Please help

[Hol]

Hi myhome

Hi Hol and welcome to the forum but really sorry you had to find us. You will get so much support - both practical and emotional on here so keep posting what's happening and please don't be afraid to say how you are feeling or that you can't cope if that's what you feel too. We've all been there and throught the hideous rollercoaster of emotions you will be experiencing so we understand. I'm only 3 months in to my FA and it seems as if my life before it never happened.....keep strong....

Thank you for getting in touch with me. I think I was on this forum far too long last night, trying to figure out how to work it and how to start a tag and respond to others. (a bit slow on computers)
It's all getting to me really bad. My older sister has always been gealous of me, not that I have anything, but seven years younger and I think she wishes she was the younger one. Throughout my life I watched her take take of my mum who never had much.
Cutting the story short she has two daughters and all three drink a lot. My sister used to go out with my mum every Friday but when my mum had a heart attack, she stopped even seeing her. (lost her drinking partner) twelve months after, my dad died and she didn't care. My mum lived with me whilst dad was in hospital and after he died for seven years. My sister went to mums house and took everything out and kept or sold it, who knows. My mum didn't want to know at the time and when she got over my dad dying (if you can) then it was too late to bother. After seven years my mum went into sheltered accommodation and up to a week ago, she was there for ten years.
My sister has never visited her only argued with her once on the phone when she was drunk.
My point of this is to let you see that two years ago when she phoned my mum, it was boxing day and she said, "you have another side of the family, not just them,) (meaning my brother and my daughter and her child, now two children) her daughter who is the one accusing my husband, used to be at my house most of the time because her mum was out drinking. She was like my own daughter I loved her so much and cannot believe she has done this to us.
Found out off her ex husband that my niece has always been gealous of me because we have a family home and life and she was always pushed to one side with her sister because her mother was too busy drinking.
Now they all drink together and in front of children and smoking pot. But there's no proof of this, so its hearsay.
There getting back at me through my husband, because they know how close we are. He is my life and so is my daughter and grandchildren and my mum. Hope you can see the pattern here of a family feud and my husband is the one who is suffering the most.
Sorry for bending your ear, I feel I've got a bit off my chest, the first time in over a few years.
Thanks for listening
Hol

[lonley place]

Hi Hol,Please don't apologise for your post, feel free to vent your emotions.. we've all been there.
I can understand how you feel as it was our daughter who accused her dad. Its sad how people you love can
hurt you like this. We still wonder now why we were attacked in this way but I guess we will never really know.
Please don't blame yourself for what is happening, its something I did until I realised I was wasting precious time I
could be using supporting my hubby. You are stronger than you think you are, its not easy but you will both get through this ! LP

[Hol]

Hi Hol,Please don't apologise for your post, feel free to vent your emotions.. we've all been there.
I can understand how you feel as it was our daughter who accused her dad. Its sad how people you love can
hurt you like this. We still wonder now why we were attacked in this way but I guess we will never really know.
Please don't blame yourself for what is happening, its something I did until I realised I was wasting precious time I
could be using supporting my hubby. You are stronger than you think you are, its not easy but you will both get through this ! LP

I'm really glad you came on to this site now and not at the last minute like me.
Suffering in silence is the worse thing.
I couldn't begin to think how your emotions are running at this moment, your daughter one day may regret this for the rest of her life, I can't say how your broken heart must be feeling. What I can say is you and your husband must keep talking keep your daily routines as much as possible, but most of all, I found, keeping myself busy so I don't have too much thinking time.
One morning I found myself at blackpool sea front at 7am. I wanted to keep going and not look back.
I was sick of being the strong one and looking after everyone, I was really down. Then I had to pull myself together and think, I would be walking away from everyone I love. I was only two weeks from coming out of hospital after having a hysterectomy and my emotions were all over the place.
If you ever feel really down, tell your husband how you feel, keep talking because he'll be feeling just the same. And hey, I'm here as well and so is everyone else on here, remember, that's what you told me!
When I joined this site, I was so lonely. But now I feel like I'm in the middle of a croud and I'm trying to get to know everyone and accept there genuine help. Thank you for that.
Hol

[lonley place]

Hi Hol..Thanks for your kind words, For us the legal side of the nightmare is over , Our result was No Case to Answer.
Its is hard to accept that we have no contact with our daughter or grand daughter, but we do have contact with our son and his family
so we are lucky really. There are people worse off than us. We are a very strong couple anyway and are stuck like glue.LP

[Hol]

Hi, can anyone help!

