any help/advise falsely accused of rape with stepdaughter

[Hol]

So glad to hear from you

Still breathing , still very low , so little ammount of answers from those whom are meant to know. The being without seeing or hearing from my loved ones , and especially my children is too painfull to describe how im feeling.Now to discover a further 3months of hell to battle through.
Every time i raise a little hope and think it cant get any worse and i shall start from the bottom and work up i hit this huge obstacle , and one where i have no idea if my bail conditions shall be considered to change.

Whom are these people to bear judgement on us, have they bothered to get any character information on us before treating us like criminals.
Does anyone even care that my partner must be completely distraught and has to cope with pacifying our sad little ones whom miss and need their daddy??Leaving her to wonder and worry what the hell is happening and whats going on.

Im sorry but there are procedures to follow but surrounded with cruelty and vast unfairness and a questionable degree of there professional capacity, that is becoming increasingly noticable.

I am overwhelmed with such kind words and the support is fantastic, however i am a compassionate human being that is crushed.

Thank you everyone

Hi BREAKMYHEART.
You had me so worried. I'm going to be BOLD. And this is only to help you as it helped me.
I was in a similar situation and I was talked out of it by a friend who told me about someone in the middle of a similar case, couldn't cope anymore and committed suicide. It didn't end there. The family he left behind, apart from losing their husband,daddy, son etc. Were distraught to find that,even before the funeral they herd rumours," saying he was guilty that's why he topped himself cos he couldn't face it"' be strong and when your feeling down, think of this family and it will give you the strength to carry on and fight for your right. This family couldn't and he NEVER got his plea herd.
Strength my friend. I'll be here tonight again after court looking for you. Keep in touch with everyone we are all adults and take whatever our friends say very seriously.
God less you my friend and keep hold of your heart, your wife and family are in there.
Hol

[myhome]

So very pleased....

Dear breakmy heart - so very very relieved to hear from you....I'm at work now so will write more later. Please text me if you want - sending massive hugs MH

[myhome]

Nice one Hol......

[myhome]

I am overwhelmed with such kind words and the support is fantastic, however i am a compassionate human being that is crushed.Thank you everyone

Hi breakmyheart, how you feel is how many of us feel or have felt. However, try to remember that the you that you were before this is still there, just overwhelmed by the shock and awful injustice of what you have been accused of. You are still compassionate person and if you no longer are, you are not being true to your real self. Please believe me when I say that the initial shock does wear off, but that you will probably experience a huge range and rollercoaster of emotions - some that you didn't even know existed.
You have read the posts on here responding to yours - we worry about each other and when someone doesn't post we worry a lot more....... please keep us posted and i can only repeat my offer for you to contact me if you would like to, as I understand you now have my number.....

[Saffron]

Sorry I'm late coming to this thread.
Breakmyheart, I'm so relieved you are still with us! The advice Myhome and Hol gave you is absolutely spot-on.
Hang in there and hold your head high!
I'm glad you found us.

[breakmyheart]

are things looking up

Hi breakmyheart, how you feel is how many of us feel or have felt. However, try to remember that the you that you were before this is still there, just overwhelmed by the shock and awful injustice of what you have been accused of. You are still compassionate person and if you no longer are, you are not being true to your real self. Please believe me when I say that the initial shock does wear off, but that you will probably experience a huge range and rollercoaster of emotions - some that you didn't even know existed.
You have read the posts on here responding to yours - we worry about each other and when someone doesn't post we worry a lot more....... please keep us posted and i can only repeat my offer for you to contact me if you would like to, as I understand you now have my number.....

once again you are my knights in shining armour....And then i spoke to sol discussing my extended bail , and she looked at it as could this mean the investigations are proving such a lack of evidence , would anyone care to pass their opinions please??

Also informed by sol that my partner is going to provide her statement to the police and seemingly wanting the " prosecutor" word removed from her status!!

Sol has added that in most cases she wouldnt advise a witness to make a statement, but in my case it is that she is totally convinced of my innocence and impecible character backgrounds and could very well demonstrate the reality of the F /A and would be looking for bail conditions to be altered with visits to see my loved ones(please lord that would be fantastic to see them).

