any help/advise falsely accused of rape with stepdaughter

[myhome]

How much more torture i can take i just dont no

.
You really have to dig deep - many of us have asked ourselves the same thing. When my despairing side of me asks myself that, my little tiny side that is keeping me going responds, "Well what are you going to do instead?" There is no positive answer - so you just keep going drawing strength from wherever you can. Have you spoken to the leader of your faith about this? Could they help as you have a very strong faith?

Is everyone on here facing the same restrictions that they cannot have any type of contact with their immediate family , because if they do perhaps they can offer any wise words.

Some people on here are experiencing or have experienced this and as you say it tries to tear a family apart - but remeber the phrase -"United we stand, divided we fall...." Hopefully someone who has experienced this will be along shortly to offer advice and support.

I would die for them and im being killed slowly

Then, as I've said before, they'd never have you in their lives ever again, and, you'd never see your children grow up, get married have your grandchildren. How awful for everyone - including you - would that be?
Did you get the email from Faith with my phone number? It is a genuine offer if you would like to call me - or if you would find that difficult, then PM me and I'll reply and you can give me yours if you would like to.......keep strong.....

[Hol]

Hi breakmyheart

.
You really have to dig deep - many of us have asked ourselves the same thing. When my despairing side of me asks myself that, my little tiny side that is keeping me going responds, "Well what are you going to do instead?" There is no positive answer - so you just keep going drawing strength from wherever you can. Have you spoken to the leader of your faith about this? Could they help as you have a very strong faith?

Some people on here are experiencing or have experienced this and as you say it tries to tear a family apart - but remeber the phrase -"United we stand, divided we fall...." Hopefully someone who has experienced this will be along shortly to offer advice and support.

Then, as I've said before, they'd never have you in their lives ever again, and, you'd never see your children grow up, get married have your grandchildren. How awful for everyone - including you - would that be?
Did you get the email from Faith with my phone number? It is a genuine offer if you would like to call me - or if you would find that difficult, then PM me and I'll reply and you can give me yours if you would like to.......keep strong.....

Hi breakmyheart sorry I've been neglecting you. From what I read, your not doing too good. Please be strong, it's the hardest thing in the world not seeing you children, my husband nearly cracked up as I said, people only assume mums hurt but so do dads and it's painful. My husband hit rock bottom, BUT HE GOT THROUGH AND LEARNT HOW TO BE STRONG whilst not being able to see his grandchildren. Now I know it's hard but this is were you need to be. It will get changed but there will be restrictions. You have to get up everyday and live with it for the time it takes to change and you will get there. Please listen to the others who have been here or are here, my daughter is always bringing the children up now and this WILL happen to you. your in a big hole and we are all pulling you out until this mess gets sorted.
Be strong because once you start visits with your children, you then need your strength to fight your case. Positive thinking it IS going to change, better with restrictions than nothing. Keep on to your sol, don't let her forget you in-between other cases.
My heart goes out to you, please take some strength from it
Hol

[Hol]

Good luck

Hi breakmyheart
Now today is here for you and I am not going to go on as you will have a lot on your mind.
Your in my heart and my thoughts and my arms are wrapped around you and your family.
Looking forward to you coming back on here and telling us your good news!
Be strong and be calm
Hol

[breakmyheart]

no good news im afraid

Hi breakmyheart
Now today is here for you and I am not going to go on as you will have a lot on your mind.
Your in my heart and my thoughts and my arms are wrapped around you and your family.
Looking forward to you coming back on here and telling us your good news!
Be strong and be calm
Hol

Hi Hol,
Firstly my wishes and prayers are with you this week,
If there is anyway you can muster up the hope that the jury will see through the illusion of doubts and be positive to the innocence and look for his freedom , because there have been some positive outcomes of recent and no reason why you wont be amongst them.Little point in saying it will be alright as it is far from that and you face so many worries, and i wish i could take them away for you, and like all of us we have to believe....

My ordeal on aiming to have bail conditions changed and seeing my family are ridled with obstacles, police and social services .Sol is trying hard to get answers and nothing positive forthcoming.In principal there is no reason why i cannot see them but not in there eyes and we are all too familiar with the length of time it takes to issue reports etc.
Quite despondant now with fading hopes of seeing them unless i get a nfa and the next bail date is end of May.So the unknown and darkness looms and any faith i held in the system procedures has faded.I have no purpose at this time and already had so much loss and destroyed.

