New to this ...Help...advise...what to do? Scotland

[lawlessone2009]

LL1 - a bit gutted today...I contacted lawyer for advise re ex (he had said to contact any time if we had any form of harrassment - he does seem like a good guy) anyway while I was talking to him, I asked about the timebarr, and apparently charges that will be heard on solemn procedure, have no timebarr. There is a law somewhere where the accuser must have his case heard within a reasonable time, but he said that it would only be considered after a long period of time. (years)

Sol had hoped she would drop charges, but I know she wont (narcissistic personality). He is going to try and find out if any progress but he advised that it very unlikely.

I would seek clarification on this.

There is no 'time bar' on an allegation hence the famous people being charged for things that happened decades ago BUT the clock starts ticking after a 'charge'. If the Police lay a charge then the paperwork has to be in court within a set time frame (circa 6 months) and the initial court appearance to begin the case within 11-12 months... I would double check this. The allegation against me timed out after 13 months although, technically, it was timed out after 12 but the solicitor had to pursue a written acknowledgement.

The 'law' is part of the Human Rights Act as well as case law and probably other pieces of law. It's set at 12 months unless there are reasons for it taking longer and if reasons are given they need to be bloody good ones.....

[cantgiveup]

LL1, thanks for that, that is reassuring, I did try and research online, but came up with the charge could be left indefinitely if the case would be heard in a high court...although to be fair I am struggling to understand all the jargon!! Am I understanding you correctly that if we here nothing else within 6 months of the original charge, because he has never been in court, it cannot be proceeded with and if within the 6 months he is indicted the trial has to begin within a year? I have wondered about the human rights act...as this seems so wrong. Wrong for everyone. It just seems ridiculous, there is no evidence to gather, I understand they may be waiting for 'new allegations' which will not happen, but what is happening is, he is being victimised for something he didn't do and I am being harassed for standing by him!

I really hope you are right as that would be so much easier to deal with knowing there had to be a decision made within six months. It is the unknown that is so hard to handle.

My partner is coping better this week, which in turn is helping me. It is so hard to see what is a very strong and honorable man crumble before me. I have given in on trying to work fulltime...children, fulltime job and having lost childcare through has made it all too much, my boss has reduced my hours. There have been so supportive, I am very lucky.

Izzy, what happened to your son's case, I hope it all worked out for him. xx

[lawlessone2009]

LL1, thanks for that, that is reassuring, I did try and research online, but came up with the charge could be left indefinitely if the case would be heard in a high court...although to be fair I am struggling to understand all the jargon!! Am I understanding you correctly that if we here nothing else within 6 months of the original charge, because he has never been in court, it cannot be proceeded with and if within the 6 months he is indicted the trial has to begin within a year? I have wondered about the human rights act...as this seems so wrong. Wrong for everyone. It just seems ridiculous, there is no evidence to gather, I understand they may be waiting for 'new allegations' which will not happen, but what is happening is, he is being victimised for something he didn't do and I am being harassed for standing by him!

I really hope you are right as that would be so much easier to deal with knowing there had to be a decision made within six months. It is the unknown that is so hard to handle.

My partner is coping better this week, which in turn is helping me. It is so hard to see what is a very strong and honorable man crumble before me. I have given in on trying to work fulltime...children, fulltime job and having lost childcare through has made it all too much, my boss has reduced my hours. There have been so supportive, I am very lucky.

Izzy, what happened to your son's case, I hope it all worked out for him. xx

Hey,

Getting myself in a muddle now.............

Once the charge is made the paperwork is dropped into the court system within 6 months.......
After about 11 months an indictment should be spewed out that details the charges/sub-charges/alternative charges.
Within the 12 months an appearance should be made in court to begin the actual trial.

There are days give or take here or there but that is my understanding, double check with your legal dude. I would basically count 12 months from the initial charge but then wait an extra month....... Not sure why and it's bloody hellish being in the uncertainty of it all but it's a necessary evil. If the Police hadn't charged then you could wait forever as far as I am aware although another set of rules come into play...

[cantgiveup]

Hi LL1,

I think I have it now!!! It would be a lovely thought to think that we at least would have some sort of decision within 6 months...

Thanks for your help, I am rubbish at figuring these things out and flit between reading them to mean what I want to hear and reading them to be the worst possible situation depending on my state of mind at the time!

Your case timed out then? Is that common? What stage was that at, were you in the same position as us? I am pleased it did for you, what a long year for you.

