So damned unfair

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Hi all

I just feel like lashing out at the whole world, the entire universe. Nobody who has gone through this can EVER understand what limbo situation you are in, how your life and future is at the hands of others. Especially if you have an FA who is not actually an FA but an influenced FA, influenced by others, put under pressure, threatened that if don't say this or that, then something will happen to him or her or to your mother. And then to put the icing on the cake, you have another person who is a rights fighter all the way (nothing to do with "our" rights fighter here!!!) who believes everything is amiss, free the 'abused' from his pains, his suffering, and f off (pardon my French) to all those who do not believe the "Holy Word". Well, I'm through with that, I'm sick and tired of it. Sick and tired of all this **** that is being alleged ruling my life and my husband's. You want a fight? You've got it, however righteous you feel, however right you feel. If it's the last thing I ever do in my life, I am gonna prove that my husband did not do this. Full stop!

Thanks for allowing me to rant!

[lonley place]

No apology is needed ....you need a rant you go right ahead and rant !
We all need to scream and shout from the roof tops sometimes and understand how you are feeling. LP

[sparks]

Now turn all that hurt and anger into positive thoughts and actions and you will have a case winning team.

[is there justice?]

Good for you and well said - it's an eye opener isn't it? As said, that anger and passion will drive you through this.

[whatsgoingon?]

Now turn all that hurt and anger into positive thoughts and actions and you will have a case winning team.

Well said! Well done for ranting! I wouldn't want to be in their shoes right now!

[erin]

Your not alone , Your are not alone my dear and time is the big enemy I ask GOD why does he test some of us so much ! I am feeling what your feeling the LIMBO the uncurable hurt feeling the hatred for the people who know it's BS but they don't care we as a human race like to destroy ,not build or help. Waiting is the enemy day in day out i have aged the past few years so much try end your matter the sooner the better because it take's such a toll one day good one day bad one day fighting for sanity. More should be done to protect the rights of the clearly innocent the whole system is BS ,But i can't change the wave so just try stay afloat and hopefully won't drown trying to survive but sometimes and after all this pain and gut wrenching heart ache i no longer care...........Your amongst friends here .

[is there justice?]

"I am feeling what your feeling the LIMBO the uncurable hurt feeling the hatred for the people who know it's BS but they don't care we as a human race like to destroy ,not build or help. Waiting is the enemy day in day out i have aged the past few years so much try end your matter the sooner the better because it take's such a toll one day good one day bad one day fighting for sanity. More should be done to protect the rights of the clearly innocent the whole system is BS ,But i can't change the wave so just try stay afloat and hopefully won't drown trying to survive but sometimes and after all this pain and gut wrenching heart ache i no longer care..........."

Massive hugs

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Your not alone , Your are not alone my dear and time is the big enemy I ask GOD why does he test some of us so much ! I am feeling what your feeling the LIMBO the uncurable hurt feeling the hatred for the people who know it's BS but they don't care we as a human race like to destroy ,not build or help. Waiting is the enemy day in day out i have aged the past few years so much try end your matter the sooner the better because it take's such a toll one day good one day bad one day fighting for sanity. More should be done to protect the rights of the clearly innocent the whole system is BS ,But i can't change the wave so just try stay afloat and hopefully won't drown trying to survive but sometimes and after all this pain and gut wrenching heart ache i no longer care...........Your amongst friends here .

The difference between us, Erin, is that I cannot, will not and refuse to hate anybody, whatever they have done. Many may disagree with this, my opinion, my life attitude, but that's what it is, mine.

You take care of yourself even though it has been a long and difficult time for you!

[erin]

The difference between us, Erin, is that I cannot, will not and refuse to hate anybody, whatever they have done. Many may disagree with this, my opinion, my life attitude, but that's what it is, mine.

You take care of yourself even though it has been a long and difficult time for you!

[myhome]

It's good to rant - gets rid of all that pent up anger and tension - and very definitely no need to apologise. If you can't rant to us who can you rant to?
You're saying what lots are feeling and others will say what you feel - that's one of the things that's so positive about being here.......
Big hugs......