Anyway enough of my probs and keeping my fingers crossed for you all, take care

[breakmyheart]

no good news im afraid

Hi breakmyheart
Now today is here for you and I am not going to go on as you will have a lot on your mind.
Your in my heart and my thoughts and my arms are wrapped around you and your family.
Looking forward to you coming back on here and telling us your good news!
Be strong and be calm
Hol

Hi Hol,
Firstly my wishes and prayers are with you this week,
If there is anyway you can muster up the hope that the jury will see through the illusion of doubts and be positive to the innocence and look for his freedom , because there have been some positive outcomes of recent and no reason why you wont be amongst them.Little point in saying it will be alright as it is far from that and you face so many worries, and i wish i could take them away for you, and like all of us we have to believe....

My ordeal on aiming to have bail conditions changed and seeing my family are ridled with obstacles, police and social services .Sol is trying hard to get answers and nothing positive forthcoming.In principal there is no reason why i cannot see them but not in there eyes and we are all too familiar with the length of time it takes to issue reports etc.
Quite despondant now with fading hopes of seeing them unless i get a nfa and the next bail date is end of May.So the unknown and darkness looms and any faith i held in the system procedures has faded.I have no purpose at this time and already had so much loss and destroyed.

Anyway enough of my probs and keeping my fingers crossed for you all, take care

[breakmyheart]

wrapped up in a system .

.
You really have to dig deep - many of us have asked ourselves the same thing. When my despairing side of me asks myself that, my little tiny side that is keeping me going responds, "Well what are you going to do instead?" There is no positive answer - so you just keep going drawing strength from wherever you can. Have you spoken to the leader of your faith about this? Could they help as you have a very strong faith?

Some people on here are experiencing or have experienced this and as you say it tries to tear a family apart - but remeber the phrase -"United we stand, divided we fall...." Hopefully someone who has experienced this will be along shortly to offer advice and support.

Then, as I've said before, they'd never have you in their lives ever again, and, you'd never see your children grow up, get married have your grandchildren. How awful for everyone - including you - would that be?
Did you get the email from Faith with my phone number? It is a genuine offer if you would like to call me - or if you would find that difficult, then PM me and I'll reply and you can give me yours if you would like to.......keep strong.....

Hi my home,i hope your keeping your spirits up.

No news from my bail condition changes and the system is very slow and has many obstacles to deal with the delicate nature of my case , thus determining factors that have to be considered. Really offputting when you havent done anything wrong and under investigation.Despite procedures that have to be followed i fear my children will be missing so much without me, as i do for them, being an outcast and want to be with them so very much. Havent i lost enough already , i so often ask myself and how much more pain can i take . Just to bring you up to date , my sol has told me that social services have to assess the children and my partners positions and send report to police and then bail conditions can be considered. but what doesnt make any sense is there views,like no contact can be made between me and my partner, or children, even after she has made her statement and still no indication as to their intensions of what they want to do in respect of charging me or to nfa.No complaint has been raised by my partner or children and the f/a'r never even lived with us !!!

TAKE CARE

[myhome]

Havent i lost enough already

.
Yes - absolutely - you have lost more than enough - more than any innocent person should have to lose - but - and it's a BIG IMPORTANT BUT - you haven't lost everything - though it must feel like it at the moment. As you have mentioned yourself, there have been a fair ol' smattering of Not Guilty's on here recently.....cling on to that.....

i so often ask myself and how much more pain can i take

The body and spirit are much stronger than we give them credit for - especially for someone with such a strong faith as yours. Remember "God gives His biggest battles to His strongest soldiers." He won't let you down....

[Hol]

Hi Hol,
Firstly my wishes and prayers are with you this week,
If there is anyway you can muster up the hope that the jury will see through the illusion of doubts and be positive to the innocence and look for his freedom , because there have been some positive outcomes of recent and no reason why you wont be amongst them.Little point in saying it will be alright as it is far from that and you face so many worries, and i wish i could take them away for you, and like all of us we have to believe....

My ordeal on aiming to have bail conditions changed and seeing my family are ridled with obstacles, police and social services .Sol is trying hard to get answers and nothing positive forthcoming.In principal there is no reason why i cannot see them but not in there eyes and we are all too familiar with the length of time it takes to issue reports etc.
Quite despondant now with fading hopes of seeing them unless i get a nfa and the next bail date is end of May.So the unknown and darkness looms and any faith i held in the system procedures has faded.I have no purpose at this time and already had so much loss and destroyed.

