False allogation of rape in a hotel.

[crazyshark]

Hello,

I have recently been falsely accused of rape. I am set to get married to my beautiful fiancée next August and I am worried sick about what is going to happen to me over the next few weeks, months or years. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I was out in a club and got talking to a girl; we had way too many drinks and ended up kissing. She had no friends in the club and she lived very far away or so she said. I stupidly and drunkenly offered her a stay in my hotel room as I was away on work business.

When we got back to the room I remember taking my wallet, watch and phone out and putting them by the television. I put some music on my Phone as Im a creature of habit. I took my jeans and shirt off, folded them and jumped into bed. I remember waking up after dozing and she was lying next to me after having a shower. (Which I thought was odd). I said I was tired and wanted to sleep, She asked why I didn’t like her and started kissing me and put my hand on her, after a little while of fumbling around I had a moment of clarity and disgust, I had been drunkenly seduced and I was cheating on my beautiful wife-to-be and I wanted out of the situation. I noticed that the room was quiet and I asked her where my phone was. She said that she hadn’t seen it. So I rang my personal phone from my work phone and it was in my leather weekend bag with my wallet and watch.

I naturally accused her of moving my stuff and trying to rob me. She broke down in tears and started talking about a lady, and that she (name) wouldn’t be happy. I asked who this woman was and she just kept sobbing and saying the same thing. I sat down next to her on the bed and she threw the Hotel bible at me, saying that she didn’t like my choice of testament. I explained that it was a hotel bible and didn’t belong to me. She was really freaking me out and I told her to take her stuff and get out.

She left her bra, pants, bag and shoes, which I duly threw into the corridor thinking she was entirely mental.
I went to bed and the next thing was a knock on the door by the police.

The events at the police station were horrific, cells with a bright light for 24 hours and disgusting food that I couldnt stomach, the turmoil I am going through is very difficult to deal with, the waves of anxiety make me feel sick to the core that anyone could do this. Ive only ever had other people’s best interests at heart. The world is full of horrible people, I make it my mission to show kindness when I can and this goes against everything I would ever do. Especially with my career and my two older sisters that brought me up to respect women.

She has given account of a disgusting course of events, missing out the shower and weird bible episode. I have agreed to consensual foreplay and said a down right "NO" to having sex. I am very worried as there are blanks in the evening, even though I know that we didn’t have sex. Could something of happened? Which I can’t remember. The possible implications of the evidence coming back positive is driving me to think that things happened which I know they didn’t. I don’t know what you call it, my memory is just filling in with things that I know are not factually possible, as you can imagine Im going mental.

Work has suspended me, due the nature of my job and in order to deal with the battle I have on my hands.
I have told my Fiancée what has happened without the gory details, I need to protect her as much as possible (would you agree?)
I can’t tell my family -
My mum is dealing with my dad having terminal cancer and just about holding it together.
My dad is dealing with his own problems as well as my mother.
One sister is due to have her first baby in 2-3 weeks and I am worried what the stress would do, if anything happened to the baby I would not be able to live with myself.
The other sister was raped when she was younger, she doesn’t know that I know and I could not put her through that, she is also getting married in 3 months and I don’t want this hanging over her.
We are a very close family and if I told one of them it would be tough for them as much as it’s emotionally destroying me.

I just hope that if it all blows out of the water they realise why I haven’t told them. I can’t stand lying to them; do you think this is the right thing to do? What have other people done in the past?

I have remembered later on, that this girl had a bottle of the hotel shower gel in her hand, when we were in bed. I haven’t put this in my statement; my solicitor has said to just make a note of it for now. Is that true or do I need to tell them? I also didn’t state that she kept repeating the same things over and over again, even when I tried to reason with her and asked her to leave.
The other obvious thing is that I am very sure we didn’t have sex, but what if her samples come back positive. Is there anyway back from it? Or shall I just change my statement to consensual sex? Sorry for the scatty nature of this post. As you can understand there are so many variables and I am scared the law will work in her favour because I have about 10 stone and self defence qualifications on her.

My phones were seized by the police; Im worried as I have customer information on there that I would never want to get out, it also has nothing to do with the pending investigation. Will they ask me about these messages?

Evidence that is being investigated:

Stain on the bed sheet - I think this is hers, I definitely didn’t ejaculate.
Wet boxer shorts found in the bathroom - No idea about these.
Phones
Vaginal samples
Bloods
An undernote written - stating "I can help you" - I don’t remember writing this, and I don’t remember her writing it either, the note with pen on couldn’t be found.
CCTV still of me and her entering the hotel foyer, not holding hands she is walking in on her own accord.
Photos of very minor red areas on her arms and legs, stating that I held her down.

