Falsely accused, first bail date this week.

[Blue]

Hi there guys,

I'm looking for some advise as to what information may be relevant to my case. I guess I'll start by writing what happened...

My ex girlfriend, (who I had been sleeping with regularly after the break up) sent me an e-mail at work asking to talk to which I agreed to. She picked me up from work, we went to get take away and then went to her. We walked upstairs and into her hroom and sat down on the bed (which is a normality, we were rarely in the loving room). After eating I asked what she wanted to talk about, she didn't respond to the question with anything definitive and we started to kiss. She then started to look for a condom, at one point suggesting I walk to the local shop to get some as she didnt want to have sex without. She specified that she wanted to perform oral sex on me and that anything else wasn't ours anymore, to which I replied 'between us everything will always be ours'. She actually said in her statement that I had said 'its always mine'. She then informed me that she had got the injection form of contraception and we proceeded with what I can only say was completely ordinary foreplay as far as our past sexual encounters were concerned. We had intercourse, with her "first handedly" initiation the act of penetrative sex. (I'm sorry for being graphic, I don't want to leave anything out, it's too important that I get an honest response). We made love until she climaxed and then I stopped, after which she told me that she wanted to perform oral sex, which she did, which then turned into full intercourse again with her on top. After she had climaxed again I actually asked her if she wanted to carry on, to which she responded 'of corse I do, I don't know what took me so long to come back up' (referring to the time she had spent performing oral). We continued until I was at "that" point, at which the she stopped and continued with oral sex.

After getting dressed she informed me that she was meant to be meeting a friend at her new flat and that she was late. We then talked and she produced the scan of our baby that we lost due to the fact that she had been physically abused by her ex (and also sexually abused from what she had told me). I hadn't seen the scan and I had actually requested that I not see it, knowing that it would contain the sex of our baby. I got upset about this and we argued about it (to which a neighbor was apparently witness to and has given a statement about). We left the house and drove to mine where she dropped me off. We had another row in the car which ended in a hug and me trying to reassure her (this had been the first time she had really spoken about the baby). About 5 minutes after I got in, I e-mailed her, agan trying to reassure her, to which she responded with a similarly kind, reassuring message. About 20 minutes layer I was emailed a screenshot of a message her neighbor had sent asking if everything was ok, then I started getting abusive messages which I either ignored or asked that I be left alone if it's going to be like this.

I was arrested the following day on her accusations of rape and during the investigation I was arrested on accusations of abuse also, both of which are false, which is obviously why I'm here.

I apologize for the information overload, I want to be clear and honest on the facts as to not miss out any relevant information, so I might receive relevant advise.

There are four specific points I need advise on, any information would be amazing and very much appreciated...

Not long after we had stated seeing each other she made a claim that she was going to overdose. I called a friend who is a registered nurse and we went to the accusers house. The accusers daughter, who was 5 at the time opened the door and let me in. I went upstairs to find the accuser laying on her daughters bed with around 100 non steroidal drugs scattered out infront of her. I asked her if she had taken anything and she replied 'whatever was is the paracetamol box'. I scooped the medication into a bag, along with anything else I thought might be harmful and went to my friends car. My friend then went to make sure the accuser was ok. I wasn't aware of this until recently, but my friend had informed our manager at work of this, due to the fact that the accuser was training to be a nurse and more recently, after being accused, has informed our manager of who was involved.

The accuser has threatened to 'ruin me' in the town in which I live, to get me sacked from work and to have me harmed on numerous occasions. Mostly this happened when we were going through a rough patch and I had suggested I would leave her. She has also offered to bribe me to stay with her and not long before the allegations, she offered money to be with her.

I found out not long after the allegations where made, that she has an STI that I was never made aware of. Obviously my mind clicked as to why she was so focused on using a condom. Since then I've been checked out and have got the all clear (phew!).

She is now back together with her allegedly abusive ex (the father of her child). I know that there are records of him abusing her on her GP files and there are multiple persons that are aware of the abuse she suffered along with first hand witnesses to the abuse that later caused us to lose our baby.