Is it wrong for a part of me (a very small part!) to want a trial so that my partner could have the opportunity to have his say..or is that naive of me?!

It been a long day....I just re read your post and you said best to allow a approx 12 months...I cant even comprehend simple info at the moment, it either the stress or the bang on the head I gave myself this afternoon, a nice bump on the back of the head is brewing!!!

[myhome]

Is it wrong for a part of me (a very small part!) to want a trial so that my partner could have the opportunity to have his say..or is that naive of me?!

Hi CGU - not naïve at all - I'm torn between wanting that and wanting it all over right now - either way there's not a choice sadly
Keep strong ....MH

[lawlessone2009]

Hi LL1,

I think I have it now!!! It would be a lovely thought to think that we at least would have some sort of decision within 6 months...

Thanks for your help, I am rubbish at figuring these things out and flit between reading them to mean what I want to hear and reading them to be the worst possible situation depending on my state of mind at the time!

Your case timed out then? Is that common? What stage was that at, were you in the same position as us? I am pleased it did for you, what a long year for you.

Is it wrong for a part of me (a very small part!) to want a trial so that my partner could have the opportunity to have his say..or is that naive of me?!

It been a long day....I just re read your post and you said best to allow a approx 12 months...I cant even comprehend simple info at the moment, it either the stress or the bang on the head I gave myself this afternoon, a nice bump on the back of the head is brewing!!!

As good a starting point as any:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ppy-to-discuss


Slipped to Page 7 on the forum now... It's long and reasonably detailed. Roughly the same as what's happen with yourselves except my case made it into court, for an initial appearance anyways...

A lot of trials and tribulations along the way with the eventuality that it timed out. Not sure what I think of it timing out. Started trying to move on from it all and also life's been so busy lately that I've not been on here much.

One thing you cannot possibly expect to ever get from the state is 'quickness'. They'll demand it from you when they want something but you cannot possibly demand it from them... There's one of you and millions of them but they want you to think that there's millions of you and one of them... Get's them away with 'every case is different' and similar nonsense when they generalise everything yet take forever to actually act.

[cantgiveup]

LL1, just reading 'your story' ,not got through it all yet but I will, I don't want to say it is interesting because it is your life not just some story and it is awful that you had to go through it, but from what I have read you have provided me and all readers with lots of info and things to think about, which leads me to realise we are doing nothing...you seem to have been fighting it from the word go, should we be doing something? I have and am keeping records of communication in any form with basically anyone who knows me, my partner and the accuser, but I don't really know what else to do.

The sol has said that there is nothing we can do until something happens...how long will it take for DNA to come back? Could that be the hold up? Would the PF not have given a date to appear if that was what they were waiting for?

[lawlessone2009]

LL1, just reading 'your story' ,not got through it all yet but I will, I don't want to say it is interesting because it is your life not just some story and it is awful that you had to go through it, but from what I have read you have provided me and all readers with lots of info and things to think about, which leads me to realise we are doing nothing...you seem to have been fighting it from the word go, should we be doing something? I have and am keeping records of communication in any form with basically anyone who knows me, my partner and the accuser, but I don't really know what else to do.

The sol has said that there is nothing we can do until something happens...how long will it take for DNA to come back? Could that be the hold up? Would the PF not have given a date to appear if that was what they were waiting for?

Hey,

RELAX!

Only thing I really did was sign up on here. There's not much else you can do.


It may seem as if I have done plenty but I did very little but ask a lot of questions. As the next 'stage' of the charging/court process presented itself I detailed my interpretation of it and sought help from others on here. I also used Google and then of course checked back on here because Google tells lies...

I can look back over the story now, as I actually did do last night, and see it almost from a third party. It was all blooming raw and savage at the time but now I just find it incredibly weird and almost laughable that it appeared to be taken seriously. Obviously now I am living with the fall out in my mind. I find it difficult to talk with people, intimacy is quite hard and I'd probably have a panic attack if I was left alone with a female I did not know.

These things could ultimately be good but I feel that they are unnecessary defence mechanism. I should view females as 'equals' and treat them the same I would anyone else yet I question them and look for alternative motives. I've had a few females 'flirt' with me but I didn't see it as flirting if that makes any sense?