I understand there is a lot of information here; I just wanted to be factual. I feel at the moment, I have been treated guilty until proven innocent and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[Saffron]

Yours is not an uncommon story, sadly. Plenty of men have found themselves in a very similar situation.

At least you accept that you behaved badly and you are not whining about it being unfair! However, I don't think you can claim to have been seduced. After all, it was your idea that she should spend the night in the hotel with you. She could quite easily claim that you seduced her.

Were you with any colleagues who can confirm that you and she were kissing in the club? Did you talk to anyone (receptionist etc) at the hotel when you and she arrived there? You have mentioned a CCTV still from the hotel, but is there any footage of you and she leaving the club together? Did you take a taxi to the hotel, or did you walk? If you walked there may well be CCTV footage of you together, which you ought to try to obtain. If you took a cab, try to remember the name of the firm and contact them to find out the name of the driver. They will have a log.

The fact that you threw her underwear and handbag into the corridor could be construed in two different ways:
1) you were so horrified at her insane behaviour that you wanted nothing more to do with her. You knew she might come back for her stuff, so you put it outside the door in order to avoid any repeat contact with her.
2) you had "got what you wanted" and had no further use for her.

Try to get in touch with a solicitor who is experienced at defending these types of cases. A standard criminal sol will not be good enough. Some duty Sols are excellent and others are totally inept. It is up to you to decide which one your duty sol is!

As for speaking to your family - well, I can understand your reasons for not doing so. However, you definitely need some support. Is there are friend you can confide in? You said that you have told your Fiancee but not given her all the details - have you told her the nature of the False Allegation?

Your phones being seized is entirely normal: don't expect to get them back from some time. Did you and the accuser have any sort of text conversation?

And yes, you have been and will continue to be treated as though you are a criminal. Unfortunately Plod are duty-bound to believe the accuser unequivocably in these cases.
I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. I am sure others will be along with more advice soon.
In the meantime, welcome.

[crazyshark]

Thanks Saffron

My manager was with me but he can’t remember speaking to her, we were stood by the bar, but I doubt anyone will be able to recall seeing us kiss in the club. We walked up a main street so there will be CCTV there and I would imagine at the club also. They are still collecting this.
I remember her walking without her shoes on and I told her to put them on.

Yes I thought it was weird when she left everything, I had a hunch when she walked out. She seemed up to something and just walking out I thought she might want her stuff. I thought she would have picked it up.

My duty sol. seems very personable and switched on; he has said that they can’t do anything until/if I'm charged. Could you suggest any criminal defence lawyers or firms?

I have a friend; it’s just how I go about it. Yes, Ive told my fiancée the allegation and that the girl was in my hotel room as she had no-where to stay. Which is true. I never expected to do anything with this girl and Ive learnt the hard way unfortunately.

There wasn’t any text conversation with her; I did text another girl that evening, earlier on. She was out for a B-day party and I invited her and her mates (boys as well) over if the club closed early. Will this go against me?

Thanks

[Saffron]

OK. Most people here would say that it is naive in the extreme, or in fact downright unbelievable that you might invite a female into your hotel room with absolutely no sexual motive. (unless of course you had known each other for a long time and were friends, in which case there might or might not be a sexual motive). Of course, if a woman goes to a hotel room with a man they do not know, it is similarly naive and does suggest a certain degree of sexual intent. However, in the eyes of the law (and however unfair it may seem) it is the man's responsibility to ensure consent has been given.
In this case, if you are certain that sex, consensual or otherwise, did not take place then the forensic results should clear you of Rape. However you should be aware that the CPS/Plod can quite easily change the charge from Rape to Attempted Rape.

As for suggesting criminal defence lawyers, have a look at the Sticky in the Helpful Information section. If there is nothing there that is relevant, post up your county (nothing identifying) and someone might be able to suggest a firm.

[Casehardened]

I have agreed to consensual foreplay and said a down right "NO" to having sex.

Or shall I just change my statement to consensual sex?

Hi,

I can't add much to Saffron's excellent advice but I would recommend against changing your statement at this stage. The police will simply think that you were fully aware of what happened but are prevaricating depending on what facts are revealed.

If the forensics reveal that something did occur and you are re-interviewed then you must just tell the truth: that you were so drunk that there are blanks in your memory however all activity was consensual. Note that they may tell you the results are 'inconclusive' but this is police-speak for 'nothing found'!

