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any help/advise falsely accused of rape with stepdaughter

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  • #76
    untied the noose around my neck!

    Originally posted by myhome View Post
    Hi BMH - how wonderful for you to see your children - and for them to see you - a real great big boost for all of you.

    The waiting not knowing is truly awful - but every time you think you just can't handle it any more - think of the time you have just spent with your children and then project that happy emotion forward to when you are cleared and can be with them forever - and if "throwing in the towel permanently" thoughts should try to invade - tell them to sod off and that you will not deprive your children of having their Dad there to guide them, teach them and love them through their growing up and certainly not depriving your grandchildren of a doting granddad............

    MH
    Hi mh and all those whom have followed and supported me throughout my troubled time.

    I received a call from my sol today, with 5 remaining days to my bail appearance, the usual heart failure ,will I be charged ,re-bailed or nfa.

    Good news , she says "a reply from police and N.F.A and no going to the station.

    I am an absolute emotional wreck at the moment and tears ,shock and so many things happening within myself.

    My life is back, and what means everything to me is being back with my family.

    I will write again .

    TAKE CARE AND LUCK TO THOSE WHOM ARE AWAITING BMH
    1

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    • #77
      WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYY.................so very very pleased for you....enjoy rebuilding your life and being with your family - give yourself TIME TO HEAL.........and celebrate - here they are .........
      "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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      • #78
        Happy Happy days Congrats and enjoy the future family life
        So very very pleased...Here they are ..............................................
        Together We Can Beat This Hell

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        • #79
          Congratulations !

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          • #80
            Excellent news, I'm so happy for you and the start of your new life. I know the relief you are feeling and it is immeasurable. Let's do the dance:

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            • #81


              So much good news this week

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              • #82
                Belated congratulations on surviving your ordeal (haven't logged on for 24hrs) and am so pleased to be able to unload the banana boat again
                'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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                • #83
                  Hi BMH,
                  That is fantastic news. The waiting has been unthinkable for you - and I cannot fathom how S.S can think what they put people thru can be any good for a family. Do they not recognise the absolute importance of a dependable father in family? My heart goes out for your children who us have missed you so much. And how on earth did your wife get thru this? We somehow manage to receive strength to get thru this. And your children with you by their side again will show their resilience and become secure individuals. I am so happy for you and your family.

                  Please could I ask if once you got your NFA, did S.S immediately remove their restrictions?

                  Enjoy the rest of your life in total happiness - you have reached the other end with the truth shining.

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                  • #84
                    answers to any questions

                    Originally posted by can it get worse View Post
                    Hi BMH,
                    That is fantastic news. The waiting has been unthinkable for you - and I cannot fathom how S.S can think what they put people thru can be any good for a family. Do they not recognise the absolute importance of a dependable father in family? My heart goes out for your children who us have missed you so much. And how on earth did your wife get thru this? We somehow manage to receive strength to get thru this. And your children with you by their side again will show their resilience and become secure individuals. I am so happy for you and your family.

                    Please could I ask if once you got your NFA, did S.S immediately remove their restrictions?

                    Enjoy the rest of your life in total happiness - you have reached the other end with the truth shining.
                    Hi, and thankyou to everyone for so many heart felt messages of congratulations.

                    In response to any questions I shall reply with honesty .

                    As I was always looking for ideas in my quest for hope I too scoured endlessly ,looking for answers and of course every ones cases and circumstances are different.

                    Bail conditions were altered in my situation and it was a very tough battle to get improvements and yes the ss had to get involved as I have two young children.

                    I was not allowed to see or contact my wife as the police always intended to use her for prosecution , despite sol informing and reminding them that she would never be, and in fact she would be one of my witnesses.
                    However as I was so close to receiving a decision from cps I can only assume that they went quite on any applications for me to resume contact.

                    Upon my arrest

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                    • #85
                      continued

                      Originally posted by can it get worse View Post
                      Hi BMH,
                      That is fantastic news. The waiting has been unthinkable for you - and I cannot fathom how S.S can think what they put people thru can be any good for a family. Do they not recognise the absolute importance of a dependable father in family? My heart goes out for your children who us have missed you so much. And how on earth did your wife get thru this? We somehow manage to receive strength to get thru this. And your children with you by their side again will show their resilience and become secure individuals. I am so happy for you and your family.

                      Please could I ask if once you got your NFA, did S.S immediately remove their restrictions?

                      Enjoy the rest of your life in total happiness - you have reached the other end with the truth shining.
                      I compiled a really long thread and sadly most of it didn't come through.

                      However , I will say that this ordeal has devastated us. both police and ss play one off against each other. Police have absolutely no consideration towards my family and just focus on their job but throw so much suffering into the hell via ss.
                      Upon the bail changes where I was allowed supervised visits with the children the ss told my wife that they were now signing the case off and never heard a word since .Pm me if you want further descriptions of the disgusting treatment and threats that she had at the beginning.The sysem is a disgrace and many of the employees have a lot to answer for. Do they really care......... certainly not the ones she met at the beginning.

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                      • #86
                        Originally posted by breakmyheart View Post
                        I compiled a really long thread and sadly most of it didn't come through.