You guys are back at the start of things although you seem to be progressing along reasonably well. Keep on going, the end really isn't that far away. Keep logs of communications, fill out a diary, sit and cuddle with your partner, get out there and do whatever you fancy doing. Carry on with life just now in some shape or form as your life WILL come back when it's all over. Changes will happen but some of them may actually turn out to be better! Yeah, life improving post false allegation eh? If my mind wasn't so buggered I would be really enjoying life just now. It's sorting itself out though and happiness is returning, I'm also achieving things these days.

Button down those hatches, brave the storm and when it's all over build it all back up with an improved design and more soul and sweat.

[cantgiveup]

LL1 - RELAX? Really?!!

There have not been many times over the last two months I have felt anywhere near relaxed but they are becoming more frequent - phew! We are going to climb a hill tomorrow (weather permitting) although I am not particularly ourdoorsy I am really looking forward to the peace and freedom.

No wonder you have trust issues around women, I am amazed my partner can trust me, one word from me and I could make things so much worse for him - I am not holding this over him, I am just very aware of it and am amazed he can trust anyone at the moment, I certainly struggle to.

I truly believe you will get over this, you appear very strong and focused, and like you say lots of things are going good for you at the moment, I hope they continue to do so and I hope you meet a woman who deserves you and makes you happy, when you meet her the trust thing will come too, because she will be the one, until then I imagine the fun has been taken out of looking

Big thanks for taking the time to reassure me and explain things to me in a simplified way I can understand, this has been a massive learning curve, I was brought up to look up to authority figures (like police) and trust whatever they said, I had no idea what a game this was and how things can be turned against you even when you speak the truth! When my partner was detained and I was taken to the station to give a witness statement, although I didn't doubt my partner there was a big part of me that believe there must be very strong evidence for us to be in the situation, I had absolutely no idea that all it took was one persons say so!!! Now I feel very foolish to have got to 37 without realising it! CGU x

[lawlessone2009]

LL1 - RELAX? Really?!!

There have not been many times over the last two months I have felt anywhere near relaxed but they are becoming more frequent - phew! We are going to climb a hill tomorrow (weather permitting) although I am not particularly ourdoorsy I am really looking forward to the peace and freedom.

No wonder you have trust issues around women, I am amazed my partner can trust me, one word from me and I could make things so much worse for him - I am not holding this over him, I am just very aware of it and am amazed he can trust anyone at the moment, I certainly struggle to.

I truly believe you will get over this, you appear very strong and focused, and like you say lots of things are going good for you at the moment, I hope they continue to do so and I hope you meet a woman who deserves you and makes you happy, when you meet her the trust thing will come too, because she will be the one, until then I imagine the fun has been taken out of looking

Big thanks for taking the time to reassure me and explain things to me in a simplified way I can understand, this has been a massive learning curve, I was brought up to look up to authority figures (like police) and trust whatever they said, I had no idea what a game this was and how things can be turned against you even when you speak the truth! When my partner was detained and I was taken to the station to give a witness statement, although I didn't doubt my partner there was a big part of me that believe there must be very strong evidence for us to be in the situation, I had absolutely no idea that all it took was one persons say so!!! Now I feel very foolish to have got to 37 without realising it! CGU x

I've got a long term partner... Been with her for over 10 years (on and off, subject to fall outs). I know the dangers that she presents should we fall out completely.

As for the Police... Chancers is a good descriptive word for em. If something is too hard for them to get the evidence for then they generally don't bother. They expect their 'image' to make people fall over backwards and give them info.

Last weekend is a great example. I stopped a guy from punching a female or two, not entirely certain how many females he was willing to punch but he was standing up for his daughter so probably everyone there... It was quite a long drawn out end of a 'drinking session in a pub' type roll around (I wasn't pissed! Few pints). I wasn't involved (directly) but didn't want people getting unnecessarily hurt or indeed arrested. Cops turned up and split everyone into groups and started with the questions. I stated that I had been assaulted in so far as someone had pung my shirt strap at me and it'd hit me in the eye. I also state that I had been the victim or an act of vandalism as the strap had subsequently disappeared inside my shirt... Not termed entirely correctly but I WAS taking the piss severely but not in an argumentative or aggressive manner or one that prevented them from doing their apparent job. I really did have little info to give them. With a little laugh and joke the situation all calmed down, nobody got 'lifted', nobody was particularly badly hurt and the cops went on their way.

