any help/advise falsely accused of rape with stepdaughter

[Hol]

Hi Hol,
your still very much in my thoughts, and just to see if your coping with the after emotions. as i cannot see that things can possibly slot back into how it was before, but im sure your working on it. My bestest wishes to you all and look forward to your next post

Breakmyheart

Were getting there breakmyheart. Everyone's keeping us busy. I dont think I want to face being quiet or having time on my hands when hubby goes back to work. I have disabilities that stop me from working, I'm not looking forward to him going back monday, he works nights and I can't tell you how I'm feeling about nights on my own again.
But he feels the same and things have to get back to as normal as can be. But won't ever be the same again cos were scared with memories.
This has made us really strong as a family now. Your turn will come Breackmyheart.
Hol

[Casehardened]

In the interim period of bail to charge there is very little a sol can do for you...They do not get paid until charge has been made.

There work load on your case and building defence normally gets into force further to a charge. (witnesses and important defence information)

Providing key witness or equivalants are not your salvation prior to cps decisions but are a huge significance for your defence.

I was very fortunate in obtaining a family law sol whom specialises in this field and despite my position have put in many hours of unpaid work on my behalf,and are fully aware that i have a pretty fair chance of recieving a nfa (all works would remain unpaid!) and a family member even spoke to the sol ,asking if fees were paid is there anyway things could speed up, and no they cant.....

It's good that you are sounding much more calm and collected than when you first arrived on the forum; hopefully you are coping better with your situation and your rational thought processes will help you to collate your evidence.

Thank you for taking the time to post up information which will be useful to others: were you meaning that your solicitor specialises in family law or also in defending false accusations of sexual assault; either way if they are prepared to work on legal aid cases they would be a worthwhile addition to our database, would you consider adding their contact details? http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

[breakmyheart]

keep trying

Were getting there breakmyheart. Everyone's keeping us busy. I dont think I want to face being quiet or having time on my hands when hubby goes back to work. I have disabilities that stop me from working, I'm not looking forward to him going back monday, he works nights and I can't tell you how I'm feeling about nights on my own again.
But he feels the same and things have to get back to as normal as can be. But won't ever be the same again cos were scared with memories.
This has made us really strong as a family now. Your turn will come Breackmyheart.
Hol

Hi Hol , so glad your getting there.Stability can be established in time and your love and the pleasure of being with eachother, without that fear shall bring you joys.

Take care,breakmyheart

[Hol]

Hi Hol , so glad your getting there.Stability can be established in time and your love and the pleasure of being with eachother, without that fear shall bring you joys.

Take care,breakmyheart

Hi breakmyheart,
So nice to see your keeping on the forum. Your spirit seems strong. Hope your finding things to occupy your mind and you have people around you for comfort. Anyway,Just wanted to know if your okay.
Don't forget, I'm here, for you.
Hol

[breakmyheart]

waiting patiently

Hi breakmyheart,
So nice to see your keeping on the forum. Your spirit seems strong. Hope your finding things to occupy your mind and you have people around you for comfort. Anyway,Just wanted to know if your okay.
Don't forget, I'm here, for you.
Hol

Hi Hol ,
I trust your all well and doing ok with rebuilding your lives.
My thoughts and admiration are still very much alive and your kind words echo in my mind.

I havent heard any more from my sol regarding my bail condition changes that she applied for , and i suspect the system has done its usual thing and not responded to the application.

I wait to get what i pray is good news ,

I miss my family so much ,every waking day and every hour till i have beaten my mind to exhaustion.

The news article this morning on fa is a mere understatement of what so many go through and has no idea of the heartbreak that is caused and how we try to cope.
So many have no real idea how unfair this all is on our loved ones either.

Deep down i no my children will cry for me and miss the wonderfull life that we had made together, and my wonderfull partner has to hold them all together and shares everyones pain and misery , and for this she is left in the mix of darkness and the unknown.

So disheartening that no authority seems to care that our family is torn apart and perhaps too much bother to unite us , even if like the propasal includes that i dont mind supervised visits with just the children at this poiunt in time, and i would be over the moon to see them .

Regards breakmyheart

[Hol]

Hi Hol ,
I trust your all well and doing ok with rebuilding your lives.
My thoughts and admiration are still very much alive and your kind words echo in my mind.

I havent heard any more from my sol regarding my bail condition changes that she applied for , and i suspect the system has done its usual thing and not responded to the application.

I wait to get what i pray is good news ,

I miss my family so much ,every waking day and every hour till i have beaten my mind to exhaustion.

The news article this morning on fa is a mere understatement of what so many go through and has no idea of the heartbreak that is caused and how we try to cope.
So many have no real idea how unfair this all is on our loved ones either.

Deep down i no my children will cry for me and miss the wonderfull life that we had made together, and my wonderfull partner has to hold them all together and shares everyones pain and misery , and for this she is left in the mix of darkness and the unknown.

