I feel sick

[lonley place]

Welcome, Theres nothing I can add, Myhome's comments are spot on. It's hard to cope with the hell you are in, but you can ...you have no choice..Its a rollercoaster with good and bad days, once the shock has calmed down it becomes easier to deal with. You might not believe that but it does.
We had 4 months of hell, but we came out the other side, Thanks to the kindness and support of people here we survived and you will too. LP

[myhome]

Sorry for offloading people I have nowhere else to do this. I cant tell friends and family as i'm scared of the 'no smoke without fire' attitude and i don't want to worry those that wouldn't do this. I know for some counselling is invaluable but for us it's not an option, I have tried it once and it wasn't for me and its definitely not for my partner he's too private.

Absolutely no need whatsoever to apologise for offloading - it's what we're here for - for each other, and we all do it sometimes........

Don't dismiss the counselling - there are a lot of different types of "Talking Therapies" and they are all used for different things and in different ways (I work in the field of Mental Health and have also experienced some personally - and still am). All counsellors are different too so, just because you didn't get along with it once, doesn't mean you never will. It's really good sometimes to talk to someone who is completely sympathetic, empathetic and non-judgmental. You could also talk to the Samaritans - other members have found them to be very helpful. They offer support but not counselling which may suit you more.

The complete feeling of nausea does eventually go away....so don't worry about the not eating bit for now. Take multi vitamins and Vitamin B complex. I also live on Complan which will give you your daily nutritional requirements.....

Keep asking questions and there will always be someone who can help you.....

[How did this happen]

Can anyone tell me the procedure when you go back to the police station at the end of your bail?
I assume if your NFA'd then you get your stuff back. What happens I they decide to charge?
My partner is worrying about being jailed when he goes to the station. I know the chances of this are slim as I have to believe they will NFA him, if I don't I won't make it through these next weeks.
If he is charged he will lose his job!!

[Don'tbelieveit!]

I can't really answer your question but can tell you that I am going thru the "no smoke without fire" syndrome... almost everybody who means (sorry MEANT) anything to me have turned their backs on my and my hubby.....

[myhome]

My partner is worrying about being jailed when he goes to the station. I know the chances of this are slim as I have to believe they will NFA him, if I don't I won't make it through these next weeks.

This is a really really difficult time for you. I feel for you and know just how you are feeling. Please believe me when I say that the first few weeks are the worst - the shock and fear, disbelief and feelings of betrayal are horrific.
You should believe that you WILL get through these weeks because you have to - you need to be strong for you and for your partner. Try to think instead, "These few weeks are going to be really difficult and horrible but we WILL get through them."
We all sometimes think - or scream - "I can't do this anymore" - but we can and do because the alternative doesn't bear thinking about. We are all here to help you - keep posting and keep asking for help and support and there's usually someone around to answer you...... sending and

[Casehardened]

Can anyone tell me the procedure when you go back to the police station at the end of your bail?
I assume if your NFA'd then you get your stuff back. What happens I they decide to charge?
My partner is worrying about being jailed when he goes to the station. I know the chances of this are slim as I have to believe they will NFA him, if I don't I won't make it through these next weeks.
If he is charged he will lose his job!!

If he asks his solicitor to phone the OIC a couple of days before the bail date he should be able to find out what the outcome will be.

At the moment we can only guess, and of course it may just be a rebail!

Just realised he didn't have a duty solicitor, in that case he could ask to speak to the OIC directly and ask if he should bring a solicitor with him......the OIC may then give an indication of what will happen

[How did this happen]

Hi case hardened
He didn't take the duty solicitor naively as he hasn't done anything wrong and at the time thought this would be realised and it would all go away. Seems so silly now!!

H intends to use Chris saltrese should the worst happen, can he engage them now?
When I spoke to them they implied he would have to wait in being charged.

Don'tbelieveit, we haven't told anyone for exactly this fear, I he is charged I know we will have to face it.

My home thankyou for the kind words, we are trying to be strong it's just so hard just now. Hopefully it will subside a little. One thing I can say is that I thought we had a strong relationship before, that was nothing to now! I love him more than anything else in the world and we will get through this together!!!