Is it worth informing the police of any of these incidents or information. I'm aware that it may just be seen as me saying it because of what I've been accused of.

Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for the opportunity to share my experience.

[browndown77]

Hi Blue

Im no expert as I have only been on the forum for a day but my advice having read many other posts and from the information given to me would be not to hand any information to the police without checking with your solicitor first.

I think its just a case of waiting now, to see if the CPS are going to take it any further, which by all accounts can take quiet a long time.

I know what your going through and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but as I have been told many times you must be strong and believe that this will end positively!

[Hol]

Hi Blue

Im no expert as I have only been on the forum for a day but my advice having read many other posts and from the information given to me would be not to hand any information to the police without checking with your solicitor first.

I think its just a case of waiting now, to see if the CPS are going to take it any further, which by all accounts can take quiet a long time.

I know what your going through and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but as I have been told many times you must be strong and believe that this will end positively!

Well done brown down. What great advice, taken and passed on. It is a BIG NO NO! To give or say anything to the police. Hand everything over to your solicitor (sol) this way, it will be dealt with properly and not be miss inter pated. Hold on in there, both of you. You may become soul mates at the end of your ordeals.
Good luck Hol

[myhome]

Hi Blue and wwelcome to the forum but sorry you had to find us. You have been given some good advice already and will get much more legal, practical and emotional. Don't underestimate the emotional turmoil you are going to start feeling. It's normal in a very abnormal but sadly all too common situation. Read lots of threads and stickies and keep posting. We're all at different stages but we're all here for each other. keep posting and keep strong

[Blue]

Thank you so much, it's a strange kind of relief to know this happens more often than I ever would have thought, yet, obviously it's quite shocking to say the least.

Having people to talk to who are in or who have been in the same situation will be invaluable, I'm sure. I've already been given some good advise, as my instinct in this situation is to try and do what I would have thought was helping the police, where clearly this isn't the case.

[browndown77]

That is something that also surprised me too, the number of people whose lives are being ruined by FA's.

Its not something anyone would ever think about until they have had to go through it

[myhome]

I've already been given some good advise, as my instinct in this situation is to try and do what I would have thought was helping the police, where clearly this isn't the case.

Yep - I think many of us think this at the beginning. It's so obvious to us this is all lies and fabrication and we've been brought up to believe that the Police are there to protect the innocent so it follows that we want to help them to do this. Sadly in our cases this is most definitely not the case. Don't give them anything. If you do, the OIC will reinterview the FA and she will change her story to fit this new information and no-one will bat an eyelid. Also - never talk to them without your sol present...

[Blue]

The frustrating is immense! The feeling of betrayal too, is just so overwhelming. I can't help but feel as if she may have been seeing someone else, she's been rumbled and she's backed herself into a corner where the only way out is to go forward with her story. It may sound like I'm grasping at straws but if our past is anything to go by, she is certainly capable of such a thing, as much as it hurts to admit it.

I honestly thought this sort of thing was reserved for TV soap scripts.

[Hol]

Yep - I think many of us think this at the beginning. It's so obvious to us this is all lies and fabrication and we've been brought up to believe that the Police are there to protect the innocent so it follows that we want to help them to do this. Sadly in our cases this is most definitely not the case. Don't give them anything. If you do, the OIC will reinterview the FA and she will change her story to fit this new information and no-one will bat an eyelid. Also - never talk to them without your sol present...

