any help/advise falsely accused of rape with stepdaughter

[breakmyheart]

seeing my children

Welcome to the forum Breakmyheart.

You have been given excellent advice by Hol,you must be extremely careful not to breach your bail.

The best solutions to see your children would be:

-To ask your solicitor if he could change your bail conditions (but the police usually won't help.)
-To contact a family solicitor and explain your case.

-To get an appointment with a cafcass member:
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/

-To request a contact order from a county court.
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/up...8/CB1_1108.pdf

You may also go to your nearest citizen advice bureau to get more information.
I am sorry to read about your situation and must warn you that it could take a few months before you are able to see your children.
It might also become relatively expensive.

There are other fathers in the forum and hopefully they will give you further help.
Take care and always keep faith.

Dear boys dont cry,
I thank you for your information and is the first major breakthrough that could lead to me applying the correct measures towards seeing my children,
and is just goes to show how people that you would assume hold the knowledge and capacity have failed to be forthcoming and shown such little compassion towards this extremely hurtfull time that im having.Equally i know how important i am to them and the pain they must be going through.

I am of christian faith and we support a lifestyle of honesty and do not like lies, and can you imagine what my partner has had to tell them in my absense.

I have message from my daughters playschool leader, and she is a child welfare officer...her comments being that she has never heard such nonsense from this claim , completely the opposite of the person she has got to know,with our children forever singing my praises and indeed my input towards fatherhood.She offers her support and is so terribly sad of the effect this has on the children and our strong relationship., however optimistically she has known families over the years whom have hit this type of problem and the fathers have been issued bail back to the home with the family and suggests that i should be given the same oppertunities.Thank you so much for this and i shall be pursuing the options first thing monday morning.

Kindest regards

[breakmyheart]

who are we

This is ****! The same thing happened to my husband. My daughter had her baby five weeks early and was in hospital two weeks prior. A total of seven weeks before he was allows to see her and had to stay away from the hospital.
When my daughter had her now one year old baby girl, she went hysterical and screamed for her dad, as everything got to her. The matron decided to take it on her own back to let her dad come to the hospital to calm her down. He was met at the front door and escorted to her bedside and we had to tell them when he was leaving. My daughter and husband broke down as a lot of happiness and anger flooded their emotions. It was a sight I never want to see again. After an hour my daughter came stable and my husband was escorted out.
How can people treat us like animals? There needs to be some changes, like yourself, I understand that there has to be guide lines but feel the innocent party always comes off worse.
I really hope you can get to see your children, otherwise your guilty before proven innocent, how wrong is that.
Best wishes and good luck
Hol

Hi hol,
We chat again, which is so nice of you to take the time as it is for everyone else that have been so supportive.
I cannot help but to feel to be the remains of people of little capacity that make such poor judgements over so many people and their loved ones.
We are all serving a sentance (emotional hell)before being even charged. Is it not high time that whilst investigations are carried out that like every case holds individuality why cannot this be established with us and the considerations or even options are put into place.Like i have previosely said i dont mind being scrutinised by social services or similar, i can produce many character references , i have no previous complaints to anything remotely of this nature and most importantly my partner would have me see the children 24/7 if this could be possible.

In reality to protect society it has to be accepted that the real monsters would be charged instantly , so what are we classed as ?Of course powers above are aware of the pain and suffering that we go through and the fact remains is they pretend to understand its difficulties but simply dont care and purposely obstruct information for our rights or alternatives, and if wasnt for the great info from boys dont cry i would be none the wiser.

Take care and look forward to our next chat

[Hol]

It takes time

Hi hol,
We chat again, which is so nice of you to take the time as it is for everyone else that have been so supportive.
I cannot help but to feel to be the remains of people of little capacity that make such poor judgements over so many people and their loved ones.
We are all serving a sentance (emotional hell)before being even charged. Is it not high time that whilst investigations are carried out that like every case holds individuality why cannot this be established with us and the considerations or even options are put into place.Like i have previosely said i dont mind being scrutinised by social services or similar, i can produce many character references , i have no previous complaints to anything remotely of this nature and most importantly my partner would have me see the children 24/7 if this could be possible.

In reality to protect society it has to be accepted that the real monsters would be charged instantly , so what are we classed as ?Of course powers above are aware of the pain and suffering that we go through and the fact remains is they pretend to understand its difficulties but simply dont care and purposely obstruct information for our rights or alternatives, and if wasnt for the great info from boys dont cry i would be none the wiser.

