Accused, lost scared destroyed

[myhome]

The distance between me and my partner is growing each day and there is nothing I can do about it.

Do you want to do anything about it? If you love your partner and want to save your relationship you first have to start believing that you CAN do something about it....how about relationship counselling? Talking frankly with your partner about how much she means to you and that this situation is not going to last forever and that many members have rebuilt their lives successfully afterwards.
if you continue to believe there is nothing you can do about, then the outcome is inevitable...

I feel like there is nothing left to loose.

Another way of looking at this is that you have got as low as you think you can get, so there is no further down that you can go to. So whatever happens now, you won't feel any worse than you do at the moment....which also means, every step you take now on this awful journey is either on the level or upwards....there is a saying which goes something like, "If you continue to do nothing, nothing will change...." so if you want to make changes, and fight your way out of this, then you have to make those changes. Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

I know that none of this is easy to do - in fact it's bleddy difficult - and I know this because other members have said so and because I am doing it myself too. If you give up and accept what is happening to you, then you have lost and she has won - she doesn't deserve to win anything, but you do.......

hang on in here hon - we'll help you all we can......

[evian1976]

Well I met with my barrister last week and female who has lots of experience in case's like this. It still doesn't make it any easier, infect to hear her saying that if I am found guilty the sentence is not a light 1 and she had to tell me that, also no matter what I plea bargain if not guilty is a no no which I would never do anyway.

Thing is all, I know I messed up on my 2nd interview, when you have lost everything you have ever had, depressed, not knowing what's real and what's not, awake or asleep......... I felt like everything I was being asked by the OIC came with a response that I should say, low afraid and week, and so confused. They tell me the victim ran to some place crying and its seen on CCTV (Didn't happen) I just was so confused and scared, they even kept me in after because of the state of my mind.................. and this is now my downfall

I had to watch the CCTV of the night from the cameras around the area and still believe I was a victim of some form of drugging. I seen myself leave the pub just fine, walking down the street just fine, crossing a road hand in hand just fine, come from the alleged area stand and talk for 9 mins just fine and go our separate ways (at this time I was ment to be slapping her and grabbing her round the throat, and several cars go past and even ppl walking and don't look over or even stop) then there is a gap and I don't even recognise myself. Zombie, lost wondering...


It hit like a Ton of bricks every time I think about it and well I just don't know anymore.... I am just so scared of not been able to see my children grow up, spend time with my other half, everything that comes with it really

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Evian, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. Somewhere from deep inside you , you are going to have to find strength to fight this.

You're barrister's sounds like she's on the ball. As you've discovered, there are certain things they have to say and others that are wise to say (eg I listened to our's say something like: I'm going to ask the judge that if the jury come back with 'guilty' verdict whether you can be bailed awaiting sentence - rather than remanded). That was not nice to hear but really nice of her, don't you think?

-They are highly knowledgeable technicians, often with great human experience. Have you discussed your state of mind at the second interview with your barrister?
- There are set ways they're allowed to question and behave - eg. I believe the police are not allowed to ask leading questions or make threats of any kind.
- Your legal team has the opportunity to have the statements edited if it contains errors or any kind .
- I would ask for a copy of your police detention and interview records from the police station, as if you were not in a fit state to leave the station ( and possibly to be interviewed) there should be a record of it and put it past your sol. Your legal team can also check to see there hasn't been an abuse of process.
- If you compromised yourself under pressure and you say something different in court, it could be argued that this was due to your mental state during that interview.

I feel you have been greatly weakened by the shock and depression , BUT ... No amount of energy or effort is wasted in trying to establish your innocence.

All the best

[evian1976]

Well have my PCM tomorrow, so time for a shave and get some sleep. Barrister told me she is going to speak with the Barrister CPS to discuss case, not sure what that's for.


Will update you all some time next week.


Ty

[myhome]

keep strong - will be thinking of you and hope this is not too awful.....

[evian1976]

Well they finally got the video link working :/, then had conference with barrister and I was so shocked to here that they offered a plea deal so early :-(

If I plead guilty to assault by penetration they will drop the rape charge, why do that, is it just for stats or something?

I plead not guilty to both charges naturally as that is the truth.

It thrown me a bit of a curve ball really and plumped me into a depressed state.

[myhome]

This seems to be a tactic used quite often. It does mean they get a prosecution which makes them look good and bumps up their targets. It also means you don't have a trial which saves them time and money and saves your barrister/legal team a lot of work... You would also get a shorter sentence which is their "carrot."

