Falsely accused, first bail date this week.

[Casehardened]

My apologies, I guess I made the wrong assumption re. 'seeing each other'!

Not long after we had stated seeing each other she made a claim that she was going to overdose.

[Blue]

My apologies, I guess I made the wrong assumption re. 'seeing each other'!

My mistake, I should have been more clear.

There's a certain irony to the whole suicide threats situation actually, as the episode was sparked off when she confided in me with the information that she had been sexually assaulted in the past. I think we both had different views on where our relationship was heading before she started to open up. Since then she's claimed to have been assaulted by 3 past boyfriends and a stranger, although its somewhat irrelevant to my case and completely separate as far as the Police and anyone involved will feel.

[myhome]

I have to beg to differ re the not giving the police anything in you defense...definately play your card close to your chest and always run things by you solicitor first. When hubby started on the rocky road I was given the advice by a member that if there was anything which would put our accuser in a bad light it may be to our advantage to give this info to the oic. We had information from her ex hubby which painted a completely different picture of her accusation , this was given to the police. Other info wasn't and was saved in case we went to trial.
Be careful what you do tell them but bear in mind that you may have info which could stop the case going to court. Run it by your solicitor first but go with what you feel is right for you. LP

Hi LP - yep just goes to show that as we all say, every case is different. With help from RF and my sister, we have found a great deal of info which has the potential to stop mine going any further. However, RF, and a friend of mine who is a Criminal Defence Lawyer, have both said that if this was presented to her now she would change her story to fit and the best thing to do would be to wait until a trial if there is one, or the second best is to use it after charge - if I am, and to present it then to try to get the trial stopped. I guess all lawyers have their own way of doing things.The lawyer said that if you are holding the Trump card you have to be careful when you play it.......it's all a game of cat and mouse with the cats being lion sized and the mouse being shrew sized!!!!!

[lonley place]

I think I didn't make myself clear enough MH ....We gave them one card, but we had the rest of the deck in case there was a trial. LP

[myhome]

No worries - mine is one card made up of a lot of spots.....
Sorry - gone off topic.....

[Blue]

I spoke to my solicitor this morning and he suggested, in regards to the allegation, any information would be somewhat irrelevant at the moment as its a case of her word against mine. I'm assuming this would change if it goes as far as court?

My bail is up tomorrow so I'm anxious to find out what's going to happen from here on. Saying i'm nervous would be an understatement. I hope everyone in the same situation is doing ok and staying positive. PM me if you fancy a chat.

[Hol]

I spoke to my solicitor this morning and he suggested, in regards to the allegation, any information would be somewhat irrelevant at the moment as its a case of her word against mine. I'm assuming this would change if it goes as far as court?

My bail is up tomorrow so I'm anxious to find out what's going to happen from here on. Saying i'm nervous would be an understatement. I hope everyone in the same situation is doing ok and staying positive. PM me if you fancy a chat.

Hi Blue
Just wanted to say good luck tomorrow. Keep your chin up and keep us posted. You'll be fine I'm sure.
sending you these wings to wrap round you and comfort you
Hol

[Blue]

Thank you, Hol. Thanks to everyone who's contributed to the thread.

I'll make sure to post after if I get the chance.

[Hol]

Thank you, Hol. Thanks to everyone who's contributed to the thread.

I'll make sure to post after if I get the chance.

Sending lots of hugs and a piece of my heart. Hope you get good news.
Hol
clover:hugging:

[Blue]

Hey guys, so my bail was up today and about half an hour before I was due in my solicitor called and informed me that I had been re-bailed for 6 weeks. The Officer in charge has also changed, I'm not sure what, if any, relevance that has?

Anyway, back to the waiting game...

[Hol]

Hey guys, so my bail was up today and about half an hour before I was due in my solicitor called and informed me that I had been re-bailed for 6 weeks. The Officer in charge has also changed, I'm not sure what, if any, relevance that has?

Anyway, back to the waiting game...

So sorry blue. This happened to us a few times. It's like their just messing you about. Bet they haven't even got round to sorting it out! Well were here and we can chat about anything for the next 6 weeks until it's upon us again. It won't last forever blue. Keep your chin up, I know it's easier said than done, but it will pass Hun.
I may not be there but I'll send you a big hug anyway
Hol

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Blue... sorry to hear this. It's bound to create an emotional rollercoaster but as others have said it can go on for quite a while so just hang on in there. Try to enjoy the in-between times and not worry too much as bail date approaches.
All the very best.

[IRB777]

Hi Blue just to add to what people have said , but your story reminds me a bit of my own , it seems to revolve around mental health issues. from your post i would have a look on the net at BPD Borderline Personality Disorder, you may find it helpful, Know your enemy so to speak. This girl from what you have said seems to have some very characteristic traits. This type of disorder is a common mental health disorder where the sufferer makes false allegations of rape and sexual abuse. The characteristics i mean are her threats of suicide, fear of abandonment, her controlling of you with threats. Type The Evolution of a bpd relationship as a search you may find it helpful.

[accused]

Borderline Personality Disorder

Yes - check the online resources on BPD. There are various check-lists and questionnaires. The book Walking On Eggshells is insightful when it comes to living with someone with this destructive and damaging problem. Sadly, it's one for which treatment is pretty ineffective.

BPD often co-exists with other PDs, such as hysterical PD. That's the thing that usually makes someone with BPD go to the authorities and make their false reports.