So disheartening that no authority seems to care that our family is torn apart and perhaps too much bother to unite us , even if like the propasal includes that i dont mind supervised visits with just the children at this poiunt in time, and i would be over the moon to see them .

Regards breakmyheart

Hi breakmyheart
My heart bleeds for you, it really does. It will come, I'm just waiting for the time when you get that breakthrough, you really deserve it. There are a few new members on here now with heartbreaking stories. It must make you feel that your not alone.
Were smacking our heads on the wall at this moment in time. Hubby was due back at work Monday night and was called in during the day to be told he is suspended under investigation? I as you, what the he'll are they doing to us and why? Long story shortened, he is one of the original workers on original contract, one of the bosses (who worked he way up by stabbing everyone in the back along the way,) has decided to do this by saying he should have told them about this when it happened. It's not a thi g you want to go to work and spread about. You would have thought he would be welcomed back after four years of hell. Hes been there for sixteen years. He's told the union and sol about it and tomorrow the under boss who hubby classes as a friend, is hand delivering a letter stating the reason of suspension. How can they treat him like this, he's don nothing wrong!
The dc who got the social workers on the case has now decided to have time off work and has not closed the case so my husband is still not allows to be with his grandchildren without supervision.
Our sol thinks she might have had to take leave of absence because she's not done her job properly.
I know I should be grateful he's been found not guilty, but we want our lives back to normal and now he may not have a job. Does sixteen years not count for anything. Sorry breakmyheart, wasn't going to exploit this, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere. Our sol is going to see what he can do depending on the outcome. My heads gone, don't know if there's room fore much more.
Hol

[browndown77]

Hi breakmyheart

I really feel for what your going through! I to can not see my children and its heart breaking...........

They have offered me supervised access and are trying to set it up now.

I so hope they offer you this option to!!

[breakmyheart]

hold on

Hi breakmyheart
My heart bleeds for you, it really does. It will come, I'm just waiting for the time when you get that breakthrough, you really deserve it. There are a few new members on here now with heartbreaking stories. It must make you feel that your not alone.
Were smacking our heads on the wall at this moment in time. Hubby was due back at work Monday night and was called in during the day to be told he is suspended under investigation? I as you, what the he'll are they doing to us and why? Long story shortened, he is one of the original workers on original contract, one of the bosses (who worked he way up by stabbing everyone in the back along the way,) has decided to do this by saying he should have told them about this when it happened. It's not a thi g you want to go to work and spread about. You would have thought he would be welcomed back after four years of hell. Hes been there for sixteen years. He's told the union and sol about it and tomorrow the under boss who hubby classes as a friend, is hand delivering a letter stating the reason of suspension. How can they treat him like this, he's don nothing wrong!
The dc who got the social workers on the case has now decided to have time off work and has not closed the case so my husband is still not allows to be with his grandchildren without supervision.
Our sol thinks she might have had to take leave of absence because she's not done her job properly.
I know I should be grateful he's been found not guilty, but we want our lives back to normal and now he may not have a job. Does sixteen years not count for anything. Sorry breakmyheart, wasn't going to exploit this, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere. Our sol is going to see what he can do depending on the outcome. My heads gone, don't know if there's room fore much more.
Hol

Hi Hol,

Does it ever stop for you? yes its great he has his freedom but the restoration must be tense and difficult and now it is really bad luck finding out the new fear of losing his job.If it helps any i have already lost everything materialistic and on reflection it would be a small price to pay if i could have my freedom and share my love with my family .

Is this another new found strength that you will find to conquer this obstacle....i think so and your remarkable ways will shine again.

Please let me no any news, and my love ,wishes and prayers are still with you.

Take care breakmyheart

[breakmyheart]

happy times ahead for you

Hi breakmyheart

I really feel for what your going through! I to can not see my children and its heart breaking...........

They have offered me supervised access and are trying to set it up now.

I so hope they offer you this option to!!

Hi browndown,
That is great news that you are in the process of supervised visits with your children, and remarkable speed from social services!!

Is it supervised in the form of a close friend or family member or is it at a contact centre?

I havent had anywhere near closer to seeing mine and thats now over 2 months, and as my story explains the circumstances ,and i still await patiently to hear from my sol with what i hope is good news.As time passes i become more disheartened and really dont no what i am going to do if this continues. The upset is so overwhelming.

Regards breakmyheart

[Hol]

Hi Hol,

Does it ever stop for you? yes its great he has his freedom but the restoration must be tense and difficult and now it is really bad luck finding out the new fear of losing his job.If it helps any i have already lost everything materialistic and on reflection it would be a small price to pay if i could have my freedom and share my love with my family .

Is this another new found strength that you will find to conquer this obstacle....i think so and your remarkable ways will shine again.

Please let me no any news, and my love ,wishes and prayers are still with you.