                        However , I will say that this ordeal has devastated us. both police and ss play one off against each other. Police have absolutely no consideration towards my family and just focus on their job but throw so much suffering into the hell via ss.
                        Upon the bail changes where I was allowed supervised visits with the children the ss told my wife that they were now signing the case off and never heard a word since .Pm me if you want further descriptions of the disgusting treatment and threats that she had at the beginning.The sysem is a disgrace and many of the employees have a lot to answer for. Do they really care......... certainly not the ones she met at the beginning.
                        Thank you for your reply.... please could I ask you what happened to make the police change your bail conditions. If the police were only allowing supervised visits, why did S.S sign you off? I understand if you do not want to divulge details? But if you are ok with giving a few more details - I would appreciate it. At the moment I cannot use PM, but I would appreciate doing so once I am able to.

                        I trust you will have had a brilliant weekend with your family.

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                        • #87
                          bail changes

                          Originally posted by can it get worse View Post
                          Thank you for your reply.... please could I ask you what happened to make the police change your bail conditions. If the police were only allowing supervised visits, why did S.S sign you off? I understand if you do not want to divulge details? But if you are ok with giving a few more details - I would appreciate it. At the moment I cannot use PM, but I would appreciate doing so once I am able to.

                          I trust you will have had a brilliant weekend with your family.
                          Hi, can it get worse,

                          In reply to your question, I would like to say that I have a really good sol and a extremely supportive family all whom had many attempts pointing out validated reasons to encourage the bail variations.Patience and perserverance was needed. I cannot tell you everything that was involved with ss meeting as I wasn't permitted to be there, but it entailed the ss checking out the nomited two members of my family and being satisfied that they would make sure that the conditions could be met etc, this was done in their offices with the ss case worker whom had conducted the new assessment and by her senior supervisor. despite them being accepted they closed the meeting and had to report to the oic, whom agreed . they contacted my wife and said all parties would have to sign an agreement at their offices, which they did .Directly after that without giving any reason they told my wife that it was signed off.
                          Taking a stab in the dark, I would say that in my case the ss and police must have a suspicion of just how guilty or innocent people may be and if I were a monster they would be negligent letting me walk the streets.There was not a great deal of investigating to be carried out and I would suspect that they already had completed it even at that stage.my witnesses had already been interviewed by oic and I have excellent references to my character and parenting . Perhaps the accumulation of seriousness of crime versus the reality of the truth shines out. The painfull process of it all is so frustrating and anger rises.

                          My advise to anyone is to find or have a fantastic sol as I have and despite legal aid and them not being paid as I was not charged they were still eager to fight my corner and to keep our family unity to the best that was possible.

                          This has put a massive strain on my wife and children and I no were not alone on that, and there was me in the background of my suicidal world of darkness wondering if I would ever see them again , and even after I was allowed to see the children it would never be the same if I could never end up being with them.

                          I hope this helps you and if you are in a similar position and wondering procedures ,all I can do is wish you every luck .Please feel free to ask me anything you want . take care B.M.H

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                          • #88
                            Hi Breakmyheart.

                            I do apologize for the late answer but congratulations for your NFA.

                            Enjoy your family and these fresh s

                            Take care.
                            Non,je ne regrette rien.

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                            • #89
                              thankyou

                              Originally posted by Boys don't cry View Post
                              Hi Breakmyheart.

                              I do apologize for the late answer but congratulations for your NFA.

                              Enjoy your family and these fresh s

                              Take care.
                              Hi b.d.c, We are trying to heal and rebuild .It is truly wonderful being able to be a daddy within home and family again. we went to the police station and retrieved the computers and phone equipment and wasn't pleasant as it is the memories that we want to fade away.
                              I am trying hard and aim to be of any help to others in the future as many fa benefit support from the many kind members on here. This helped me so much and as we know everyone is looking for answers that unfortunately cannot always be given but talking, advice and opinion is the next best things.

                              May I ask any members to offer a few kind words and support to "can it get any worse", whom is having a really tough time .

                              Take care b.m.h

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Originally posted by breakmyheart View Post
                                Hi b.d.c, We are trying to heal and rebuild .It is truly wonderful being able to be a daddy within home and family again. we went to the police station and retrieved the computers and phone equipment and wasn't pleasant as it is the memories that we want to fade away.
                                I am trying hard and aim to be of any help to others in the future as many fa benefit support from the many kind members on here. This helped me so much and as we know everyone is looking for answers that unfortunately cannot always be given but talking, advice and opinion is the next best things.

                                May I ask any members to offer a few kind words and support to "can it get any worse", whom is having a really tough time .

                                Take care b.m.h
                                Hi BMH,

                                Your regained happiness is so heart warming to read about - it is fantastic to hear of these successes and encouraging for us still waiting in this torturous period. And thank you for your request to others for support for me. It is such a kind gesture from you. I've just sent you a PM but it is not showing in my sent box!!! so will do it again. Not great with this technology!!

                                I am feeling rubbish but the superwoman in me will continue to flourish for the sake of the people who rely on me.

                                Inside I am dead but on the outside life goes on. Protecting my wonderful family from the effects of a FA is paramount.

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