Take care and look forward to our next chat

You will get there, it's hard but your getting the right advice. People on here really do know what their talking about and if ones not sure, you can guarantee the next will have the advice you need.

"We are all scared of the unknown"
Hol

[myhome]

I am so eager to find out prior to my end of bail meeting what the outcome will be. Frustrations are building that my sol has been unsucessful to find out on my behalf. Is this normal practise, or some sort of sadistical torture that the police are fully aware that we go through. I can confidentally say that I am certain that my partner has gone through the same being left in the dark treatment. We could all say, yes it is the way it is, but are we all forgetting that we are meant to be in the hands of professional people that are fully trained and hold the capacity to deal with such sensitive issues throughout. I fear not, and like any otherhuman being has demonstrated such poor treatment!

HI breakmyheart - there are many frustrations and angers about being FA. If I may just draw a parallel with my own case which may help - although I won't go into specifics as this is an open forum and anyone can be snooping around!!!!
In Nov last year I received a letter "inviting" me to go for an interview at the police station over an historic allegation of a "sensitive" matter. If I didn't go I would be arrested - some invite!!! When I got there I was read a litany of FA from someone from 23 years ago (yes you did read that right 23 years ago). These were made in 2011 and 2012. I'd had no contact with the FA since 1990. Someone else has also been FA and is on the other side of the world and also needs to be interviewed too. On New Year's Eve I was told that person had been found would be interviewed and nothing would happen for 6-8 weeks. I have heard nothing at all since....so - yes being left in the dark to rot seems to be the norm.......

[breakmyheart]

precious times wasted

HI breakmyheart - there are many frustrations and angers about being FA. If I may just draw a parallel with my own case which may help - although I won't go into specifics as this is an open forum and anyone can be snooping around!!!!
In Nov last year I received a letter "inviting" me to go for an interview at the police station over an historic allegation of a "sensitive" matter. If I didn't go I would be arrested - some invite!!! When I got there I was read a litany of FA from someone from 23 years ago (yes you did read that right 23 years ago). These were made in 2011 and 2012. I'd had no contact with the FA since 1990. Someone else has also been FA and is on the other side of the world and also needs to be interviewed too. On New Year's Eve I was told that person had been found would be interviewed and nothing would happen for 6-8 weeks. I have heard nothing at all since....so - yes being left in the dark to rot seems to be the norm.......

Hi my home,
Your wise comments are duly noted and i am particularly carefull, and even to the point where it took three weeks to pluck up the courage to join this site.my confidence at an all time low and nervous to barely leave my bail address, let alone use a computer, but im sure all too many on here are all familiar with this as well as a host of other fears that we go through.
Despite my situation it is awfull that you are going through hell and for so long, and i can only imagine what you have lost along such a horrible path.never knowing the outcome or if you might get charged and then fight for your freedom.

I am coming to terms now that i cant put hope on the system and could very well mean an extended enquiry period is sanctioned, not great i know but no choice.

Take care and my best wishes to you.

[breakmyheart]

more bad news

Hi my home,
Your wise comments are duly noted and i am particularly carefull, and even to the point where it took three weeks to pluck up the courage to join this site.my confidence at an all time low and nervous to barely leave my bail address, let alone use a computer, but im sure all too many on here are all familiar with this as well as a host of other fears that we go through.
Despite my situation it is awfull that you are going through hell and for so long, and i can only imagine what you have lost along such a horrible path.never knowing the outcome or if you might get charged and then fight for your freedom.

I am coming to terms now that i cant put hope on the system and could very well mean an extended enquiry period is sanctioned, not great i know but no choice.

Take care and my best wishes to you.

Hi my home,

I heard from sol today ,whom had finally recieved news from police.My bail date has been extended to the end of may so they can do their investigations!

The sol has already suggested that a change of bail conditions should be considered, but until they have a statement from my partner i deeply suspect things wont alter.I understand that she is going to do a statement, and hope this will show things in a true light.

How long can this agony continue is adding to my already low asteem.

Other than that my misery just goes on and on and wondering should a put an end to it .

Regards ,

[Casehardened]

I am of christian faith and we support a lifestyle of honesty and do not like lies, and can you imagine what my partner has had to tell them in my absense.

Other than that my misery just goes on and on and wondering should a put an end to it .

Dear breakmyheart,

You may think my wording is harsh, but I completely understand your emotions, having been in a similar situation.