Anyway enough of my probs and keeping my fingers crossed for you all, take care

Hi breakmyheart
So so sorry to hear your news. Was really hoping for something more positive. So now you have to wait till may? Two more months! I don't want to drag this out, you must be going through enough.
All I can say is, I wish I knew something you could do to speed things up, but unfortunately I don't.
Please keep in touch with us all. It doesn't matter what you want to talk about, as long as we know your okay. These long weeks will feel like forever and I DO really feel for you.
But were going to help each other. Head up think of that family you will see very soon and think of what your going to say to them, were your going to take them etc.
I'm here for you breakmyheart. I won't let you down.............
On another note, the judge is going to have his say tomorrow and then it's down to the jury. We can only wait and see now. Will be back to fill you in.
Keep the faith and remember about that heart of yours, it also belongs to your family.
Hol

[breakmyheart]

such great news for hol

.
Yes - absolutely - you have lost more than enough - more than any innocent person should have to lose - but - and it's a BIG IMPORTANT BUT - you haven't lost everything - though it must feel like it at the moment. As you have mentioned yourself, there have been a fair ol' smattering of Not Guilty's on here recently.....cling on to that.....



The body and spirit are much stronger than we give them credit for - especially for someone with such a strong faith as yours. Remember "God gives His biggest battles to His strongest soldiers." He won't let you down....

I am so pleased that the outcome was favourable for Hol and her family, another one that has been through such hell.A truely magnificent wife that has totally seen her husband through this ordeal. I felt every bit of pain and suffering that they endured.

Even through her dark times she has always had time to consider a kind word or ten to me.

I have begun to accept my ordeal and torture is going to be strung out, and powerless to do much about a system that takes its own time.This leads me to be deeply upset and going without the love of my family .Despite my problems this outcome has really delighted me .

I so wish Hol an eternity of happiness with her loved ones and the kind members are all of the same opinion im sure.

Take care, breakmyheart

[breakmyheart]

no luck with contact

Welcome to the forum Breakmyheart.

You have been given excellent advice by Hol,you must be extremely careful not to breach your bail.

The best solutions to see your children would be:

-To ask your solicitor if he could change your bail conditions (but the police usually won't help.)
-To contact a family solicitor and explain your case.

-To get an appointment with a cafcass member:
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/

-To request a contact order from a county court.
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/up...8/CB1_1108.pdf

You may also go to your nearest citizen advice bureau to get more information.
I am sorry to read about your situation and must warn you that it could take a few months before you are able to see your children.
It might also become relatively expensive.

There are other fathers in the forum and hopefully they will give you further help.
Take care and always keep faith.

Hi boysdontcry,
In case i forgot to thankyou for the info you kindly provided, i do so now.

These procedures are very long timescales and the police are being somewhat harsh towards the bail conditions stipulated and the complexiety of those involved or should i say protected within my immediate family. whatever social services have done ,become a ruling by the police.

So frustrating and upsetting when you have never done anything wrong and just want to be with your children and loved ones.The impacts are so enormous and we are virtually powerless to challange these authorities.

I will keep you posted in case better news arrive and sol is working hard to get changes.

Regards, breakmyheart... p.s what a fantastic outcome for Hol and her family

[Hol]

Wow

I am so pleased that the outcome was favourable for Hol and her family, another one that has been through such hell.A truely magnificent wife that has totally seen her husband through this ordeal. I felt every bit of pain and suffering that they endured.

Even through her dark times she has always had time to consider a kind word or ten to me.

I have begun to accept my ordeal and torture is going to be strung out, and powerless to do much about a system that takes its own time.This leads me to be deeply upset and going without the love of my family .Despite my problems this outcome has really delighted me .

I so wish Hol an eternity of happiness with her loved ones and the kind members are all of the same opinion im sure.

Take care, breakmyheart

Wow Breakmyheart , you don't realise how much strength you have! The words you have just shown to me, makes me feel fulfilled with the fact that I have played a part in helping you. Amongst others.
The love you have for your family will shine through, I promise you. It will make you stronger than you ever thought possible. You are a truly kind person and I may not have met you in person but this is the next best thing.
My husband, daughter and myself sat down and prepared ourselves for the worst and sorted all domestic things out, so everything was in order. The morning of the last or first day of our lives was like going to my husbands funeral. I can't say any worse than that. So if things had gone wrong we would have had no choice than to get an appeal and get on with it. I didn't want to know that side as it felt like defeat. But my husband made me and to keep him sane I listened and agreed. But I knew, if the worse came, I didn't have a choice and I would have found the strength from somewhere.
Luckily for us, the truth shone through and I didn't have to face that horrible side of life.
What I'm trying to say breakmyheart , is keep going, be strong, we all look at the darkest side and the "what ifs", but, we will make it no matter what and your friends on here will see you through it. Including myself. You will never be lonely until you get your NOT GUILTY, walk free,say your goodbyes to us and re join your family. My next bigger hope. Good luck my friend, I'm here whenever you need me.
Hol

[Boys don't cry]

Never give up.