I never even gave my name. My mis-directions and very reasonable and quiet attitude distracted them and since I really wasn't involved they had no reason to ask for it (If they had I would have given it)... They were also denied the information that they needed in order to start making arrests which really weren't necessary anyway. The cops did their job (prevented further hurt/broke up the nonsense) and everyone went home. The Police were incredibly patient and thorough and even followed up the walking journeys home with regular drives past all parties just to ensure that nobody had second thoughts of carrying on the nonsense.

On a sideline. I'd not like to be the punching mans partner..............



A walk up a hill sounds cool. Good weather apparently tomorrow/today. Make sure and take some chocolate bars, warm clothes, plenty fluids, a torch and a fully charged phone. Have fun too!!!!!!

[lawlessone2009]

Hold the horses..........

I'd, erm, check out the last page of my thread that's now on the first page of the forum........

Appears my roller coaster is about to take a dip....

[cantgiveup]

Just finally completed reading your entire thread and about what has just happened...it is completely beyond me how this is allowed to happen...surely someone somewhere with some common sense is in the system that can stop this. Like you say it may, hopefully be a final closure on the case. Hope you ok, I have little or no knowledge of the system so can't help you there, but am here if you ever want to sound off.

Take care, CGU

[lawlessone2009]

Just finally completed reading your entire thread and about what has just happened...it is completely beyond me how this is allowed to happen...surely someone somewhere with some common sense is in the system that can stop this. Like you say it may, hopefully be a final closure on the case. Hope you ok, I have little or no knowledge of the system so can't help you there, but am here if you ever want to sound off.

Take care, CGU

Hey,

Everything is allowed to happen as it's a giant 'gravy train'. Justice is so far removed from the 'public interest' that it is odd they still pretend to be acting on behalf of the public. You only need to look at the salaries and perks that the prosecutors receive to understand that justice has little to do with any of it. It's a rich pickings playground for them where they can pick and choose what they believe the publics interest to be and then act accordingly.

It's also a recession just now, apparently, and private legal jobs are thin on the ground. What better place to build your CV up and also land yourself a job than acting as a public defender within the criminal court system. It'd also be a given that there would be an increase in actual 'crime' as people get more and more desperate to pay bills and put food on the table.

Maybe there is a slack month and they're needing to fill some space. What better way to do it than drag up some past stuff?

If I was you I wouldn't get too pissed off just now. Try to take a view that what is happening to you and your partner has little to do with guilty/not guilty and justice but more to do with a group of individuals collecting money from the public purse whilst pretending to be remotely interested in the public rather than their own self righteous careers.

Money money money.

Anyways... I wouldn't listen too greatly to me at the moment. I'll probably continue ranting for the next few days, gather info, shout from the rooftops about injustices and then grace the courtroom, at my own expense, to see what the story is now.

I hope you guys made it up that hill!!! Good weather yesterday here so I'd imagine you had good weather also.

[cantgiveup]

Hey, try not to be too downheartened, there MUST be some good ones in the system somewhere, although I get what you are saying, it doesn't seem that way. Feel free to rant, share your info, keep us all updated and above all look after yourself. Friday will be tough, I presume you haven't been able to contact your sol yet? Like I say, anything you need to rant about feel free, and I will keep you in my thoughts this week.

The hill was good, we enjoyed each others company and relaxed for a while...today not so good, sunburn, aching legs and I was dogsitting for my bro last night and woke up to a dog with an upset tummy and a beige carpet that may never be the same again

CGU

[lawlessone2009]

Hey, try not to be too downheartened, there MUST be some good ones in the system somewhere, although I get what you are saying, it doesn't seem that way. Feel free to rant, share your info, keep us all updated and above all look after yourself. Friday will be tough, I presume you haven't been able to contact your sol yet? Like I say, anything you need to rant about feel free, and I will keep you in my thoughts this week.

The hill was good, we enjoyed each others company and relaxed for a while...today not so good, sunburn, aching legs and I was dogsitting for my bro last night and woke up to a dog with an upset tummy and a beige carpet that may never be the same again

CGU

Ah... Remember this is your thread... I have a strange habit of trying to take over threads...

There are no doubt good people within the 'system' but I'd imagine they are massively outnumbered by career motivated individuals who want as much money as possible for doing as little as possible whilst screwing everyone in their path.

Hope the hill wasn't really a mountain... Sunburn, aching legs... Awesome, makes it all worth while I'm sure you'll agree...

As for dogs and carpets... Jeez... Hope it all cleans out!