You must know that the above statements are incompatible, God is watching and will give you strength, remember to pray for his will to be done and his justice to prevail

[Hol]

Calm

Hi my home,

I heard from sol today ,whom had finally recieved news from police.My bail date has been extended to the end of may so they can do their investigations!

The sol has already suggested that a change of bail conditions should be considered, but until they have a statement from my partner i deeply suspect things wont alter.I understand that she is going to do a statement, and hope this will show things in a true light.

How long can this agony continue is adding to my already low asteem.

Other than that my misery just goes on and on and wondering should a put an end to it .

Regards ,

Dear breakmyheart
Your feeling emotions that we all feel. Before I joined this site I was very low. You tell the truth and you hear the truth. I believe in carmer. We all understand and I know sometimes you'll be thinking that nobody does and that yours is different, but trust me it's not in the sense of everyone's life ends up being de died on, by twelve people and all we can do at this moment in time Is stick together, talk, cry scream, but we are with you. It's all positive advice, no one on here will hurt you, only help. Please don't suffer in silence. Voice yourself.
Stand tall
Hol

[Hol]

Dear break thwart
Your feeling emotions that we all feel. Before I joined this site I was very low. You tell the truth and you hear the truth. I believe in carmer. We all understand and I know sometimes you'll be thinking that nobody does and that yours is different, but trust me it's not in the sense of everyone's life ends up being de died on, by twelve people and all we can do at this moment in time Is stick together, talk, cry scream, but we are with you. It's all positive advice, no one on here will hurt you, only help. Please don't suffer in silence. Voice yourself.
Stand tall
Hol

Sorry BREAKMYHEART! Spelling error (now corrected)
Hol

[myhome]

Other than that my misery just goes on and on and wondering should a put an end to it .

Dear breakmyheart - in answer to your question - NO - NO- NO.
If you do that, she will have won and the rest of your loving family will have lost you forever. We have all felt like this at some time and it is completely understandable - I have - even so far as writing the note, but didn't carry it through..... There are so many people who love you and are supporting you - and all of us here too. This living hell will not last forever - it just seems like it right now - I'm only 3 and half months in and often wonder how to get through. The thing to remember is that the really black days come and eventually go again and are replaced by more positive ones and so the cycle goes on.....talk to us on here and we will support you because we all care about each other and can share our highs and lows. Please log in and let us know you're ok.......I'll PM you my mobile number. I'm at work right now (lunchtime) but just text me and I'll reply.......sending

[myhome]

Phone number

Dear breakmyheart - I tried to PM you but the system wouldn't let me - I think maybe you've not been here long enough yet. I'll see if i can get it to you via one of the senior mods.....keep strong mh

[lonley place]

Hi Breakmyheart.....my hubby has days where he felt as you do
Just think of one thing, life is precious and so are you. Its hard to keep strong and most days are a struggle at first, I can't say things get easier for everyone but it does get more tolerable and you can push it one side for a little while. Look at a positive you have in your life and focus on it for a while....We are all here we are part of your positives ...take strength from the friends and supporters you have here. LP

[myhome]

Dear breakmyheart - I believe Faith has tried to email you with mobile number......please let us know you're ok......

[Hol]

Hi

Dear breakmyheart - I believe Faith has tried to email you with mobile number......please let us know you're ok......

Hi it's Hol.
Everyone is worried about you. Please get in touch with one of us just to say your ok.
I've just got in and it's been a long day, but things are looking better and so will yours I promise. All our concerns
Hol

[breakmyheart]

so thoughtfull ,you all are.

Dear breakmyheart - I believe Faith has tried to email you with mobile number......please let us know you're ok......

Still breathing , still very low , so little ammount of answers from those whom are meant to know. The being without seeing or hearing from my loved ones , and especially my children is too painfull to describe how im feeling.Now to discover a further 3months of hell to battle through.
Every time i raise a little hope and think it cant get any worse and i shall start from the bottom and work up i hit this huge obstacle , and one where i have no idea if my bail conditions shall be considered to change.

Whom are these people to bear judgement on us, have they bothered to get any character information on us before treating us like criminals.
Does anyone even care that my partner must be completely distraught and has to cope with pacifying our sad little ones whom miss and need their daddy??Leaving her to wonder and worry what the hell is happening and whats going on.

Im sorry but there are procedures to follow but surrounded with cruelty and vast unfairness and a questionable degree of there professional capacity, that is becoming increasingly noticable.

I am overwhelmed with such kind words and the support is fantastic, however i am a compassionate human being that is crushed.

Thank you everyone