Breakmyheart.

I am sorry but unfortunately not really surprised by the outcome of your wish (to see your children).

I didn't have the social services invovled in my case but "No contact direct or indirect" with my accuser (wife) and a member of her family.
I rang social services,I went to two citizen advice bureaux,...
I have been told by a family solicitor that I should go to County court,I did.

My case was a bit different than yours but you will learn that there are some priorities to respect.

For you and I, it is to see our children.For the law and justice, it is for everyone to be safe and for the police,to get you convicted.
The police didn't help at all and I suppose they would have been happy for me (and you)to make a mistake and breach bail conditions.

It will take time,months to be honest but you must never give up and you can count on all of us to bring you support and advice.

Keep faith and the truth will brighten your life.

[breakmyheart]

your happy days

Wow Breakmyheart , you don't realise how much strength you have! The words you have just shown to me, makes me feel fulfilled with the fact that I have played a part in helping you. Amongst others.
The love you have for your family will shine through, I promise you. It will make you stronger than you ever thought possible. You are a truly kind person and I may not have met you in person but this is the next best thing.
My husband, daughter and myself sat down and prepared ourselves for the worst and sorted all domestic things out, so everything was in order. The morning of the last or first day of our lives was like going to my husbands funeral. I can't say any worse than that. So if things had gone wrong we would have had no choice than to get an appeal and get on with it. I didn't want to know that side as it felt like defeat. But my husband made me and to keep him sane I listened and agreed. But I knew, if the worse came, I didn't have a choice and I would have found the strength from somewhere.
Luckily for us, the truth shone through and I didn't have to face that horrible side of life.
What I'm trying to say breakmyheart , is keep going, be strong, we all look at the darkest side and the "what ifs", but, we will make it no matter what and your friends on here will see you through it. Including myself. You will never be lonely until you get your NOT GUILTY, walk free,say your goodbyes to us and re join your family. My next bigger hope. Good luck my friend, I'm here whenever you need me.
Hol

Hi Hol,
your still very much in my thoughts, and just to see if your coping with the after emotions. as i cannot see that things can possibly slot back into how it was before, but im sure your working on it. My bestest wishes to you all and look forward to your next post

Breakmyheart

[Faith]

Apologies for my late welcome. If there is anything you need please do get in touch
You have been offered great support and advice which I can't add to except to reitorate that these things seem hopeless at the start but very very often they turn out right. Keep strong. Fight on.

[breakmyheart]

if only we knew

Apologies for my late welcome. If there is anything you need please do get in touch
You have been offered great support and advice which I can't add to except to reitorate that these things seem hopeless at the start but very very often they turn out right. Keep strong. Fight on.

Hi Faith,
thank you for your kind message.
It has helped me in so many ways ,expressing my fears ,frustrations and huge upsets.So many times i look for clues as there is no answers until events determine otherwise, and hear i find this huge wealth of understanding and expression.... can never say thanks enough to everyone.

Of course i cannot reveal my total case and powers above put the fear of god into us and our loved ones, and we live in fright.

As those that have followed my journey of hell ,may have recognised that it is the cruel seperation from my partner and beloved children that has
truely broken me .Yes i still hold the same fears of the unknown as we all do in respect of cps decisions etc,but in the first instance this great facility is free
and in my dire financial situation is gratefully appreciated, and the responses and often valuable info is greater than if you were to spend many hundreds of pounds to a solicitor.Ok i am legal aid covered but for those whom arent quite sure how it works then bare this in mind...

In the interim period of bail to charge there is very little a sol can do for you...They do not get paid until charge has been made.

There work load on your case and building defence normally gets into force further to a charge. (witnesses and important defence information)

Providing key witness or equivalants are not your salvation prior to cps decisions but are a huge significance for your defence.

I was very fortunate in obtaining a family law sol whom specialises in this field and despite my position have put in many hours of unpaid work on my behalf,and are fully aware that i have a pretty fair chance of recieving a nfa (all works would remain unpaid!) and a family member even spoke to the sol ,asking if fees were paid is there anyway things could speed up, and no they cant.....The procedures as painfull or even so often dealt in ways that we cant understand logically as well as no given timescales(and bail terms can easily be extended to allow further police investigations)

here I am trying to be brave, cant sleep, upset i couldnt take the children to get mummy her gift and cards to make what should be a joyous sunday with love and laughs as a family and instead the misery that heightens.

For those in similar positions of segregation of families not much else i can say , we all break down and must find strength to fight back for our innocence and freedom.

God bless you all, for any MUMS out there without there hubbies around im sure the "happy mothers day "are from the heart just like mine is ...

Breakmyheart