[barney]

Focus on all the good things you will do with your new life when this is all over, forget revenge and hatred as the worst thing you can do to these type of people is be happier than you ever were. These FA already have something missing in their lives or they would not need to be seen as victims or perhaps they are just too lazy to work and want the money,either way they will never find happiness.

You can.

[is there justice?]

This is the thing though. Whatever the outcome, life will never be the same. My son, 18, says dating isn't worth the risk and he'll stick to his bike. I doubt we will ever bother making new friends. Hub went to work this morning then panicked because it was just him and a female member of staff as I am day off and no-one else had arrived. We will spend a lifetime 'covering our backs' and being insular. Whatever the outcome, our little business will be ruined. We no longer want to live in the same area. There will be those who will believe Hub but there will be those who will gossip - a time to find out who your friends are.
I wish I could be calm about it but in truth I hate this woman and her conniving boyfriend with a vengeance.

[Izzy]

This is the thing though. Whatever the outcome, life will never be the same. My son, 18, says dating isn't worth the risk and he'll stick to his bike. I doubt we will ever bother making new friends. Hub went to work this morning then panicked because it was just him and a female member of staff as I am day off and no-one else had arrived. We will spend a lifetime 'covering our backs' and being insular. Whatever the outcome, our little business will be ruined. We no longer want to live in the same area. There will be those who will believe Hub but there will be those who will gossip - a time to find out who your friends are.
I wish I could be calm about it but in truth I hate this woman and her conniving boyfriend with a vengeance.

You do learn who your friend are as for the gossip, I came across a quote that says it all -

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Try not to worry about the small minds, they will have found something new to gossip about by next week.
The important thing is not to give one person the power to ruin everything, I know that sounds easier said than done but that's where standing firm
and fighting back comes in.

[is there justice?]

You do learn who your friend are as for the gossip, I came across a quote that says it all -

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Try not to worry about the small minds, they will have found something new to gossip about by next week.
The important thing is not to give one person the power to ruin everything, I know that sounds easier said than done but that's where standing firm
and fighting back comes in.

I love the quote - how true and I'm just an average mind then

We are selling the business anyway. If you knew how much we have done for the FA but even that can be misinterpreted now it seems. Another saying comes to mind 'no good deed goes unpunished'.
I'm sorry if I sound bitter. I've spent 2 weeks being strong and positive for everyone when all I want to do is scream. I've taken a day off alone so I can just let it out, have a good cry without feeling I shouldn't, and generally vent. I know we're lucky in that we are all supporting each other but the whole thing just sucks.

[myhome]

This is the thing though. Whatever the outcome, life will never be the same.

This is undoubtedly true - though it need not necessarily be a bad thing... you will probably find that you are stronger as individuals and as a family. You may also discover that things that used to "wind you up" are actually quite trivial and no longer bother you....

My son, 18, says dating isn't worth the risk and he'll stick to his bike.

This is a very natural feeling for now - but hopefully - as he is young and this dreadful time disappears into the past he will learn to trust again - not all people are FA, liars and dishonest. I know of someone who was FA and found NG and now has a new girlfriend in his life - she helped and supported him through his court case.

I doubt we will ever bother making new friends. We will spend a lifetime 'covering our backs' and being insular. Whatever the outcome, our little business will be ruined. We no longer want to live in the same area.

I can completely understand why you are thinking this now - but as I commented about your son - when this is all over and you can rebuild your lives, you will find some lovely genuine people wherever you move to (or if you stay) and if new people or existing friends judge you all, then do you really want to be friends with them or know them. You will find out who your true friends are now.

I wish I could be calm about it but in truth I hate this woman and her conniving boyfriend with a vengeance.

Don't try to be calm if you aren't. Let all your emotions out as if they are supressed they will build and fester till you can't contain them any more which is quite a volatile and possibly harmful position for you to be in.... Hate her if you want to - I hate the person who has FA me and I don't feel guilty about that at all........

Try to take a day at a time and also try not to predict into the future how you think you may react - it may not turn out like that at all - though I really understand why you are thinking in this way - this woman has tried to destroy your own rules for living and faith in human nature. But - she is in a minority of the human race fortunately - so try not to allow her to ruin your faith and lies altogether....

Hugs MH