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Hi
In my case, tho, there is no charge, no arrest no nothing, but my side of the family is believing everything a third party (not even the police) is saying. When this is over, that person will face whatever possible - basically for tearing a whole family apart....

Ps: I don't give a damn about my ex-parents (can u ex-parent parents?) but about the fact that basically they believe this rubbish and have done everything this third party has told them to do. I really thought my parents were more intelligent than that..

[Casehardened]

H intends to use Chris saltrese should the worst happen, can he engage them now?
When I spoke to them they implied he would have to wait in being charged.

Hi,

Unless he is charged the police/CPS won't pass over any paperwork such as the accuser's statement so Chris won't be able to do any more than offer general advice and support (just like the members on here can!)

However Chris may well be prepared to ring the OIC on his behalf just before the bail date.

[stressed out]

i am really sorry to hear that.

my case is a bit similar to yours as i was outside of my car for 10mins and the girl said, my so called friend raped her and has been charged with rape and i got charged with aiding and abetting rape. police found no dna or anything in the car and on her body but still charged me and him. CPS has be sure that they have 51% chance of winning the case then they charge a person.

but if your hubby is innocent then he will be fine. as forensic and medical evidence are really important and if they not found anything, then there case can be weaker.

i am not just saying that, i spoke to my solicitor and she said, forensic and medical evidence play an important role if you get arrested in short period of time.

i got arrested last year in august and got charged mid of march so it take a bit time.

i really hope he gets NFA soon.

[Rights Fighter]

There will be little or no paperwork at this stage so not a lot Chris can do. He will sometimes assist with a call to OIC/whoever but that is on the rare occasions when he has a free minute.

I know he will not be in the office in the next few days as we are at a PCMH hearing out of his area.

It's not a good idea to ring on the off-chance he can ring around as that would take him away from his work. If he was working on your trial matter (or appeal matter) and he spent his time on the phone chasing OICs for non-clients I don't think you'd be too impressed!

All you can do is to sit it out until the next bail date. If it looks like dragging on you could contact Chris's office to see if they can help - but please don't assume he will drop everything to call the OIC. It really depends on what he is doing.

[How did this happen]

Hi Rights Fighter
My real concern was if my partner should have to return to the police station should he have a solicitor with him at this time.

We are both worried about what happens at this time, obviously we are hopeful there will be no charges as the forensics will prove this, and from reading this forum we have learned that very often the bail is extended but we don't know what is the correct thing to do should he have to attend the police station.

If he was to telephone the OIC in the days immediately before he is due to attend would they tell him anything? Should he have a solicitor present when he returns to the station?

We wouldn't expect any solicitor to do anything for free but the real question is should we retain a solicitor prior to going to the police station again?

[Rights Fighter]

Hi

He should have had a solicitor with him last ti me but that is in the past and cannot be changed. Which area of the UK are you in? Maybe I can suggest a sympathetic solicitor local to you who might be able to advise/attend.

I am away from later this morning until Wednesday evening so may not be able to get back on here. If you PM Casehardened or Faith I give my permission for either of them to disclose my email address to you (and only you) as I can pick up emails on my iPad.

[How did this happen]

Hi Rights Fighter
Thank you so much for your kind offer,we are in the NW England so I guess right in your patch. Bail doesn't need to be answered until 10th May so I'm doing my usual and pinching about things I don't need to worry about yet.

I just find easier to cope when I'm being proactive and there is nothing I can do so I'm struggling a bit.

The accuser and her girlfriend are also on my Facebook and I know they are in Dublin having a fun old time while we worry and stress and keep desperately busy. I don't want to delete them yet as they may say something helpful to us

[myhome]

My home thankyou for the kind words, we are trying to be strong it's just so hard just now. Hopefully it will subside a little. One thing I can say is that I thought we had a strong relationship before, that was nothing to now! I love him more than anything else in the world and we will get through this together!!!

Hi again - this is really really good to read... usually here if you want a natter or PM....MH