Take care breakmyheart

Hi breakmyheart
Your such a nice person! Why do things only happen to the good?
I just had a bad day all round, I was at the doctors and found that my fibromyalgia (muscle and bone deterioration) has worked through my hands and most morning, I seize up and it's getting worse I'm afraid,
BUT, your right. I woke up this morning and thought enoughs enough. I have everything I was frightend of loosing and I don't care what happens now, because we can get through anything I'm sure. (piece a cake!)
It's so nice when I hear from you. It makes me know your getting stronger at coping with this horrible situation. You keep that strong head of your held high breakmyheart your doing great!Your family will be so proud of you.
Hol

[breakmyheart]

bail conditions varied!

Hi breakmyheart
Your such a nice person! Why do things only happen to the good?
I just had a bad day all round, I was at the doctors and found that my fibromyalgia (muscle and bone deterioration) has worked through my hands and most morning, I seize up and it's getting worse I'm afraid,
BUT, your right. I woke up this morning and thought enoughs enough. I have everything I was frightend of loosing and I don't care what happens now, because we can get through anything I'm sure. (piece a cake!)
It's so nice when I hear from you. It makes me know your getting stronger at coping with this horrible situation. You keep that strong head of your held high breakmyheart your doing great!Your family will be so proud of you.
Hol

Hi everyone,

Been trying to come to terms with everything. My family and sol have been great and finally my bail conditions have changed.

I have been granted supervised visits with my children through family members, and I cannot put into words how truly beautiful this is to me, to see them ,the smiles to hold them, to hear them and listen to so much that they have to tell me. This is such an enormous uplift throughout this dreadful ordeal.
I cannot see my partner as yet and it is so sad to me that we cannot have the family unity and I know she will wait painfully but patiently as I do.

My bail date has been extended until july but I have received word that the cps are in receipt of the investigation work and I await the outcome.

Now my worries have spiralled to a completely different level
. Months of trying to prepare my mental state for this has almost become invisible in my mind and the usual emotions are quite terrible. The tears the sleepless nights are merely the tip of an iceberg. The not knowing what will happen despite being another fa victim we face such fear .

If anyone has any words to comment or as to an outline opinion ,please keep me going .I no many have been through this stage already and many members have already been so supportive and helpful, all of which I am truly grateful. thanking you in advance

[myhome]

Hi BMH - how wonderful for you to see your children - and for them to see you - a real great big boost for all of you.

The waiting not knowing is truly awful - but every time you think you just can't handle it any more - think of the time you have just spent with your children and then project that happy emotion forward to when you are cleared and can be with them forever - and if "throwing in the towel permanently" thoughts should try to invade - tell them to sod off and that you will not deprive your children of having their Dad there to guide them, teach them and love them through their growing up and certainly not depriving your grandchildren of a doting granddad............

MH

[breakmyheart]

finding it so difficult

Hi BMH - how wonderful for you to see your children - and for them to see you - a real great big boost for all of you.

The waiting not knowing is truly awful - but every time you think you just can't handle it any more - think of the time you have just spent with your children and then project that happy emotion forward to when you are cleared and can be with them forever - and if "throwing in the towel permanently" thoughts should try to invade - tell them to sod off and that you will not deprive your children of having their Dad there to guide them, teach them and love them through their growing up and certainly not depriving your grandchildren of a doting granddad............

MH

Thanks for that my home, how right you are , and of course the leaving this hell is all too often on my mind, and then my heart wouldn't be there for my angels .my little girl has asthma and stress and upset brings on attacks, how can I leave them as they would never understand.

My sister is my rock and supports me through my darkest hours and there are way too many of those.

My entire family has been completely torn apart over all of this ridicule and the offers of support to gain my freedom are incredible, and if others are fortunate enough to have something like this in their situation how can we ever thank our loved ones enough.

I have found talking through my fears and worries takes me round and round the same circles, yet I still do it.

None of what has happened to me (like all fa victims)makes any sense, it is so cruel and mindless that our extremely happily family has been broken apart.

Yet we stand to lose even more if others pass judgement and it could go from bad to worse.

I have to say this is the most terrifying time of my life and I all I want is to spend the remainder of what years I have left to cherish my family, without ending it through this situation.

I hope and prey that the decision is what we all want and the lies are clearly seen.

Let me and many others have our freedom and our loved ones back into eachothers lifes.

Take care bmh

[is there justice?]

Your words describe it all perfectly - stay strong

[Bluenikky68]

Hi BMH

I've just been reading through you thread and feel so, so much for you. My own situation is very similar and I've not seen my daughter for months now and I miss her so much, as I know she will be missing me. The worst part is not knowing what she has been told about it all and how that will affect things when we can spend time together again

I've had some 'ups' since my nightmare started in January but mostly downs, yet the support and strength of so many beautiful people on here have kept me going though it all. My support to others through their own thread's hasn't been great, as I've rarely felt in a position to form my words poitively enough. Hopefully, some will have taken some hope or knowledge from my own thread that we can fight through this, despite sometimes just wanting to give it all up.

My thoughts are with you BMH, and if I can do anything or you want to talk, please get in touch.

Sending you much hugs, light and hope, BN