Couldn't have said it better myself, myhome
Hol

[lonley place]

I have to beg to differ re the not giving the police anything in you defense...definately play your card close to your chest and always run things by you solicitor first. When hubby started on the rocky road I was given the advice by a member that if there was anything which would put our accuser in a bad light it may be to our advantage to give this info to the oic. We had information from her ex hubby which painted a completely different picture of her accusation , this was given to the police. Other info wasn't and was saved in case we went to trial.
Be careful what you do tell them but bear in mind that you may have info which could stop the case going to court. Run it by your solicitor first but go with what you feel is right for you. LP

[Blue]

I have to beg to differ re the not giving the police anything in you defense...definately play your card close to your chest and always run things by you solicitor first. When hubby started on the rocky road I was given the advice by a member that if there was anything which would put our accuser in a bad light it may be to our advantage to give this info to the oic. We had information from her ex hubby which painted a completely different picture of her accusation , this was given to the police. Other info wasn't and was saved in case we went to trial.
Be careful what you do tell them but bear in mind that you may have info which could stop the case going to court. Run it by your solicitor first but go with what you feel is right for you. LP

That's what I was thinking. I have reputable witnesses that give an indication as to her character and the way she thinks and works. This may be irrelevant but surely the Police can't ignore a threat of suicide while her child was in the house opening doors to whoever might knock?

Maybe I'm relying too much on common sense. Obviously the Police don't now me or my accuser and are simply following the road they always take in this situation?

One thing is clear under any circumstance, I won't be saying anything that doesn't go through my solicitor.

[Casehardened]

Maybe I'm relying too much on common sense. Obviously the Police don't now me or my accuser and are simply following the road they always take in this situation?

Hi Blue,

You're quite correct in this and of course in recent weeks they will have their superiors looking over their shoulders to make certain they follow procedures to the book.

This will inevitably mean referring every case which has a possibility of being correct (i.e. unless the accused has a cast-iron alibi) to the CPS who not only don't know you, but don't have the police's acquired instinct for sussing out a story.

The CPS lawyer will be looking for angles to use in court and I would surmise that they will simply twist the suicide threat round to be 'proof' of the 'trauma' caused by your 'abuse'.

I appreciate that you want the case dropped rather than having to prove your innocence in court but I wonder if you wouldn't be better with examples of her erratic and irrational behaviour such as you mentioned:

The accuser has threatened to 'ruin me' in the town in which I live, to get me sacked from work and to have me harmed on numerous occasions. Mostly this happened when we were going through a rough patch and I had suggested I would leave her. She has also offered to bribe me to stay with her and not long before the allegations, she offered money to be with her.

From a CPS viewpoint this would indicate that the accuser may be too much of a 'loose cannon' to put up as a prosecution witness!

[Hol]

I have to beg to differ re the not giving the police anything in you defense...definately play your card close to your chest and always run things by you solicitor first. When hubby started on the rocky road I was given the advice by a member that if there was anything which would put our accuser in a bad light it may be to our advantage to give this info to the oic. We had information from her ex hubby which painted a completely different picture of her accusation , this was given to the police. Other info wasn't and was saved in case we went to trial.
Be careful what you do tell them but bear in mind that you may have info which could stop the case going to court. Run it by your solicitor first but go with what you feel is right for you. LP

I totally agree lonely place. But the evidence we gave to our pc got changed and also she went to both nieces and told them to add a new statement and in it was things we only told her. The judge told the jury to consider that the case may have been tapered with.that it wasn't the judge to decide but up to them.
Like you said, ALWAYS run it past your sol.
Hol

[browndown77]

This is the dilemma that I have at the moment, I have evidence that is factual and proves that my accuser lied about a few things that she told the police when she made the rape allegation.......

[Blue]

The CPS lawyer will be looking for angles to use in court and I would surmise that they will simply twist the suicide threat round to be 'proof' of the 'trauma' caused by your 'abuse'.

I appreciate that you want the case dropped rather than having to prove your innocence in court but I wonder if you wouldn't be better with examples of her erratic and irrational behaviour such as you mentioned

The suicide threat actually happened before we got together, I have 2 witnesses to this. One who was there and someone who was informed. This will all be documented as the accuser was a student nurse at the time, the witness is a health care professional and the person the witness informed is a department lead in the hospital. They have both offered to be a part of the case if the need is there. I also have the text messages sent around the time.

I actually would rather be proved innocent. Although I have been somewhat advised against it (not on here as of yet), I have very intention of getting legal advise and taking legal action against her, using the evidence of slander, defamation of character and threats amongst other things.