Partner falsely accused

[How did this happen]

Hi
I can't really help with the SS but I can sympathise on how hard it is to be the partner of someone who is falsely accused. You will get tonnes of help and support on here the members are truly lovely people.

Your emotions will be all over the place and you won't believe anyone here when they tell you that you learn to cope but you do. I couldn't eat or sleep for four days after my partners arrest but over time it did get easier to deal with

Keep posting and the kindness and understanding of the people here will work a little magic and help you cope

[myhome]

HI cts - what hdth has said is so true. The first few weeks are the worst - shock, horror, disbelief, terror, feelings of injustice plus all the physical feelings and symptoms of extreme anxiety etc. It's just awful and no-one can take that away and we all wish there was someone who could..........

Try not to shut yourself away, as being occupied in any activity which is physical or mental or preferably both at one, will give you some respite from the invasive negative unwelcome thoughts.

Hopefully your GP will be able to sort your meds out - have you thought about asking for counselling? How is your other half coping???

Post on here a lot and join in other people's threads as well and you will soon begin to feel like you've got a whole new world of friends and supporters.

Hugs MH

[Boys don't cry]

Hello and welcome Cannotthinkstraight.

Please keep faith because you know your partner is innocent.

He must fight against this false accusation and the therapy received by his daughter doesn't necessary mean that it is from "abuse".
A child can be easily influenced by a revengeful mother.

Don't worry about him being charged as well, it is an opportunity to show his innocence.

Can he remember the dates he was with her and her mother's relationships.
He must do some homework and concentrate on the fact.

Dates, time, places, witnesses,...Details are evidence and therefore extremely important.

[cannotthinkstraight]

Thank You MH & BDC, Just to write to someone helps so much. My partners not coping well at all. He suffers with PTSD, depression, Co-Morbid anxiety and doesn,t sleep or eat well on a healthy day but this has knocked him sick. As he cannot return home he has gone to stay with friends who are looking after him. On the day of arrest once released on bail at one point he was vunerable and i thought he would have ended his life. Thankfully he did not.

He has given police all details of where he was at time frame ex is stating he lived with her. He was involved with the family for a few years, when the eldest son was young but he did not have anything to do with the daughters upbringing as there was a stepdad around who was jealous if my partner went to visit, so he did not bother anymore. Doesn't even know how old or when her birthday is!!!!

Allegations are going back 20yrs and then he's continued to abuse for 4 yrs. I met him 3 yrs after that and we had our first child 2 yrs later. They didn't even know he had one child let alone two when contact was made. My eldest was 5yrs at the time. The daughter at the time was racist towards me. The family is messed up and with his illness he couldn't cope with their s***, so we moved away and never made contact. This is for revenge and compensation. There is no other evidence but her word against his. If only the police investigating can see who the real victim is and how the system is so easily abused.

Thanks guys for reading, I don't feel alone anymore xx

[myhome]

really glad you're not feeling so alone - that's what so great about this forum........keep posting and we'll support you all we can
Hugs MH

[cannotthinkstraight]

rock bottom

aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggg so angry, upset, isolated and want to end it all. My life has been taken away from me and I'm not coping. they have won. They can take it. Who gives a f***? especially not the authorities that puts us through this unbearable process of so called victim comes first. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggg ggggg

[cannotthinkstraight]

I'm sick to death of wine, diazepam, citalopram, mitrazepam. meds are always there but i want my life back with my innocent love.

[myhome]

aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggg so angry, upset, isolated and want to end it all. My life has been taken away from me and I'm not coping. they have won. They can take it. Who gives a f***? especially not the authorities that puts us through this unbearable process of so called victim comes first. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggg ggggg

Hi cts - ending it all though understandable - IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!! Most of us have felt like that - but as you say "they have won" and is that what you really want? The first thing that people will say is, "Oh so he was guilty then and couldn't face it...." Is that what you want your family to hear and people to be saying about you??????
This is a temporary very very horrid situation is so many ways and the sense of injustice is unbelievable.......but it is temporary and it will end....it could be in a few days time or several months - but which ever - take one day or one minute at a time - take the medication - it's as helpful to keeping you going as an antibiotic is to getting rid of an infection.....
As for "who gives a f***?" we on here ALL DO!!!!!!

keep strong keep posting - hugs MH

[cannotthinkstraight]

Hello MH, You have shown so much support on this forum and you are a remarkable person for that alone. You are right in what you say but this situation plays crazy games with your mind to think of such low and normally unthinkable thoughts.

They think they have won and to a certain point they have as we are separated as a family and suffering. This was there initial goal as no abuse has taken place. They tried it in 2008 when an anonymous email was sent to NSPCC. We were visited then by child protection unit officer and SS but nothing untoward was found. This email also stated they didn't want to press charges. We thought it was partners eldest son in prison getting extra special treatment in prison blaming dad for him being a low life creep. Now a year out of prison for doing a 6 yr stretch for a horrendous robbery involving threatening the poor victim with a syringe to the neck. (Dad, my partner actually phoned the police and told them his location as he was on the run from the police and he was remanded in custody)

This shock in our lives has taken the wind out of us and we are no longer in control of our future anymore.
I am rambling on and i feel i can go on forever but what i want to say is Thank You MH your support and it has helped.

Take Care xx

One way or another it will end. It's he waiting game and the fact my partner is not strong enough to take this. He fought for Queen and Country far from well. Which I am extremely proud of. To see a brave and proud man fall to as low as he has it's breaking my heart.

I am keeping my kids upbeat about the situation which consumes a lot of energy. They are unaffected at the moment but do miss dad which SS can see clearly how much. There outcome is we are all separated due to the allegations and are hoping the investigation will not take much longer. Who Knows????

Once again Thank you all for reading and supporting