On Monday is the first day of my husbands court hearing.
We have had to sit and discuss the what would happen if things went wrong for us and we don't know. Here are some questions I hope someone can help us with.
Our house is on interest only mortgage and I am on disability. What will happen to the house as I won't be able to pay for it and my husbands income will obviously stop. Will I get help?
Hol

[Hol]

Hi

Hi Hol..Thanks for your kind words, For us the legal side of the nightmare is over , Our result was No Case to Answer.
Its is hard to accept that we have no contact with our daughter or grand daughter, but we do have contact with our son and his family
so we are lucky really. There are people worse off than us. We are a very strong couple anyway and are stuck like glue.LP

I'm so sorry I haven't fully been able to find your story and have gone off what you said.
So so happy for you in the best way. Although you have to live with what your daughter did to you, which is unimaginable. You sound like me and my husband. One day (very soon I hope) well be able to live again.
Thank you once again
Hol

[lonley place]

One day (very soon I hope) well be able to live again.
Hol

Keep hold of that thought. LP

[Hol]

Thank you

Keep hold of that thought. LP

My goes out to you. Your so kind.
Will speak very soon
Hol

[myhome]

Sorry for bending your ear, I feel I've got a bit off my chest, the first time in over a few years.
Thanks for listening. Hol

Hi Hol - absolutely no reason to apologise for writing your feelings and thoughts on here - it's what the forum is all about - we all help each other. Sometimes we're on the up and sometimes in the pit of despair.....fortunately, when some of us are down there, the others are at the top of the pit helping us out!!! Keep strong when you can, and when youcan't accept it and don't beat yourself up about it.....

[Hol]

What can I say

Hi Hol - absolutely no reason to apologise for writing your feelings and thoughts on here - it's what the forum is all about - we all help each other. Sometimes we're on the up and sometimes in the pit of despair.....fortunately, when some of us are down there, the others are at the top of the pit helping us out!!! Keep strong when you can, and when youcan't accept it and don't beat yourself up about it.....

Your remarkable. I'm learning.
thank you
We were having a panic at tea time tonight. My husbands barrister cancelled yet again, and we just flipped. Usually we are laid back about things, but this just turned us upside down. He is now meeting him for a short briefing tomorrow afternoon and then that's it till he sees him on Monday.
Hope they don't mess this up.
Well four days to go before it all starts. Were all just being together on Sunday it feels like the last supper. But I don't want to waste any precious time away from him.
Going to have a brew now and a bit of time out. Give my head a rest.
Thanks once again
Hol

[myhome]

Were all just being together on Sunday it feels like the last supper

Can really understand why you'd feel that way - I would too........Or - it's the first supper at the start of your fight which will lead you to freedom

[Hol]

Thank you

Can really understand why you'd feel that way - I would too........Or - it's the first supper at the start of your fight which will lead you to freedom

Once again you have the right answer. I feel a bit better now. Got myself tired now. It's 1.15 am so I think I'll try and get some shut eye.
Good night
Hol

[Hol]

Thank you

I just finished in court yesterday, so i fully understand your emotions. I will be posting up what went on shortly so I would advise you to read that.

As for feeling like you havent been prepped enough by the barrister etc, dont worry, they will have a far better handle on it than you realise!

Hi it's Hol. Can I just ask you how it felt when they came to give that verdict out. After all that time worrying. My husbands case starts Monday and d day is suppose to be the 1st march.
We will be petrified on that day.
Thanks
Hol

[NOHOPE]

hi there

just been reading through all your posts and i can relate to every emotion from start to finish.
my hubbys nightmare lasted for over 11 months but thank god its all over now.

stood waiting for the words you want to here takes seconds but feels like hrs.

me and my family were sat holding hands and holding our breaths untill they told us. you see cartoons were thier hearts are beating outside of there chest, well thats what i felt like mine was doing. then the best two words ever NOT GUILTY it was fantastic we all screamed and got told to sssshhhhhhhh.
with all the emotions over the week of the trial its all just so hard to take in then i think the anger set in with me as to why we was put through this ordeal when it was so obvious she was lying it took the jury 20 mins to find him not guilty.
it also takes a few weeks to realise you have not got this hanging over you anymore, i was expecting to get back to normal the day after and when we both woke up the next morning we looked at each other and just said well what now its like a big chunk of your life has gone for the best of course.
it is now 6 months on and i can say it is only now i dont think of this nighmare daily. some days i forget all about it then other days its like errmmm how do i get my revenge then think nahhhhhh she aint worth it/
keep strong easier said than done i know hope all works out well and you get the result you deserve.

[Hol]

hi there

just been reading through all your posts and i can relate to every emotion from start to finish.
my hubbys nightmare lasted for over 11 months but thank god its all over now.

stood waiting for the words you want to here takes seconds but feels like hrs.

me and my family were sat holding hands and holding our breaths untill they told us. you see cartoons were thier hearts are beating outside of there chest, well thats what i felt like mine was doing. then the best two words ever NOT GUILTY it was fantastic we all screamed and got told to sssshhhhhhhh.
with all the emotions over the week of the trial its all just so hard to take in then i think the anger set in with me as to why we was put through this ordeal when it was so obvious she was lying it took the jury 20 mins to find him not guilty.
it also takes a few weeks to realise you have not got this hanging over you anymore, i was expecting
to get back to normal the day after and when we both woke up the next morning we looked at each
other and just said well what now its like a big chunk of your life has gone for the best of course.


it is now 6 months on and i can say it is only now i dont think of this nighmare daily. some days i forget all about it then other days its like errmmm how do i get my revenge then think nahhhhhh she aint worth it/
keep strong easier said than done i know hope all works out well and you get the result you deserve.

Thank you so much for those comforting words. I'm really glad it worked out for you. It's hard today when he goes to his barrister and I can't be with him because I'm a witness for the other side. The pc did this to prevent me going in the court room. But my best friend is standing in my place throughout all the ordeal she been so good.
After today it's the waiting gain till Monday. But thank you once again. I'll keep you informed on what happens
Hol