However, you have done the right thing by not accepting this. Once you have pleaded guilty, you have to sign the SOR, do their "treatment" courses in prison and can never appeal against the process....

keep strong and belief in your truth and innocence and keep trying to find as much info as you can for your defence and remember to share it only with your legal team and NOT plod or cps........

[Boys don't cry]

Evian.

MH is spot on with the "carrot" but they will ask you to plead guilty until Crown Court.
CPS and police to get a conviction.Your barrister to cut a long story short but in the end ,he (or she) is here to help and save you.
I had a bargain of two and a half years,never accepted,...
Always remain innocent and proud to be fighting.

If you want to have a chat don't hesitate to PM me.
Take care.

[Casehardened]

If I plead guilty to assault by penetration they will drop the rape charge, why do that, is it just for stats or something?

If this was a genuine (as opposed to false) accusation, how can the CPS justify this sort of plea bargaining to a real victim........"Well Miss X, we are going to charge the man who raped you with assaulting you [with his finger]"

As MH & BDC have said, you have done absolutely the right thing in rejecting the offer, if they thought they had a cast-iron case (i.e. there was no dispute over consent) they would have never made it.

[myhome]

If this was a genuine (as opposed to false) accusation, how can the CPS justify this sort of plea bargaining to a real victim........"Well Miss X, we are going to charge the man who raped you with assaulting you [with his finger]".

Excellent point CH - had never thought of this before - quite an insult to real victims.....does this kind of plea bargaining happen in all rape cases or only in ones where plod and cps know it's a FA just so they can secure a conviction - even at the cost of an innocent person going to jail....

[Casehardened]

....does this kind of plea bargaining happen in all rape cases or only in ones where plod and cps know it's a FA just so they can secure a conviction - even at the cost of an innocent person going to jail....

Who knows.......in any case I think plea bargaining is a travesty of justice (and another bad habit we've imported from the USA)....I guess, as you say, it's probably all about meeting targets.....because of the (too few) PCJ cases that do get into the media, juries are quite reluctant to convict for rape (but might well think 'oh assault's not so bad because no-one has ever been prosecuted for making a false accusation of assault')

[evian1976]

Since all this has happened, I have left my family home, struggling each day to get to the end....... I told my partner the truth about the night and put of giving her my statement, not for lies if there was any just, you people must know how people minds work and I know hers. Anyhow I gave in and sent her the statements, but it was the case so far every little details that they have to try and convict me. so much plod has left out from interviews is untrue. I was feeling lower than low so went to see a friend who has a pub here, he has been a great support and knows everything...... he pulled me to 1 side to show me a clipping from a local news paper where they have my name listed and age and allegation............... it has bowled me over.....


Every day is harder and harder it really is.


I love my x partner with all my heart I really do, but I just don't see a way forward past her reading all this nastiness and the final straw is the new paper

Very low

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi Evian,

Sorry to here about your situation. I am just in a position of waiting to hear today or tomoz about my fate. So I can empathies with you. I cant even imagine what you are going through as I have not been charged yet. Altough I will be I feel. I was not needed for a second interview the OIC told my solicitor. Which was good news to a certain degree. Its just a waiting game. My case is being reviewd a second time. Given what you have said I feel the CPS if given a NFA and say the person goes onto commit an act of crime then this would not look good in the media. Therefore my feeling is that the CPS put it before the court arena. If then the jury find an offender not guilty and they go on to commit a crime then it will not be the CPS fault. Thats my view. Thats why I feel they dont need 51% anymore. Just my view. Fingers rossed that you will walk free. As been mentioned if you a are not guilty dont plead it under any circumstances. No matter what plea bargin you get. To me 1yr 12 yrs is all the same if I am not guilty but doing time on a plea bargin well that would mess my head up.

Regards,

Ghost....B

[evian1976]

Hi all, well I wanted to just sum up how this is for me. Its like been told I have x month to live it really is, everything I have ever had, wanted, need in life can be gone in a flash. Everyone says the same "I didn't do it, I am innocent" and the worst thing is............. I didn't do it, and I am innocent............. After reading the police file to the CPS they leave so much out, so many things I said.............. I start to doubt myself after reading this.


I just don't know what I would do if I get "Guilty" its just a crying shame, so many things us FA don't get done to us

1. No Body Map
2. No Drug test
3. No Amenity
4. CCTV worthless.
5. Just not believed


I am so lost and confused, and so scared

[evian1976]

Tomorrow it would have been an entire year of living in this hell. Its going to be tough day.