yourself in this awful situation. A holiday in Malta sounds like a good idea - keeping your mind off this and finding a way to relax throughout this ordeal is really important. If it's not in your bail conditions, it shouldn't be a problem but you might consider checking with plod.

All the best;
WGO

Thanks people , it's hard I no lets hope the sun my dry the teirs up , the other thing is going away without the wife, this brings me to tears again .
My life has truly been torn apart , the shacking in side ,the unsertenty noing your not guilty but bin stitched up in life over so many other things, lets hope I pull throw,
I think if I no I was guilty I would of ended my life by now, the panic attacks the shaks the tears.


But I no I didn't do it ,this is whot keeping me going....god bless all x

[erin]

Why do you have to wait to see a general practitioner? who can help TAKE AWAY 90% of the pain you are feeling. pull yourself together don't think self harm will make your situation better trust me the doctors have good stuff that will help numb the unbearable pain And take it away so you can rest for a while watch some happy movies, listen to happy music, hang around happy people maybe try do a little work , spend time with a brother or sister or parent that cares about you, completely cut all ties with negative people or toxic friends, prey if you beleive in god, find peace in the fact that your not alone im suffering on here with you with hundreds of other people but i learnt when i think my life is ending I can lay down go to sleep and a new day is a new start.......................

What do people do after their lives are ruined by an earthquake? pick up the pieces. I think it would be fantastic for you to go away if your solicitor says you can the police are morons and will probably say no you can't like they said to me i couldn't and i was allowed to (but make sure you are in the frame of mind to travel since i can tell you are very fragile right now and need to be very careful now your on bail . go see a gp before you go to the shrink also take it easy with the booze it's a depressant i boozed heaps and it never helps the next day. Also try do a little exercise always makes anyone feel a little better.
lot's of love mate im sorry your suffering , Things will get better

[Terry]

Why do you have to wait to see a general practitioner? who can help TAKE AWAY 90% of the pain you are feeling. pull yourself together don't think self harm will make your situation better trust me the doctors have good stuff that will help numb the unbearable pain And take it away so you can rest for a while watch some happy movies, listen to happy music, hang around happy people maybe try do a little work , spend time with a brother or sister or parent that cares about you, completely cut all ties with negative people or toxic friends, prey if you beleive in god, find peace in the fact that your not alone im suffering on here with you with hundreds of other people but i learnt when i think my life is ending I can lay down go to sleep and a new day is a new start.......................

What do people do after their lives are ruined by an earthquake? pick up the pieces. I think it would be fantastic for you to go away if your solicitor says you can the police are morons and will probably say no you can't like they said to me i couldn't and i was allowed to (but make sure you are in the frame of mind to travel since i can tell you are very fragile right now and need to be very careful now your on bail . go see a gp before you go to the shrink also take it easy with the booze it's a depressant i boozed heaps and it never helps the next day. Also try do a little exercise always makes anyone feel a little better.
lot's of love mate im sorry your suffering , Things will get better

My daly diary, to myself. ...............


I'm sending this to myself to remember how I feel
I write this in tears ,for the tears keep coming running down my cheeks , like your life is ending , I'm not one for writing or showing my emotions but this is shorely one of the worst things whot can happen. I've lost my soul, my heart bin ripped out ,I carnt imagen whot my wife is going throw.

The consent shaking and panic attackes wake you throw out the night, my life is ending..

To my lovely wife ,oh my wife , my backbone my soul whot she must be going throw makes my tears flow more.
I say this to you I love you, you are my life I will always love you whot ever the outcome of whot happens to me ,I pray we can get through this together . I feel I need to hold you forever & never let you go . I could never harm your family or frends . It's part of you.
And not in me.
I never touched your mother and never would, she is like a mother to me & love her deeply.

Whot keeps me going is noing im not guilty and DNA will prove that . The heat breaking thing is having a good idea who done it . That is the next stage in our life . And We need each other to pull through that.
We are strong , we are one & this is how we work best. This is just part of our life .apart
And it wont work ,we need tobe together ,this makes us strong.
Let take one day at a time . Xxxxxxxx love you forever, the changes you will notice,
Trust me ...........dale

[myhome]

Hi welcome and so sorry you have had to find us - what a dreadful situation you are in.
Erin's last post is spot on - he's been to hell and is on his way back - and is speaking from his heart.....
Your last post is very moving - make sure you read it every day - especially when you're feeling really down........
you will get a lot of help and support on here - we're all at different stages of the sh*te process - emotions are raw and hard to control - up and down and all over the place - but this is "normal" in a very abnormal and abhorrent situation..

Keep strong - keep posting and we'll help all we can.....

[erin]

Hi welcome and so sorry you have had to find us - what a dreadful situation you are in.
Erin's last post is spot on - he's been to hell and is on his way back - and is speaking from his heart.....
Your last post is very moving - make sure you read it every day - especially when you're feeling really down........
you will get a lot of help and support on here - we're all at different stages of the sh*te process - emotions are raw and hard to control - up and down and all over the place - but this is "normal" in a very abnormal and abhorrent situation..

Keep strong - keep posting and we'll help all we can.....

MH I think your an angel from heaven! your such a sweet person, and always give great advice!

[myhome]

MH I think your an angel from heaven! your such a sweet person, and always give great advice!

Awww - thanks it's just so lovely reading when people are getting their strength back.....

terry - I can really feel exactly how you feel - been there done that got the scars etc - but unbelievable though it seems now, the pain shock and fear do wear off but it's a horrid long traumatic and bumpy road.....Take little steps to pulling yourself back into a fighting spirit - go out, walk, run, swim scream shout dance do the garden and try to use up some of the anger and everything you feel. Do one positive thing every day for a week - then 2 positive things a day and so on til you realise that you are feeling so much better....

be strong - we'll help - but we need you to help you too.........

MH

[tiftaf]

I agree with MH just one positive thing a day.

Keep talking, keep sharing if it isn't too painful and always know that there are people here who know EXACTLY how you are feeling. ((hugs))

[is there justice?]

Stay strong, you know the truth and if there is DNA evidence that will free you from these awful allegations.
Take all the help you can, medication, holiday, advice.