I have never let go of that only my partner can begin to unfold just what her daughter is like ,and it isnt at all good.No caring and loving parent likes to admit the failings of their own flesh and blood do they?,but god will provide her the strength to expose the truth and protect those of innocence.

I cannot seem to take better control of my asteem but this seems to be slightly better news ,or perhaps im kidding myself??

For those whom are presently at court with their loved ones , i have prayed for their safe return from journeys that no decent human being should ever have to endure.
How terrible that it has come to this and i hope the allegations are explained to my partner and a clearer outline is given about this huge mess.

speak soon and best of luck to you both

[breakmyheart]

we live in hope!!

Sorry I'm late coming to this thread.
Breakmyheart, I'm so relieved you are still with us! The advice Myhome and Hol gave you is absolutely spot-on.
Hang in there and hold your head high!
I'm glad you found us.

Thank you for the message ,
I am finding it difficult to respond to every kind person and trust you all understand that some of us have such upset in our ups and downs that i have to wait for some kind of composure to respond on here.

If you care to read any replies that i have made to other members then please accept that they reflect to all of you that show such support and care.
And i value your opinions that so often offer guidance, and means a lot to me.

take care

[Casehardened]

And then i spoke to sol discussing my extended bail , and she looked at it as could this mean the investigations are proving such a lack of evidence , would anyone care to pass their opinions please??

If the police/CPS follow their guidelines they should charge as soon as there is sufficient evidence to bring a case to court (i.e. the 'realistic [51% likelihood] prospect of conviction' yardstick)

As you haven't been charged it means that they have not amassed sufficient/any evidence; you know your own circumstances and those of the witnesses better than anyone else, if they haven't as yet found the necessary evidence, where are they going to find it from?

(I'll answer for you if I may.....in these sort of cases they have a trawl around, check computers etc, as has already happened for you, look for any other 'victims', anything to provide some corroboration of your alleged 'guilt')

As the accusation is false there is no evidence apart from the accuser's statement and a couple of years ago I would have said the longer bail drags on the more likely a NFA, but things are not quite so clear cut now.

[Hol]

Thank you for the message ,
I am finding it difficult to respond to every kind person and trust you all understand that some of us have such upset in our ups and downs that i have to wait for some kind of composure to respond on here.

If you care to read any replies that i have made to other members then please accept that they reflect to all of you that show such support and care.
And i value your opinions that so often offer guidance, and means a lot to me.

take care

We know that, breakmyheart don't be worrying
Hol

[breakmyheart]

more positive

If the police/CPS follow their guidelines they should charge as soon as there is sufficient evidence to bring a case to court (i.e. the 'realistic [51% likelihood] prospect of conviction' yardstick)

As you haven't been charged it means that they have not amassed sufficient/any evidence; you know your own circumstances and those of the witnesses better than anyone else, if they haven't as yet found the necessary evidence, where are they going to find it from?

(I'll answer for you if I may.....in these sort of cases they have a trawl around, check computers etc, as has already happened for you, look for any other 'victims', anything to provide some corroboration of your alleged 'guilt')

As the accusation is false there is no evidence apart from the accuser's statement and a couple of years ago I would have said the longer bail drags on the more likely a NFA, but things are not quite so clear cut now.

Thankyou casehardened,
I can confirm that i have absolutely no prior complaint or convictions of this nature, and if one trawls around my background ,only feedback would be songs of praises.It seems as though my sols predictions are not far adrift from your views, but i agree that matters arent alwaysclear cut and only the c.p.s know what they intend to do.Sols views is that at best they only have a very weak case and the more relevent information that i have provided the more she has commented on the basis that they cannot possibly gain any further usefull facts to build a case, however should they want to charge we have a barrage of defence,certain proof regarding the lies , my impecible historic character references and throughout certain periods of allegations that it was impossible that anything could have occured and throughout i was always with my partner, whom prior to having our two children even worked with me full time .

Regards and once again a great encouragement

[myhome]

Thank you for the message ,
I am finding it difficult to respond to every kind person and trust you all understand that some of us have such upset in our ups and downs that i have to wait for some kind of composure to respond on here.