[crazyshark]

Thank you for your advice.

I told the police that I didn’t expect to have sex with her, of course two consenting adults of mature age going to a hotel, the likelihood is to have sex and there may have been confusing if I just called it a night. Therefore, Yes I wouldn’t agree more, I can be pretty naive "green" when it comes to this sort of thing. By the time we had got to the hotel it must have been 4:00am, I had been working 14hrs the day before and had a 9:00am start, so it really was the last thing on my mind.
I think the bottom line is, that we were both drunk and fancied each other. When we got back to the hotel it all became too real and I called a stop, it all went down hill after I accused her of trying to rob me. Would you agree? Or am I being too irrespective of the other facts?

Thanks Casehardened, surely blackouts could be seen as perverting the course of justice as there is no way of proving my lack of memory.

[Saffron]

Just re-read your initial post and picked out the fact that the FA was crying and talking about "a woman" who would not be happy with her.
Any idea who this "woman" might be? Her mother who would be furious that she hadn't come home? Her pimp who would be expecting her cut of cash? A Fagin-type figure, instructing her to rob people?
Did you tell the police about this?

[crazyshark]

Hi,

Yes ive told the police, after calling my phone and finding it in my bag I asked her if she was trying to rob me, this is when she broke down and mentioned this name over and over again. I was very suspicious about this and tried to offer conversation but she threw the Bible at me?
Very odd behaviour....

Taking into consideration the moving of my items, I couldnt help but think this named person was a Fagin-type figure (well put). Not nessicarily a pimp, but a carer. That was my impression or judge of character from her behaviour.

Im guessing the police will look into this, as it wasnt mentioned in her account?

[edinguy]

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

I was told the same by my solicitor that nothing can really be done until or if you are charged which hopefully does not happen. I take it you have made a note of everything that happened that night which you can remember as this is vital when still fresh in your head as I found as time went on I started to re think things and question myself but those notes helped me greatly!

I know how you are feeling, I had just over 2 years of that hell and its not easy but as the above members point out family is key, even if its just 2 or 3 of them because you cannot shoulder this on your own and neither can your fiancé. It will be hard to let others know but they will support you and strength comes in numbers.

Try not to dwell on every little thing until you know where this is going, I know that's almost impossible from experience but it does no good worrying yourself sick at this stage.

Be strong.

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Hi Edin

Stupid question but what happens if there is no charge? Limbo situation? May be taken up again or what do you say? Am or better said my hubby is in same sit. Sol can't do anything, we have no facts, we have no info - nothing....

[edinguy]

Hi Edin

Stupid question but what happens if there is no charge? Limbo situation? May be taken up again or what do you say? Am or better said my hubby is in same sit. Sol can't do anything, we have no facts, we have no info - nothing....

Well from what I understand sometimes if they don't take it further (charge) then it can lie on file if the decide to take it up again? Now that may be wrong or partly true I do not know the ins and outs of the English system only from what I have seen on here.

I had to wait a year before I was charged and it was only then that the Sol would see me face to face and discuss what happened next, there really wasn't anything they could do until a charge was brought forward.

It's just a waiting game I'm afraid, the authorities take no interest in the despair the accused and loved ones have to suffer.

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Thanks for reply Edin. my hubby's case is a bit more complicated, but I cannot say why here. Cos of public viewing etc....

[edinguy]

Thanks for reply Edin. my hubby's case is a bit more complicated, but I cannot say why here. Cos of public viewing etc....

I understand.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything you feel unsafe of doing so on here.

[Don'tbelieveit!]

thanks for the offer. Will do tomorrow, if I may. too tired now.

[crazyshark]

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

I was told the same by my solicitor that nothing can really be done until or if you are charged which hopefully does not happen. I take it you have made a note of everything that happened that night which you can remember as this is vital when still fresh in your head as I found as time went on I started to re think things and question myself but those notes helped me greatly!

I know how you are feeling, I had just over 2 years of that hell and its not easy but as the above members point out family is key, even if its just 2 or 3 of them because you cannot shoulder this on your own and neither can your fiancé. It will be hard to let others know but they will support you and strength comes in numbers.

Try not to dwell on every little thing until you know where this is going, I know that's almost impossible from experience but it does no good worrying yourself sick at this stage.

Be strong.

Thanks Edinguy,

I hope everything worked out for the best with you. Yes Ive written a detailed account as possible with rough timings as well.
Have you got any other advice or is a case of sitting tight and trying to stay sane!