If you care to read any replies that i have made to other members then please accept that they reflect to all of you that show such support and care.
And i value your opinions that so often offer guidance, and means a lot to me.

take care

Hi breakmyheart - good to see you posting again and sounding a little more positive at the moment.....I agree that it is nice to reply to every kind message, but with what we're all going through, it just isn't possible sometimes and we don't expect it either. Maybe you could start a post with a general thanks to everyone who reponded to a post and only reply individually if you have a specific quote you want to talk about? Keep strong and keep your faith and hold on to the fact that this could be long drawn out process - but also it may not be - JM was NFA after 6 weeks!!! and that at the end of it you will be back together as a family .....

[breakmyheart]

light at the end of the tunnel

Hi breakmyheart - good to see you posting again and sounding a little more positive at the moment.....I agree that it is nice to reply to every kind message, but with what we're all going through, it just isn't possible sometimes and we don't expect it either. Maybe you could start a post with a general thanks to everyone who reponded to a post and only reply individually if you have a specific quote you want to talk about? Keep strong and keep your faith and hold on to the fact that this could be long drawn out process - but also it may not be - JM was NFA after 6 weeks!!! and that at the end of it you will be back together as a family .....

Hi myhome,

i tend to get so wrapped up in my own worries that i overlook the true depth of others situations.I am not selfish or wrapped up in self pity, just so down and sad. What joy for the family that has been reunited and i wish them every happiness for the future.

I havent worked out how to start a new post to comment and extend my gratitude to all the kind folks on here , and today is when my sol told me that my partner is making her statement, and i feel very confident that so many truths and realities will be told, but the worries and stress of this are really getting to me today.

I have been advised to go to a g.p to get some help as my state of mind and health are deteriating dramitically, and concern my family.

Still we have to dig deep and find that strength to battle on , and we have our friends here and families support that is such a huge benefit,

Thanks

[myhome]

I havent worked out how to start a new post to comment and extend my gratitude to all the kind folks on here ,
I have been advised to go to a g.p to get some help as my state of mind and health are deteriating dramitically, and concern my family.

What I meant was when you reply on this thread go to the bottom of the posts and it says "reply to this thread" or similar. Click on that and then you can reply without quoting anything, and just start typing away!!!
with regard to going to your gp for help - great idea - they tend to be very supportive. They can refer you for counselling (some surgeries have counsellors attached to them) or to the community mental health team.
Opinions on here are divided about using medication eg anti depressants/anti anxiety. My own opinion is that if you get on with them, then use them. They don't cure the problem, they help you to be calmer and be more able to cope day to day. You can then stop takiing them gradually when you don't need them any more - just like using crutches with a broken leg - the crutches make your life much easier to cope with and when your leg is mended, you don't need the crutches anymore...there are members here that don't like using medication so really it is up to you and your gp to decide..........plus you've gor us and we're a great set of crutches!!!!

[RFLH]

please go and see your GP, they can help a lot.

[breakmyheart]

dreams are crushed

Hi breakmyheart - good to see you posting again and sounding a little more positive at the moment.....I agree that it is nice to reply to every kind message, but with what we're all going through, it just isn't possible sometimes and we don't expect it either. Maybe you could start a post with a general thanks to everyone who reponded to a post and only reply individually if you have a specific quote you want to talk about? Keep strong and keep your faith and hold on to the fact that this could be long drawn out process - but also it may not be - JM was NFA after 6 weeks!!! and that at the end of it you will be back together as a family .....

Just had chat with sol, partners statement has been done but no luck on changing bail conditions until social services have concluded matters with her and my two children (no idea what that involves) and to make matters worse the officer is away on leave for a number of weeks so my heart has taken a huge nosedive now. How much more torture i can take i just dont no .Is everyone on here facing the same restrictions that they cannot have any type of contact with their immediate family , because if they do perhaps they can offer any wise words.
I had raised so much hope that at least i could get for the time being is to see them, hold them and show them my love, now my tears are flowing and another piece of me is torn apart, lord how i miss them so and need them so much and nothing i can do . I would die for them and im being killed slowly.